I don't understand why bumpies that have never introduced themselves or otherwise interacted with our group want to show us their ultrasound photos. Maybe that makes me a mean girl, but I don't really care to see random pixelated fetuses unless they're inside someone that is interested in participating. Or they're having kittens. THAT would be worth seeing.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
This may be my own insecurities coming out but it makes me want to b*tchslap moms of babies (>1 year) who share holier-than-thou articles about why every baby should be eating all the foods, you just have to sit them at the dinner table and offer them a variety blah blah blah... love, mom of a sensory kid
@flyingmombula on the flipside, my UO: i can not stand the sour moms that post passive agressive memes/statuses about parenting like: "that face you make when someone gives unsolicited parenting advice" or the holier than thou facebook announcement: "friends & family: we are due to have our baby soon. please allow US the joy of announcing our baby's arrival. we've waited 9 months for this proud moment. we thank you ahead of time for not mentioning i'm in labor or that the baby is here until we've done so OURSELVES." -- like.... girl.... no one cares that much. fun fact: that is an actual meme that someone i follow shared. are we kidding!? *end rant*
@indigoheightsblog I think it's incredibly rude for someone to announce that the baby has been born before the parents get a chance to, unless they've asked them to. The fact that they have to even remind people of that is incredible. If someone was going around posting on fb that I'm pregnant when we haven't done it ourselves, I'd be pissed.
The memes, sure fine. I guess I can relate to a lot of them and it's an outlet for the annoyance I'm experiencing so I like 'em.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme omg totally i'd be LIVID - but no one has done this to her, nor do they care to... she is just the kind of mom who always has to be nasty and negative towards everyone. there is a specific type of mom that thinks everyone cares wayyy more than they actually do! that being said yes she shouldn't have to remind anyone - but she doesn't. LOL. she's just on the defensive because she's fueled by drama.
*EDIT* - I should add: This specific person has problems w/ her in-laws.... and she uses Facebook/Instagram as a "dear diary" where she passive aggressively vents out all her frustration. There's never a need for a dramatic Facebook announcement like that. Kindly and maturely ask your mother in law (in person) not to say or post anything. She is also the kind of person who says "how dare you post a photo of my kid without asking me" and then posts her own photos with Emojis over their faces. Why post the photo then? Don't post it at all if it's just going to be a toddler body and emoji head! Those kinds of people are constantly seeking attention for their frustrations and I think dragging your kids into it is super annoying. Hopefully that clarifies a bit LOL!
@meggyme@swanbrooner I can’t stand husband sap on social media! I really hate when women publicly praise their husbands for the littlest things. “My husband took out the trash AND changed the baby’s diaper once this month. I am so lucky!”
I recently saw a High School aquaintence post about how her husband gave up his plans to mow the lawn so she could go see her daughter perform at school. Really? That deserves a lengthy FB post about how amazing he is?
I hate gender reveals. Literally no one cares about the gender of your baby more than you, so celebrate it privately. And then sure, you can announce it, but without making it a huge deal where there's a pinterest cake involved and social media posts and other people have to pretend to be excited and buy you gifts. It's getting to be the same scale as a shower. I just don't get it. I'm also just not a real "announcement" kind of person in general, including pregnancy announcements, but that's more because I struggled with infertility and then a miscarriage for a while before this one.
*Sorry, I know there will probably be a lot of people on here doing one of these, I know they're really popular, and if that's for you, enjoy
Sorry if I make some enemies with this one but that's what the U/O board is for...If you announce you're pregnant on social media I might care. But as soon as you announce the gender and name of your baby-to-be? I'm done. Done caring. What is there left to be excited about for you if I already know everything before baby is born?
@babycolima12 it's even worse when the couple already knows what it is and they're just doing it for the attention. I've seen a couple of those, you can kind of tell by their reactions. Also not my thing, but I don't like being in the spotlight.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
There was some drama in J17 about reveals. I think she may have been in another BMB, but A mom was visibly pissed and bratty in her video because of sex disappointment. If you know there’s potential for you to behave that way, why would you agree to the hoopla and camera? Not a good look.
i'm totally with you on the "naming the baby before it's born" - that's super annoying. however, i will be doing a gender reveal get-together (pinterest cake included). that said, my job revolves around stuff like this so i kinda have to get the content or else i'm missing out on a big opportunity! we have an absolute no-gifts-policy and there will only be about 15 of our closest "people" present. i am probably one of the few people in here who actually enjoys gender reveals... i find myself watching them all the time when they pop up on my feed! something special about the anticipation. i think they're really cute and i always feel like i'm a small tiny "part" of someone's excitement.
*shrug* We had our girl name picked out before we knew it was a girl, so when we found out and were announcing our pregnancy on facebook, we called her by her name. Giving her a name helped me bond with her and made her feel like a real person and not just some alien blob inside me.
@HoneyBear40 are you team green? The same argument could be said of finding out the sex before the birth.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@indigoheightsblog I was thinking we might do one too! It would be an informal backyard bbq just to celebrate the new baby and find out the sex, also no gifts. I thought it would be fun.
@flyingmombula totally! they dont have to be "baby shower status". i have a huuuuuge family and a pretty big social circle so i know my shower will probably have 80 people just like my bridal shower did (no joke!!!) so having 15-20 people outdoors seems like nothing to me. @swanbrooner rattlesnake is amazing.... DH is calling ours Megatron.... oh god.... @meggyme now that you say it, i totally get the bonding aspect. personally i'm fickle and i'd be scared that i'd change my mind by the time i "saw" baby in person but hearing that perspective it def makes more sense.
What I don't get is the secrecy around the sex of the baby and the name before birth (with the exception of names when there's family who gives their UO without hesitation on the names that were chosen). We found out the first time, picked names and happily shared them before they were born. We'll all find out sooner or later so what's the big deal?
(We're team green this time, trying something new, so we'll all be surprised at the same time)
edit: this is for people who find out and then won't tell anyone
@purpleteacher82 Yes!!! I can't stand social media acting like their husband is a God for doing normal stuff he should already be doing! I'm always under my breath sayinf stfu...we all know you guys are so perfect. If they were, they wouldnl't have to always be praising them for the world to see.
I'm on the fence about gender reveal parties. I went to one not long ago, it was cute and short little party. I don't like to be center of attention, so not for me. My husband did sent a photo of little girl stuff to let his immediate family know we were expecting. So that's about as far as I'll probably go! Crap, I don't even know if I want a baby shower while feeling / looking like shamu
@meggyme I'm new on this board, but I agree about the drive-by US pics! Like who are you showing us your uterus? lol
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@BuckeyeNut05 I know someone whose husband found out but kept telling me "I'm not ready to know yet." Like, what are you waiting for? If you're not going to do it together then why bother?
I'm hoping to have a boy name picked out by the time we have the ultrasound so that we can give our baby a name as soon as we find out the sex. We already have a girl name.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I strongly dislike gender revel parties that are hung blow outs/ end up being an early baby shower. I don't think I actually been to one where one parent wasn't disappointed in the photos.. My bestie actually got her sister to do an ultra sound to get a "better picture" and sister told her it was a girl before the party. She went on a shopping spree for all girl stuff. Blood test said it was a boy. She was livid in all her pictures. It was so beyond uncomfortable when her hubby found out why she thought it was a girl. Needless to say everyone left after that.
My UO is I dont understand the rushing though pregnancy stuff. Early blood test just for gender reveal, being asked by family members if I'm already registered ( WTF I'm 10 weeks), what names we have nailed down, when do we want to have the baby shower....My list goes on and on.
Count me as disliking gender reveals. I have a friend who had two boys and was really wanting a girl. They had a reveal, and it was a boy. In telling me about it later (I wasn't there), she said it was awkward because when the blue cake or confetti or whatever (don't remember) was exposed, apparently there was an awkward silence for a second. A lot of the people there knew she wanted a girl, so it was this awkward moment where people didn't know what to say. And she was apparently visibly disappointed for a sec. I didn't tell her this, but WHY!? WHY would you do that when you are specifically wanting one gender, and you know it's a 50/50 shot?!
We don't have a lot of prolific social media users in my family, which is nice. We only told our parents when my water broke. The next day, we called and then sent an email to our family and friends with pictures and a few details. I did put a note at the bottom to please not post on social media until we did, but no memes all over everywhere. If I had the type of family to do that, I'd just not tell them stuff!
Re- sharing name. We don't share names before the ink is dry on the birth certificate. We don't want negative comments on our choice. I doubt we'd get a lot, but you never know.
AFM, I'll have a controversial one. I hate this style of newborn photography. I find it so weird. And I hate the over-the-top photoshop. I prefer lifestyle/photojournalistic newborn photography.
I like watching the creative gender reveals on YouTube. We didn’t do a party though and probably will not for this one. I have to know right away at that 20 week scan. Waiting is not my strong suit.
Praisng DH publicity for little shit all the time is annoying as hell. A very occasional (like once a year) shout out of hey I love this guy doesn’t bug me becuase I know it can be a good feeling to be acknowledged. And the little things do add up and matter.
I do love seeing pictures of my friends kids and adventures . It’s the only reason I have a Facebook and honestly isn’t that the reason it was created? I get so annoyed that my feed is cluttered with advertising and politics and videos and crap now.
We announced the name at 20 weeks. Didn’t think twice about it.
I LOVE mom memes, all of them. They are relatable and hilarious. Although I haven’t seen any new ones in a while so they feel a little worn out.
Random US AW are annoying especially the twin ones. I was going to update the spreadsheet to flag our twin moms and not a SINGLE one of them were on the spreadsheet. I feel like they just drop by to brag about their super Ute and leave.
@meggyme I hate when people know the gender and still do a reveal. But worst of all is when the couple knows the gender but doesn’t tell anyone else until the baby is born. So. Annoying. Nobody else cares what you’re having that much!
Completely agree on the anti-gender reveal sentiment. To me, it feels very 'look at me' and comes across as a desperate attention grab. And gender disappointment can be very real for some people. My coworker said she actually cried when they told her it was a boy at her US - she wanted a girl so badly, and she planned to be one and done. After he was born she came around, but still - can't imagine how awkward that gender reveal would have been had she had one.
Social media - dislike. I stopped using social media a few years ago and don't miss it. Most of it was too narcissistic anyway - people love to brag about their families, their vacations, ect, ect. All very fake, because we only see the 'good' people want us to see. I have also noticed I have way more time on my hands without it.
@lovesclimbing totally agree about the staged newborn photos! Although I generally don't like any staged photos, I think they're so much better when they're natural. I mean I like a good family photo at a nice spot, but when there's a photoshoot and so much is staged and there's like 12 different versions of the same photo and everyone has an awkward plastered smile... I just prefer the natural, spur of the moment ones. They always look so much happier and less fake.
@kimbaby2due SO annoying! My sister did that, and that's exactly how it felt.
@lovesclimbing oh my gosh, I thought it was just me who thought those overly staged newborn photos are more awkward than they are adorable. I'd much rather see natural looking photos that feel authentic.
I also really don't like baby shower cakes that are shaped like a baby or pregnant belly. Um, we are going to be literally cutting into that and I don't like the imagery that creates.
For how much some women spend on NB photos, they better be over the top and perfect photos in my opinion.
*TW with my unpopular opinion* I loved our daughter's over the top reveal. Especially since that was the only time our family and friends were able to celebrate her before she passed away. Everyone who came was excited to celebrate her and that is exactly what we were doing when we announced we were having a little girl. My son loved getting to tell people he was going to have a baby sister. I also liked the fact that I didn't need to call a bunch of people and tell them the same news over and over again.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
I wouldnt have a real gender reveal party, but I might have a small get together to announce to my immediate family. We kinda attempted that last time. My mom bought both pink and blue cupcakes, but DD didn't show her girl parts during the anatomy scan. So it turned into, "it might be a girl" get together.
@meggyme Yeah, team green over here. I try to understand both sides of finding and not finding out. We were team green for my daughter and everyone swore the entire time I was pregnant that baby was a boy so DH had himself convinced it was true. The look on his face in the delivery room when she came out is something I'll never forget.
My BFF found out what she was having and then did a gender reveal at 35 weeks, it still makes me shake my head because at that point what was the point of telling everyone? And then there's the coworker whose husband knew but she didn't want to know and said that was his way of bonding with the baby? Really?
I'm a little surprised at all the distaste for gender reveal parties. I think all the anticipation, excitement, and surprise makes them much more palatable than baby showers, personally. Bridal and baby showers are super boring to me and it bugs me that men are excused from this suffering, lol. I don't plan to have a gender reveal party but I also hate being the center of attention.
As someone whose really not into gender stereotypes I kinda loathe gender reveals, just because we know what genitalia the baby has doesn’t mean we know anything about who they are, what they will like, who they will like, and really what, if any, gender they will be. So to me it’s all too much. But like I don’t hate people who do it nor am I rude to them or anything like that, I just wish we didn’t make so many assumptions about our little people based on what’s between their legs.
@mayoduck we invited men and women to our baby shower, and it was an open house with food and drinks for people to stop by and visit, it was basically a free brunch
I don't like gender stereotypes either and almost don't want family to know the gender for fear they would get really stereotypical items (like princess stuff, gag!). I'd still love to know the sex of my child because I'd love to know anything I can about them no matter how irrelevant to their life. If I could find out eye color and whether or not their earlobes will be attached or anything at all before I get to meet them personally, I'd do it (provided getting that information was doable at no risk to baby, of course)!
Re: UO 8/2
love, mom of a sensory kid
The memes, sure fine. I guess I can relate to a lot of them and it's an outlet for the annoyance I'm experiencing so I like 'em.
*EDIT* - I should add: This specific person has problems w/ her in-laws.... and she uses Facebook/Instagram as a "dear diary" where she passive aggressively vents out all her frustration. There's never a need for a dramatic Facebook announcement like that. Kindly and maturely ask your mother in law (in person) not to say or post anything. She is also the kind of person who says "how dare you post a photo of my kid without asking me" and then posts her own photos with Emojis over their faces. Why post the photo then? Don't post it at all if it's just going to be a toddler body and emoji head! Those kinds of people are constantly seeking attention for their frustrations and I think dragging your kids into it is super annoying. Hopefully that clarifies a bit LOL!
I recently saw a High School aquaintence post about how her husband gave up his plans to mow the lawn so she could go see her daughter perform at school. Really? That deserves a lengthy FB post about how amazing he is?
I guess this this is hot topic for me.
I'm also just not a real "announcement" kind of person in general, including pregnancy announcements, but that's more because I struggled with infertility and then a miscarriage for a while before this one.
*Sorry, I know there will probably be a lot of people on here doing one of these, I know they're really popular, and if that's for you, enjoy
Sorry if I make some enemies with this one but that's what the U/O board is for...If you announce you're pregnant on social media I might care. But as soon as you announce the gender and name of your baby-to-be? I'm done. Done caring. What is there left to be excited about for you if I already know everything before baby is born?
@HoneyBear40 are you team green? The same argument could be said of finding out the sex before the birth.
(We're team green this time, trying something new, so we'll all be surprised at the same time)
edit: this is for people who find out and then won't tell anyone
I'm on the fence about gender reveal parties. I went to one not long ago, it was cute and short little party. I don't like to be center of attention, so not for me. My husband did sent a photo of little girl stuff to let his immediate family know we were expecting. So that's about as far as I'll probably go! Crap, I don't even know if I want a baby shower while feeling / looking like shamu
@meggyme I'm new on this board, but I agree about the drive-by US pics! Like who are you showing us your uterus? lol
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
I'm hoping to have a boy name picked out by the time we have the ultrasound so that we can give our baby a name as soon as we find out the sex. We already have a girl name.
My UO is I dont understand the rushing though pregnancy stuff. Early blood test just for gender reveal, being asked by family members if I'm already registered ( WTF I'm 10 weeks), what names we have nailed down, when do we want to have the baby shower....My list goes on and on.
We don't have a lot of prolific social media users in my family, which is nice. We only told our parents when my water broke. The next day, we called and then sent an email to our family and friends with pictures and a few details. I did put a note at the bottom to please not post on social media until we did, but no memes all over everywhere. If I had the type of family to do that, I'd just not tell them stuff!
Re- sharing name. We don't share names before the ink is dry on the birth certificate. We don't want negative comments on our choice. I doubt we'd get a lot, but you never know.
AFM, I'll have a controversial one. I hate this style of newborn photography. I find it so weird. And I hate the over-the-top photoshop. I prefer lifestyle/photojournalistic newborn photography.
Praisng DH publicity for little shit all the time is annoying as hell. A very occasional (like once a year) shout out of hey I love this guy doesn’t bug me becuase I know it can be a good feeling to be acknowledged. And the little things do add up and matter.
I do love seeing pictures of my friends kids and adventures . It’s the only reason I have a Facebook and honestly isn’t that the reason it was created? I get so annoyed that my feed is cluttered with advertising and politics and videos and crap now.
We announced the name at 20 weeks. Didn’t think twice about it.
I LOVE mom memes, all of them. They are relatable and hilarious. Although I haven’t seen any new ones in a while so they feel a little worn out.
Random US AW are annoying especially the twin ones. I was going to update the spreadsheet to flag our twin moms and not a SINGLE one of them were on the spreadsheet. I feel like they just drop by to brag about their super Ute and leave.
My UO:
Can’t think of one. I’ll get back to you.
Completely agree on the anti-gender reveal sentiment. To me, it feels very 'look at me' and comes across as a desperate attention grab. And gender disappointment can be very real for some people. My coworker said she actually cried when they told her it was a boy at her US - she wanted a girl so badly, and she planned to be one and done. After he was born she came around, but still - can't imagine how awkward that gender reveal would have been had she had one.
Social media - dislike. I stopped using social media a few years ago and don't miss it. Most of it was too narcissistic anyway - people love to brag about their families, their vacations, ect, ect. All very fake, because we only see the 'good' people want us to see. I have also noticed I have way more time on my hands without it.
@kimbaby2due SO annoying! My sister did that, and that's exactly how it felt.
I also really don't like baby shower cakes that are shaped like a baby or pregnant belly. Um, we are going to be literally cutting into that and I don't like the imagery that creates.
*TW with my unpopular opinion* I loved our daughter's over the top reveal. Especially since that was the only time our family and friends were able to celebrate her before she passed away. Everyone who came was excited to celebrate her and that is exactly what we were doing when we announced we were having a little girl. My son loved getting to tell people he was going to have a baby sister. I also liked the fact that I didn't need to call a bunch of people and tell them the same news over and over again.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
@meggyme Yeah, team green over here. I try to understand both sides of finding and not finding out. We were team green for my daughter and everyone swore the entire time I was pregnant that baby was a boy so DH had himself convinced it was true. The look on his face in the delivery room when she came out is something I'll never forget.
My BFF found out what she was having and then did a gender reveal at 35 weeks, it still makes me shake my head because at that point what was the point of telling everyone? And then there's the coworker whose husband knew but she didn't want to know and said that was his way of bonding with the baby? Really?
I don't like gender stereotypes either and almost don't want family to know the gender for fear they would get really stereotypical items (like princess stuff, gag!). I'd still love to know the sex of my child because I'd love to know anything I can about them no matter how irrelevant to their life. If I could find out eye color and whether or not their earlobes will be attached or anything at all before I get to meet them personally, I'd do it (provided getting that information was doable at no risk to baby, of course)!