PGAL Check-in W/O 6/13

BitterBetty12 · June 2018

@dubcompanion My mom actually had a loss between my middle and youngest brother, so she kind of understands. But I think we also handle our emotions very differently. I think she’s just excited and she wants to share with her sisters and my grandmother, and she knows if it’s up to me I’ll put it off as long as possible. Which is my right. But it’s also partly because I don’t like attention on me. With DD I was 15 weeks on Christmas so it provided the perfect opportunity for me to share with everyone. She knows there’s no event this time so she’s trying to get a timeline. She even offered to have a picnic for me to tell people! I did tell her today I would be willing to have the conversation with her next week if all goes well at the NT scan.

Also +1 to the ‘if it goes well’ comments. I know I said in another thread there are no jinxes, and I do believe it in my rational mind, but my irrational mind won’t let me say ‘when’. Even up until DD was born there was the ‘if’ in my statements.

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

Whenever I hear lime I just assume it's like a key line because HOW? This week my app told me the baby is the size of a Lego mini figure and that's like totally tangible and relatable. At least in my house since I'm stepping on them all the time.

oaklandava · June 2018

@dubcompanion you're so right about the PGAL brain. I had a horrible pregnancy with DS and you'd think I'd be more chill this time around, but the whole loss thing threw me. I guess I never really thought it would happen to me? I dunno, I don't want that to seem bratty by any means, but I mean a pregnancy loss had not happened to anyone in my close circle around me so it seemed pretty foreign. I've had a lot of friends have fertility problems, but nobody has suffered a loss so it was just very......lonely? And very foreign.

dubcompanion · June 2018

@BitterBetty12 I had to giggle when I read she’d be willing to throw a picnic just so you can announce. I must be just like you because the thought of everyone at an event solely so that I announce my pregnancy just sounds like a nightmare! Gah! lol People do process loss differently, that’s true. And she may have put it behind her now that she has adult children and grandchildren. Also the same here in that I kept going “if all goes well” up to being in labor! (And even for a time, during not!)

@sparkymcgeee Just did a quick google search on the size of limes. I think you’re spot on! I was only imagining the most common type of like sold in grocery stores (the Persian or Tahitian lime). And now I’m kind of craving a margarita.

@oaklandava I’m sorry you have to be part of this “club,” as it’s no fun at all and it can definitely be lonely. After my loss, a few people reached out to me and shared that they’d had a loss and that I could talk to them if I ever needed to. I appreciated that but most of them had had losses years ago. And once I did get pregnant again, the ones who’d recently had losses still weren’t pregnant and it wouldn't have been appropriate to reach out to them for support. I appreciate communities like this where we’re all going through the stages together at the same time.

oaklandava · June 2018

@dubcompanion same to you girl. You're exactly right--you don't want to rub it anyone's face or anything, and it's a touchy subject in general. This forum is pretty awesome for this

oaklandava · June 2018

@dubcompanion same to you girl. You're exactly right--you don't want to rub it anyone's face or anything, and it's a touchy subject in general. This forum is pretty awesome for this

sparkymcgeee · June 2018

Dh and I were just talking today about our losses and the club. How it's the worst club to be in but in a way it made us better people. We were more understanding and empathetic to loss in general. No one wants to be in the club and if course I wish I weren't but if you have to be you might as well grow right?

BitterBetty12 · June 2018

@sparkymcgeee I completely agree. My DH actually consistently talks about how, in a really unfortunate way, our first loss actually helped him grow up and really prepare for the realities of parenthood. Our loss after DD helped him work through some of the feelings he never resolved after the first one. I also have met some amazing people through the TTCAL and PGAL community, and while I hate that loss is what brought us together, I am incredibly grateful to have those relationships.

LCRbelle · June 2018

@oaklandava I know exactly what you mean! My sisters both have six kids with zero losses or issues. I assumed I wouldn’t have any problems either! Then I had one loss after another and it was so lonely and isolating. I didn’t know anyone IRL that had gone through anything like that!

Want a personalized experience?

PGAL Check-in W/O 6/13

Re: PGAL Check-in W/O 6/13

Choose Another Board

Search Boards