How are you dealing with the surprise of getting pregnant? Are you excited? Scared? Sad? All? Other? How are you coping?
We have 3 great kids; the 3rd was a surprise, too. Sometimes I feel like I’m coping pretty well and looking forward to adding another member to our family. I imagine the fun of another child and how amazing it is to hold and nurse a newborn. Other times I feel overwhelmed and burnt out and wishing I wasn’t having another one. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way. But still exhausted. Tonight is one of those times. I just finished a 12.5 hour shift at work. Two of my kids have colds and are extra needy and whiny. I have a crazy busy week coming up between work and summer activities for the kids. I feel too tired to keep up with what I already have, let alone adding another child. I know that once the baby is here, I will be so glad and grateful that we had one more child. It just sound so overwhelming and exhausting.
Re: Who else has an unplanned pregnancy?
DH and I were convinced we would never have babies... adoption was the only route to a family for us and we had accepted that. Embraced it! We adopted older children with special needs because we knew we could give them the time and resources they need to meet their individual goals. That longing for babies I had during our IF struggle turned into stamina for helping our youngest through his rage and determination for helping our daughter get the educational services she needs.
Now that we have this little one on the way I’m both thrilled and terrified. Thrilled that we get to experience this miracle and for the chance to raise this baby. Terrified for how it will impact our family dynamic. Both kids are very excited about the baby, but I don’t know how excited they will be once the baby arrives and needs our attention.
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Even though I’ve been super sick I think I’m still in denial.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Met 4/2010+Married 8/2014
TTC #1 August 2016. BFP 10/2016= DD Born 6.23.17
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Not totally unplanned but happened a lot sooner/quicker than we were anticipating. I was thinking a March/April baby would be ideal especially with the holidays and the travel we usually do...well that didn't happen. We are excited though (after the initial shock wore off....!).
@achays11 That’s funny because MH keeps saying I seduced him. Haha!
While it was not a complete surprise, it was our first month of NTNP after a super unexpected CP the month before. It took us 10 months of active trying (with a MC in there) to get DD so I did not think one month of pulling the goalie would get us here.
I defintiely still struggle a bit to feel connected. I try not to think about the tough parts to come like how do I juggle two kids in diapers and a super active toddler with a newborn baby. And we just bought a house so money wise we will be strapped.
But other times I think about the first moment
of seeing and holding your new baby. Or their first smile. First giggle.
I think it’s defintiely a balance and the most important thing to remember is that all of the feelings combined are normal and ok and you don’t have to feel bad for having some of
those more negative thoughts.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
DD Born 06/23/17
TFAS: April 2018
BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19
The H works out of state and is usually gone for a month at a time. He’s home for two days and gone again. I have our 8 kids, plus all house work, yard work, and paper end of our business to take care of, alone. Sometimes I go work with him, although I've stopped for now. We've been trying to find a home closer to where he works so we can finally be together, again. He hasn’t lived at home for 4 years. He’s never lived with the 2 year old. She has no idea what it’s like to have a dad at home every night, and I really didn’t want to put another child through that, or the H. But housing in a small town is difficult to come by, apparently. Especially when you have 8 kids.
I have no family support. Both of our families think that they should have more say in what goes on within our home than we should. They hate us having kids and just last week my mom told me that I better not ever get pregnant again. Not sure why she thinks she has a say. With my last, from the moment she found out, all she could talk about was the fact that my sister was having twins. She never congratulated me at all. She just ignored it. And the H's mom didn't talk to him for two whole months after we told her. In fact, most of everyone in both of our families treats us this way, which is why we don't tell until I can no longer hide it. I have one sister who I can actually talk to about any of this, and she is super excited, but she lives in Hawaii, which sucks. I'd love to have someone closer who actually cares.
So there's that. My emotions are everywhere. I don't even know how to feel about it. Some days I just cry, others I'm excited. I just have to keep reminding myself that January is a long way off. Hopefully things are better by then.
Thankfully we have a ton of familial support, but we are very nervous about managing my final semester and studying for the bar exam.
We are thrilled about the pregnancy, but these are definitely not the plans we had in mind!
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
That being said, I've already fallen in love with this new life. We haven't told ANYONE (except my work) yet. We definitely won't be telling my family any time soon. We'll probably wait until they ask. They won't be excited, so I don't see a point in trying to make them excited.
My in laws have been asking when #3 is coming since before I had #2, so I know they'll be excited. My husband wants to find out the gender before we tell them though. Which I think is weird, especially since I get BIG when pregnant, so they probably already think something's up. But whatever dude. Lol
I’ve been worried that after this baby, extended family is always going to be looking for signs that I’m pregnant again, because they all know we were done having kids before this baby. We thought.
We were very shocked when we found out but are so excited. I was very concerned that we would have difficulty conceiving because I wasn't even convinced I was ovulating every month.
We are, however, a bit anxious because we moved into my parents after our wedding 9 months ago to save money for a house and now we feel very pressed for time to find something. All of our upcoming expenses are sending us into a bit of a panic but, all in all, we feel very blessed to be on this journey and are hopeful everything will fall into place.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19