Might not help but I felt a smidge better the bigger I got last time. I know that’s backwards but I think once it’s like HERES MY BABY vs “fat or pregnant?” Or once the bump is so big it outshines my arm fat and huge legs/hips... then it felt a little better. Then you get so big and then it’s over? Trying to be encouraging but it’s not my strong suit
I can relate to how you're feeling, @galactickates. I'm self conscious about my weight generally, and even more so with the bump. In some clothes I definitely look pregnant, while others just make me look like I've gained weight (which I haven't, actually).
We were in Charleston SC for a long weekend recently, and I knew in advance that we might drop by the beach one afternoon. However, I didn't plan to swim. My stated reason was that I didn't want to buy a maternity swimsuit that I would only wear once, but self consciousness was a big part of it too.
We ended up going to the beach and walking in the sand/ shallow water for an hour. It would have been nice to swim (it was HOT), but I was more comfortable finding a different way to enjoy the beach that day.
Could you maybe go to the party and just not swim? You could still hang out with friends and put your feet in the water, without having to wear a swimsuit.
@AshVA I thought about that and how I could make it work but it's really hot here and I don't really want to sit in the sun but have my legs in the water while everyone else is splashing around. I'm just going to get peer pressured to get in and I don't even want to deal with it or make myself miserable.
galactickates Eww, why would someone have a pool party other than with family or SUPER close friends? It brings me back to middle school or even 5th grade, when I was already self conscious about my body. Just the thought makes me anxious haha. Get a cute cover up and wedges and leave it at that maybe?
@greenhillgirl we are really close. It's a group of 4 couples we do everything with. 3 are childhood friends of each other, my H has known them since college and I've known them almost 5 years (still don't want to get in a swim suit in front of them) And I have cute cover ups, I just don't want to sit in the hot sun by myself or even at the edge of the pool. It feels weird to me, while everyone else is swimming. I'm just going to stay home even though I can tell my H is sad I'm not going.
@molosmiles@galactickates@alexandraseattle I kind of love Nextdoor and reading it is like a guilty pleasure similar to watching the real housewives. It also makes me feel super normal or classy or whatever reading the drivel that some people argue over.
@galactickates oh man you are so not alone on the insecurities. I have avoided a bathing suit all summer (in Texas heat nonetheless) but I have a 3 day long bachelorette party this weekend at the lake with 17 other girls, only one of which has been pregnant before *but* she had twins exactly 12 months ago and is already roughly 110 lbs soaking wet so yeah.... none of my swimsuits fit and DH doesn't understand that even my bikinis don't fit since my boobs and my hips have grown more than my belly has at this point. I'm just hoping everyone else will stay drunk enough not to notice or judge me for sitting in the shade in a cover up
@galactickates I understand how you're feeling, and I don't blame you for staying home. DH and DS wanted to go swimming at the Y last week, and I agreed to go with them but didn't want to swim. It was so weird sitting by myself in my work clothes while they had fun. But I just wasn't comfortable enough to put on a bathing suit and join them. No thanks - should have stayed home.
@katethemom that's pretty much where i'm at, they just want to drink and swim, both of those things I don't want to do. Old me would have forced myself to go to make H happy and regret it after, I just don't feel like putting myself through that. My time and happiness is to valuable to me right now to force myself to do things I don't want to. You just confirmed that i'm making the right decision.
@galactickates and all the other ladies who chimed in on her post. I'm right there with all of you. My first pregnancy destroyed my legs (not that I had nice legs to look at pre pregnancy). All of my weight went to my thighs and legs. It disgusted me. The same thing is happening this pregnancy. It is, again, disgusting me. When I go for check ups, I ask the nurses to not tell me my weight. If the doctor has an issue with my weight, he/she will tell me. I'm trying to have faith in the fact that I lost all my weight with my first pregnancy. I'm hoping and praying I can do it again. My self esteem is definitely in the dumps right now.
No amount of sweet comments from DH help me with my body image. I've tried to keep in my mind that I'm growing a baby and what a miracle it is, and I should go easy on myself. The only approach that helps me is to eat a variety of healthy foods and to keep walking and doing yoga.
Re: MBF 8/13
Then you get so big and then it’s over? Trying to be encouraging but it’s not my strong suit
We were in Charleston SC for a long weekend recently, and I knew in advance that we might drop by the beach one afternoon. However, I didn't plan to swim. My stated reason was that I didn't want to buy a maternity swimsuit that I would only wear once, but self consciousness was a big part of it too.
We ended up going to the beach and walking in the sand/ shallow water for an hour. It would have been nice to swim (it was HOT), but I was more comfortable finding a different way to enjoy the beach that day.
Could you maybe go to the party and just not swim? You could still hang out with friends and put your feet in the water, without having to wear a swimsuit.
@galactickates oh man you are so not alone on the insecurities. I have avoided a bathing suit all summer (in Texas heat nonetheless) but I have a 3 day long bachelorette party this weekend at the lake with 17 other girls, only one of which has been pregnant before *but* she had twins exactly 12 months ago and is already roughly 110 lbs soaking wet so yeah....
none of my swimsuits fit and DH doesn't understand that even my bikinis don't fit since my boobs and my hips have grown more than my belly has at this point. I'm just hoping everyone else will stay drunk enough not to notice or judge me for sitting in the shade in a cover up
No amount of sweet comments from DH help me with my body image. I've tried to keep in my mind that I'm growing a baby and what a miracle it is, and I should go easy on myself. The only approach that helps me is to eat a variety of healthy foods and to keep walking and doing yoga.