Thank you, everyone, for your really kind thoughts and words. I love this community so much. You really know how to pick a gal up when she’s feeling like she’s at the bottom of a well (again) and doesn’t know if she has the strength to climb out (again).
Our wee foster kitten arrived Monday and she is ADORABLE and also a huge distraction because she has some tummy trouble that we have to nurse her through. So that’s fun!
@emmasemm Thank you for the IG tip! I follow some IF people, but I’ve been contemplating starting an IF-specific account. I’m glad to hear it’s pretty easy. Do you have people you know following you, or is it just for IF people? I’m debating if I’d want people I know following me because part of us still wants SOME element of surprise, even though most of our friends and family know we’re doing IVF. Now I’m going to go look up that realstumpycat, too. ;-)
I am SO glad you got to continue this cycle! Sadly, I never was accepted at Hogwarts, but I’ll definitely send any spells your way that I can muster! Grow follies, grow!
@mirabelle33 I’m enjoying the acupuncture! I really do feel more relaxed after it. DH is dubious about its benefits fertility-wise, and it’s not covered by my insurance, so we’ll probably have a discussion about it in our RE’s office (who incidentally has cards for a different acupuncturist on his desk). I maintain we should be trying everything within reason that our RE deems safe at this point.
I hope you get some suggestions about the yeast infection? Since all of France is on vacation, will you get one, too? Vacation at least helps the time pass.
@ChristenMA83 Ah, I figured it was something like that. It’s really great you have an RE who’s being cautious and covering all the bases before transfer.
@Worldtravler0522 It really is a cruel joke how quickly it plummets! Also, 60lbs is a fantastic accomplishment! I definitely gained 10lbs just in the last cycle, so I’m really impressed that you’re losing weight during IVF and all that you’ve been through. Keep up the good work! You’re really an inspiration!
AFM Nothing to report. We have a pre-op appointment with our RE about the hysteroscopy next Tuesday.
QOTW I left DH in the hot city to work the rest of the week and went to my family’s lake house (my office gave us the 4-6 off). We BBQ’d and watched all the fireworks.
@Bababatty you may not feel like it today but you can climb your way back out again and find hope again. It does get harder and harder as the losses happen but it also speaks to your grit and ability to not give up. If you ever need to chat I'd be happy to, it helps having someone who gets it. Thanks for the kudos on the weight loss, it's taken 4 years and some of these pounds I've lost once or twice.
AFM- This might be a repeat, sorry! The hysteroscopy went well and wasn't as bad as I expected. They took 2 biopsies of the lining and they will send one of the samples to someone at Yale to take a look at. Hoping someone can crack the code and we can start moving forward again with actually TTC. We go back on July 30th for our follow up with the recurrent loss specialist to come up with a game plan. I have to call the immunologist office and reschedule again because I will have my period during the scheduled appointment and also it would be the same week as my follow up and I can't swing Chicago twice in one week.
QOTW- We did nothing and I loved every moment of it.
Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010 DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation TTC since December 2014 Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 2 snow babies
@Worldtravler0522 I'm glad the procedure wasn't too bad. It all sounds like really good progress, I'm really hopeful they find something that can help the treatment process @Bababatty I hope the hysteroscopy isn't too uncomfortable next week and the medical staff are really supportive. Sending lots of hope your way. How are stims going ladies? I hope all the travel everyone is doing isn't too taxing. Afm I finished letrozole this week so first bloods will be Monday.
@Bababatty thank you for starting the thread this week! GL with your pre-op appointment next week and good call on leaving YH in the hot city and going to your family's lake house for the holiday. Sounds divine and I hope it was relaxing and healing for you. I'm so glad you are liking the acupuncture! I don't think it's a magic bullet for IF, but I do believe it can have some fertility benefits, especially if done during certain moments in the IVF process. I consider it a part of my self-care routine and I think it's worth it for that aspect alone. I hope you can find a solution to the insurance issue and are able to continue. Haha no we won't be vacationing with the rest of the French this summer. DH works in the hotel industry and it's his busiest season. Unless we have a specific reason to go somewhere in the summer, like a wedding or family gathering, he usually sticks around and covers for the rest of his staff and then takes his vacation in the Fall. I think he will have two weeks in early October this year.
@Worldtravler0522 I'm so glad to hear the hysteroscopy went well and wasn't too bad. Will you get the biopsy results before the 30th or do you have to wait until then? Fx you get a clear answer and solid plan to move forward.
@mighty-mouse excited for you to start another cycle and I hope you have a good response this time. How are you feeling overall?
AFM, I will have my appointment with the genetic oncologist next week and I'm a bit nervous, mostly because I don't know what to expect. I hope she doesn't want to do something that may delay us. I also hope she speaks some English or else I will have to explain a lot of complicated family history in my less than perfect French.
Also, AF is on it's way out and I'm happy to report that everything is feeling good down there so far lol! I really appreciate all your suggestions for treating yeast infections. I'm going to keep my eye on it this cycle and if it returns, will definitely seek medical advice.
QOTW What did you do for the holiday (if you’re in the US)? If you’re
not in the US, any fun holidays coming up and how do you celebrate?
I am American, but don't currently live in the US, so besides DH wishing me a happy 4th, we did nothing to celebrate. We do have France's national holiday coming up on July 14th, but it's not quite the same as our 4th of July. We'll be in Paris for the holiday, but probably won't do anything special to celebrate and will try to avoid the big military parade they have each year. I'm not even sure they do fireworks in Paris anymore with some of the attacks that have happened in the last few years.
ETA: ew didn't mean to end that on such a down note! I checked and they do still have the fireworks, so maybe we'll see them from a distance!
Me: 37 DH: 35
Married since February 2012
TTC since February 2017
10 natural cycles = all BFN
Dx: weak ovulation with possible LPD; Rx: Clomid (4 rounds); Puregon + Ovidrel + TI (3 rounds) 7 medicated cycles (see above) = BFN
During the last medicated cycle, they found a small cyst on an ovary and ordered an MRI to check for endometriosis
May 2018 switched to an RE and did more testing while trying naturally
@bababatty I have an IF specific IG account and it's a nice way to sort of photo journal the journey. I have a few people I know in real life follow me (my mom and 4 closest friends) but everyone else is pretty much an IF account like mine. It's a great community.
@worldtravler0522 60lbs is AMAZING!!! Glad the hysteroscopy went well. Hope it results in some answers and progress for you.
@mirabelle33 fingers crossed for an English speaking specialist - this stuff is hard enough to explain in our native tongue.
@emmasemm happy to hear you're cycle is continuing. Fingers crossed for successful egg retrieval this weekend!!
AFM: Had our lining check today for FET and we are still on schedule for 7/17 transfer. The Doc said my arsenic levels, while technically in the "Normal Range", were higher than he likes to see (mine were 6, he wants<5) but nothing alarming. Just drink filtered/distilled water and avoid excessive exhaust or fossil fuel fumes. My NK panel was also higher than he likes, but didn't give specific numbers. We will be treated with prednisone through 12 weeks if our FET is successful due to the NK results.
QOTW: We stayed home and comforted the dogs through the fireworks. Our old girl actually held up better than expected.
@Worldtravler0522 Thank you so much! It feels like that pit gets deeper every time, as you definitely know. I’ve also put a lot of pressure on myself (to give my parents grandchildren—although they are not pressuring us) and DH has added pressure by proclaiming in the last two months that he wants any children we have to be in college by the time he’s 60 (he’s 38 now). I yelled at him the other week about how this was not helping my state of mind, but ironically all this artificial pressure keeps propelling me back out of the pit again because I tell myself I can’t stop; I have to meet these demands. Probably not terribly healthy but I does force me to carry on. Also, please, same to you if you ever just need to talk with someone who gets a little bit of what you’ve been going through, I am always open. *lots of hugs!*
And I’m so happy your hysteroscopy went well! Is the specialist at Yale looking for similar things as your lab, or digging deeper? That’s really great that they’re collaborating outside of the clinic for answers. I am super anxious for you to find out the results. End of July can’t come soon enough!
@mighty-mouse Thanks! Next week is just the pre-op appointment (I phrased my sentence poorly); the hysteroscopy will be at the end of July. Good luck with your bloodwork on Monday!
@mirabelle33 You’ve mentioned before that you can’t vacation in August and I forgot—so sorry!! Honestly, I’d probably rather vacation in an off-season anyway; fewer crowds and I’m sure it’s cheaper. Good luck with your appointment next week! Will YH be with you to help if she doesn’t speak English well?
The July 14th holiday sounds fun; I prefer to watch these things from distances, too, lol. I wouldn’t blame Paris for not doing fireworks, but it is nice that they’re carrying on despite everything that has happened.
@ChristenMA83 I think you and @emmasemm have inspired me to start an IF Instagram account. I’ve wanted to share things on IG but not with distant friends and colleagues. I’ve heard about the IG community before and it would be great to be a part of that, too.
That is great news about the FET schedule and his plans for dealing with abnormal levels. I had no idea you could be on prednisolone for so long! Are there any side effects about which you need to be worried? They FET will be here sooner than you know! FX everything continues to look good.
@emmasemm I saw on the other thread that you’ve got a couple good follies and you’ve triggered! Hooray! Good luck with your ER tomorrow!
@Bababatty no worries! There are definitely lots of advantages to taking vacation in the off-season, especially here where everyone tends to go to the same places and they get really overcrowded. There's less daylight when we go later in the season, but that doesn't really bother me too much. Depending on when we get started with treatment in September, I'm a little wary of going too far so I think we might just plan a road trip that can be easily cancelled if necessary.
Alas, I'll be on my own at the appointment this week as DH has to work, but I'll muddle through it somehow if I have to. I've already made a family tree to show how I'm related to the women in our family who have had breast cancer, so hopefully that will help reduce the complicated explanations.
I also wanted to say that I have also put a lot of pressure on myself to give my parents grandchildren. They are doing a pretty good job of not pressuring us, but I know my mom is very anxious to have one and I struggle with it a lot. DH is always quick to remind me that we're doing this first and foremost for ourselves and that we're the only two that really matter in the process, so that helps. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I understand how difficult it can be to navigate the demands we put on ourselves or that come from others. Take care of yourself
Me: 37 DH: 35
Married since February 2012
TTC since February 2017
10 natural cycles = all BFN
Dx: weak ovulation with possible LPD; Rx: Clomid (4 rounds); Puregon + Ovidrel + TI (3 rounds) 7 medicated cycles (see above) = BFN
During the last medicated cycle, they found a small cyst on an ovary and ordered an MRI to check for endometriosis
May 2018 switched to an RE and did more testing while trying naturally
Oh man, I have almost no external pressure to start a family. I mean, none other than what I get from general society. My dad, I think because my parents struggled to have me, is fatalistic and very aware of the challenges. He actually said, when we did IVF the first time, that they were just lucky they didn't have to do that, and that they feel very blessed it worked out for them, but that struggling to conceive was one of the single most painful times in his life. My husband is similar in his fatalism, but stresses me out when he says things like: "Ok, this is the last round of IVF. And we're not going to do anything other than IVF." He says that me and the dog are enough for him, and I don't get any pressure to have children from him, but I do get pressure for all the treatments to be over.
So I don't know what keeps propelling me. I don't know if it's stubbornness, tenacity, denial or even a general disregard for my body and money? Sometimes I feel more like a robot than a human.
AFM: I spoke too soon the other week. I think I mentioned that I was going to do some testing this cycle, before we start IVF round #2? They'd wanted me to do another HSG, but the guy who does them is on vacation, so I will be having another hysteroscopy next week, instead of the HSG. My understanding is they want to take another look and see if anything's changed over the last year or so, and make sure we are (somewhat) prepared for any transfers, if we are lucky enough to get a PGS normal embryo.
In other news, I re-did some bloodwork last week. Two years ago, when I started treatment, my AMH was 1.43 ng/mL. Now it's 0.80 ng/mL. I just turned 34. When I got the news, I cried. I mean, my IVF results *might* be ok - last year, we got 13 eggs. But my AMH is low - I'd say very low for my age - and it's declining relatively quickly.
In any event, it definitely underscored for me that we are making the right decision to proceed with another round. DH has been torn about doing another round, but I think these results, for him, cemented that we've made the right call. I'll start suppressing with my next period.
@bababatty on my IF IG account I do not follow and do not accept to be followed by anyone I know. I’ve kept it totally private. And thanks for the spells, Hogwarts has missed out by not accepting you ;-)
@worldtravler0522 oh I really hope they can solve the mystery for you!
@mirabelle33 full sympathies for the whole having to explain your medical history in another language. Though I have to say that seeing so many doctors over the last years has really improved my German! Side benefit I was not expecting!
@funkykey once again sorry for the AMH news... and swapping HSG and Hysteroscopy... I mean they both show things but not necessarily the same things in the same way... ahhh... Also if it were up to me I would probably keep going with IVF retrievals as long as I have eggs and can find the money somewhere... this is where DH comes into our relationship as he is the one who protects me from myself. I see how much stress I put on him when I have to go through the procedures too. Yesterday afternoon when I was at the airport throwing up after the ER on our way home for five minutes I thought ok next ER is the last one. By the time we got home and I managed to keep some food down I was like “yeah!!! 20 More retrievals are no problem!!!”. So I really do need saving from myself... else doing retrievals would be my full time job for the next few years...
And the update! ER went well (just the being sick after was a big mess), we got 5 eggs from 5 follicles, 3 were mature, 2 fertilized normally and have started dividing. Now to wait until Wednesday to hear if they both make it to freeze on day 3 or not... any more prayers, voodoo, spells or good vibes you have spare would be much appreciated as always! Oh and my clinic especially the embryologist is really intrigued by how big my follicles have to get at trigger to yield mature eggs... normally older ladies trigger earlier, but my ovaries like to be different! The doctor even said they have “attitude”!
Me 43 DH 45 Married 12/2016 TTC #1 since 04/2015 AMA, DOR (AMH 0.65, AFC 2-4) and autoimmune issues (RA, APS), low TSH, adenomyosis 7 retrievals, 3 transfers
Jun19 FET BFP, due date 7th March 2020, DD born Feb20
Sep17 IVF1 - 1ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN Nov17 IVF2 - 1ER, 0F Jan18 IVF3 - 3ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN Feb18 - second opinion and additional testing Apr18 IVF4 - cancelled (E2 too high) May/Jun18 IVF4 - 4ER, 0M, 1F, 1 frozen day 3 (not best quality) Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - 5 ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (not best quality) Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - 4ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (good quality) Aug/Sep18 IVF7 - cancelled (cyst) Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - 3ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen Day 3 (excellent quality) Oct18 IVF8 - Cancelled (cyst and too low TSH) Oct18-Jan19 bringing TSH under control Feb19 ERA and hysteroscopy Mar19 Investigation for fibroid and adenomyosis Apr19 adenomyosis confirmed, polyps removed Jun19 FET after 2 months Lupron, autoimmune protocol, transferred two day 3 frozen embryos
Sep17 - Pergoveris 10-17 Sep, Orgalutran 15-18 Sep, Ovitrelle 18 Sep, ER 20 Sep for 2 follies, 1 mature egg, fertilized, ET 1x 2d 4-cell embryo 22/09, 05/10 BFN Nov17 IVF2 - Pergoveris 2-14 Nov, Orgalutran 5-14 Nov, Ovitrelle 15 Nov, ER 17 Nov for 3 follies, 1 mature egg, did not fertilize Jan18 IVF3 - Pergoveris 30 Dec - 8 Jan, Orgalutran 5-8 Jan, Ovitrelle 9 Jan, ER 11 Jan 3 eggs, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, ET 1x 4d 12-cell embryo 15/01, 24/01 BFN May/Jun18 IVF4 - Rekovelle 25-29 May, Menogon 30May - 2Jun, Zomacton 25 27 29 31 May and 2Jun, Cetrotide 30May - 3Jun, Gonasi 3Jun, ER 5Jun 4 eggs, none mature, two matured overnight, 1 fertilized with ICSI, Frozen day 3 but not good quality Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - Rekovelle 21-24 June, Menogon 25Jun-3Jul, Puregon 4-5Jul, Zomacton 21 23 25 27 29 Jun, Cetrotide 25Jun-5Jul, Gonasi 6Jul, ER 8Jul 5 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 but not good quality Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - Rekovelle 26-29 Jul, Menogon 30Jul-7Aug, Buserelin 26Jul-7Aug, Zomacton 26 28 30 Jul 1 3 Aug, Gonasi 7Aug, ER 9Aug 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized (normal IVF), 2 frozen day 3 good quality Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - Menogon 19-30Sep, Buserelin 19-30Sep, Zomacton 19 21 23 25 27 Sep, Ovitrelle 1 Oct, ER 3 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 excellent quality
Fav Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
@bababatty I'll admit I'm a little freaked out about the potential side effects I've read about prednisone during pregnancy (low birth rate, preterm labor, cleft lip/pallet, bone density). But I keep reminding myself that 1)potential side effects doesn't mean it happens in every case & 2)if the alternative is a MC then it's worth the risk. &3)My doctor is better than Dr. Google. My dosage is very very small and the side effects are less common if only taken in the first trimester so I'm going to try not to worry about it. I would love to follow your IG journey if you do start an IF account there. Sorry you're dealing with outside pressure on baby front, I know we put enough pressure on ourselves without reminders from the rest of the world. ((hugs)) Thankfully the only one I have to deal with is one well-meaning lady at work that keeps reminding me if I want kids I need to do it soon.
@mirabelle33 hope the appointment goes well this week. The family tree is a great idea to help explain the history.
@funkykey I'm more like you in the lack of external pressure. I think I've mentioned before, but DH has said similar things like our little family is enough if we aren't able to have a child. And I think my parents, while excited at the prospect of another grandchild, are more concerned about my well being through the process. Sorry your AMH came back lower than expected. Hopefully that the last of the snags in this second round of testing.
@emmasemm I can't imagine having to go through all the travel on top of the normal IVF stress. You're very strong, I'm not sure I could do that part. I'm so hoping your two fertilized eggs stay strong on their journey to blastocyst!
And the update! ER went well (just the being sick after was a big mess), we got 5 eggs from 5 follicles, 3 were mature, 2 fertilized normally and have started dividing. Now to wait until Wednesday to hear if they both make it to freeze on day 3 or not... any more prayers, voodoo, spells or good vibes you have spare would be much appreciated as always! Oh and my clinic especially the embryologist is really intrigued by how big my follicles have to get at trigger to yield mature eggs... normally older ladies trigger earlier, but my ovaries like to be different! The doctor even said they have “attitude”!
AMAZING!!!! 5 eggs?! Is that your best yet? Keeping major FX for your 2!
@emmasemm that great you have 2 eggs going strong. Hope u can spend some time looking after yourself until u get to day 3. @funkykey I'm sorry to hear about your AMH results. Hopefully it stays steady for a few years now. It's hard getting news like that and it's OK to be upset.
My twin is 20 weeks along with her second. While my family is being super supportive it's always hanging in the air when we are talking about her scans etc. She also had to do letrozole for both pregnancies and this time we had a treatment cycle that we started just 2 days apart so I entirely assumed it would work for both of us, cause you know, twins.
Re: TTTC Check-In Week of 7/5/18
Thank you, everyone, for your really kind thoughts and words. I love this community so much. You really know how to pick a gal up when she’s feeling like she’s at the bottom of a well (again) and doesn’t know if she has the strength to climb out (again).
Our wee foster kitten arrived Monday and she is ADORABLE and also a huge distraction because she has some tummy trouble that we have to nurse her through. So that’s fun!
@emmasemm Thank you for the IG tip! I follow some IF people, but I’ve been contemplating starting an IF-specific account. I’m glad to hear it’s pretty easy. Do you have people you know following you, or is it just for IF people? I’m debating if I’d want people I know following me because part of us still wants SOME element of surprise, even though most of our friends and family know we’re doing IVF. Now I’m going to go look up that realstumpycat, too. ;-)
I am SO glad you got to continue this cycle! Sadly, I never was accepted at Hogwarts, but I’ll definitely send any spells your way that I can muster! Grow follies, grow!
@mirabelle33 I’m enjoying the acupuncture! I really do feel more relaxed after it. DH is dubious about its benefits fertility-wise, and it’s not covered by my insurance, so we’ll probably have a discussion about it in our RE’s office (who incidentally has cards for a different acupuncturist on his desk). I maintain we should be trying everything within reason that our RE deems safe at this point.
I hope you get some suggestions about the yeast infection? Since all of France is on vacation, will you get one, too? Vacation at least helps the time pass.
@ChristenMA83 Ah, I figured it was something like that. It’s really great you have an RE who’s being cautious and covering all the bases before transfer.
@Worldtravler0522 It really is a cruel joke how quickly it plummets! Also, 60lbs is a fantastic accomplishment! I definitely gained 10lbs just in the last cycle, so I’m really impressed that you’re losing weight during IVF and all that you’ve been through. Keep up the good work! You’re really an inspiration!
AFM Nothing to report. We have a pre-op appointment with our RE about the hysteroscopy next Tuesday.
QOTW I left DH in the hot city to work the rest of the week and went to my family’s lake house (my office gave us the 4-6 off). We BBQ’d and watched all the fireworks.
QOTW- We did nothing and I loved every moment of it.
DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
TTC since December 2014
Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy
FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks
FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days
Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good
2 snow babies
@Bababatty I hope the hysteroscopy isn't too uncomfortable next week and the medical staff are really supportive. Sending lots of hope your way.
How are stims going ladies? I hope all the travel everyone is doing isn't too taxing.
Afm I finished letrozole this week so first bloods will be Monday.
ETA: ew didn't mean to end that on such a down note! I checked and they do still have the fireworks, so maybe we'll see them from a distance!
7 medicated cycles (see above) = BFN
DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
TTC since December 2014
Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy
FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks
FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days
Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good
2 snow babies
@emmasemm happy to hear you're cycle is continuing. Fingers crossed for successful egg retrieval this weekend!!
TTC History in spoiler Instagram
Married Oct 2007
TTC Since Oct 2010 - MFI Diagnosis 2012 (Morphology 1% + High DNA Frag)
IUI x2 in 2012 - BFN
IVF #1 Feb 2018 - 9 Retrieved - 8 Mature - 5 Fertilized - 2 Snowbabies - no testing
FET#1 March 2018 - BFP - MMC May @ 10w4d
FET#2 July 2018 - BFN
IVF #2 Nov 2018 - 10 Retrieved - 10 Mature - 8 Fertilized - 2 Snowbabies - no testing
@Worldtravler0522 Thank you so much! It feels like that pit gets deeper every time, as you definitely know. I’ve also put a lot of pressure on myself (to give my parents grandchildren—although they are not pressuring us) and DH has added pressure by proclaiming in the last two months that he wants any children we have to be in college by the time he’s 60 (he’s 38 now). I yelled at him the other week about how this was not helping my state of mind, but ironically all this artificial pressure keeps propelling me back out of the pit again because I tell myself I can’t stop; I have to meet these demands. Probably not terribly healthy but I does force me to carry on. Also, please, same to you if you ever just need to talk with someone who gets a little bit of what you’ve been going through, I am always open. *lots of hugs!*
And I’m so happy your hysteroscopy went well! Is the specialist at Yale looking for similar things as your lab, or digging deeper? That’s really great that they’re collaborating outside of the clinic for answers. I am super anxious for you to find out the results. End of July can’t come soon enough!
@mighty-mouse Thanks! Next week is just the pre-op appointment (I phrased my sentence poorly); the hysteroscopy will be at the end of July. Good luck with your bloodwork on Monday!
@mirabelle33 You’ve mentioned before that you can’t vacation in August and I forgot—so sorry!! Honestly, I’d probably rather vacation in an off-season anyway; fewer crowds and I’m sure it’s cheaper. Good luck with your appointment next week! Will YH be with you to help if she doesn’t speak English well?
The July 14th holiday sounds fun; I prefer to watch these things from distances, too, lol. I wouldn’t blame Paris for not doing fireworks, but it is nice that they’re carrying on despite everything that has happened.
@ChristenMA83 I think you and @emmasemm have inspired me to start an IF Instagram account. I’ve wanted to share things on IG but not with distant friends and colleagues. I’ve heard about the IG community before and it would be great to be a part of that, too.
That is great news about the FET schedule and his plans for dealing with abnormal levels. I had no idea you could be on prednisolone for so long! Are there any side effects about which you need to be worried? They FET will be here sooner than you know! FX everything continues to look good.
@emmasemm I saw on the other thread that you’ve got a couple good follies and you’ve triggered! Hooray! Good luck with your ER tomorrow!
7 medicated cycles (see above) = BFN
@ChristenMA83 - ah, so close to FET! Great news!
@Worldtravler0522 - July 30th (or the date you choose) will be here before you know it!
@mirabelle33 - your family tree sounds great. I'm sure it will help along your appointment!
@Bababatty - thanks for starting the thread!
Oh man, I have almost no external pressure to start a family. I mean, none other than what I get from general society. My dad, I think because my parents struggled to have me, is fatalistic and very aware of the challenges. He actually said, when we did IVF the first time, that they were just lucky they didn't have to do that, and that they feel very blessed it worked out for them, but that struggling to conceive was one of the single most painful times in his life. My husband is similar in his fatalism, but stresses me out when he says things like: "Ok, this is the last round of IVF. And we're not going to do anything other than IVF." He says that me and the dog are enough for him, and I don't get any pressure to have children from him, but I do get pressure for all the treatments to be over.
So I don't know what keeps propelling me. I don't know if it's stubbornness, tenacity, denial or even a general disregard for my body and money? Sometimes I feel more like a robot than a human.
AFM: I spoke too soon the other week. I think I mentioned that I was going to do some testing this cycle, before we start IVF round #2? They'd wanted me to do another HSG, but the guy who does them is on vacation, so I will be having another hysteroscopy next week, instead of the HSG. My understanding is they want to take another look and see if anything's changed over the last year or so, and make sure we are (somewhat) prepared for any transfers, if we are lucky enough to get a PGS normal embryo.
In other news, I re-did some bloodwork last week. Two years ago, when I started treatment, my AMH was 1.43 ng/mL. Now it's 0.80 ng/mL. I just turned 34. When I got the news, I cried. I mean, my IVF results *might* be ok - last year, we got 13 eggs. But my AMH is low - I'd say very low for my age - and it's declining relatively quickly.
In any event, it definitely underscored for me that we are making the right decision to proceed with another round. DH has been torn about doing another round, but I think these results, for him, cemented that we've made the right call. I'll start suppressing with my next period.
And thanks for the spells, Hogwarts has missed out by not accepting you ;-)
@worldtravler0522 oh I really hope they can solve the mystery for you!
@mirabelle33 full sympathies for the whole having to explain your medical history in another language. Though I have to say that seeing so many doctors over the last years has really improved my German! Side benefit I was not expecting!
@funkykey once again sorry for the AMH news... and swapping HSG and Hysteroscopy... I mean they both show things but not necessarily the same things in the same way... ahhh...
Also if it were up to me I would probably keep going with IVF retrievals as long as I have eggs and can find the money somewhere... this is where DH comes into our relationship as he is the one who protects me from myself. I see how much stress I put on him when I have to go through the procedures too. Yesterday afternoon when I was at the airport throwing up after the ER on our way home for five minutes I thought ok next ER is the last one. By the time we got home and I managed to keep some food down I was like “yeah!!! 20 More retrievals are no problem!!!”. So I really do need saving from myself... else doing retrievals would be my full time job for the next few years...
And the update! ER went well (just the being sick after was a big mess), we got 5 eggs from 5 follicles, 3 were mature, 2 fertilized normally and have started dividing. Now to wait until Wednesday to hear if they both make it to freeze on day 3 or not... any more prayers, voodoo, spells or good vibes you have spare would be much appreciated as always!
Oh and my clinic especially the embryologist is really intrigued by how big my follicles have to get at trigger to yield mature eggs... normally older ladies trigger earlier, but my ovaries like to be different! The doctor even said they have “attitude”!
Married 12/2016
TTC #1 since 04/2015
AMA, DOR (AMH 0.65, AFC 2-4) and autoimmune issues (RA, APS), low TSH, adenomyosis
7 retrievals, 3 transfers
Nov17 IVF2 - 1ER, 0F
Jan18 IVF3 - 3ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
Feb18 - second opinion and additional testing
Apr18 IVF4 - cancelled (E2 too high)
May/Jun18 IVF4 - 4ER, 0M, 1F, 1 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - 5 ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - 4ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (good quality)
Aug/Sep18 IVF7 - cancelled (cyst)
Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - 3ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen Day 3 (excellent quality)
Oct18 IVF8 - Cancelled (cyst and too low TSH)
Oct18-Jan19 bringing TSH under control
Feb19 ERA and hysteroscopy
Mar19 Investigation for fibroid and adenomyosis
Apr19 adenomyosis confirmed, polyps removed
Jun19 FET after 2 months Lupron, autoimmune protocol, transferred two day 3 frozen embryos
Nov17 IVF2 - Pergoveris 2-14 Nov, Orgalutran 5-14 Nov, Ovitrelle 15 Nov, ER 17 Nov for 3 follies, 1 mature egg, did not fertilize
Jan18 IVF3 - Pergoveris 30 Dec - 8 Jan, Orgalutran 5-8 Jan, Ovitrelle 9 Jan, ER 11 Jan 3 eggs, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, ET 1x 4d 12-cell embryo 15/01, 24/01 BFN
May/Jun18 IVF4 - Rekovelle 25-29 May, Menogon 30May - 2Jun, Zomacton 25 27 29 31 May and 2Jun, Cetrotide 30May - 3Jun, Gonasi 3Jun, ER 5Jun 4 eggs, none mature, two matured overnight, 1 fertilized with ICSI, Frozen day 3 but not good quality
Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - Rekovelle 21-24 June, Menogon 25Jun-3Jul, Puregon 4-5Jul, Zomacton 21 23 25 27 29 Jun, Cetrotide 25Jun-5Jul, Gonasi 6Jul, ER 8Jul 5 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 but not good quality
Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - Rekovelle 26-29 Jul, Menogon 30Jul-7Aug, Buserelin 26Jul-7Aug, Zomacton 26 28 30 Jul 1 3 Aug, Gonasi 7Aug, ER 9Aug 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized (normal IVF), 2 frozen day 3 good quality
Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - Menogon 19-30Sep, Buserelin 19-30Sep, Zomacton 19 21 23 25 27 Sep, Ovitrelle 1 Oct, ER 3 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 excellent quality
Fav Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
I would love to follow your IG journey if you do start an IF account there. Sorry you're dealing with outside pressure on baby front, I know we put enough pressure on ourselves without reminders from the rest of the world. ((hugs)) Thankfully the only one I have to deal with is one well-meaning lady at work that keeps reminding me if I want kids I need to do it soon.
TTC History in spoiler Instagram
Married Oct 2007
TTC Since Oct 2010 - MFI Diagnosis 2012 (Morphology 1% + High DNA Frag)
IUI x2 in 2012 - BFN
IVF #1 Feb 2018 - 9 Retrieved - 8 Mature - 5 Fertilized - 2 Snowbabies - no testing
FET#1 March 2018 - BFP - MMC May @ 10w4d
FET#2 July 2018 - BFN
IVF #2 Nov 2018 - 10 Retrieved - 10 Mature - 8 Fertilized - 2 Snowbabies - no testing
@funkykey I'm sorry to hear about your AMH results. Hopefully it stays steady for a few years now. It's hard getting news like that and it's OK to be upset.
My twin is 20 weeks along with her second. While my family is being super supportive it's always hanging in the air when we are talking about her scans etc. She also had to do letrozole for both pregnancies and this time we had a treatment cycle that we started just 2 days apart so I entirely assumed it would work for both of us, cause you know, twins.