Hello and Intro TW

ruby696 · July 2018

Hi everyone, I guess I go here now. I just had my second MMC at 7 weeks. It's been two weeks and nothing, so D&C Friday. I thought my first MMC four years ago was a fluke; same with the CP I had 8 months ago. Now I'm wondering if maybe it's just too late. I'm 37 and we decided this would be my last pregnancy regardless of the outcome. Of course now that it's ended, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to throw in the towel. Which tells me I'll probably try again. Anyway, thanks for reading and I look forward to getting to know you all.

ETA: words

dpjennifer · July 2018

ruby696 Sorry for your losses. I know it's probably too early for you to know, but are you considering going to an RE for RPL testing if you do decide to try again?

mwmiller4 · July 2018

@ruby696 I’m so very sorry for your losses. I’m also 37 and also have the is it too late/Are we really done? debate. I’m so sorry you’re going through this

breezymariezy87 · July 2018

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had more encouraging words to say - I just know this has got to be hard for you. Sending you big hugs!

justarius · July 2018

I’m so sorry for your losses. The pain is so unbearable but I hope you can take the time you need to grieve and feel all the feels. Thinking of you ❤️

ruby696 · July 2018

Thank you all. This crap just does not get any easier. @dpjennifer I'm not sure about an RE. It seems like such a big step. I'm self benching for a few months to get some clarity and then we'll decide how we want to proceed.

*TW* I am so fortunate to have two living children. Part of me feels like I need to just get over this and appreciate what I have. And I think my husband is pretty much already at that point, although he will support whatever I decide. *End TW*

I just found out my mom has hypothyroidism, so I'm going to get a blood test. I do have some symptoms, so it's possible. However, my betas continued to climb even after the loss was confirmed, so I feel like it's more of an egg quality/chromosomal issue. I am completely unqualified to have that opinion, but it makes sense to me. @mwmiller4 37 doesn't feel old, but I guess maybe our eggs don't agree?

Anyway, thanks again. None of my RL friends can relate, so it's nice to talk to people who understand.

Mack2342 · July 2018

I’m sorry for your losses. Take time to heal. You will know when and if ready to try again. I was 39 the first time I got pregnant and delivered my son at 40. I have since suffered 3 losses. We did seek at RE in hopes to find some answers and assist us. For me it is more egg quality than anything. I also had genetic testing done with my last MC for some clarity. I too thought I would be done after my last MC but we are giving it a few more months and then will be done as I’m now 43. Hang in there and do what’s right for you and your family. This is an amazing group of women.

coco2787 · July 2018

I'm so sorry for your losses. Have you seen an RE for recurrent pregnancy loss? Egg quality isn't something that can be directly tested, but after 3 losses it's a good idea to get a full RPL work up if you plan to try again, thyroid testing is a standard part of that panel.

ruby696 · July 2018

@coco2787 I'm going to discuss an RE with my doctor during my two week post-D&C appt. It's not something I ever thought I'd do, but I think I need some answers before we decide whether it's worth it to try again. I'm not sure if my doctor considers my chemical a true pregnancy since my hcg was already at 1 when I saw her. We'll see I guess.

bakerstreetboys · July 2018

I'm sorry you find yourself here. It can't hurt to get some testing done before deciding whether or not to try again.

coco2787 · July 2018

@ruby696 the standard for RPL used to be 3 losses, but the current standard of practice is to do RPL testing after two clinically verified pregnancies. So even if the CP doesn't "count" your insurance will most likely cover recurrent loss testing. Keep in mind that in about 50% of cases the only diagnosis you get is "unexplained".

dpjennifer · July 2018

ruby696 I agree with bakerstreetboys about the testing. If you're considering trying again, with 3 losses, insurance should cover part of it at least. This way, even as coco2787 said where 50-75% of RPL is unexplained, at least you could rule out the explained parts. If something came up from your testing, it could help you make a more informed decision. It could be something easy to fix. Or it could be something that may not be easily fixed and your ability to have a bio baby is extremely low. IF nothing appeared and you are stuck in the unexplained RPL realm, you would at least have more information going forward. You would know there are no answers and it'd be a crapshoot to continue on.

chloe97 · July 2018

@ruby696 I had 2 losses at 36 and had RPL testing. After what seemed like 100 bloodtests and other procedures, the only thing the RE found was subclinical hypothyroid (my mom also has thyroid issues). Most physicians, including a lot of OB/Gyn) do not adhere to the new guidelines about TSH levels. After we got my TSH from the high 3s into the 1s, I had my rainbow. Since I have been using thyroid meds, a lot of the other small symptoms I had (constipation, fatigue, malaise) have gotten better.

ruby696 · July 2018

@dpjennifer, @bakerstreetboys, @coco2788, and @chloe97 Thanks ladies, you're right. I feel like I have a lot of minor symptoms that point to my thyroid. If I can get it under control, then I would be a lot more comfortable trying again. Miscarriages are just really shitty and I'm afraid to have another one; I hate feeling so sad and powerless. Then again, *TW* I became pregnant with my son my first ovulatory cycle after my first MMC, so part of me thinks we shouldn't wait too long to try again if we are going to do this. *End TW* I definitely need to wait for a couple months just to get my head in the right place and to let my body heal.

denma2015 · July 2018

I got a call from my OB today with results of the fetal genetic testing. Our baby had Trisomy 22 which is totally incompatible with life. In a way it made me feel a little better. This was just nature’s error and although we’ve had 2 MC it probably won’t happen again... FX. I know I will worry about any future baby if we get that lucky again.

praying4no2 · August 2018

Hi ladies, I'm new and so sorry to hear of your losses. I've had 3 myself (and 1 son.) But on the age thing... everyone is different of course, but as long as you are having regular cycles it is possible to get pregnant. Obviously you will want to go through GOOD RPL testing and GOOD thyroid testing (more on that in a hot second when I post my intro) and correct any discovered deficiencies. My pregnancies were at age 41 (3 of the 4) and the most recent at 45. Just want to give you all hope if you were feeling "too old" to conceive.

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