Things people say to new Mothers

gingerbride26 · July 2018

zande2016 · July 2018

Yesss this is needed. I still can’t get over how many people acted like I was some horrible mother for taking my week old baby out for a walk in the stroller today, OUTSIDE, as if the fresh air was infected with germs or something. And of course the woman who said my baby must be premature. It’s like when it comes to pregnant women and babies, people completely lose whatever filter they may have had.

kmac103 · July 2018

Oh this is perfect for something I was told yesterday.

”There is ideal parenting and then real life parenting. You should stop trying to be an ideal parent now because two kids is a different ball game.”

This was said to me by the pediatrition when I mentioned that we limit my 2.5 year old’s screen time to once every couple days. One week PP me was about to tell her where she could stick her theory, but in the end, I decided I would rather ignore her and keep doing my thing.

stillcozy · July 2018

"Mother's these days are just attention seeking if they breastfeed without covers, no one needs to see that. We were classy and modest and covered up"

Real comment after two moms in a town over were asked to leave a pool for refusing to cover while breastfeeding (which is a protected right under state law)

ashbub714 · July 2018

I’m already tired of hearing “sleep when he sleeps”. I’m freaking trying! Easier said than done when I have to suddenly wake up out of a dead sleep and feed a crying baby.

wildtot · July 2018

I’ve been trying to feel confident with public nursing and while I haven’t had any comments but I’ve been trying to avoid the awkward eye contact with people passing by. At least some of them actually smile and it makes me feel better.

runsomewhere · July 2018

Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one. I try not to get huffy at every dumb comment or piece of “advice.” People often mean well.

BUT if someone says something especially obnoxious or intended to be judgy I look at them funny, chuckle and say “omg no one has believed that in ages.”

This usually makes makes the person feel dated and stupid.

Also a favorite response of mine to “that’s how we did it back in my day” is “there are a lot of things people did and thought back in in the day that we’ve thankfully moved on from.”

But like I said I save the bitchy responses for people who are trying to be rude.

morethanamama · July 2018

I had to tell someone 3 times that yes my baby is (almost) 3 weeks old. They made a comment that I shouldn't try to lose weight now. WTF. I'm not TRYING to lose weight. I didn't gain a ton so I lost almost all of it. And yes my loose t-shirt is hiding my belly pooch. I guess we're not done with the comments on appearance even when not pregnant ugh!

11dematosk · July 2018

Shouldn’t he be wearing a hat...even though it’s 90 degrees outside

TalesOfASocialIntrovert · July 2018

"He's just so much smaller than I thought he'd be." Multiple times. Dude, he was 8 lbs 10 oz at birth and over 9.5 lbs now. He is still and infant which is intended to be birth by the human body. Turns out they come pretty small...

SmashJam · July 2018

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert I think this in my head sometimes but never say it out loud. I met a 4 week old infant the other day who was 9.5 lbs and she was SO SMALL. Then I look at all the "Memories" pics on Facebook and see pictures of my son-who was 9lbs 5oz at birth and even after weight loss still close to that weight in the pics-and think how small he looks.

acunamatada · July 2018

“She looks like a girl. I can tell she’s a girl. I can tell by her whole demeanor, she’s such a girl- not like DS. I can tell” -MIL... Every time she holds DD. Every. Time. IRL she sounds like an 8yo on drugs.

For the record she doesnt look like a girl, she looks like an adorable potato, just like all newborns. She looked almost exactly like DS when she was born.

hayhay93 · July 2018

Every time I see a particular co-worker of mine she makes comments like "you didn't bring a blanket?" It's 100 degrees in Central California... so judgy. Another person told me that since I never went into labor, that I didn't really have him. Haha, what?

hillbillywife · July 2018

@hayhay93 how would that even work? Lol... people. (Eyeroll)

crabcake18 · July 2018

I was asked if the whole nicu experience was a blur to me yet. My babies haven’t even been home one month yet; poor DS still worries we’re leaving when people come over (if they would watch him for us). Not sure when it will fade, or if and that’s ok, (other than DS being worried) it was a big experience!

Arent you glad glad you got that whole birth thing over with already?’ (The week of my due date). Yeah not really I wish they hadn’t had to come so early.

I asked my pedi how they give twins shots, and told him when one cries the other starts. I feel badly that the second twin will already be tense when they get their shots this way which seems like it’ll cause more pain. He said ‘we have three sets of twins right now we know what we’re doing’ and laughs. Ok cool.

My mom ‘wow your belly has really gone down since I last saw you’. The body comments drive me insane, how unfair to any pregnant/pp woman, sigh.

This is one is cute to me- a child knew I had babies and saw a picture of them. Then they turned to their mom and said ‘she’s got another one in there still’ it made me laugh!

hillbillywife · July 2018

“Look at all his HAIR!” Ive never really known how to respond to this one. All 3 of my kids have had lots of hair. And we get that everywhere we go.

noideawhatshesdoing · July 2018

@hayhay93 my ex SIL had an emergency c section when she had her daughter, her sister said the same thing to her about labor. Makes me wonder if there are two stupid people out there or if the same person said it to you, she lives in central California...

nimmle · July 2018

@hillbillywife I usually give that one. But also all the babies in my family come out completely bald. My Niece is almost 2 and still follically challenged.

acunamatada · July 2018

I hate the body comments.
Ive gotten so many “wow you’ve lost so much weight already!”
When I’ve actually lost 9lbs... and the baby weighed 7 (not sure how that’s possible??)
So no, I haven’t actually lost weight but thanks for bringing it up

zande2016 · July 2018

@acunamatada same, and I’ve actually lost 5 pounds...but baby was close to 8...so Basically I’ve gained weight when you account for the baby.

wildtot · July 2018

@acunamatada i went in to labor at 153 and at a week pp i had only lost 3-4 lbs and baby was at least 7 lbs. I guess it was all that room service hospital food.

Eta So so far everyone has been nice enough to not comment on my weight but I’ve been kinda hard on myself. I’ve been comparing to how I lost it with DS and things seem to be slower this time around. I look better naked than i do with clothes. It’s been hard to find clothes that won’t rub in my incision and not look like an overly stuffed tamale. But i keep trying to remind myself it’s only been a few weeks and still recovering.

morethanamama · July 2018

I mentioned the weight comment as I got it too. For me it's a bit annoying because I was very active before and during pregnancy and people are assuming that I somehow worked out or put myself on a diet 3 weeks pp...I lost 15 lbs but literslli eating everything in sight every body is different, people!!!

SmashJam · July 2018

I am always hesitant to comment on how great women look no matter HOW long its been since their baby. @wildtot it was definitely slower to come off with #2 for me, I thought it was just because I had gotten older. I got rid of everything super fast with DS and with DD 8 weeks later when I was cleared to work out I still had 5 or 6 lbs to go and had to actually exercise and watch what I ate to lose it. I had to give myself a lot of grace.

AlwaysMrsS · July 2018

Of all people to make a stupid comment: this morning as I was getting ready to take LO to the pediatrician, DH looks at me and says, “You’re belly went down a lot faster with both girls. Is there anything you can do?”
kick you in the balls!? I’m only 5 days pp!

SmashJam · July 2018

@AlwaysMrsS I would kick him in the balls as well! You've just had a baby (sounds like your third, no less) what is he thinking!

cseley321 · July 2018

I had MAJOR swelling this pregnancy. I gained 50 lbs total and lost 20 lbs within the first week PP. This helped me feel better that my extra weight gain may have been due to a bunch of extra swelling instead of how I was eating. Anyway, I was bragging to my husband and his response was "well, you still have a ways to go. What was your weight before getting pregnant?" Yeah.... jerk, lol. Like a day later he was trying to compliment me. Too late now

wildtot · July 2018

H the other day... When are we gonna sex it up again?
um are you serious?

zande2016 · July 2018

@wildtot I can’t even think about sex right now, and my recovery hasn’t even been that bad, but still, I want nothing to do with that area. I was so shocked when I was lurking what to expect the other day and there was a thread about sex...so many women were saying they did it at 1 or 2 weeks postpartum! Whattttt.

kbernal2021 · July 2018

@zande2016 whattttt?! Between 24/7 nursing, exhaustion of caring for a newborn (and some with other children) PLUS recovery.. im over here like HOW?!

morethanamama · July 2018

@zande2016 sorry but GROSS!!! Even with a good recovery there's all kinds of stuff coming out...ew.

moguippy · July 2018

FFC.. I had a sex dream last night... but that’s about as close as anyone is getting to any action around here lol

millpe · July 2018

So not gonna lie (maybe this would be a FFWC), I miss sex. We haven't done any.. um.. penatratrion because of infection risk, but we've definitely been fooling around. It actually helped my confidence in my PP body knowing DH still wanted me after the whole birth.

wildtot · July 2018

After DS it took me like 10 months have sex again but i think it was mostly due to ppd. Still the last thing on my mind right now and definitely not with this bleeding (gross!). I just don’t want to be touched sometimes.

kmac103 · July 2018

I just love when the nurses are telling you what to do before discharge and they say no sex. Like, I literally just had a human being come out of there, I promise you don’t have to tell me to abstain from sex lol I can’t imagine potentially getting pregnant 1 week PP. Omg how crazy would that be?!

knottie9f2468e8835387e9 · July 2018

I had severe preclampsia and so lots of crazy swelling so I've lost over 40 lbs really fast and even though I feel a confidence boost it's opened the door for literally everyone to talk about my body. My friend literally went on and on "oh my godddd look how skinny you are! No one gets their body back that quick wow! You must be so happy" sooo awkward feeling like sure I've deflated but I've still got the flap hanging over my incision and I'm covered in stretch marks (arms, thighs, stomach, hips) so I'm not really looking to discuss my body lol

Side note though, baby wearing is both fantastic and bizarre as far as social interactions go. People can't easily touch/see him so I have more control to limit germ exposure but people constantly ask me "do you have a baby in there???" And they can see the top/back of his head sticking out the top. I've really got to work on toning down the sarcasm when I respond. Also a 10 year old girl behind me in the grocery line asked me if she could "see his eyes" and it was really horror movie sketchy lmao

crabcake18 · July 2018

With the twins, people were always telling me I would need so much help once they were here. Now that they are, I like to do things on my own and people seem surprised (it’s so much easier to have my boobs out instead of covering up when bfing! I won’t free boob it with ppl here). I get a lot of ‘how do you do it’ and I don’t really know how to answer.

KatyF0813 · July 2018

@crabcake18 - answer with "topless, usually topless" that should shut them up!

elizabethrn87 · July 2018

My MiL told my husband today to not hold the baby every time she naps because we are creating a problem for the future like with DD. She is 5 days old- we are going to cuddle our baby.

SmashJam · July 2018

@crabcake18 I was going to say you should tell them you do it because you have to, but I like @KatyF0813 's answer better.

noideawhatshesdoing · July 2018

@KatyF0813 best answer ever!

gingerbride26 · July 2018

MIL 2 days after c section: "i can't believe how good you look. I did not expect you to be doing this well. " Um thanks...

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