Bad Mom Confessions

lurvleybunchococonuts · July 2018

What pregnancy "rules" have you broken so far? What have you done recently that makes you feel like a "bad" mom?

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lurvleybunchococonuts · July 2018

I don't really have any confessions to make atm, but I feel like the following gifs will cross my mind often once LO arrives

(and have definitely crossed my mind in the past with DSD)

Image: https://hellorigby.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/real-housewives-gretchen-is-this-what-hells-like.gif

tessiesmom26 · July 2018

I've eaten feta and hotdogs. I've also had some sips of beer and had half a spiked lemonade at a wedding this weekend. You should have seen the girls face when I grabbed the drink "This HAS alcohol in it." Yes, thanks I will take a few sips and MH will drink the rest.

jessielynn1 · July 2018

I’ve ate sushi, and the occasional Brie. Nothing else pregnancy wise, my kids do watch more tv then I care to admit these days.

MojieJo · July 2018

I ate unpasteurized blue cheese (just once because it's my favorite and it was on a cheese plate we had on vacation). It was delicious and satisfied the itch I had for it.

I also eat more seafood (not a lot more) than my OB "allows" me. He says once every two weeks, I eat it about once a week, which as far as I know is the actual normal recommendation, so maybe it's not really a bad mom confession.

I eat polish sausages a few times a week, too, since they're a craving of mine. I guess that's about as bad as it gets for me.

I'm boring and try really hard to stick to the rules.

lachnessmomster · July 2018

I haven't stopped eating sushi or seafood when I want it. I eat all the cheese. Today I had an extra cup of coffee, I have lunchmeat sandwiches on the regular, and sometimes sleep on my back.

When I was pregnant with DS, late into the 3rd trimester, I would run a bubble bath (probably one that was too warm) then pour myself a few ounces of red wine to enjoy while I soaked. I even had a small glass of hard cider and a bit of eggnog at Christmastime when I was a couple months pregnant with DS. This time around, I've only had sips of beer, but am very much looking forward to that little glass of wine here and there in 3rd tri.

middleschoolmommy · July 2018

I think I need to go bullet-ed list format for this... lol

I've had lunch meat without heating it.
2nd cups of coffee on days when I knew I had to be out an about after 7pm.
Sips of beer, mostly when DH has a new one I haven't tried.
definitely have let the TV babysit DS some mornings while I went back to sleep for an hour or 2.
Painted some of the nursery on my own.
Extra dose of Zantac, when I was being burned by lava from the inside out.
Forgotten to take prenatals and other vitamins multiple times.
Told DS "baby sister is tired, so mommy can't go outside" when it reaches 100+ degrees out -- which is usually all afternoon now.
Had the thought "What have I done/gotten myself into?" ... SO MANY TIMES

lachnessmomster · July 2018

@middleschoolmommy That gif just made my heart so happy. Also the "Baby sister is tired" comment!

EvilRaccoon · July 2018

You ladies make me laugh so much! And feel less alone. This pregnancy I've been more relaxed about what I eat, what with having nausea, then no appetite, then GD. I eat what I can, dammit!

Each time I eat forbidden food, I say to my DH: I am about to play with the life of our child!! with as much drama as I can. He always answer with a fake-horrified "Noooooooooooooooooo".

So I've had sips of alcohol, feta (it's made with pasteurized milk anyway), sushis, medium-cooked steak, seafood, half-cooked egg yolk, etc.

This child will be a gourmet, mark my words.

pink_polkadots · July 2018

lachnessmomster said:

*snip*
and sometimes sleep on my back.
*snip*

I don’t think sleeping on your back is a concern until your third tri, when baby and uterus are heavy enough to compress some blood vessels down there when on your back. I think you’re good for now.

lachnessmomster · July 2018

@pink_polkadots Phew! I'm safe for now!

pink_polkadots · July 2018

@lachnessmomster yea I have a bad habit of ending up on my back while sleeping too. I’ve read that if you just prop a pillow behind your hip and shoulder, if you do end up on your back, if it’s a bad habit to break for you, that can create enough of an angle so your uterus is not compressing those blood vessels.

lachnessmomster · July 2018

@pink_polkadots Nice! Thank you so much for sharing! I'm generally a side-sleeper by nature, but sometimes I end up on my back without really trying to. I'll have to try this as I get more large and in charge.

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

I’ve been pretty good so far because I’m a FTM and way too anxious, but as I get farther along I’ve had sushi (but only the cooked stuff which I feel like is fine?), and hot dogs.

People for sure make it out to be a bigger deal. I’ve started putting a spoonful or so of regular coffee grounds into my normal decaf - I literally drink one cup each day. There’s hardly any caffeine. I thought my senior vp was going to have a meltdown when she saw me with the coffee cup.

I miss wine so much but am not brace enough to take a few sips, mainly because...I want a full glass, not a few sips!

wamam027 · July 2018

I've had about 1/3 of a glass of white zin after a long hot day and it was pure bliss. Find myself sleeping and laying on my stomach several times a night although I'm not sure if this is completely against the rules at 22w? I was a left side only sleeper from like 15 weeks with dd because I was terrified of harming her in any way. Dd definitely watches way more tv than she ever has. Drink 2 cups of coffee on the regular, I'm so stinking tired this go 'round and still wondering where my second tri energy is at.

bswishe4 · July 2018

I am currently drinking a baja Mt Dew from Taco Bell and its delicious! I generally try to follow rules pretty well but I still eat lunch meat and I flat out refuse to eat a steak that is past medium ever!

lifesabeach85 · July 2018

First of all, no one is going to be a worse mom than Mrs. McAllister, so put that in the win column already

I think most of the pregnancy stuff has been covered, so I'll comment on some mistakes we made after the baby was born

Once DH left a bottle of his hot sauce on the table not thinking DD could get up there and get to it. Well she did, and put it in her mouth - the cap was on but there was still residue on the top. Oh she turned bright red and scream cried for a while as we're like putting milk and cold water in her mouth and calling poison control. It was fine, but just scary. I once let her play with a marble set because she wanted to and I figured it would be fine since i was watching her but boy she got that marble in her mouth so fast it was crazy. She got really scared when I threw her down to root it out of there, and I got it out and it was fine but again, I was panicking for a minute there.

Most women I know have made at least one mistake that either led to their baby getting a little bit hurt, or that could have. Quite a few have had their baby -surprise!- learn to roll over for the first time when they were on a changing table, bed, or couch and wind up on the floor. One of my nephews threw himself out of a high chair onto the floor when he was 1. A friend's son pulled a 28 oz can of tomatoes of the shelf in the pantry and broke his toe. Everyone makes mistakes, don't beat yourself up. It's not like you left your kid in Illinois to be pursued by the wet bandits and went to Paris for Christmas or anything.

hollyeva · July 2018

Let me count the ways...

I eat corned-beef hash about twice a week.
I've almost forgotten DD1's lunch on more than one occasion this summer for summer camp.
I forgot her t-shirt last night for Tae Kwon Do, girlfriend had to wear her dress under her ghee.
I've dropped the f-bomb in front of DD1 when said forgetting is realized.
I've slacked on getting dishes done quickly because I'm working 60 hours a week on multiple projects.
I've had ice cream sandwiches almost everyday during this second trimester, even during (or maybe especially because?) I failed the one hour glucose test and waiting 4 weeks to do the 3 hour one.

I'm sure there's another half dozen moments I've had recently, but we have to forgive ourselves because we're human after all.

You guys are cracking me up! I love hearing how I'm not alone- especially with the preggo brain moments!

tessiesmom26 · July 2018

@lifesabeach85 That last sentence has me dying!

smulrich16 · July 2018

I once spent about 20 minutes googling whether or not Qdoba queso was considered a no-no cheese when you're preggers...once I realized I had already finished most of the chips and queso while searching, I stopped googling and just went with it. It was sooo good

As a FTM mom, though, that's about as bad as I've gotten. I'm trying to stick to the rules (as silly as some of them seem).

lachnessmomster · July 2018

I'm 100% on-board with this thread becoming about bad mom moments in general - pregnancy and beyond!

One evening, I put a sleeping DS in his sidecar crib and got into the shower. That was the night that I learned the sidecar crib was no longer to be trusted, because shortly after I got in, I thought I heard crying. I shut the water off and listened. Sure enough, DS was screaming like a maniac. I ran out of the shower, soaking wet, leaving a trail of water behind me as I ran out to get him. He had woken up, crawled out of his sidecar crib, into our bed, and then off the end of our bed. Poor kiddo. DH came back from his run and put those EMT classes of his to use by checking his pupils and giving him the once-over. He deemed him fine, and the next day, I went out and bought a Pack 'n' Play, which he slept in until transitioning to his big boy bed.

Not my finest mom hour, but you live and you learn.

wildrainbow · July 2018

I'm pretty sure I've done all of these and then some.
1. I've had sips of beer that looked really good, and they were!
2. I've eaten cheese dip on the regular.
3. Medium rare steak. Nuff said.
4. I sleep on my right side or belly.

Bad mom not preggo moments:
1. When ds was 1 he somehow managed tho reach the counter and pull my hot coffee off. It spilled all over him. He and I both cried. I didn't drink coffee for 2 weeks after because I felt so awful.
2. Once, when I was super tired after craptastic night of sleep when ds was about 10(ish) months, I accidentally dropped him. Luckily, it was on the couch and I was going to change his diaper anyway, but Damn, that was another bad day.
3. Ds watches way more tv than he should, but I never got my second tri energy burst so I'm ok with it.

The coffee and dropping him are my worst mom moments ever. Hopefully, this guy will have better luck.

BabyBoyH92016 · July 2018

I was really bad at taking prenatal vitamims while TTC. I probably only took them a handful of times the month I got pregnant. On occasion i still forget to take my vitamins, and when I say forget, i mean I’ve already gone upstairs for the night and I’m too lazy to walk downstairs to the kitchen to take them.

Ive also demolished a bag of Doritos within two days when my husband was out of town.

offtoneverland · July 2018

A few days after we brought DD home from the hospital, I was trying to do tummy time with her. While I was positioning her on her stomach, I dropped her head on the floor. Whoops!

My bad mom confession is that I leave DD alone in the bathtub sometimes. Caveat: We have a split level house, so the bathroom is like 10 feet away from the kitchen, so it's really not that big of a deal since we can hear her splashing around and playing. Sometimes we eat dinner while she's in the bathtub, or I run downstairs and do some laundry really quick.

This is not really a bad mom confession, but it was funny so I'll put it here. We were at the zoo on Saturday and smelled pot coming from somewhere. DD said "What is that really good smell????"

pelorunningmama · July 2018

I think I’ve broken every pregnancy no-no this time, sausage, sushi, medium rare steak, coffee, etc. I finished off the list of no’s by having a small glass of red wine this week at the lake. I can’t wait to not feel guilty about it.

Parenting bad mom... lots of those too. We coslept with the dockatot. My kids had eggs and peanut butter at 6 months. I stopped dumping the bathwater every time DS pees in it. The list could go on and on...

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

@BabyBoyH92016 wait what’s wrong with Doritos?!

highsteaks · July 2018

i am definitely skirting the ul caffeine recommendations alot this time lately. cold deli meats, sips of beer, excess tv time for dd1. she stayed with her grandparents for close to a month when my morning sickness got really bad. when she was first learning to walk, she slipped in the tub and gashed her little ear black and blue on the drain knob

stitchnz · July 2018

I have been sticking to the food rules pretty closely, but the other day I was making pizza and absent mindedly ate a piece of salami before it had been through the oven. I’ve also been eating the odd rotisserie chicken, even though I’m pretty sure they’re on the no no list.

lurvleybunchococonuts · July 2018

Also wait... we aren't allowed to eat cheese dip?! Well damn... that rule is broken LMAO. I've had more caffeine than I should not often, but occasionally. I've eaten hot dogs (and man were they good!). I've had unheated lunch meat. I had a sip of wine and a sip of beer. Also I try to sleep on my left side, but my right side is soooo much more comfortable and by sleep on my right side I mean mostly on my stomach with just a pillow propping me up

Bad step-parenting... DSD watches far more TV than she should. Starting around age 4 we would let her play in the bathrub unsupervised. We just yell at her "M, make some noise" periodically if we couldn't hear her. She has eaten mac-n-cheese multiple days in a row. Most recently I forgot to feed her lunch last week.

BabyBoyH92016 · July 2018

firsttimespartanmom said:

@BabyBoyH92016 wait what’s wrong with Doritos?!

Nothing wrong with Doritos. More like the amount of Doritos. I seriously ate the entire party size bag in two days. I felt guilty bc I felt like I should of been eating healthier and not shoveling Doritos in my mouth round the clock.

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

@BabyBoyH92016 phew, I thought you were going to tell me Doritos are banned too for some reason - Cool Ranch Doritos are my fave. But totally hear you on the trying to eat healthier guilty feeling!

msb11182018 · July 2018

Having a hard time staying away from the caffiene, trying to limit myself to one coffee, iced tea or pop a day which is so hard in this 90+ degree heat. Also have eaten so many lunchmeat sandwiches this time around and hotdogs because its one of the few things DSD9 will eat without throwing a bitchfit.

When DS was a month or so old he rolled off the couch on to the hardwood floor. I put him down for a minute to look out the window and heard the thud, of course that would be the exact moment he decides to start trying to move more.

phoenix870509 · July 2018

I still eat my steaks and burgers medium rare. On occasion I'll have sushi, but will steer clear of the raw stuff. I'm still sleeping on my back but will have to cut that soon since the longer I'm on my back I feel off and have to shift. And I was able to lay on my belly up to week 19. Since I popped I can't do that anymore, but I have rolled onto my belly accidentally a few times. I don't do coffee, but I love me some tea and hot chocolate and indulge in those often. The looks I get these days walking around with my cup of cocoa...I think I'm gonna get a shirt made that says Not that it's any of your business but it's cocoa, and on the back Have a Nice Day with a middle finger.

mockingjay1 · July 2018

I don't think I have any bad mom things for this pregnancy so far (I don't think alcohol, and I'm a picky eater) other than how often I used my doppler initially.

For DS - While I was looking at houses most of the morning yesterday I just let him play with his toys and flip through books by himself. I felt bad, but he was content and I really wanted to find some we'd be interested in.

lachnessmomster · July 2018

@BabyBoyH92016 I currently have a Dorito taco casserole in the oven for dinner. We're going to top it with lettuce, tomatoes, and jalapenos from the garden, so it's basically health food, right?

josie12367 · July 2018

Ugh, the mom guilt is strong with this list...

Cold deli sandwiches quite often, two or more cups of caffine of some sort pretty regular, sleeping on my back (it's the only comfy position with my congestion... which leads to my daily use of Afrin so I can breathe. I still use my ProActiv wash on my face.... and lastly, I'm still on my first bottle of prenatals given at my first appointment.

This was with my first DD when she was about two years old...One night while on vacation visiting my parents, I was playing with DD by dancing around the kitchen with her in my arms. I didn't even think twice about it, but I was wearing fuzzy, comfy socks that night. Well, I slipped and fell... and DD fell with me. I fell on my back, with her on my chest still, but her head hit the back of a chair on the way down. She had a huge welt from it. I felt like such a bad mom, and promptly threw away every pair of fuzzy socks I owned.

With my second DD, I didn't get much time to rest during the day as I had with my first, so I had a really hard time staying awake while breastfeeding. One night I fell asleep on the couch, feeding my daughter in the side lying position when she was only a few weeks old, and woke up to her rolling of the couch. It was a low couch, onto plush carpet, in a house without a concrete foundation... So the impact wasn't even enough to wake her. I was so panicked and felt absolutely awful for weeks though. I sat up from then on, and would just put her back down if I felt too drowsy...

BabyBoyH92016 · July 2018

lachnessmomster said:

@BabyBoyH92016 I currently have a Dorito taco casserole in the oven for dinner. We're going to top it with lettuce, tomatoes, and jalapenos from the garden, so it's basically health food, right?

Sounds AMAZING! Yes, totally a health food.

offtoneverland · July 2018

@josie12367 Awww sorry to hear about you slipping and falling, but I think it's sweet you threw away all of your fuzzy socks! The mom guilt is crazy and I'm not looking forward to it getting worse again after the new baby comes. It was really hard for me the first time around. I still feel it a lot now, but it was worse with all the new emotions after birth.

It's interesting how many things people are listing here as off limits. If I've learned anything from the food-born illness outbreaks lately, it's to stay away from fruit! I've never even heard of anyone getting sick from lunch meat or cheese.

@lurvleybunchococonuts I've never heard of the no cheese dip/queso thing until the Bump. Queso is my jam and I could never avoid it! I don't understand why it's bad since it's warmed up.

runningyogimama · July 2018

Um, WHAT?!? to the no cheese dip/queso thing? I’ve never heard of that, and I don’t understand any reasoning behind it. That makes no sense!

I’m just a bad vegetarian while pregnant and end up eating meat because my body craves it - I don’t even like meat normally!

I think the only “rule” I’ve broken is eating a runny egg last weekend (which I didn’t realize with my first two was against the rules...), and I’ve eaten lunch meat, because I need quick protein lately or I get super sick. We aren’t big on seafood since we are in the land-locked Midwest, I don’t drink, and coffee currently makes me sick (although I have started drinking a Coke Zero in the morning, because otherwise I get headaches from no caffeine).

lifesabeach85 · July 2018

Other than not being the most nutritious options there is nothing off limits about cheese dip, soft cheeses or hot dogs.

Is anyone eating cold hot dogs? Yuck.

It’s actually illegal to sell unpasteurized cheese in the US unless it’s been aged for 60 days under certain conditions. It’s really really unlikely that a restaurant would have unpasteurized cheese and even less likely that they would sell it without clearly telling you it’s a raw cheese. So don’t feel bad about getting feta on a Greek salad or a goat cheese omelette.

lachnessmomster · July 2018

@mockingjay1 Just saw your comment about the doppler. I was talking to my MIL about how they didn't check baby's heartbeat at one of my appointments and explained how relieved I was to have my doppler at home to check it myself. Her response was, "Yeah, do you know the risks of dopplers? I don't think you should use those." I had no idea that there was any risk, and I felt so bad that I stopped using it after that. So, I guess tally that up to another of my bad mom moments?

When I looked it up, I read that it could raise baby's body temp. above a reasonable degree causing potential harm. Does anyone else have information on this?

There's even an article here on The Bump that says dopplers in the hands of moms are unsafe. At one of my appointments this pregnancy, the tech who looked for baby's heartbeat was in training and couldn't find it even after searching for a good while. How is that safer than my being able to find it myself at home and generally much quicker?

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