Ask a Stm week of July 16

disneybaby84 · July 2018

This is a forum for first time moms to ask second time moms any and all questions. Remember all moms experiences, perspectives, opinions are unique.

JamieH2000 · July 2018

HI Ladies- I haven't had many questions yet since I am still not really letting myself believe I could actually be pregnant after 3 years and everything we have gone thru to get here, but I do have one today that I could probably google, but hoped you would have an easy quick answer. What tests are offered in the first tri? I believe there are are various blood tests and ultrasound scans that get done between 10-13 weeks? Maybe some are only covered under certain insurances?

kayjay44 · July 2018

JamieH2000 said:

HI Ladies- I haven't had many questions yet since I am still not really letting myself believe I could actually be pregnant after 3 years and everything we have gone thru to get here, but I do have one today that I could probably google, but hoped you would have an easy quick answer. What tests are offered in the first tri? I believe there are are various blood tests and ultrasound scans that get done between 10-13 weeks? Maybe some are only covered under certain insurances?

What is covered depends on your insurance. There are generally four tests: fetal free cell DNA, various specific genetic screens for you, genetic screens for the baby (that just give you a risk profile, not a yes or no like fetal free cell), and an NT scan (an ultrasound assessing for downs and other chromosomal abnormalities).

JamieH2000 · July 2018

@kayjay44- Thanks! I guess I better look into what my insurance covers and see also what my OB reco's.

disneybaby84 · July 2018

my insurance covers the genetic tests and the gender blood test

bananster1 · July 2018

I hope this is OK to ask and not too personal.

For those who had a tear with their first delivery, did you tear again with your second? If so, was it as bad as your first?

I ask because I had a partial 4th degree with my first. My doctor said there’s only a 3% chance of have that severe of a tear again, but I find comfort in hearing from other moms, too.

I 100% will continue talking with my doctor, but figured hearing other experiences may put my mind to ease.

kayjay44 · July 2018

bananster1 said:

I hope this is OK to ask and not too personal.

For those who had a tear with their first delivery, did you tear again with your second? If so, was it as bad as your first?

I ask because I had a partial 4th degree with my first. My doctor said there’s only a 3% chance of have that severe of a tear again, but I find comfort in hearing from other moms, too.

I 100% will continue talking with my doctor, but figured hearing other experiences may put my mind to ease.

There is basically nothing that is TMI here FWIW.

I had a minor tear (horizontal labial tear) the first time and did not tear at all the second time.

bananster1 · July 2018

@kayjay44 thank you! Did you find your labor/delivery to go faster with your second?

kayjay44 · July 2018

bananster1 said:

@kayjay44 thank you! Did you find your labor/delivery to go faster with your second?

Actually slower. My first was super fast (5 hours from my water breaking to holding a baby). My second was longer because DS's head was so big it kept my water from breaking fully. Once my water was fully broken, I did go from 4-10 in about 20 minutes, which I don't advise. With DD I pushed about 20 minutes, with DS I pushed less than 10 mins.

Erinm278 · July 2018

@bananster1 I think there are a lot of factors to consider with that one. I tore pretty bad with my first and less with my second but she was smaller. I expect to tear again with this one but I never had any issues healing from a tear.

wifemomme · July 2018

@bananster1 I tore with my first and second, but not my third. But, I was only in labor for less than 3 hours with my second and she was over 9 lbs, so it would be surprising to not have torn.

I wanted to offer some advice to all. Stop doing crunches and planks as soon as you start to show. It seems like they will help, but they do more harm than good.

BourbonBiscuits · July 2018

T+TMs - what are your favorite double strollers? DS turns 2 years old 5 days after this LO's due date, and I like having him strapped into a stroller sometimes when I'm out (he's the fastest 17 month old I've ever seen). I also think I'll wear this baby more than I wore him, but am still curious about double strollers. I think we want to stay away from a side by side configuration, and I'd love if our infant seat (Graco click connect) could click into the stroller.

Final complication: my MIL wants to buy it for us. Last time she offered to buy us something she bought us a trash can - she gave us a (hefty) budget, and we picked a fancy one that was on the low end of her budget. She STILL brings up the fact that I (as if I picked it all by myself) picked the most expensive trash can in the world. Part of me wants to express how grateful we are and mention that we're looking at expensive ones and that we would so appreciate anything she'd like to contribute towards an uppababy or whatever. Butttttt then I'd never hear the end of how we don't think she can afford a present for her second grandchild. UGH LADY.

kayjay44 · July 2018

@BourbonBiscuits - City Mini GT Double. Hands down.

wifemomme · July 2018

@BourbonBiscuits I never did find a double stroller I liked. They are all too bulky and I couldn't figure out how people can fit them in the car with all the other stuff that you need with 2+ babies and I drive a Ford Explorer, so you would think that I would have the room.

I liked using an umbrella stroller with the big one and wearing the baby. It saves so much room in my vehicle.

MrsCaliRN · July 2018

@bananster1 That sounds horrible! I couldn't imagine getting through the healing process of a tear that bad! With DS, I had a slight tear, not even sure if it was classified as a 1st degree, and I received 1 stitch. With DD I had a small tear that the OB didn't stitch up at all.

@BourbonBiscuits We have a Graco Ready-2-Grow stroller which works with the click connect system and you can alter it so your older LO can sit or stand in the back. It was $160 on Amazon, it folds to be more compact then my single stroller (a Fast Action Jogger) and it comes with some handy sun shades for the front and back seats.

@kayjay10 I have a friend who experienced precipitous labor with her babies and I definitely agree that quick labors like that are not to be envied! DS was born after 40 hours of active labor and 4 minutes of pushing and DD took about 24 hours of labor and 8 minutes of pushing. They were 6lb6oz and 6lb8oz, respectively.

okayestmom12 · July 2018

@BourbonBiscuits - I’m leaning towards a Baby Jogger City Select Lux because of the option of a bench seat to strap my 3 year old down on.

megpants209 · July 2018

Who has gone without an epidural and is that your plan this time? Why/why not?

bananster1 · July 2018

@MrsCaliRN It actually wasn’t that bad! Ice packs and witch hazel pads were amazing!

danixbanani24 · July 2018

@MrsCaliRN I have a Grace stroller too not the same as yours but I was wondering do you have a kickboard that fits the Graco strollers?? I noticed that Graco doesn’t seem to make them and I’m not sure what kickboard will work best. DS will be 3 when LO arrives so I’m not looking for a double stroller lol (my tune may change later on we shall see haha)

Erinm278 · July 2018

@megpants209 I've never had an unmedicated birth but I would like to try this time. My main motivation is that after both of my previous deliveries I ended up with pretty significant infections. The second time was so bad that I was quarantined from my newborn for 24 hours. I don't have conclusive evidence for the cause but I believe it was because of complications from my epidural. The first time my epidural was placed incorrectly and the second time was a confirmed really bad UTI from the catheter. Anyway..I want to try for an epidural free delivery this time so my recovery is less complicated.

kayjay44 · July 2018

@megpants209 - two failed epis here so none of the benefits and all the side effects. I’ll be going for med free again with the knowledge I can change my mine.

mindgrapes08 · July 2018

First time mom here, just a question about symptoms. I'm 8w2d today and other than some light dry heaving and very slight breast sensitivity, I have no symptoms. I felt horrible the last 2 weeks, vomiting, sore breasts, nausea all day. I've also been taking an hcg test strip once a week *just to make sure* and the past 2 days, there's definitely a line, but not blaring like it was previously. Hormones too high? I'm going to stop testing, but my 1st appointment isn't until 7/24. Am I going crazy?!

rmartin_ttc · July 2018

Hi I have two questions

rmartin_ttc · July 2018

Ugh for some reason the rest didn’t post

1. If we already plan on getting a cradle and crib (my dad is hand making a cradle for us) is a playpen necessary? I know a lot of people who use it with the shallow top part in as like a transition before crib, but we will have a cradle. I know it can be useful with travel but we don’t travel that much. In your opinion if you had one did you use it that much? Was it worth it?

2. We have BCBS insurance, and it covers 70% of maternity care and if we meet our 1000 dollar deductible it goes to like 90%. From your experience, even with your insurance, did the birth and hospital stay cost a lot or was it very reduced and affordable with insurance. Just wondering what to expect.

rmartin_ttc · July 2018

Also I had changed my screen name to 2_momsrbetterthan_1 but for some reason it won’t recognize the change

BourbonBiscuits · July 2018

@mindgrapes08 don't stress!! I believe I read from someone else here that levels tend to even out around 8/9 weeks. My symptoms all but disappeared right around 8 weeks and then came back with a vengeance a few days later. Only a few more days until your appointment!

Thank you ALL for the stroller recommendations. I do anticipate wearing this baby a lot more than I wore DS, so maybe that's the answer here. MIL is already judging us for wanting to buy a second crib rather than kick DS out of his early.

kayjay44 · July 2018

@mindgrapes08 - totally normal. My first pregnancy I had the same concern then was smacked on my ass with morning sickness.

kayjay44 · July 2018

@rmartin_ttc - we didn’t get a pack and play until #2 because we had to protect #2 from #1.

As for cost, cost of delivery and care varies but for an uncomplicated vaginal delivery, it’s about $35k here if you pay OOP. With insurance ($500 deductible, 80% coverage after that), I’ve done all the math and we will owe like $2.6k. Luckily I overestimated our FSA for this year and with rollover, we can pay it all with our FSA.

LuLiLaEv · July 2018

megpants209 said:

Who has gone without an epidural and is that your plan this time? Why/why not?

I rmartin_ttc said:

Ugh for some reason the rest didn’t post

1. If we already plan on getting a cradle and crib (my dad is hand making a cradle for us) is a playpen necessary? I know a lot of people who use it with the shallow top part in as like a transition before crib, but we will have a cradle. I know it can be useful with travel but we don’t travel that much. In your opinion if you had one did you use it that much? Was it worth it?

2. We have BCBS insurance, and it covers 70% of maternity care and if we meet our 1000 dollar deductible it goes to like 90%. From your experience, even with your insurance, did the birth and hospital stay cost a lot or was it very reduced and affordable with insurance. Just wondering what to expect.

@megpants209 I had no epidural with my 1st (used Nitrous Oxide though) With my second I tried to get one but I was already at a 10 before they came in to do it.
My delivery was so fast with my second (got to my room at 2:45 and she was born at 3:43) that I don’t plan on even attempting anything with this baby.
My recovery’s were super easy and had no side effects. Up walking around an hour after giving birth. I loved it!

@rmartin_ttc I have BCBS, and my second was about 1000.

sjnsjnsjn · July 2018

I had an epidural with my first and definitely plan the same with this one.

hannahbananas11 · July 2018

Hiring a doula: I'm on the fence. If we hire a doula, it'll be out of pocket because our insurance won't cover it. We can afford it, but I don't want to throw money at something if I don't need it.
I don't need that much emotional support (I'm not a very emotional person, and tend to take on a "let's get this job done" attitude when in a stressful situation). I don't need medical support (the OB team is very highly-regarded, and my husband is a doctor who is not shy about voicing his concerns if something looks awry). I really just need someone with the technical knowledge/skills in birthing a child. Basically a coach. I need someone to tell me what to do and when to do it, in order to make labor go more smoothly.
Has anyone hired a doula for the express purpose of coaching you through labor? Or is a doula more just there for emotional support?

BourbonBiscuits · July 2018

@hannahbananas11 for what it’s worth, I did not hire a doula. The nurses coached me through every second - they were AMAZING and told me exactly what to do. I think if you just want that “coach” experience, your nurses can do that for you!

kayjay44 · July 2018

@hannahbananas11 - No doula here. The nurses and MWs were awesome at the actual coaching. DH was my emotional support. I don't think I'd have a need for one.

disneybaby84 · July 2018

@megpants209, I had an unmedicated birth. Yes, it is my plan to go unmedicated again this time. What I liked about having a natural birth was that, although the soreness in my vagina was still there, due to my stitches, overall I was able to bounce back to my usual self pretty quickly after giving birth, which from what I understand with those who did not do a natural birth, they had a much slower pace of recovery. Don't get me wrong, I was still exhausted and sleep deprived, but even after giving birth, I required very little pain medication, advil, etc. Definitely doing it again.

disneybaby84 · July 2018

@rmartin_ttc my experience with insurance and the hospital, was the birth of the baby was free, but the charge for the NICU stay was approximately $6000. Remember, by the time you give birth, you will have made a dent in your deductible with doctor visits.

kayjay44 · July 2018

@rmartin_ttc - It all comes down to your coverage and how your clinic bills, too. The only things I pay for as I go is lab work and U/S. Everything else is bundled into the $35k including the hospital stay, birth, newborn care, prenatal and postpartum care. You should be able to get an idea of what it will cost OOP from your care provider and your insurance may have a cost estimator (my last two insurance companies have). Anesthesia is also billed separately as is circumcision if you have a boy and elect to go that route.

ChloandCoco · July 2018

@BourbonBiscuits I would never transition a toddler to a bed early just to have a free crib. My DD is almost three and still sleeps in her crib, she never tried to climb out. She sleeps a lot better in there and if she wakes up early, she stays in there and reads her books. That being said, we will transition her to a bed next month.

kayjay44 · July 2018

ChloandCoco said:

@BourbonBiscuits I would never transition a toddler to a bed early just to have a free crib. My DD is almost three and still sleeps in her crib, she never tried to climb out. She sleeps a lot better in there and if she wakes up early, she stays in there and reads her books. That being said, we will transition her to a bed next month.

We transitioned DD at 18 months. She did great in a toddler bed until recently. We will likely transition DS this fall - we need to make some decisions about how the kids will be arranged first because we may need a bunk bed.

danixbanani24 · July 2018

I would just like to add to the insurance discussion...not all doctors that will see you and your new LO in your hospital are necessarily covered by your insurance. Hospitals out source a lot so even thought my HOSPITAL was in network, some of the doctors and specialists that saw us were NOT in network. I fought my insurance like HELL to pay a portion because what the hell??? Apparently it’s fairly common though.

I paid around $2500 with BCBS and 90% covered for my DS birth. I was a vaginal delivery but had to also pay for OR because my placenta wouldnt come out and I needed a DandC right after birth. Joyous

madreofdragons · July 2018

This will be my first birth with Kaiser Permanente, but I’m hoping the 5 day hospitalization I had in January (fuck you, diverticulitis!) will help keep my OOP under control.

lzzfrancisco · July 2018

@megpants209 I had a natural/unmedicated birth by choice with DD, however i had complications(retained placenta and hemorrhaged) so they knocked me out with stadol. Between the meds and large volume of blood lost, the first 24 hours after birth were miserable. I plan to ask my OB about the likelihood of having the same complication again before I decide on having an epidural next time. I'd be fine with natural birth again if I knew there wouldnt be complications.

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