Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
laurainoakland
member
Re: NIPT (non invasive prenatal testing) thoughts/knowledge exchange
@laurainoakland do you have a reason for testing this time? Not that it matters I was just curious.
**Just edited this because I realized I’m a horrible speller.
So that’s why I’m in favor of the testing. If it does show something, and you can deal with your emotions in advance as well as doing research in advance. I want my child’s birthday to be as happy occasion as possible, not the day I got bad news.
For those debating, I think you have to know yourself. I am extremely type A, constantly stressed out, and I like to have all of the information before making any decisions. I was/am not AMA or high risk, so it was really nice to have an option that was non-invasive. If something came back looking off, I would have gone for an amnio or CVS. I was a nervous wreck from the day I found out I was pregnant until I got those results at 11 weeks, and it was the most amazing feeling to have that weight lifted and hear that our little guy was most likely going to be just fine. I wasn't any more nervous waiting for the results than I was in the weeks before the blood draw.
I went in for the test without even speaking to my insurance company because I didn't care what it cost, I needed the test for peace of mind - but FYI, it ended up being fully covered (Cigna, if that's useful to anyone).
I will warn you, they take what seems like a lot of blood. If you've been experiencing morning sickness or are squeamish, look away, and make sure you drink lots of water beforehand. I remember getting a little shaky over it, not that it was even close to bad enough to stop me from doing it again.
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
**TW**.
DH’s cousin has a daughter with Trisomy 13. During US scans they told Mom she had IUGR but weren’t too worried. When she was born they realized it wasn’t just IUGR so they did blood work to confirm and officially diagnosed her a few days later. At that time they basically told Mom to say goodbye because she wouldn’t make it past the week. I’m happy to say now that she’s in the very rare percentile that has survived past infancy. She’s 3 years old and just started school.
DH’s cousin said she wouldn’t have done anything different but wished she had the genetic testing just so they could have been more prepared.
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
DD born: 3/31/19
DD born: 3/31/19
I did not have NIPT testing with DD, but my MFM specialist is recommending I do it this time. I just try to look at it as more information.
on Thursday evening in case you’re wondering about timing.
2 first trimester losses (2011, 2012)
Actively TTC since January 2014
Project RAINBOW
Important tip if NIPT is not covered by your insurance: call the company to ask if the self-pay price can be reduced. Natera sent me an email that said the test wasn't covered by insurance but it I paid immediately online I would get a "discounted" price of $490. Well I had read online that if you call they reduce the price, so I called, and I didn't even have to ask, I just said "I have some questions about the bill" and the rep said I could pay $200 instead!? This seems kind of shady to me, but in any case, be sure you call and don't let them trick you into paying double!
@harveyisaboysname when was your blood draw, and do you know if your sample had to be shipped to another lab?
Mine was drawn on a Friday, and I got results the next Friday, but that's because I live in a state with a corresponding lab to process my test- they did also say it can take up to 3 weeks!
Hang tight! I know the waiting is the hardest part
DD born: 3/31/19