@chicandbubbly I had an epidural and obviously you can't get up but I was allowed to move gingerly. You get a catheter too fyi. I had to lay on my side most of the time because the medicine only went to one side of my body, and laying on my side helped it seep to the other side. That is until baby started to distress and they realized the cord was around her neck and laying on my side cut off her circulation. So I was stuck on my back with pain on one side and they couldn't help me. Then it wore off before pushing anyway. What a waste.
@ashh2018 - I think that knowing all of your options, from coping techniques before/without medication to the various medications available to you, will be helpful. That can help you feel more in control, which is a helpful tool against anxiety. And have a backup plan no matter which way you're leaning. You never know how things will actually go, so be mentally prepared. If that means having 4 detailed plans, write out 4 detailed plans (don't give those all to your doctor, though!) If that means having a rough idea of what you'd prefer and then an attitude of just figuring things out as they happen, do that.
I think that having a doula might be really helpful for you, too. If you can, interview a few and find someone who's totally on board with helping you cope with whatever methods you are comfortable with. They can advocate for you, they've been through this with other women a bunch of times, they'll have some good ideas that you maybe won't think of or won't remember in the moment, and they can help your SO help you, too. And be sure to go over things with your doctor. Tell them that you're having some anxiety about it and ask them as many questions as you need to. My OB is available by email as well, which is helpful when we have a shorter visit and I don't feel comfortable taking a ton of time asking questions, but maybe you can just start talking over a few things at a time, and repeating them as necessary. You could start now/soon or wait until 3rd tri or whatever seems good to you.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
I've read a couple posts that talk about getting a catheter with an epidural. I think that varies by hospital and likely how long you are on the epidural. I don't remember having one.
I've read a couple posts that talk about getting a catheter with an epidural. I think that varies by hospital and likely how long you are on the epidural. I don't remember having one.
I think it’s pretty common because if you can’t feel what’s going on below the waist, you can’t hold the pee and they don’t want you wetting yourself and the bed the whole time you’re there. If they hadn’t told me what they were doing, I would have had no idea they were putting it in as I was totally numb. I could feel it coming out though since my epidural stopped working. Although by that point I was in so much pain from delivery, it was barely noticeable.
@EErin86 that may be true. Typically with the epidural you can't get up to go to the bathroom and/or you can't feel when you need to pee, so that's why the catheter is placed. Maybe if it's for a short enough time period you're less likely to have to pee until after birth?
@EErin86 - I had a catheter but they didn't leave it in. The nurse cath'd me a few times to empty my bladder but it was taken out once it was empty.
This is what I vaguely remember as well. Although I think later on when it became more obvious that I'd be there a while they put a catheter in and left it.
@EErin86 - I had a catheter but they didn't leave it in. The nurse cath'd me a few times to empty my bladder but it was taken out once it was empty.
This is what I vaguely remember as well. Although I think later on when it became more obvious that I'd be there a while they put a catheter in and left it.
I also believe if there's any sign of swelling they'll leave it in, because swelling can happen and could make it impossible to cath you later.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks DS born 9/13/16 BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
I know visitors can apply to unmedicated births too, but the location and set up of unmedicated births is often outside the hospital and a little different expectations from others on visitation.
S+TM Who was in the room when you delivered last time?
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one?
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors?
S+TM Who was in the room when you delivered last time? Just DH, delivery nurses, NICU team (probably around 6-8 nurses/Dr. waiting to see if they were needed), and my Dr.
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one? Same! Though obviously I hope to have less nurses. DD wasn't rebounding through contractions, so it caused even more anxiety watching them all watching the HB monitor of DD.
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors? No, DH's family is a few hours away so I don't expect they will make the trip until after she is born. My family will just wait until we tell them....last time my Dad dropped coffee and breakfast for Dh and I, and that was lovely. She was born at around 4am, and my Dad just drove up with food then came back for a visit later.
I will say I wish we had stopped people from coming to our house so soon after we got home or made firm limits there. One of my BFF's was nice enough to drive 1.5 hours to see us, but they stayed for HOURS. It was way too long given my emotional and physical state.
How has your family taken your requests? Everyone is fine. We are lucky!
My H was the only one in the room when I delivered. I made this well known to both my parents and my in-laws and they had no problem with this at all.
Afterward I wanted more time than what I had before allowing my parents to visit but it was late and I didn't really want to make them wait to visit until the next day. We will see what time of day this one is born and go from there, ideally I'd like at least a couple hours by ourselves before anyone coming. But they also brought food and that was greatly desired since I was STARVING.
I tried to limit visitors while I stayed in the hospital but caved with one of my husbands aunt and cousin who wanted to come. This time I won't cave and ask that only two people come at a time and still limit to just my parents and in-laws. I hate being in hospitals and don't sleep well anyway, and with a newborn sleep definitely doesn't happen. I will also limit visitors for a while once we're home, I got so overwhelmed so easily last time. As a FTM, I had no clue what I was doing but felt like I should know and it was just hard to try to find my own way through the tough beginning stages with a lot of people around.
I don't think that either my in-laws or my parents really liked that I limited who came over once we were home but I didn't care. I also don't think my H understood why I didn't want people around beforehand but once we were home and having trouble breastfeeding breastfeeding and lack of sleep, he got it quickly.
I know visitors can apply to unmedicated births too, but the location and set up of unmedicated births is often outside the hospital and a little different expectations from others on visitation.
S+TM Who was in the room when you delivered last time?
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one?
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors?
How has your family taken your requests?
Last time it was just DH and the medical staff in the room when I delivered. This time will be the same. My parent came as soon as I was admitted to the hospital and stayed in the room with us while I was in labor but left for the waiting room when I started pushing. They came back right after baby was born which I was fine with. I think. I don’t really remember the first few hours all that well. This time around my parents will be watching DS while I’m in the hospital, so visiting will depend on what time baby is born. They’re the only ones that live within a 4 hour drive so I don’t expect any other family to visit at the hospital. Two cousins have been talking about coming to see us/my parents in August. One couple I already told that they need to come in early August so it’s well before baby is due. The other cousin I like a lot more so I would be fine if baby came early and she was here when I went into labor and came to the hospital. So far there have been no complaints, but they haven’t set dates yet either. Friends will come once we’re settled at home. As long as they bring food and don’t mind if I excuse myself to go nurse/sleep I’m fine with visitors at home. Our friends are all pretty low key so it wasn’t an issue last time.
With DD, my mom and MIL were in the room. If DH hadn't been across the country at the time, I would have wanted just him. Though, I really don't think I actually cared who was there in the very moment.
I really just want DH in the room. Maybe my mom? But really, just DH.
I'm not sure if I'll put restrictions. I have to think about it and probably won't decide until the day of. I do know that if for whatever reason I have to have a csection or I'm incapacitated, I don't want anyone but DH (and medical staff) to hold him until I get to hold him.
Our families are pretty great about listening when we set boundaries and requests with stuff like this. I think they'll be especially understanding if we actually get to do skin-to-skin directly after birth this time (DD had to be taken to have a lot of extra care).
S+TM Who was in the room when you delivered last time? Just MH; both of our families were fine with this.
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one? Just MH again!
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors? YES. We had WAY too many visitors when I had my DD and many stayed too long. Between them and nurses/hospital staff in and out of the room, I didn't get a lot of rest. I really want to use our time in the hospital to focus on resting and establishing our breastfeeding relationship. Our plan is to let my parents know when I go into labor because they will come to stay with DD. After I have the baby, I want DD to be the first to meet her little brother/sister, and my parents will be with her. We will let MH's family know after we have the baby-they are out of state but will leave immediately if we let them know beforehand, and I really want that quiet time together as a family without them there. Outside of immediate family, I think I'm going to tell extended family friends that they are welcome to come visit us at home after we get settled in.
How has your family taken your requests? I think it will all be fine and they will be respectful. I just hope we don't have uninvited family/friends showing up in my hospital room knowing where I'll be delivering
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
I know visitors can apply to unmedicated births too, but the location and set up of unmedicated births is often outside the hospital and a little different expectations from others on visitation.
S+TM Who was in the room when you delivered last time?
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one?
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors?
How has your family taken your requests?
1. Just DH and medical team
2. Same as above.
3. My hospital does one hour skin-to-skin and breastfeeding and then sends you to a different room where visitation is not limited unless you specify you want limitations. I plan to take a little extra time this time to make sure I’m ready for visitors. Maybe like another hour?
4. My mom was bummed I didn’t want her in the labor room with me. I told her to stay home until the baby was born but she ended up sitting in the waiting room all day during my induction. It definitely irritated me but I couldn’t stop her. The IL’s stayed away until the baby was here but definitely thought they could hang out all evening that night and the next. It was exhausting. Hopefully, since DS will need watched this time, it will limit how long they stay. I also plan on setting limits on how long they are there. It’s stressful when you are trying to establish breastfeeding. Hopefully family will understand.
I made it clear that I only wanted DH in the delivery room. I think it hurt my mom's feelings a little bit but it was ok. I will do it the same this time
My parents live 4 hours away. I was induced last time so they came in to town for the morning after my induction but didn't come to the hospital until we called them. ILs live 30 min away and we will likely call them when the baby is born. I was fine with parents and siblings taking turns visiting but I didn't have any friends visit.
It depends on timing and if I end up needing to be induced or not but we would need someone to watch DD. I will probably wait to call people until at least an hour after delivery... They will never know the difference.
I agree that having people over to the house was exhausting. We actually stopped by a family party a couple weeks after delivery and that worked well because we left when I was tired.
I know my friends will be exited to see the baby (we are very close and they are pretty chill) so I'm not sure what the plan will be with that.
I know visitors can apply to unmedicated births too, but the location and set up of unmedicated births is often outside the hospital and a little different expectations from others on visitation.
S+TM Who was in the room when you delivered last time?
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one?
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors?
How has your family taken your requests?
- It was only Me, MH, the OB, and one nurse.
- I plan for the same as above. I really liked limiting it to that group.
- With DS I did not put restrictions on it, but he was born at 9am and my first visitors were around 2pm. This time I do plan to put a restriction on that the first visitors will be whichever set of parents is watching DS. He deserves to meet his little sibling before the rest of my family.
- We haven't talked to anyone about it yet, but I don't anticipate any issues. I didn't have any conversations with people the first time around so I actually didn't even tell our parents I was in labor until I was being admitted to the hospital around 6pm one night. This time they'll find out earlier since someone has to take DS, but I'm not expecting anyone to argue with our wishes.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks DS born 9/13/16 BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
(Had an ummedicated birth last time but it was in a hospital, same setting as most medicated births)
- Only MH and the medical team (L&D nurse and my midwife) were there when I delivered, but my mom was in the room for a while earlier in labor, pre-transition. It started getting a little more intense and I think I was going to have a check or something and she left and we didn't have her come back in. I think she would have been happy to stay the whole time but was very respectful of my wishes. It was probably a little intense for her, too, knowing my mom, but you get very self-focused during labor so I wasn't really paying attention.
- I only want MH in there again. Will probably have my mom in the room prior to pushing, but we'll play it by ear.
- We had quiet family time for close to an hour last time, and I think that's a good amount of time again. Both of our families (all 4 parents and any siblings who live nearby) were at the hospital, but we had them wait. And she was born at 1 am (and they had all been there since around 5 pm), so I'm sure they were a little unhappy about it but they didn't make any sort of fuss. We'll definitely be clear that they don't need to be there right away if it's another MOTN birth but they can do what they want like they did before. If it's a daytime birth, we'll probably cut them off fairly quickly, but I don't have a timeframe in mind.
- Our family has been fine with going along with what we ask. Some of them might talk about it behind our backs but they don't cause trouble, so whatevs.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
Only Dh was in the room and will be again. His sister stopped by to bring him some food but I was kinda loud during contractions at that point so he left the room to talk to her.
Dd was born at 5:15pm and dh’s family lives less than half an hour away, so I had them come over around 8:30/9 knowing they would have to keep it short due to the time of day and thus leaving all the next day uninterrupted until my parents were able to get there. So each side of the family came all at once, visited for an hour or so, then left, and no one else was invited to the hospital, it was just right for us. We had very few visitors after we got home, which was for the best as we got dd’s cf diagnoses at about 4 days old and her first specialists appts started at 6 days old.
The only thing that may be different this time, is that we need to figure out who will be caring for dd, and dh will probably need to come home and help w her therapies etc. so if I’m alone I may let a local friend or two visit to fill the gaps, we’ll see.
I’m really trying to figure out how to not upset the in-laws by having my bff take care of dd...I just trust her more to manage the cf stuff right and to know when to just ask us what to do rather than guess like mil tends to...mil is our main babysitter, but only for midday activities when very little cf care is needed.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@chicandbubbly my epidural was great last time, I could still feel my legs and move my toes (one leg was slightly numb but not completely) and I could move side to side with the help of the nurses. My reason for trying to avoid this time has more to do with my adhesive allergy. I didn’t have a headache with it.
As for who was in the room, it was my mom, DH, sister, plus a doctor, midwife, 5 nurses, plus 3 specialists for my daughter who was in distress (they just came in right before I finally pushed her out). This time I plan to have DH, my mom, a doctor and many less nurses. My sister said that would be her only chance to see a birth (she had a c-section) but doesn’t feel like she needs to see another one. For visitors right after my dad and BIL came in the delivery room once I was cleaned up, my aunt and grandma stopped by after dinner, and my in laws came the next morning. This time the same people can come same day, in laws also if I feel up to it. I am super close with my family so having my parents and sister there actually helps me (they are extremely helpful and kept me laughing and entertained to keep my mind of contractions). My dad visited me daily in the hospital and brought me sushi and my mom was actually working there the next day (I was her lactation patient) so that made it easy.
We stayed at my parents house for a few days after so people could visit there. No visitors at our house for a while. It was right before Thanksgiving so the rest of our close relatives met her then.
Only DH was in the room with me last time and it will be the same this time. (Plus the OB, a handful of nurses and the big NICU team when they realized there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, I would love to avoid that last bunch of people this time around). I got to the hospital around 2am and he was born at 7am so nobody even knew I was in labor let alone that I had a baby until around 8/9am. My parents are about an hour away so I told them to come whenever but not to show up without mountains of sushi for me to eat lol. My sister and BIL and a BFF came later that afternoon. BFF is a professional photographer so she took some snaps of DS on his first day which I adore. I only spent one night in the hospital and went home the following afternoon which was the day before Thanksgiving.
This time around my parents will watch DS, but I'm not sure if I want them to bring him to the hospital or DH to go home and bring him so we can have some family time alone before Grammy and Pop meet her too. Hopefully BFF will be able to take some more pics this time, but otherwise I'm not planning on having anyone else visit and I'll be staying the full 2 nights pp (if I have a vagnial delivery again) just to have the nurses help so I can sleep a bit before I go home to my toddler.
Re: Medicated Birth
I think that having a doula might be really helpful for you, too. If you can, interview a few and find someone who's totally on board with helping you cope with whatever methods you are comfortable with. They can advocate for you, they've been through this with other women a bunch of times, they'll have some good ideas that you maybe won't think of or won't remember in the moment, and they can help your SO help you, too. And be sure to go over things with your doctor. Tell them that you're having some anxiety about it and ask them as many questions as you need to. My OB is available by email as well, which is helpful when we have a shorter visit and I don't feel comfortable taking a ton of time asking questions, but maybe you can just start talking over a few things at a time, and repeating them as necessary. You could start now/soon or wait until 3rd tri or whatever seems good to you.
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
S+TM Who was in the room when you delivered last time?
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one?
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors?
How has your family taken your requests?
Just DH, delivery nurses, NICU team (probably around 6-8 nurses/Dr. waiting to see if they were needed), and my Dr.
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one? Same! Though obviously I hope to have less nurses. DD wasn't rebounding through contractions, so it caused even more anxiety watching them all watching the HB monitor of DD.
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors?
No, DH's family is a few hours away so I don't expect they will make the trip until after she is born. My family will just wait until we tell them....last time my Dad dropped coffee and breakfast for Dh and I, and that was lovely. She was born at around 4am, and my Dad just drove up with food then came back for a visit later.
I will say I wish we had stopped people from coming to our house so soon after we got home or made firm limits there. One of my BFF's was nice enough to drive 1.5 hours to see us, but they stayed for HOURS. It was way too long given my emotional and physical state.
How has your family taken your requests?
Everyone is fine. We are lucky!
Afterward I wanted more time than what I had before allowing my parents to visit but it was late and I didn't really want to make them wait to visit until the next day. We will see what time of day this one is born and go from there, ideally I'd like at least a couple hours by ourselves before anyone coming. But they also brought food and that was greatly desired since I was STARVING.
I tried to limit visitors while I stayed in the hospital but caved with one of my husbands aunt and cousin who wanted to come. This time I won't cave and ask that only two people come at a time and still limit to just my parents and in-laws. I hate being in hospitals and don't sleep well anyway, and with a newborn sleep definitely doesn't happen. I will also limit visitors for a while once we're home, I got so overwhelmed so easily last time. As a FTM, I had no clue what I was doing but felt like I should know and it was just hard to try to find my own way through the tough beginning stages with a lot of people around.
I don't think that either my in-laws or my parents really liked that I limited who came over once we were home but I didn't care. I also don't think my H understood why I didn't want people around beforehand but once we were home and having trouble breastfeeding breastfeeding and lack of sleep, he got it quickly.
My parent came as soon as I was admitted to the hospital and stayed in the room with us while I was in labor but left for the waiting room when I started pushing. They came back right after baby was born which I was fine with. I think. I don’t really remember the first few hours all that well.
This time around my parents will be watching DS while I’m in the hospital, so visiting will depend on what time baby is born.
They’re the only ones that live within a 4 hour drive so I don’t expect any other family to visit at the hospital. Two cousins have been talking about coming to see us/my parents in August. One couple I already told that they need to come in early August so it’s well before baby is due. The other cousin I like a lot more so I would be fine if baby came early and she was here when I went into labor and came to the hospital. So far there have been no complaints, but they haven’t set dates yet either.
Friends will come once we’re settled at home. As long as they bring food and don’t mind if I excuse myself to go nurse/sleep I’m fine with visitors at home. Our friends are all pretty low key so it wasn’t an issue last time.
With DD, my mom and MIL were in the room. If DH hadn't been across the country at the time, I would have wanted just him. Though, I really don't think I actually cared who was there in the very moment.
I really just want DH in the room. Maybe my mom? But really, just DH.
I'm not sure if I'll put restrictions. I have to think about it and probably won't decide until the day of. I do know that if for whatever reason I have to have a csection or I'm incapacitated, I don't want anyone but DH (and medical staff) to hold him until I get to hold him.
Our families are pretty great about listening when we set boundaries and requests with stuff like this. I think they'll be especially understanding if we actually get to do skin-to-skin directly after birth this time (DD had to be taken to have a lot of extra care).
FTM and S+TM Who do you want in the room when you deliver this one? Just MH again!
Are you going to put restrictions on how long after baby is born you want quiet family time and have no visitors? YES. We had WAY too many visitors when I had my DD and many stayed too long. Between them and nurses/hospital staff in and out of the room, I didn't get a lot of rest. I really want to use our time in the hospital to focus on resting and establishing our breastfeeding relationship. Our plan is to let my parents know when I go into labor because they will come to stay with DD. After I have the baby, I want DD to be the first to meet her little brother/sister, and my parents will be with her. We will let MH's family know after we have the baby-they are out of state but will leave immediately if we let them know beforehand, and I really want that quiet time together as a family without them there. Outside of immediate family, I think I'm going to tell extended family friends that they are welcome to come visit us at home after we get settled in.
How has your family taken your requests? I think it will all be fine and they will be respectful. I just hope we don't have uninvited family/friends showing up in my hospital room knowing where I'll be delivering
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
2. Same as above.
3. My hospital does one hour skin-to-skin and breastfeeding and then sends you to a different room where visitation is not limited unless you specify you want limitations. I plan to take a little extra time this time to make sure I’m ready for visitors. Maybe like another hour?
4. My mom was bummed I didn’t want her in the labor room with me. I told her to stay home until the baby was born but she ended up sitting in the waiting room all day during my induction. It definitely irritated me but I couldn’t stop her. The IL’s stayed away until the baby was here but definitely thought they could hang out all evening that night and the next. It was exhausting. Hopefully, since DS will need watched this time, it will limit how long they stay. I also plan on setting limits on how long they are there. It’s stressful when you are trying to establish breastfeeding. Hopefully family will understand.
My parents live 4 hours away. I was induced last time so they came in to town for the morning after my induction but didn't come to the hospital until we called them. ILs live 30 min away and we will likely call them when the baby is born. I was fine with parents and siblings taking turns visiting but I didn't have any friends visit.
It depends on timing and if I end up needing to be induced or not but we would need someone to watch DD. I will probably wait to call people until at least an hour after delivery... They will never know the difference.
I agree that having people over to the house was exhausting. We actually stopped by a family party a couple weeks after delivery and that worked well because we left when I was tired.
I know my friends will be exited to see the baby (we are very close and they are pretty chill) so I'm not sure what the plan will be with that.
- I plan for the same as above. I really liked limiting it to that group.
- With DS I did not put restrictions on it, but he was born at 9am and my first visitors were around 2pm. This time I do plan to put a restriction on that the first visitors will be whichever set of parents is watching DS. He deserves to meet his little sibling before the rest of my family.
- We haven't talked to anyone about it yet, but I don't anticipate any issues. I didn't have any conversations with people the first time around so I actually didn't even tell our parents I was in labor until I was being admitted to the hospital around 6pm one night. This time they'll find out earlier since someone has to take DS, but I'm not expecting anyone to argue with our wishes.
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
- Only MH and the medical team (L&D nurse and my midwife) were there when I delivered, but my mom was in the room for a while earlier in labor, pre-transition. It started getting a little more intense and I think I was going to have a check or something and she left and we didn't have her come back in. I think she would have been happy to stay the whole time but was very respectful of my wishes. It was probably a little intense for her, too, knowing my mom, but you get very self-focused during labor so I wasn't really paying attention.
- I only want MH in there again. Will probably have my mom in the room prior to pushing, but we'll play it by ear.
- We had quiet family time for close to an hour last time, and I think that's a good amount of time again. Both of our families (all 4 parents and any siblings who live nearby) were at the hospital, but we had them wait. And she was born at 1 am (and they had all been there since around 5 pm), so I'm sure they were a little unhappy about it but they didn't make any sort of fuss. We'll definitely be clear that they don't need to be there right away if it's another MOTN birth but they can do what they want like they did before. If it's a daytime birth, we'll probably cut them off fairly quickly, but I don't have a timeframe in mind.
- Our family has been fine with going along with what we ask. Some of them might talk about it behind our backs but they don't cause trouble, so whatevs.
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
Dd was born at 5:15pm and dh’s family lives less than half an hour away, so I had them come over around 8:30/9 knowing they would have to keep it short due to the time of day and thus leaving all the next day uninterrupted until my parents were able to get there. So each side of the family came all at once, visited for an hour or so, then left, and no one else was invited to the hospital, it was just right for us. We had very few visitors after we got home, which was for the best as we got dd’s cf diagnoses at about 4 days old and her first specialists appts started at 6 days old.
The only thing that may be different this time, is that we need to figure out who will be caring for dd, and dh will probably need to come home and help w her therapies etc. so if I’m alone I may let a local friend or two visit to fill the gaps, we’ll see.
I’m really trying to figure out how to not upset the in-laws by having my bff take care of dd...I just trust her more to manage the cf stuff right and to know when to just ask us what to do rather than guess like mil tends to...mil is our main babysitter, but only for midday activities when very little cf care is needed.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
As for who was in the room, it was my mom, DH, sister, plus a doctor, midwife, 5 nurses, plus 3 specialists for my daughter who was in distress (they just came in right before I finally pushed her out). This time I plan to have DH, my mom, a doctor and many less nurses. My sister said that would be her only chance to see a birth (she had a c-section) but doesn’t feel like she needs to see another one. For visitors right after my dad and BIL came in the delivery room once I was cleaned up, my aunt and grandma stopped by after dinner, and my in laws came the next morning. This time the same people can come same day, in laws also if I feel up to it. I am super close with my family so having my parents and sister there actually helps me (they are extremely helpful and kept me laughing and entertained to keep my mind of contractions). My dad visited me daily in the hospital and brought me sushi and my mom was actually working there the next day (I was her lactation patient) so that made it easy.
We stayed at my parents house for a few days after so people could visit there. No visitors at our house for a while. It was right before Thanksgiving so the rest of our close relatives met her then.
This time around my parents will watch DS, but I'm not sure if I want them to bring him to the hospital or DH to go home and bring him so we can have some family time alone before Grammy and Pop meet her too. Hopefully BFF will be able to take some more pics this time, but otherwise I'm not planning on having anyone else visit and I'll be staying the full 2 nights pp (if I have a vagnial delivery again) just to have the nurses help so I can sleep a bit before I go home to my toddler.