For anyone who has been pregnant before

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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nitnat007 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Hello! I’m from the infertility board but I’m not actually sure where to ask this question. So, here it goes....

Background:

today, I am 12dpo after iui #2. I tested this morning (bad idea, but I couldn’t resist) & it was negative. I know it’s early, but it was still a huge downer.
But anyway, I felt normal in the morning just like any other day. Then, several hours ago I was freezing!! To the point of having goosebumps and hiding under the covers for hours. Now I’m burning up...no covers and I turned the fan on. I don’t feel sick, but my body feels out of whack. Took my temp this morning and it was 98.2 (7:30 am) and now it’s 99.4 (6:30 pm) but I really don’t temp so perhaps that means nothing.

For any of you that have been pregnant before...was this a sign for you? I don’t really think I’m pregnant because of the test this morning, but I guess I’m still full of hope....

if if anyone has any input, I would love to hear it, even if you tell me it’s probably all in my head.

QFP

[Deleted User] · July 2018

OP, what you're doing, in a not-so roundabout way, is asking the board if we think you might be pregnant, based on the symptoms (?) you described.

1) Totally against TOU.
2) Anybody else's experience has less than zero to do with whatever may be going on in your body
3) We can't tell you if your iui worked, any better than an actual pregnancy test.

Believe me, we have all wanted so very badly to be pregnant. Those of us who have gone through treatment, too, also wanted so very badly for our treatment cycles to be the ones that finally worked. But this is not the place.

Please feel free to lurk the TTGP board, especially the IF thread, and get to know the board culture. You will find a lot of support here, once you get a feel for how the board operates, and get to know the other incredible lady-warriors here. Best of luck.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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jrm_14 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

No. It wasn’t like that at all.

None of you will be able to tell ME if I am pregnant. That’s impossible and I didn’t ask that. I’m not one of those people who really thinks all pregnancies are the same. No two people are the same. No two pregnancies are the same. (Not like I would know, but I’ve read it 10 million times) I only asked if anyone had ever experienced that before and turned out bfp. That was it. There was no hidden message there.

i really didn’t post it just to get trash-talked. I spend a great deal of time reading and supporting ladies on the boards. I’ve never once bashed anyone or made them feel bad for their questions/opinions.

nitnat007 · July 2018

OP @BusinessWife was actually very polite and helpful. By asking us if we have experienced what you are currently experiencing and then gone on to turn a bfp, is by definition comparing pregnancies. Which for me, I have never personally seen those double lines after more than a year of trying, and can be said for many of the other ladies her as well.

If you are looking for advice from ladies that have actually been pregnant, I would suggest heading over the to first trimester board, where questions like this, and one off threads are not frowned upon. Since they have actually turned a test, they may be more receptive. And I say that with absolute sincerity. Good Luck!

jrm_14 · July 2018

@patty2018 The intentions of @BusinessWife ‘s response was not to bash you nor by any standard was meant to be trash-talk. She, of all people, knows about the heart ache & hopes & hopelessness of IF. It was a rather gentle redirect. She has been along far longer than June 5th & knows what it’s like to get & give support. Feel free to intro on the week’s newbie thread & stay around. We have a IF thread here, too.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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jrm_14 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Sorry to offend anyone. I will not post on your board anymore. Sorry for any inconvenience.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

OP, not to beat a dead horse, but I guess I missed the part where anyone here was talking trash, or offended. Except perhaps yourself when we kindly pointed out how this board does (and doesn't) work. FTR, nobody said you were unwelcome here, we just have a way of doing things that works for this community. Other boards may, and certainly do(!), operate differently, and therefore also letting you know that you may find more of the response you are looking for elsewhere.

But you yourself opened that door, and said basically to lay it on you. So you must have known that we might not tell you exactly what you wanted to hear. No one said go run along, tho.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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lulu1180 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

The answer to my own question...

moderate iron deficiency anemia. Diagnosed this morning after I almost passed out in the waiting room and then they did blood work. It can develop in some women when they get their bfp, which I also got at the doctor this morning. If you have “symptoms” that feel like that then get blood work done at your doctor. If left untreated then it can effect things like birth weight, etc.

Took 12 total years, but I finally got it.

Anyway, so I probably asked the wrong question or said it the wrong way. Who knows. I was at home feeling really bad (physically) and my husband is out of town. New area so no friends here yet. Couldn’t call the doctor, either, since it was a holiday. Guess I just wanted someone(s) to talk about it with.
Super bad idea I learned. I actually think I felt even worse after reading all the responses.

i had no intentions on ever posting here again, but now that I have my own answer then maybe it could potentially help someone else.

good luck to you all.

OP this was not the place to announce that!! While we're happy for those that have struggled to get their BFP, we don't know you and you gave no support whatsoever on this board. You should've just moved on to your BMB!

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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jrm_14 · July 2018

It continually amazes me how people people who have lived IF can be so hurtful to others when they receive a BFP.

lulu1180 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Lol. Still not sorry. Have a great day.

Wow, I'm so glad that you're not sorry at all about hurting the amazing ladies on this board by so carelessly announcing your BFP when you haven't participated at all and obviously didn't lurk at all! Must be nice to have not have a conscience when it comes to these kind of things.

Seeing as how you struggled for 12 years, I would think you would know how it feels to see a stranger's pregnancy announcement and how much it can sting. Good luck on your BMB....

ETA Hugs to any of the ladies who were hurt by this

meggyme · July 2018

Get a fever, go to doctor, get bfp. Got it! Thanks for the info OP, now please go to your BMB. And next time when you "lurk", maybe try actually reading the rules. It's still really rude to rub you pregnancy in the faces of people trying to get pregnant.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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jrm_14 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

That’s a load of crap. I wasn’t hurtful at all. The whole being “clicky” thing hurts people who try to come on here and ask for questions/advice. The board should be open to everyone, non-discriminately, whether they’ve been a member for one day, or month, or years. Just because a person hasn’t been around the board doesn’t mean that they can’t support you in the struggle or vice versa. I think being so close-minded is rediculous.

You were welcomed here. You were invited to intro. What was not welcome was asking about other people who have been pregnant & got a BFN.

lulu1180 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

That’s a load of crap. I wasn’t hurtful at all. The whole being “clicky” thing hurts people who try to come on here and ask for questions/advice. The board should be open to everyone, non-discriminately, whether they’ve been a member for one day, or month, or years. Just because a person hasn’t been around the board doesn’t mean that they can’t support you in the struggle or vice versa. I think being so close-minded is rediculous.

You don't get to decide if your actions/words hurt or offended others; that's just not how it works. What you did was very hurtful. We have a proper place where BFPs announcements go and even that is reserved for people who have been a part of this board for a couple months and both gave and received support. On this board, support is a two-way street.

The board is open to everyone, but you should still be mindful of how your words might hurt others. You announced a BFP after not participating on this board at all. We don't know you; you made no effort to lurk or read the rules and you hurt the women on this board who are struggling both with infertility and loss. The proper thing to do after being called out would have been to apologize and move on quietly, not come back and defend your shitty actions.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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jrm_14 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Pretty sure you shouldn’t be using profanity on sites like this. But thank you for cursing at me.

rallykat14 · July 2018

@patty2018 it was very tacky of you to announce your BFP. I'm sorry for your struggles, I can totally relate but this was just in poor taste. This is a great community, which you would have known had you spent any time here. You've hurt me and my friends by your words. Please move on to your BMB and try to show more class there than you've done here.

jrm_14 · July 2018

P.S. ya’ll- THIS IS NOT WORTH GETTING A WARNING OR BEING BANNED.

lulu1180 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Pretty sure you shouldn’t be using profanity on sites like this. But thank you for cursing at me.

I wasn't cursing at you or anyone; I was simply using the word to help describe your actions and I felt it was the best option.

meggyme · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Pretty sure you shouldn’t be using profanity on sites like this. But thank you for cursing at me.

Um... no one cursed.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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meggyme · July 2018

patty2018 said:

None of you concerned yourself with the actual question that began this thread. Also, NONE of you cared about the actual medical answer.

lulu1180 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

None of you concerned yourself with the actual question that began this thread. Also, NONE of you cared about the actual medical answer.

The question, whether you want to admit it or not, was asking us (in a very roundabout way) if you might be pregnant. Which is against the terms of use that you agreed to when you signed up for the forums on the site. Others informed you of this and tried to gently redirect you, but you refused to listen and instead came back claimed that the others were trash talking you.

And honestly, no, I didn't care about the actual medical answer. What I care about is that you hurt those on this board; why are you so callous that you don't care about that?

rallykat14 · July 2018

@lulu1180 since I nearly passed out at the Dr today must mean I'm knocked up, right???? Oh thank goodness, I was losing hope for this cycle!

lulu1180 · July 2018

OMG YES @rallykat14!!!!! It totes means you must be KTFU!!!!!!!! Why didn't we see that sooner???

rallykat14 · July 2018

@lulu1180 I'm so glad she came here to share her knowledge!!!!

jrm_14 · July 2018

@rallykat14 @lulu1180. Thank goodness I had this GIF ready to go, still. BFN+fever+passing out= Get prepared for the next 3-5 yr pregnancy.

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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meggyme · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Iron deficiency anemia can make you feel like that. Please read before you comment.

Really? You said you lurked, told us you didn't care about the rules and then this? Please just disappear to the March BMB. We'll warn them you're coming...

lulu1180 · July 2018

@meggyme I'm sure they're already lurking this thread

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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[Deleted User] · July 2018

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lulu1180 · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Do you honestly think I care?

patty2018 said:

And I never once said I didn’t care about your rules. What I don’t care about is all of your negative comments and “warning” the other thread. Grow up.

You didn't have to say that you don't care about the rules, it was obvious in your actions and words. Our "negative comments" only really started when you came back and said you didn't care that what you did was hurtful. Before that it was much much nicer than truly deserved.

50Wife · July 2018

**Removed for TOU Violation**

meggyme · July 2018

patty2018 said:

Do you honestly think I care?

Does it make you feel like a BAMF to make people feel this way? To tell a group of people struggling for what you have achieved that you have what they want? To use a pregnancy as a manipulation technique and rub it in people's face. To keep coming back and taunting them about it. We don't care if YOU care. We are however, defending each other from people like you that come here and threaten our safe space. We have rules for a reason.

ETA: You also seem to care enough to keep coming back here...

[Deleted User] · July 2018

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