December 2018 Moms

UO Thursday!

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Re: UO Thursday!

  • @Katzalia and @katy0990 this might be a dumb question, but is it the norm to wake a baby every hour to feed it, or just when it wakes up and cries?  I was thinking baby would wake up every couple hours on it's own to be fed....I feel so dumb.  FTM. Sorry!  
  • @scaredunprepared this isn’t a dumb question at all.  All babies vary a little but most infants can’t go much longer than two hours without feeding.  My DD was on the clock every two hours for.ev.a. I couldn’t get her to go longer.  However I was told to wake her after three hour for the first month or so.  
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  • @scaredunprepared no you usually are feeding every 2-3 hrs. And should take 20-30 min. 

    But I had low milk supply and baby had a tongue tie and poor latch, and wasn’t regaining weight properly, so I had to do feedings on the clock every 2.5 hours. And the whole crazy feeding routine took like an hour ana half, so we only got at best an hour of sleep before we had to start again. So my experience was not normal and hopefully you get at least twice as much rest as I was getting.  
  • @LLynde5 thank you. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing! I guess the doctor will tell me if that's necessary?
  • @Katzalia I hope you also get more sleep than you did last time!
  • @scaredunprepared I just had this conversation with a dear friend of mine who is having her first baby at the same hospital that I did.  They gave us a worksheet that gave you estimated times to feed on one side and diaper outputs on the other for each day.  I made copies of it and used them for weeks.  Also if you feel you need a little more attention in the hospital to get your system down ask the nurses.  Mine were all so willing to help.

    Also my hubby bought the nurses food/coffee/snacks for each and every shift change as a little thank you.  Call it bribery if you want but they went way above and beyond. I showed up scared and left feeling very ready for my new role as Mom!
  • @katy0990 you described our life! ABe ate SOOOOOO slow. I'd nurse for 15 minutes, then hand him to my husband and pump while he bottle feed him formula because I wasn't producing much. We also set the alarm! I didn't mind that because it became a routine!
    *Loss 8/2014*
    *Rainbow 8/2015*
    *Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
    *Loss of Twin 5/2018*

  • @LLynde5 that hospital sounds wonderful! I hope my experience is as great as yours was.  I will tell SO to make coffee runs each shift change as bribery if needed!
  • @katy0990 I am so sorry you had to go through all that! It sounds terrible, especially because no one believed you/ listened to your concerns.  And as a pediatric OT myself, I am happy to hear that an OT was able to help!  Most people have no idea what OT even is.  As a mom to be I am going to be so pushy if I feel like something is wrong.  Thank you for sharing. 
  • What everyone else said. Also I wanted to second having formula on hand even if you plan to only breastfeed. I was in a desperate situation where my baby was feeding for over 5 hours straight and I knew I had nothing left and she was screaming for more food. Maybe she was cluster feeding, I don’t know. But having formula in my house was a life saver that day and that’s when I started supplementing. It saved my sanity.
    **June Siggy Challenge - P.I.L.Fs**
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  • @scaredunprepared not a dumb question! It can definitely vary from one to the next, but following your gut like @katy0990 said it your best bet. Which by the way girl, I'm so sorry you went through that hell for 8 weeks. DS was 8lb10oz at birth so even after dropping a lb by the time we left the hospital he was still a plump enough weight that my Dr never said to wake him if he sleeps for more than 2-3 hours. He woke up often enough that I never had to think about waking him. She also said once he reaches ~10 lbs that definitely don't wake him.

    Re: long nights. They were so so hard for me. DH is gone 3 days a week & by the time night rolled around on night 2 he was gone I was so depressed, nervous, sad and just all the feels. It's like once night comes it was a lonely feeling for me. Thankfully I have lots of family around to come by and help/say hi, but at the end of the week I just wanted DH home.
    Married: 6/6/14
    DS: 12/20/16
    EDD: 11/29/18
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  • Feeding every 2 hours even at night!?  I don't know what I was expecting, but not that.  For STM+, when did you baby start sleeping in longer chunks?

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  • @kadeephd yep  :# it's really hard! Also, it easily takes 45 min to an hour to feed, so it's not like the 2 hours starts after you get back to bed, it's typically counted from the beginning of the feeding session. AFM, this only lasted a couple of weeks to a month before he started stretching it out more. 
    Married: 6/6/14
    DS: 12/20/16
    EDD: 11/29/18
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  • @kadeephd unfortunately yes. Some babies wake up every 2-3 hours for MONTHS (my niece woke up every 2-3 hours until she was 1 :# ). It took maybe 4 weeks or so to get longer chunks.  I was really worried about my ability to fall back asleep after feeding, but luckily I was such a zombie as soon as I hit the bed I was out. Which is why it is SO very important to have your husband/family/friends/partner/hired help/anyone to help out in the beginning.  I remember being exhausted but surviving, and I had a lot of support.  I did MOTN duties alone, because I was nursing, but I made sure to put the baby down a lot in the bassinet in the beginning to try to get some rest whenever the eff I could. 
  • @kadeephd Honestly? Maggie only got to the point where she was regularly sleeping through the night about three months ago; she turned two in April. That said, it varies widely by kid, and we never once had to wake her up just to feed her, every two hours or otherwise (biliruben normal, lost only a little weight in the hospital, exceeded her birth weight by 1 week old, my supply was pretty much fine from the time my milk came in). From the get-go it wasn't super unusual for her to go 3, 4, a few times even 5 hours at a time (which doesn't sound like much, but you'd be amazed how refreshing 5 hours feels with a newborn); she'd just nurse what felt like non-stop all day while she was awake.

    It's definitely good to be prepared for the worst, but it's by no means a guarantee. 
  • @kadeephd Yes, girl. It’s hard. I can’t say exactly when she started sleeping more than 2 or so hours. The first 6-8 weeks were the hardest for me. It got somewhat easier after that. I think that’s probably when she started sleeping a 4 hour stretch. 4 hours sounds like nothing but it’s amaaaaazing. She woke up a couple times a night, sometimes more, until we sleep trained around 6 or 7 months. Better after that.
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  • Sleep is hard. I go to bed early (just after my kids) because I know I’ll be up as they wake up in the night. They don’t wake up because they are hungry now, but instead because they are scared, are just looking for us, have growing pains, etc. Also IME as soon as you think you have it down...they change or go through a different phase. 
  • :scream: Maybe I can start pumping after a few weeks so my husband can do some of those night feedings?  Is that realistic?

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  • @kadeephd if you want to keep your supply up you’d have to be pumping while the baby was feeding so you’d be awake anyways. I know some people in my previous BMB would have their husbands change the babies and hand them to the moms once they were ready to eat so that it wasn’t all them at night. Or for babies who need help to get back to sleep after eating the husbands would help with that. 
  • Yes to what others have said about NB sleeping. And then just as life is starting to get semi normal you hit the 4-month sleep regression. 


    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
  • @kadeephd  it is rough when you are going through it, but those first few months really do fly by when you look back. It really varies by child. Some sleep in 4 hour stretches from the beginning and others take weeks or months to get there. One thing I would recommend though, is not to turn on any lights and make the feeding as uneventful as possible. That way, as they get older, they only want to get up to eat and don’t expect to be up playing before or after.
    I feel like what you mentioned about pumping is one of the hardest parts that people don’t realize until they do it. Your body is programmed, for lack of a better word, to produce the amount that your baby takes. So, if baby is waking up at 2 AM, you need to either feed baby or pump then, so your body produces milk at that time. 
  • @kadeephd one thing that really helped me was getting up right when DD started her hunger cues. We used a sidecar bassinet so her face was literally right next to mine and I would hear her just starting to stir. Change the diaper first so then when you nurse you won't wake up baby having to change the diaper. Also, I know it's really tempting to jump on FB or TB but if you stay off you'll fall asleep faster too. 
  • ebk20ebk20 member
    I recommend downloading games on your phone. I would fall asleep when nursing my LO in the night which just isn't safe. You spend a lot of time just sitting nursing that first 6 months.

    I also second the needing less sleep. Before kids I needed minimum 8 hours of sleep a night. My son has never been a good sleep and I've learned I can function just fine on just a few hours. I don't enjoy it but even with no sleep you have stuff to do. 
  • Back to the camping... I love camping! We're actually about to leave for our one and only camping trip of the summer. But... we're bringing two twin-sized air mattresses, all the pillows, and I've pre-chopped and pre-cooked as much of the food as possible so we're not just eating hotdogs all weekend. Ha. Fajitas tonight! :) As a city dweller, it's amazing to get out into nature for a few nights. We go for two nights usually, do a 4-5 mile hike on the Saturday and then play board games the rest of the day at the campsite. Lol. It is work though to get ready for, so we don't go more than 1-2x per year.
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  • I guess I will survive it.  Thanks for the reality check, ladies.

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  • kadeephdkadeephd member
    edited July 2018
    @Katzalia It sure seems like 3 full time jobs. I'm worried about my plan to go back to school and my GAship full time after 4-5 weeks. :# My husband will have 10 weeks off so he will be able to help a lot the first six weeks I am back.

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  • @kadeephd Can you take online classes? I continued with my online grad school classes when DS was born. It actually gave me something to do during 2 am nursing sessions.
  • @katy0990 I can't do online classes in my program.  I have to finish certain requirements next year too and won't have much flexibility at all on the timing of classes since they only offer one section for PhD courses.

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  • @kadeephd That stinks! Can your husband take the first week and then go back to work while you are home, so he can use his additional 9 weeks after you are already back to school? 
  • @katy0990 No :'(  His work requires the leave to start the day the baby is born!  I don't see why they aren't more flexible about it, especially because 1.5 of the weeks soon after the baby is born will be off for Christmas break (he works at a school) and that counts towards the 10 weeks.  I guess we can't complain too much since it's awesome that they provide paid leave at all.

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  • @kadeephd You’d be surprised at what you can do when it’s needed. You will have time in class that you aren’t available to be a mom. And then you will have study/prep time at home when you can potentially be wearing baby and take a break to feed etc. then go back to your studytime/writing. 

    Also having your husband able to be home will help a lot and you can be really focused and get stuff done while you are at school/work (except for pumping time if you’re going to bf). 
  • @kadeephd That’s too bad. At least it is paid! That is so rare for moms, mich less dads.
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