I found books super helpful, I read more parenting books than birthing books. I read books like the happiest baby on the block just in case I had a high needs baby. I also took hypnobirthing because everyone recommended which I found was kind of a waste of money
I took a few prenatal classes and some were great and others not so much. I really found the prepared childbirth helpful. It helped me know when to head to the hospital, how to labor at home until it was time to go, gave me info on different birthing positions and gave my husband tips on supporting me through labor. The infant CPR class was great too and very useful (and I actually used the back hitting technique when DD choked on a teething wafer). My ILs and parents liked it too.
The childcare class wasn’t that helpful since it was really basic stuff that is kinda no brainer to me. The breastfeeding class was informative but I wished it focused more on actual breastfeeding instead of facts about it. It did give me some good resources for support though which I did use when I was having trouble.
I think it really depends on the classes available in your area because all of them are done differently depending on the teacher. I recommend talking to other moms who may have taken them at the place you plan to deliver or even your OB.
I actually enjoyed going to the classes. It got me excited for what was to come and also made me feel more prepared (even though nothing can ever truly prepare you) which eased my anxiety. I also felt like it was a bonding experience for my husband and I. Plus we met some really nice couples, one of which delivered the same day!
Books I read and liked: Ina May Guide to Childbirth and Birth from Within
I didn’t read any books or take any classes. I was a pretty active member on my first BMB and I think the knowledge I absorbed there was invaluable.
I will say that I wasn’t successful with breastfeeding my first because I was totally clueless. I wish I would have taken a class or read a book on that specific topic.
Another thing to add, if it’s available my husband really liked his new Dad bootcamp class. It was lead by veteran dads along with dads of new babies who were there to share their experiences, give advice and answer any questions/concerns with soon to be dads.
My husband still remembers stuff he was told in that class and he actually went back as a new dad as a volunteer teacher. I feel like the all guy atmosphere helps ease soon to be dads and allows them to be more open than they normally would about their concerns, fears etc.
These classes and book suggestions are so good! I think I’ve pretty much decided on classes for myself (and H will come to those too), but an actual dedicated dad class sounds awesome. H is a big worrier and is already losing sleep over not knowing what to do and if he’ll somehow hurt the baby. I know he’ll be a great dad, maybe something like this will give him a little confidence boost!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
In terms of labor - I wish I had taken a Lamaze class or something. When it came to pushing etc I was just not getting it while in the throes Of labor and DS had to get vacuumed.
I may look into it this time around for some better pushing techniques lol.
In in terms of taking care of a baby, read a lot and ask family, friends, relatives. You find out though that something just clicks once you have that little babe at home.
Edit it to add: I am taking prenatal yoga this time around! Loving it!
@becks_726 - Classes weren't helpful for me, but they were for DH. My background is in psychology with an emphasis in psychobiology (focusing largely on women) so I've had a lot of classes focusing on these things.
As for noise, both kids heard the dogs in utero and were never really bothered by them.
As for books, I did read the Ina May book before #1 was born, but really didn't read anything else. I did read a book on sleep training with DD and have read a few positive parenting books. That's really it.
I took all the classes: a one month birth class (DH put his foot down when I tried to sign us up for Bradley), breastfeeding, CPR, and a 4th Trimester Prep class. I appreciated all of them and would recommend any of them to a friend. The breastfeeding class was particularly helpful, I knew a lot of the information but DH didn't, so it was great for him to learn. Also, they gave out information about support programs. For example, at the hospital near my there is a breastfeeding clinic that is free and doesn't need an appointment. It was helpful to have that information before I needed it, because I did go to that clinic more than once! I did have a lot of knowledge from my birth class but again, DH didn't! It was so helpful to be on the same page and I did learn a lot in the class about birth, and about him. What we learned impacted my birth plan. The 4th Trimester Prep class was also invaluable. I can't over explain enough how unprepared DH and I were for a baby. I think we thought we were getting a 3rd grader. We needed to have someone explain how to swaddle and sush and sway. It also just got us thinking more about how emotionally difficult that time would be. I am a very hands on person and for that pregnancy it was really important to force myself to take time to "be pregnant" and "do pregnant stuff". I understand not everyone needs that but I loved the classes we took and am planning on taking one this time too because I think DH and I need to have some dedicated time/space to be present for this pregnancy.
DH and I took a prenatal class. It was broken up into 1 hour classes over 7 weeks. Some topics were helpful, such as the pain meds available at that specific hospital, and the tour of labor/delivery was great. But, there was a lot of fluff that we felt was a waste of time.
DH said he wished we took a course on how to prepare us for what to do with the baby once we took it home. Neither of us grew up or babysat babies, so it was a major shock. Luckily, my mom has a lot of experience with newborns and basically stayed with us the first week.
I highly recommend reading books, but if that’s not your thing, take a class, and get your husband/partner to come along too. It’s always better to be more prepared.
Thank you all for your input! I'm in a weird situation because (a) there appears to be very little available around here and (b) DH won't be around to take any of the classes with me, sadly. I think it would have been super valuable for us to learn things together but that just isn't in the cards. I've got an Amazon order sitting in my cart and I'll sign up for the one class I do want to take and then I'll see how that goes.
@becks_726 I do recall finding an online site that offered classes/video training online. They do cost money but they’re prerecorded so you and DH can do anytime!
@omie_wise I hope I like it too... I was doing hot yoga 3-4 x a week up until I realized I was pregnant, and then I stopped.. looking forward to it even if it won't be hot!
@cass06_07 I LOVED prenatal yoga with DS. I don't feel like I have the energy for it quite yet, but I loved how connected I felt to him. I didn't take a class, but would do youtube videos in his nursery when I felt up to it. It was so special.
I didn't do any birthing classes or anything solely because I didn't want to become more anxious then I already was going to be. I was on my own when dd1 was born so I also didn't want to be the only mama without her partner there.
Our RainbowBaby H arrived at 37 weeks on 12/20/16!
Baby E arrived at 37 weeks on 01/31/15!
Married my Marine 05.23.14
*TW* TWIN LOSS 7.2.15 BFP 9.7.15 CP BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16 BFP 10.14.17 CP BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
I really appreciated the breastfeeding and birthing class my hospital offered. They weren't expensive, but we did leave early when they got to the C/S portion. I also read the Ina May book, and found a local Bradley Method instructor that put together a customized 2 hour session for us focusing mainly on prepping husband how to help me through an unmedicated labor.
So after learning that a pump is probably a good idea... a s reading the product spotlight so far today... im realizing maybe i dont know what all i need.
Ive googled the list for ftm have an idea but none of those pump related items or milkies were on it.
Im likely not having a shower as my family all lives away so were buying everything.
I guess this could go in one of the product spotlights, but I'm wondering about strollers/travel systems/car seats. I'm pretty sure I'll get the Baby Jogger City Mini GT and a Chicco KeyFit 30 car seat (and the adapter to connect the two). If I use these two together, is the Baby Jogger pram addition necessary? If I were going to have a spring/summer baby I probably wouldn't bother with the pram, but a car seat seems to maybe not be big enough to fit a bunting bag/enough padding for winter. Or do little babies need prams anyway, all year round? How do you roll your winter babies around?
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@grebretso with DS (also a February baby!) we used the stroller all the time with his car seat that clicked in (we had the graco click connect system). Mostly because taking him in and out of the car seat was a pain, especially in the winter. We always brought the car seat inside, got him buckled in and cozy with blankies, clicked him into the car and drove wherever we needed to go, then just clicked the car seat into his stroller for any errands we needed to run or walks we took. He wasn’t in the stroller without the support of the car seat until he could sit up on his own. We’re pretty strict about only wearing tight fitting clothes under his car seat straps (so we don’t do coats or bunting) and just snuggle blankies around him instead.
@grebretso I follow the guidance of not letting baby sit in the carseat unless they are going to ride in the car. Everyone parents different, so no shame for those of you who use a travel system. My DD was just super tiny and barely passed her carseat challenge, so I wasn't going to risk accidental asphyxiation.
Instead I either baby wore in a SSC, or used a stroller with an infant insert and flat recline. That way I could wrap blankets around her with no concern for safety.
@grebretso planning on doing a stroller with a bassinet because we live in a very walkable small city so baby will often be going on walks with us from the house, not just car to stroller. I think for people that won’t do as much walking with their baby this might be less of an issue but maybe a S+TM has an opinion? I haven’t done research (but you can guarantee I will!) on breathing and car seats yet but I know there might be some concerns on extended time in car seats.
@grebretso - we have a travel system but I don’t really use it when the baby is under 3 months (safety being party of that. I’m going to get a baby wearing coat and rock that. I do have a bassinet for our stroller but figure that baby will be more cozy snuggled up to me or DH. Take all this with a grain of salt - my other two were summer babies.
Thanks for the insight, everyone! I should clarify: I don’t actually drive (don’t even have a license), and I live in a walkable/busable city, so if I do get a bassinet addition to the stroller that’s what I’ll be using most of the time. I also wouldn’t use a bunting bag/heavy padding in a car seat while actually in the car, only if I didn’t get the bassinet attachment and used the car seat as a pram/mini bassinet. Sounds like a bassinet is probably in order for me though.
@kayjay44 Why is using a travel system unsafe for babies under 3 months? You mean while walking/stroller riding or driving? I thought that’s what you were supposed to use! This is so hard, I’m so ignorant!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@grebretso - it’s just unsafe to let them nap it it or be in it for extended periods of time while not in the car (specifically the car seat, not the bassinet). I didn’t have issues with my first (and didn’t know this), but TW*** Little babies can suffocate while sleeping in car seats or being in them for extended periods of time. Since I found that out before #2, I limit car seat time to actual car seat usage.
@kayjay44 Wow I had no idea. Definitely getting a bassinet then, thanks for the heads up! I was hoping to cut a couple things to save space and money but I guess this isn’t the item to ditch.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@kayjay44 I had no idea about this! What do people usually do on long car trips? We travel up north quite a bit and are in the car for 7+ hours in one day when we travel. Do you just make frequent stops to take the baby out of the seat?
@hannahbananas11 I did about a 9 hour drive with my DS when he was a little over a month old and I used our convertible car seat because it was more comfortable than the carrier one we had and we stopped about every 2-3 hours and he did great
For what it's worth, the risk of suffocation and/or SIDS attached to being in an infant car seat is real but very, very low. As in, too low to accurately measure with peer-reviewed studies kind of low. It looks pretty clear that, if you use the car seat or carrier according to instructions, your baby's risk of accidentally suffocating in there is substantially lower than your baby's risk of being hit by lightning. These stories eat up so much anxiety because they're absolutely terrifying, but they're also very very rare. Here's an article about infant sleep safety that I found really helpful in that regard, because this stuff had been keeping me up at night: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/21/601289695/is-sleeping-with-your-baby-as-dangerous-as-doctors-say (the article's explicitly about cosleeping, but there's a lot of useful info in there about accidental suffocation more generally)
Important caveat: the risk of accidental suffocation goes up dramatically for premies. I do think that the evidence warrants taking a lot more care with these things if your baby is born early.
Honestly, I'm not sure what the limits are - I didn't know this with my first either. With little babies you have to stop every 2-3 hours anyway to feed and do diapers, so I think it would be ok?
@grebretso - Love my City Mini. With my son, I bought the adapter and just clicked in my Graco car seat when we needed to go somewhere (and there was lots of that with my DD being 3/ in preschool). I put him into the actual stroller around 5 months.
@grebretso - Love my City Mini. With my son, I bought the adapter and just clicked in my Graco car seat when we needed to go somewhere (and there was lots of that with my DD being 3/ in preschool). I put him into the actual stroller around 5 months.
We have a City Mini GT Double and wish we bought a single/double sooner FWIW. Totally worth it. I'm going to get a converter for our Britax seat.
I think the risk with the car seat is if you leave baby unattended to nap in or keeping baby in it for a long period. I don’t see how putting it on the stroller to transport baby is going to be a risk. I can’t imagine many scenarios where baby will be in the car seat snapped in the stroller for longer than 1-2hrs. And you will be constantly checking on him/her anyway (at least I did as a FTM). That along with what @jessier19 posted I feel makes it safe to use the car seat as a part of the stroller.
ETA: I also love my City Mini stroller and highly recommend it.
The daycares in our area have 6-9 month waiting lists and we have some walk thrus set up. Any STMs have tips for what we should be looking for/ what questions we should be asking?
The daycares in our area have 6-9 month waiting lists and we have some walk thrus set up. Any STMs have tips for what we should be looking for/ what questions we should be asking?
As for references you can contact - I act as one for our daycare all the time and I think it allows you to get much more information than what you get talking to the director/staff and taking a tour.
@casperthefriendlybeeb from a money perspective: ask about vacation, reenrollment fees and late pick up fees. As far as caring for the child is concerned, our biggest issues with daycare were naps. DS is a nap diva and will only sleep in pure darkness if he’s alone. He just will not sleep if people are playing in the room with him, so he never napped at daycare because they napped in the same room while others played. I’d also ask about security in terms of who can pick up your child and how they monitor that. Our daycare had a code on the door and little iPad. Anyone who was registered to pick up our son had a code we punched in before we could get him out of the room. There were days when my mom (who wasn’t registered) picked him up at the last minute and they were really diligent with checking her ID before they let her take DS.
Re: Ask a STM
The childcare class wasn’t that helpful since it was really basic stuff that is kinda no brainer to me. The breastfeeding class was informative but I wished it focused more on actual breastfeeding instead of facts about it. It did give me some good resources for support though which I did use when I was having trouble.
I think it really depends on the classes available in your area because all of them are done differently depending on the teacher. I recommend talking to other moms who may have taken them at the place you plan to deliver or even your OB.
I actually enjoyed going to the classes. It got me excited for what was to come and also made me feel more prepared (even though nothing can ever truly prepare you) which eased my anxiety. I also felt like it was a bonding experience for my husband and I. Plus we met some really nice couples, one of which delivered the same day!
Books I read and liked: Ina May Guide to Childbirth and Birth from Within
I will say that I wasn’t successful with breastfeeding my first because I was totally clueless. I wish I would have taken a class or read a book on that specific topic.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
My husband still remembers stuff he was told in that class and he actually went back as a new dad as a volunteer teacher. I feel like the all guy atmosphere helps ease soon to be dads and allows them to be more open than they normally would about their concerns, fears etc.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I may look into it this time around for some better pushing techniques lol.
In in terms of taking care of a baby, read a lot and ask family, friends, relatives. You find out though that something just clicks once you have that little babe at home.
Edit it to add: I am taking prenatal yoga this time around! Loving it!
As for noise, both kids heard the dogs in utero and were never really bothered by them.
As for books, I did read the Ina May book before #1 was born, but really didn't read anything else. I did read a book on sleep training with DD and have read a few positive parenting books. That's really it.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DH said he wished we took a course on how to prepare us for what to do with the baby once we took it home. Neither of us grew up or babysat babies, so it was a major shock. Luckily, my mom has a lot of experience with newborns and basically stayed with us the first week.
I highly recommend reading books, but if that’s not your thing, take a class, and get your husband/partner to come along too. It’s always better to be more prepared.
*TW*
TWIN LOSS 7.2.15
BFP 9.7.15 CP
BFP 12.31.15 MC 2.28.16
BFP 10.14.17 CP
BFP 3.10.18 D&C 4.13.18
Ive googled the list for ftm have an idea but none of those pump related items or milkies were on it.
Im likely not having a shower as my family all lives away so were buying everything.
Do any of you have must have suggestions?
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Instead I either baby wore in a SSC, or used a stroller with an infant insert and flat recline. That way I could wrap blankets around her with no concern for safety.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
@kayjay44 Why is using a travel system unsafe for babies under 3 months? You mean while walking/stroller riding or driving? I thought that’s what you were supposed to use! This is so hard, I’m so ignorant!
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/21/601289695/is-sleeping-with-your-baby-as-dangerous-as-doctors-say (the article's explicitly about cosleeping, but there's a lot of useful info in there about accidental suffocation more generally)
Important caveat: the risk of accidental suffocation goes up dramatically for premies. I do think that the evidence warrants taking a lot more care with these things if your baby is born early.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
ETA: I also love my City Mini stroller and highly recommend it.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019