I get very frustrated and annoyed when people assume or assign that my feelings are pregnancy related hormones. While I understand pregnancy can impact some people's moods, I don't appreciate when I express a negative feeling and people will say oh that is pregnancy hormones. I find it invalidating. I also don't like when people blame pregnancy for everything. Maybe you're just a bitch.
@Jens_Hoes I don't think that's an UO ! I hate it too!! I also hated when I'd be pissy at H and he'd respond with "It's okay, your period must be coming soon". Seriously, I could throat punch him. No dude, not everything is hormone related, sometimes you just piss me off.
@Jens_Hoes Agree 100%. I find that often on these forums (not TB but in general) women like to say “we’re all hormonal!” If there’s a disagreement. No. I can disagree without it having anything to do with hormones.
This is related in that it’s a pregnancy thing, but not really a UO. Maybe it goes in bitchfest but I’m here! My biggest pregnancy pet peeve is when people, especially strangers, think it’s ok to tell me what I should be doing or putting in my body. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t have that coffee or side eye me in Starbucks. I am an adult. I was fully functioning before being pregnant and I am fully functioning now. I’m a human being, not a walking incubator. Why do people think pregnant women are free game to just tell them what to do as if they don’t know how to get through life without their input? Drives me bananas.
Re: hormonal Yeah, I can't get on board with the "we're all hormonal, lolz" notion. I'm weirdly steady, and rarely moody, so even with these pregnancy hormones I remain normal. I still cry at the same things (or not), and I get grumpy when I'm tired...like a normal non-pregnant person.
Luckily I haven't received any judgy-side eyes yet. It'll be coming soon since I'm starting to look pregnant, and I do order (non-decaf) coffee & espresso, plus wine in restaurants and beer in grocery stores. I have two responses ready. If accosted while carrying a coffee cup I'll say "Isn't it amazing that hot chocolate looks like coffee?" then walk away - they don't need to know about my mocha-love. Or if confronted while buying a six-pack I'll say "Ah, I didn't know that you only buy things just for yourself. It must be very confusing when men buy tampons." ...then walk away.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echo-charlietango I wish I could be a fly on the wall for your alcohol response. Last pregnancy, DH wanted me to go to the liquor store with him, just to see if I got any looks.
I completely agree jens_hoes! I still have feelings and emotions pregnant or not! Don’t just assume they are related to the pregnancy.
My UO: I don’t understand why people purchase toddler beds. It’s only going to be used for a couple years, so they seem like such a waste of money to me when you could get a twin that will last them until they move out.
@katy0990 we went for the convertible bed and haven't regretted it; it'll turn into a full when it's done being a toddler bed. Our rationale was that it's a decent quality piece of furniture (with matching dresser) that she can use until she moves out and that she can take with her, and we can use it for dual purposes as decent guest room furniture (we don't have an extra bedroom, so no extra space dedicated especially to visitors). She's not going to want a twin as an adult, and I don't like the thought of having only a twin for guests.
As for why we didn't skip the intermediate step and just go straight to the full: she was initially to little to climb up on it.
@AGK2015 That makes sense, since it turns into a bed that will be used for years to come. It’s moreso the ones that cannot be used for anything other than a toddler bed that I don’t understand.
@katy0990 I’ll let you know how it does when it happens! Also, I’ve informed DH that we’re not going to mess with a toddler-only bed. I said that post-crib we’ll just floor bed a twin mattress, then get a frame when LO wants one. We’ll see how that works!
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
We had a just-a-toddler bed, my dad made it (he also made the crib, dresser, armoire, and DDs bed frame, among other pieces of furniture in our house.
It was nice because it was so small. DS moved pretty quickly to a bunk bed, but DD stayed in it for a while - and we kept her crib in the room because it gave us that option. That was super nice for naptimes.
For ds1 we went from crib to twin bed (ds2 took over the crib). Actually let me be honest...he went from crib to our bed to twin bed (it’s a Jeep bed). For ds2 we went from crib to toddler bed (crib will be used for ds3). It’s a car bed. We bought the car bed used because we didn’t want to spend the money on a bed he won’t use for long. I like it. Ds2 can climb in and out and hasn’t fallen. Ds1 fell out of our bed when he was just 2 and was injured (strained his neck- I was terrified when he couldn’t holding his head straight and went to the ER. Luckily he healed in a couple weeks.)
I totally agree with annoyance re: writing off pregnant ladies' feelings as just hormones. Also, most of the time I'm grouchy it's not because of hormones, it's because I feel like crap, and I would be cranky if I were non pregnant and had the same level of puking/aches/pains/general feeling like garbage.
Re: toddler beds, every crib I've bought converts into one, so may as well use the "free" toddler bed until they outgrow it, I assume? (Still haven't gotten to that stage yet with DD and obviously not with this LO either though, so I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we come to it?)
Now my UO, I totally understand why other women find this offensive and I totally believe it doesn't happen for everyone, but I will say that I think pregnancy brain is a completely real thing for me. It may not be for everyone, but I am forgetful to a point that I never approach when non pregnant. For example, just in the last week, I tried to pay for food with my zoo membership card, I left something on the top of my car and nearly drove away and, the scariest for me, I almost took an extra dose of my thyroid medication instead of my prenatals at lunch the other day! It always goes away a few months postpartum, but I swear it is a thing for me and I am not ashamed to admit it!
FFC: I totally have a toddler bed. But it’s shaped like Thomas the train and I bought it second hand for $60 (plus had to buy a new crib mattress) and my son is obsessed with it. Totally worth it even though he will only get a couple years out of it! I never thought I’d buy one but when I saw this online I couldn’t pass it up!
@Jens_Hoes completely agree re: “it’s the hormones” being dismissive and invalidating.
Re: toddler beds, the crib we bought converts to toddler bed, so just a matter of taking off one side. I wouldn’t have bought a separate toddler bed otherwise. Though if I had a family member who likes to make furniture like @runrinserepeat I would be into whatever he or she made!
@maureenmce I walk a fine line with the “pregnancy brain” thing. I think that a lot of time it is an overused term, and used dismissively toward and by pregnant women, as though pregnancy equals brain damage.
On the other hand, there is reasonable evidence that pregnancy and new mothering does produce some changes in how our brains work. One theory about this is that our brains are undergoing changes to make us better attuned to and prepared to defend our children, and the process of those changes can result in measureable changes (declines) in attention and memory during pregnancy. See link below for more details.
There can be degree of forgetfulness and not attending to details that I’ve personally experienced while pregnant. Things that would never happen usually, like locking myself & the kid out of the house (resulting in some breaking & entering with my preschool accomplice).
Totally agree about the hormone and emotion stuff. With my first 2 pregnancies I was not overly emotional, just like when I'm not pregnant. I would get SO upset when people would blame my emotions on pregnancy. This pregnancy has thrown me for a loop. During the first tri, I would cry at the drop of a hat which is VERY unlike me, but I'd still be pissed if someone just chalked it up to hormones. I'm allowed to feel things!
We're in a weird holding phase with the toddler bed and crib. DS will be 2 in September and still does great in his crib *knock on wood*. We're hoping to keep him there as long as possible because we're hoping to move to a 3 bedroom (we're in a 2 bedroom) not long after this one is born. In that case, he'd get a full (maaaaybe a twin depending on room size). If he starts to climb out of the crib before then, we may have to do a toddler bed, just because it's a little smaller and his room is small as it is. I'd really like to avoid a toddler bed if we can, but if we found a cheap one he adores, I'd do it.
Also, wrt the toddler bed, I feel like one thing they’re good at is teaching kids to not roll out. With both kids, we didn’t use a rail or anything when we transitioned them. Sure they rolled out a couple of times each, but the drop was 6”, and they figured it out. Then, when DD moved to her twin (which is really high), she didn’t fall out once.
DS was slower and definitely fell out of the bottom bunk once or twice, but he also spent much less time in the toddler bed.
Re Pregnancy hormones: As much as it pisses me off if someone equates my emotions to pregnancy and devalues my feelings. During pregnancy my highs are higher and my lows are lower. I have notice with having a high stress job and this nightmare house buying experience, things I would and can typically stay in check are boiling over. It’s totally out of character and I hate it! After I loss it, I feel stupid because it feels like an out of body experience that I can’t control. If it’s not pregnancy hormones then I hope they don’t take my phone away in the loony bin.
Not to geek out too much, but @LLynde5 you’re right that hormones do impact the intensity of emotion. Some of the most interesting research about that comes from studies of emotion in transgender women (transitioning from male to female). Transgender women report significantly more frequency and intensity of emotions after starting female hormone therapy.
The other half is how much mental/emotional energy you have to cope with and regulate your emotions. When you don’t feel good — if you’re in pain, nauseated, hungry, tired, thirsty etc. — you are already using up coping resources to deal with feeling physically.
Tl;dr: Yes hormones can dial up the intensity if emotional responses, and we have fewer resources for dialing down the emotions when we're already dealing with all the physical discomfort of pregnancy. But...that doesn’t mean there isn’t a valid reason you’re having emotions come up (at least most of the time).
I definitely don't understand the toddler bed. I am planning on transitioning my 3 year old into his new room with a queen bed since baby will be using the crib. He can use it for ever and it has storage drawers underneath. The queen bed is partially selfish of me 1. My LO likes me to lay next to him at bedtime and I'm not laying in a tiny bed 8 months pregnant 2. I don't like to have a million different sizes of sheets. King and queen sizes are enough.
The hormone excuse makes me crazy. Whenever I get worked up about something he blames the pregnancy hormones, which gets me even madder
ebk20 such a smarter Idea. We went straight to a full for both our boys. This way if we have guests they can sleep in bed while guests take theirs. I know full is smallish but rooms aren't huge and wasn't wanting to spend a ton. Two no chance of sitting in a toddle bed and reading unless you want that thing to snap
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
Re: UO 8/16
I hate it too!! I also hated when I'd be pissy at H and he'd respond with "It's okay, your period must be coming soon". Seriously, I could throat punch him. No dude, not everything is hormone related, sometimes you just piss me off.
This is related in that it’s a pregnancy thing, but not really a UO. Maybe it goes in bitchfest but I’m here! My biggest pregnancy pet peeve is when people, especially strangers, think it’s ok to tell me what I should be doing or putting in my body. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t have that coffee or side eye me in Starbucks. I am an adult. I was fully functioning before being pregnant and I am fully functioning now. I’m a human being, not a walking incubator. Why do people think pregnant women are free game to just tell them what to do as if they don’t know how to get through life without their input? Drives me bananas.
Yeah, I can't get on board with the "we're all hormonal, lolz" notion. I'm weirdly steady, and rarely moody, so even with these pregnancy hormones I remain normal. I still cry at the same things (or not), and I get grumpy when I'm tired...like a normal non-pregnant person.
Luckily I haven't received any judgy-side eyes yet. It'll be coming soon since I'm starting to look pregnant, and I do order (non-decaf) coffee & espresso, plus wine in restaurants and beer in grocery stores. I have two responses ready. If accosted while carrying a coffee cup I'll say "Isn't it amazing that hot chocolate looks like coffee?" then walk away - they don't need to know about my mocha-love. Or if confronted while buying a six-pack I'll say "Ah, I didn't know that you only buy things just for yourself. It must be very confusing when men buy tampons." ...then walk away.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I completely agree jens_hoes! I still have feelings and emotions pregnant or not! Don’t just assume they are related to the pregnancy.
My UO: I don’t understand why people purchase toddler beds. It’s only going to be used for a couple years, so they seem like such a waste of money to me when you could get a twin that will last them until they move out.
As for why we didn't skip the intermediate step and just go straight to the full: she was initially to little to climb up on it.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
It was nice because it was so small. DS moved pretty quickly to a bunk bed, but DD stayed in it for a while - and we kept her crib in the room because it gave us that option. That was super nice for naptimes.
Re: toddler beds, every crib I've bought converts into one, so may as well use the "free" toddler bed until they outgrow it, I assume? (Still haven't gotten to that stage yet with DD and obviously not with this LO either though, so I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we come to it?)
Now my UO, I totally understand why other women find this offensive and I totally believe it doesn't happen for everyone, but I will say that I think pregnancy brain is a completely real thing for me. It may not be for everyone, but I am forgetful to a point that I never approach when non pregnant. For example, just in the last week, I tried to pay for food with my zoo membership card, I left something on the top of my car and nearly drove away and, the scariest for me, I almost took an extra dose of my thyroid medication instead of my prenatals at lunch the other day! It always goes away a few months postpartum, but I swear it is a thing for me and I am not ashamed to admit it!
I never thought I’d buy one but when I saw this online I couldn’t pass it up!
Re: toddler beds, the crib we bought converts to toddler bed, so just a matter of taking off one side. I wouldn’t have bought a separate toddler bed otherwise. Though if I had a family member who likes to make furniture like @runrinserepeat I would be into whatever he or she made!
@maureenmce I walk a fine line with the “pregnancy brain” thing. I think that a lot of time it is an overused term, and used dismissively toward and by pregnant women, as though pregnancy equals brain damage.
On the other hand, there is reasonable evidence that pregnancy and new mothering does produce some changes in how our brains work. One theory about this is that our brains are undergoing changes to make us better attuned to and prepared to defend our children, and the process of those changes can result in measureable changes (declines) in attention and memory during pregnancy. See link below for more details.
There can be degree of forgetfulness and not attending to details that I’ve personally experienced while pregnant. Things that would never happen usually, like locking myself & the kid out of the house (resulting in some breaking & entering with my preschool accomplice).
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/does-pregnancy-brain-exist/
We're in a weird holding phase with the toddler bed and crib. DS will be 2 in September and still does great in his crib *knock on wood*. We're hoping to keep him there as long as possible because we're hoping to move to a 3 bedroom (we're in a 2 bedroom) not long after this one is born. In that case, he'd get a full (maaaaybe a twin depending on room size). If he starts to climb out of the crib before then, we may have to do a toddler bed, just because it's a little smaller and his room is small as it is. I'd really like to avoid a toddler bed if we can, but if we found a cheap one he adores, I'd do it.
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
DS was slower and definitely fell out of the bottom bunk once or twice, but he also spent much less time in the toddler bed.
The other half is how much mental/emotional energy you have to cope with and regulate your emotions. When you don’t feel good — if you’re in pain, nauseated, hungry, tired, thirsty etc. — you are already using up coping resources to deal with feeling physically.
Tl;dr: Yes hormones can dial up the intensity if emotional responses, and we have fewer resources for dialing down the emotions when we're already dealing with all the physical discomfort of pregnancy. But...that doesn’t mean there isn’t a valid reason you’re having emotions come up (at least most of the time).
The hormone excuse makes me crazy. Whenever I get worked up about something he blames the pregnancy hormones, which gets me even madder
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP