Monday BF 7/16

runningyogimama · July 2018

I’m just so tired of being so exhausted. I know it could be worse and I could be puking my entire pregnancy, but I’ve had extreme exhaustion all 3 of my pregnancies (as a runner, the only way I can describe it is that when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I ran at least a half marathon the day before and didn’t get enough sleep to recover...every single day...), and I’m SO over it and just want to feel normal parent tired instead of this crazy exhausted feeling. It’s just so frustrating!

honeybeebub · July 2018

@runningyogimama I feel your pain. My 3y/o has decided that he needs to get up in the middle of the night because he's "all done with bed" and then once he's back in bed, he only sleeps til 5am (used to be down until 7am). I'm just so exhausted and know it's only going to be 5x worse when baby gets here. I may take some vacation days just to nap.

runningyogimama · July 2018

@honeybeebub Oh, no, I will take new baby sleep-deprived exhaustion over this kind of exhaustion any day! People always look at me like I’m crazy when I say that I’m looking forward to just being sleep deprived instead of this exhausted feeling, but...ugh. It’s a different feeling.

middleschoolmommy · July 2018

We are in Houston for a few days and my bf is about the hotel. DH switched our reservation to a hotel down the street to save $100...i get it. But this hotel has doors directly to the outside. At 2 AM someone came banging on our door. They had the wrong room but woke us all up.
Also the hair dryer was broken

honeybeebub · July 2018

@runningyogimama Have they checked your iron levels or anything with you being so exhausted?
@middleschoolmommy I would have freaked out and probably not opened the door! I never even open our door when I'm home alone - too many weird schemes to break in, etc.

tessiesmom26 · July 2018

I bought a new pair of flip flops, but I can't wear them long enough to break them in because my feet keep swelling. Ugh, I hope this doesn't get too much worse. I have been trying to suck down so much water to help keep the swelling down.

lifesabeach85 · July 2018

@tessiesmom26 have you tried swimming? It really helps with feet swelling. If you don’t have a gym with a pool or a close friend with a pool check out local hotels with pools - some will give you a day pass to their pool for just a few bucks.

tessiesmom26 · July 2018

@lifesabeach85 My aunt has a pool that I can use any time! I will try that out, thank you!

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

@tessiesmom26 I have also had problems with swelling, especially with it being so hot, and have noticed that cutting back on salt really helps! There’s a ton of it in stuff I didn’t even realize.

wamam027 · July 2018

@runningyogimama I completely understand. I have Hashimotos thyroiditis so have extreme exhaustion on the regular and it's something you can't really describe to others because it's one of those "you have to experience what I'm trying to explain to you because otherwise you don't have a clue" things. With dd in second tri I did gain some energy back but this pregnancy it's gotten worse and I never thought that was possible. It's to the point that I don't even feel safe driving across town (I'm staying with my parents for a few months so I don't have to and won't, don't worry) where my 'usual' is more of a I don't trust myself driving more than an hour or so. Never thought I'd look forward to feeling my "usual" form of exhaustion but I guess this is why you never say never. I hope you get some energy back very soon!

runningyogimama · July 2018

@wamam027 I’m sorry that kind of exhaustion is your normal! I do feel like it’s something I can’t describe other than a couple other people who experienced something similar in pregnancy who were like YES! Unfortunately with my first two pregnancies, giving birth was what made it go away, so I’m not holding my breath for relief before then.

@honeybeebub I haven’t had blood work done since first tri this pregnancy, but like I said, this is what I experienced my first two pregnancies (and nothing to do with iron levels with those). I feel like it’s just how my body also gains massive amounts of weight while pregnant when I’m not eating poorly - it’s just what happens, and I have no control over it. Just another part of why I really dislike being pregnant....

lurvleybunchococonuts · July 2018

@runningyogimama I hope you find some energy soon! I can't imagine how draining it must be to feel so exhausted non-stop

@middleschoolmommy Ugh! How rude! I hate having my sleep interrupted unnecessarily.

@tessiesmom26 Boo @ your swollen feet! I hope you get some relief soon! I've heard compression socks can also be helpful.

My BF is at my building manager. He approved having samples brought into the lab super late for testing after my boss & I were done for the week so I had to come in over the weekend to take care of them. He than had the audacity to come in this morning laughing and joking asking about "how much fun I had coming in on Saturday". Next time I'm telling my boss if I'm doing OT due to his sales reps screw up/at his approval than he can come in and learn how to do them right along side me. I'll take the OT, but do NOT make jokes about it when I had to take 3 hours out of my Saturday just to take care of this crap.

middleschoolmommy · July 2018

I've been waiting for prime day and it seems the Amazon website is broken

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

@middleschoolmommy yes, it’s so annoying! I haven’t been able to get in at all since it started.

middleschoolmommy · July 2018

I was FINALLY able to get to the sales and I got a graco snug ride click connect and the stroller system that works with it for just around $100! The $10 credit from shopping at Whole foods was nice.

MouseMama817 · July 2018

Early morning Tuesday BF:
The past few nights DD has been having trouble falling asleep so she yells for DH and I to entertain her and it's driving me bananas. DH gets anxious listening to her in the monitor and therefore annoyed with me for not jumping up to see what she needs (he goes too, he just huffs and puffs) when all I want to do is go to sleep after devoting myself to her for the last 13 hours. Mind you, she isn't crying for us. She's talking to herself and then occasionally yells for one of us. When we go in she asks for more milk (half the time she doesn't even drink it) or for another song, or says she has to pee pee but then doesn't go. DH just can't grasp my lack of patience for these stall tactics and thinks we should be catering to her until she eventually falls asleep. I'm a 9pm sleeper, sometimes earlier depending on the day I've had. And ya'll know in the morning there is no such thing as easing into the day. I need my sleep. These extra hours in the night have been brutal.

Also, I'm doing swim lessons solo again today. I told DH if DD behaves like she did last week, I'm taking her home and we're not doing the lesson. This of course made him mad because he thinks it would be wasted money and "plenty of moms do it." Cue my pregnancy rage. Pray for me please.

emjohn517 · July 2018

Mamamouse, solidarity! We just switched DD to her “big girl” room and at first she was fine, but now it’s taking a million hugs and kisses, trips to potty, back rubs and singing to get her to sleep. And my bedtime is also a strict 9pm lol, so it’s wearing me out. Plus she woke up extra early this morning, like why dude? Gonna need some extra coffee.

swim lessons solo is tough! Just carrying the swim bag, changing her into the suit then after the dry clothes and trying to dry yourself after while she’s cold and whining is freaking work. I totally get it. I’ve been there! Lol

lifesabeach85 · July 2018

@MouseMama817 DD is pulling the same crap at bedtime!!!! I bet it’s a common thing. She will delay delay delay, has to do everything herself, takes a million years to get in bed then every time we try to leave it’s “wait!” Half the time she can’t even think of anything she wants, ugh. And she definitely will call for us after we leave for stupid reasons “I can’t find hippo!” Uh he’s in your hand? More water? It’s full! It was a lot easier to just leave her to fuss when she couldn’t get out of bed and bang on the door. It has gotten to the point where we will just leave her to do that for a while, otherwise it would be all night. Hopefully it eventually passes! Because yeah by 8pm (her bedtime) I am done.

MouseMama817 · July 2018

@emjohn517 @lifesabeach85 I'm so glad I'm not alone! I wonder if it's a growth spurt thing. Don't sleep regressions usually happen around then? DD has been getting growing pains in her legs lately so that's what I'm leaning toward. It doesn't make it any less annoying. The extra pressure from DH to be this infinitely patient martyr--I mean parent-- is not helping either.

BabyBoyH92016 · July 2018

+1 for toddler sleep problems. About a month ago we transitioned my son out of his pack and play to a floor bed. The first two weeks were awesome. I was in shock how well it went, but then the problems started. Last night was the first night in probably a week and a half where he’s gone to sleep relatively quickly and slept completely through the night. I’m hoping his regression is over and things are back to normal.

highsteaks · July 2018

add me to toddler sleep complaints. the stalling tactics are 1) needs us to find two specific small toys among her dozens of similarly sized toys strewn thoughout the house, 2) has to do the kisses and snuggles routine just right or start over again and again, 3) needs us to assure her that her water is “fresh,” and 4) she always has something in her eye 15 minutes after we’ve left her. also recently she has started leaving her room 1.5 hours before wakeup to crawl into bed with us. we’ve been letting her do it because otherwise someone has to get up. i have no clue what to do to stop that new behavior.

MouseMama817 · July 2018

@highsteaks Yes! And she so often whines the name of said toy so it’s harder to understand what she’s asking for.
We still have that white doorknob protector thing on the inside of her bedroom door so she can’t roam around the house while we’re sleeping (she isn’t nighttime potty trained yet. When she starts waking up to pee we’ll take it off) so luckily we don’t have the crawling into bed issue— yet. I’m dreading the day. Plus I’m really nervous for the middle of the night standing 2 inches from your face thing that kids do. I’ve seen too many horror movies...I just know I’m going to accidentally punch her in the face.

lachnessmomster · July 2018

@MouseMama817 I feel your pain! The nighttime routine has always been tough around here, and just before my husband deployed, I finally had DS on a great routine. He would be in bed by 9 every night, and even if he didn't fall asleep right away, he would quietly entertain himself with a toy in bed or something until he drifted off. He would still wake up and come to our bed in the middle of the night, but sometimes he would be in his own room until 6 a.m., which was major progress.

Since I've been staying with my parents this summer, we've been sharing a room, and even though he has his own bed, it's been pretty tempting for him to crawl into mine since it's literally right next to his. Now he won't even start the night in his own bed anymore. When we get back to our own house, we're going to have to start the nighttime routine all over again.

It is so hard when you just want those few moments to yourself or to get to bed early after a long day, and they have you come in for the silliest things. Once or twice is okay, but half a dozen times or more can get old pretty quickly. I hope your DH becomes a little more understanding! Sometimes going in multiple times for no real reason keeps them up longer and just prolongs the dramatics.

highsteaks · July 2018

@MouseMama817 we just stopped securing her in at night. we felt it was time because she started asking us why we were locking her in

(parent guilt did me in). she can go up and down the stairs just fine now and we have the non toddler proofed rooms gated off. she is sooooo quiet opening her door. i’m thinking of getting a bell or something for her doorknob. the first morning she snuck into our room freaked me out because she was just standing there saying mama quietly over and over again like a scene in a horror movie. now, just like in the early baby days, i’m conditioned to wake up and be somewhat aware of what’s happening so it’s not so freaky.

lurvleybunchococonuts · July 2018

Can't say I feel all your pain with the toddler sleep problems, but man they sound rough! I do NOT look forward to that with LO. Mousemama... good luck with DD at swim lessons today and good luck with YH! Having that kind of patience all day/every day is so wearing on you.

+1 for creepy little kids waking you from a dead sleep 2 inches from your face. M had a sleep over about a month ago and the little girl spending the night woke up due to a storm and scared the living bejeezus out of me (thankfully I did not punch said child although I just about jumped out of my skin). M had only done that about once when she was younger and I think the OH GOOD GOD/scream reaction taught her other tactics like making noise from the doorway or the foot of the bed.

runningyogimama · July 2018

I’ve got a Tuesday one, too - our short term disability covers up to 13 weeks. Our employer will cover their portion of our benefits up to 12 weeks while under FMLA, so I was kind of sad that I misunderstood and lose that one week. Well, now I just heard back from HR after I asked to clarify that, and they’re stating that while short term disability covers up to 13 weeks, it’s still only the 6 weeks for vaginal delivery/8 weeks for c-section, and now I want to cry. I asked to clarify if my doctor writes me out for longer, if it wouldn’t be covered then (which was my understanding...). Everyone here takes the full 12 weeks, so I can’t imagine they’re all taking half of it unpaid? I don’t think I can afford to take 6 weeks unpaid.

honeybeebub · July 2018

@MouseMama817 We have the door lock on DS's room but he's figured out how to hang on it and break it off... We're now trying to duck tape it together and praying that it stays. If he's not getting the door handle off he's banging on the door, but at least I know he's safe. I'm also worried about the wandering around and standing next to me in bed, but I feel like it's in our near future.

mockingjay1 · July 2018

Another one here with a toddler who stalls at bedtime. It didn't really start until we potty trained in March (day and night PT). Now he wants to rock and sing x2 (which he won't want to do forever so I always do), change out stuffed animals, pee 1-3x... Even though I am 99% sure he doesn't really have to go, I can't refuse to let him get up and pee. I think when it gets dark earlier it will help, because now he looks out the window before bed and says "the moon and stars aren't out yet."

@runningyogimama - I hope you have more than 6-8 weeks off paid.

@MouseMama817 - Yikes! If your DH thinks you need to be catering to her, then he can jump out of bed and tend to her every night.

runningyogimama · July 2018

@mockingjay1 It’s not looking like I do. I feel stupid for assuming, even if the way the policy is written isn’t clear. I’m so sad. DH is saying I need to go back at 6 weeks if it’s going to be unpaid, which I know I really should for financial reasons, but I also know I won’t feel ready at 6 weeks. I feel stupid and sad now. And DH is pissed, so that’s not helping.

mockingjay1 · July 2018

runningyogimama said:

@mockingjay1 It’s not looking like I do. I feel stupid for assuming, even if the way the policy is written isn’t clear. I’m so sad. DH is saying I need to go back at 6 weeks if it’s going to be unpaid, which I know I really should for financial reasons, but I also know I won’t feel ready at 6 weeks. I feel stupid and sad now. And DH is pissed, so that’s not helping.

Don't feel stupid, it sounds like it was confusing. Do you have any vacation/PTO saved up that you could use to take off a little longer?

lurvleybunchococonuts · July 2018

@runningyogimama

Oh girl I'm so sorry! That totally sucks! I would be super upset about that too!

pelorunningmama · July 2018

@runningyogimama my company doesn't have leave either. One other thing to check into is if there is a waiting period before benefits start. So for example, even though we have "6 weeks," I'm only paid at 60% of my salary for 4 weeks of it. We have a two week entry period for disability that is unpaid. It is beyond terrible.

What I've done is saved all my vacation, as many sick hours as possible (Ha! You know how that goes when you already have two kids), and will "work from home" for as long as they will let me. Any chance your company would let you do some kind of deal so you can at least get around 8 weeks at home? 6 weeks is so fast.

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

@runningyogimama I’m in the same boat here - 6 weeks paid at 60% of my salary, the remaining 6 unpaid. Which is insane, considering I work in health care and the CEO happens to be a working mother - you’d think they’d have a better leave policy, but no. I’ve been saving up my vacation time to supplement, but that also sucks because it’s the summer and I want to take time off to relax before the baby gets here! My boss is also hinting at me doing some work “from home” while I’m on leave - which, I found out from DH who works in HR, is illegal. This Mom does not work for free!

runningyogimama · July 2018

There is an 8 day elimination period (and then it’s paid at 70%, which I’m happy about), which I was aware of and have saved up PTO for, but our PTO accrues on a rolling basis and we can only take what we’ve earned to date, so even if I don’t take any PTO before I give birth, I will have a little less than 40 additional hours by then. We also only have PTO, no sick time, and are not allowed to work from home. Needless to say, I never go on vacation and normally use all of my PTO for sick days, between my kids and myself.

middleschoolmommy · July 2018

@runningyogimama I'm in the same situation. I'll have 3 weeks paid by short term disability and 3 weeks paid from my pto. I know I'm going to end up with a minimum of 2 weeks unpaid

@firsttimespartanmom I've also been "hinted at" that I will be expected to still do some work while on leave. I have to prepare lessons before leave, fine, but then I have to make sure my students have grades in the grade book while I'm out...

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

@middleschoolmommy it’s so frustrating. My boss has asked me several times how long I plan to take (for reference, my boss’s boss had her child on a Friday and came back to work the following Monday) and I finally just filled out the paperwork for all 12 weeks. Super frustrating that most of us will still be expected to do “some” work, especially while not being compensated.

MouseMama817 · July 2018

@firsttimespartanmom Is your boss's boss Angela from The Office? Geez! Also, I feel like they just showed their hand in asking you to work from home while on leave. Clearly working from home is an option so maybe you can negotiate a more flexible, work from home schedule once your official leave ends.

@runningyogimama You shouldn't feel stupid for misunderstanding the leave policy. What's up with the "up to" portion of the 13 weeks policy? Did they answer your question on if they'd extend it with doctor recommendation? I cannot fathom an OB or MW not being willing to give you that note for extra time at home with your baby. Have you asked around to find out what your coworkers are doing to get that 12 weeks?
I'm truly so sorry you're getting hit with this. It's one thing to know the sh*tty leave policy from the start but to be blindsided by it is another thing entirely, especially when your spouse doesn't understand. It's easy to be logical about this sort of thing when it's a nebulous situation; once LO is here hopefully he'll come around and something can be worked out to give you longer at home. Hugs mama

runningyogimama · July 2018

@MouseMama817 I asked what would happen if my doctor wrote me out longer than the 6 or 8 weeks, and the response was that supporting medical documentation would have to be sent to the carrier for them to make that determination, not my doctor.

I plan to ask the few people on my floor who’ve gone on maternity leave since I’ve been here how much was paid for...I only really talk to one of them, so it’ll be weird if I bring it up with the others, but I’m definitely curious if everyone is just taking half of it unpaid.

MouseMama817 · July 2018

@lurvleybunchococonuts It got cancelled! I was 5 minutes away from the school when they called to tell me they had to shut down because of a bathroom incident in the pool. Fine by me, DD had been screaming and crying the entire drive there. I don't know where this sudden hatred for swim came from but man, if DH would allow it I would just call it and eat the money we paid for these remaining 4 lessons.

@runningyogimama That's how it worked with my HR department when I went out early on FMLA. I worked as a financial advisor but was logged into a phone all day and going to the bathroom involved logging out--effectively clocking out for the 5 minutes it took to walk to the bathrooms. Problem is, we were expected to keep these log outs to a minimum and schedule adherence was a major metric we were judged on. I found myself drinking less and less water to maintain my performance at work so that's what I told my MW and she turned around and made up some stuff to send our HR department, which they bought. I have no idea what they sent over, but it's really worth a try. The worst that can happen is they say no.

runwmusic · July 2018

My leave is up to 12 weeks as well. 6 paid in full, 2 at partial, and the last 4 are unpaid. I am still taking the 12 weeks. My company also has "parental leave" and gives new parents, dad it mom's, an extra two weeks of vacation to use within a year of birth. Not as nice as Canada or UK but I'll take what I can get. I'm sure I will be working from home as well... Definitely less so when I'm not getting a day check though!

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