Okay. So. I didn't have a doula last go-round because the birth team was big enough and sort of served the purpose. In addition to my midwife there was her student midwife, a nurse who had also taught our birth classes, my mom (also a CNM), and my hubby.
This time I'll be giving birth in a hospital. Husband doesn't really want to be involved because of what happened last time -- he wants to be well-rested if he needs to advocate for the baby after it's born (hopefully that won't be an issue, goodness!). My mom will be around but she doesn't really doula -- she just sits back and lets labor happen. So I'm hiring a doula (it's actually a team of two) to help me through and to also help advocate for me as needed.
I had my initial meeting with the doulas today and OMG am I glad I did. I'm going to be switching my OB ASAP. Apparently this guy automatically induces at 39 weeks and does c-sections 12 hours after water breaks. The hospital requires continual monitoring so there's not even walking around in labor. They don't let you pee in the toilet -- bedpan only. No eating. Not even ice chips. Just bad news after bad news with this hospital.
The doulas recommended an OB group that practices at the other hospital in town, which is a little further away from me. I'd actually been looking at it online pre-KU because it has a Family Birthing Center but when my insurance referred me to my current OB I thought, "Well, that's fine. I'll just stick with him because it's easy." This place, though, is a dream compared to the first hospital. There are tubs and squat bars for labor, they only require monitoring 20 minutes out of the hour and have waterproof equipment so I can stay in the tub if I want to, I can eat during labor, move around as much as I want, have so many more options after the baby comes, can do Golden Hour, rooming-in, etc.
Phew. So I hired their butts and am now super looking forward to December.
Also I was looking into Hypnobabies today. Thoughts? Anyone?
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
What a great update @PensiveCrayon! I’m glad you found a place you’re so excited about, and that last place definitely doesn’t sound consistent with your goals, so YAY!!
I don’t really have any updates. IFL my OB, she’s just the best. She probably won’t be around when I’m in labor but the hospital is cool with how I like to labor so I’m not too worried.
Kind of wondering how to brush up on the Bradley method. Not really feeling taking the classes again and idk where any of my books are anymore. Blah.
@katy0990 I have noooo idea. But AL isn’t exactly known for being the most forward-thinking on anything. (See: Roy Moore.)
Anyway, I called Tricare and changed my provider this morning. It was 100% without hassle, thank goodness. My original plan was to labor at home for as long as possible, but now I might change my mind since this new place has tubs and mine sucks!
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@PensiveCrayon I cannot believe the insurance companies don’t question his methods. I’m glad you found a great option. We have a similar family birthing center at the hospital I deliver at. It is awesome! Unfortunately, I am not a candidate this time because they don’t do VBACs.
So, there’s a big possibility that we’re moving. The good thing is it’s still my my midwives birthing area. Still not to far from one of them, phew! The house is a parsonage and is HUGE. The only downfall is I won’t have anyone close to come and take the kids, so we’d just let them stay in a different part of the house with the teenager. That is unless we find someone wonderful at the new church who is willing to take five kids. Lol.
DD1 | Jan 2009 DD2 | June 2011 DS1 | Oct 2013 ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001) DS2 | June 2016 DS3 | Dec 2018
I don’t know if I really go here, but it kind of fits? I’ll be delivering in a hospital again, but am planning to get a doula and try to have a less-interventiony (that’s totally a word, right?) birth this time. Last time I was induced at 40+3, forced to lay in bed and have constant fetal monitoring, and ultimately wound up with an epidural, tearing, an episiotomy, and forceps delivery.
This time I was to be able to labor at home first, walk around, use water if I feel like it, have more control over positions, and if I do wind up using medication, I want to have a much smaller dose so I can feel enough to be more effective with pushing. I also don’t want to be induced unless I’m 41 weeks by my pretty accurate calculations (tracking ovulation).
I almost outed my pregnancy on facebook recently because I wanted to ask a local moms group about doula recommendations. My new OB is cool with me having a doula and actually suggested it on her own as a way for me to have more control and support during delivery. My husband is awesome, but he is not going to effectively take charge under stress in this situation.
@PensiveCrayon Wow it's great that you found that out! I was considering hiring a doula to be present at my birth, but I'm having trouble with the idea of paying even more to have this baby. My SIL is an OB, so I'm sort of pretending like I can use her for support and guidance if need be, but she'll be in NC with her own four month old baby, so it's not like she can actually be present.
I am planning to give birth in a hospital and the hospital does have relatively high C-section rates. I asked my dr about that and she said it's because they serve an older population (average age of first baby is really high in DC) and more women than usual have multiples due to fertility treatments or opt to schedule a C-section for all subsequent births after having had one C-section. It still makes me nervous because I really don't want a C-section. I am pretty sure I want as few meds as possible with as little monitoring as possible so I can walk around. I read in some online forums that the hospital does support this and that you can spend time in the shower while you are in labor and even stand while you are being monitored.
I am going to start this with my story of my first labor and birth, because it was pretty much EXACTLY what I wanted. I want the same this time too, but maybe a shorter labor? If I count from when the "cramps" started to when my water broke it was 24 hours. Some TMI below.
I was up on May 26 at 3:00am with some cramps and had to pee. There was blood. I used a pad and called the midwife because I was worried (I had just lost my mucus plug and had some bloody show the previous day). From talking to her, they didn't think it sounded like labor. The "cramps" continued most of the day so I spent the day vacuuming, doing laundry, catching up on some work stuff, and watching Big Bang Theory. Anyway, this continued all day. I did some bouncing on my exercise ball. DH bought me home pancakes for dinner and we ate, he'd be talking and I'd have to tell him to stop so I could focus when I was having a contraction. Honestly I had no idea I was in labor, I just thought I was getting ready for labor. *eye roll* I started timing the cramps at some point just to see and eventually went up to bed because I didn't want to snap on DH. I was somehow able to sleep between contractions, even though they were like 4 minutes apart. I felt a pop and shot up out of bed and ran to the bathroom at 3:00am. My water had broke. I called the midwife while on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor and from what I said she still didn't think it sounded like I was ready to go. She said to eat something, take a shower, then come in. I took a 45 minute shower, mostly because couldn't stand up. I managed to get out and DH helped me get dressed. We didn't get out of the house until 7:00am. She arrived at the hospital at almost 8:00am. They wheeled me up to the labor and delivery floor. They checked me and I was at 10 and ready to push. DS was here less than two hours later. I got exactly what wanted - a med free birth where I labored mostly at home. And since I was alone most of the time, I didn't say anything mean to anyone I love. LOL
Also, the weeks leading up to labor I was doing perineal massage once a day. While I was pushing, my midwife was massaging. I highly recommend it, it helps with tearing. I think I only needed two stitches.
I hope my labor with this one is similar. Sorry for the book of a post.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
For those considering hiring a doula....DO IT!!!! For those not considering hiring a doula....DO IT!!!! LOL
I didn’t have the exact birth I wanted last time and ended up getting an epidural because they forced the IV and continuous monitoring on me (two of the many reasons is switched practices and hospitals.)
To make it even crazier I didn’t meet my doula until 2am, naked in the shower. My doula was at another birth so I got her backup.
But even with all that my doula was worth every penny and double her weight in gold. She was super supportive of both H and I. She was able to focus solely on me so that he could take a nap and be ready when it was go time.
She massaged me feet, kept me warm when epidural gave me the chills, repositioned me every hour or so to encourage the baby to move down, set the atmosphere in the room with led candles and lavender, held the bucket when i puked (also epidural side effect) and probably so much more that I don’t remember.
After the birth she visited me the next day and helped us establish a great breast feeding relationship and came back a week later to check on us. She also was available via text for months after when I was freaking out as a new mom and confused by so much.
I am not sure if all doulas are as great as she is, but if you are looking and interviewing these can be some great things to ask about.
I am am going to ask her if she will be my doula again, even though she’s in school now studying to be a midwife.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
Agreed @krob. I was actually on the fence about hiring a doula but even just meeting these women was so freaking informative and got me excited for this upcoming birth.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
One of the main reasons I know she was so worth it, is I don’t even remember exactly how much she cost.
I could literally go on and on about the benefits. But I especially think so if you are delivering in a hospital. It can be hard to advocate for yourself when you are in labor and hard for your partner because they are freaked out and also focusing on you.
The doula is someone who does birth for a living. Has seen it all. Isn’t shocked by anything and can keep a level head.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
You guys, my births have been so chill. DH is so on board and knows how to advocate for me. But also, I like to be left the hell alone and I had no problem either time telling the nurses to back off if they were bothering me. Hell, I think even DH felt a little left out the first time (after I made him take all those classes, I just fell asleep in the bathtub and he made sure the monitor didn't slip off. The next time, he had soccer playing in the room the whole time while I ignored him. Poor guy.
My first birth, my water broke at home and I came in while I was in transition. They insisted on constant monitoring because my BP was off the charts, but other than that I got away with no IV and just some oral zofran so I'd stop puking. Like I said, I mostly fell asleep in the bathtub until it was time to push.
My second one, my water broke before I started active labor, so I just stayed home for the first 10 hours. When I went in, they agreed to intermittent monitoring, so I had to be back in my room once an hour, but other than that I just walked laps around the unit until things picked up.
I do live in crunch-ville, so I'm sure my hospital is not typical. But given my good experiences I'm going in thinking positive.
@runrinserepeat If you know what works for you then I GUESS I won't pressure you to hire a doula But me, I like having people rub my back and braid my hair while I'm in labor. Haha.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@AdorkablePixie and @runrinserepeat stories like yours make me want to VBAC just to try to have the experience I wanted to first time. I am so glad you have such positive stories to share.
I've done a little more researching for Alabama things since last month.
• I know which OB I want, but I always miss his office hours (they don't have an answering machine or email address...and close early on Fridays). His bio specifies that he advocates vaginal birthing but can offer interventions when requested.
• I've mostly settled on the hospital, I'll just go to the one nearest my house because #1 I also want to labor at home as long as possible, and #2 none of the hospitals have what I want, so they're equally disappointing so far. My chosen OB can deliver at the area "top" hospitals, so I will ask him specific labor questions as soon as I hopefully meet him.
• I'm on the fence about hiring a doula. The one I'm considering will be new to the area, so she won't have provider insights like @PensiveCrayon 's doulas...but she's affordable. Also on the fence because I know that DH will be an excellent advocate for me. His job is all about taking charge in high stress situations, and I know he can do it well with me. I might hire this doula for three visits; 1) labor & delivery to assure DH of what is normal, and back up DH (or give him a break), 2) one day later as a personal LC, and 3) a week later to make sure I'm alive / healing normally and check for PPD or PPA symptoms.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
FTM here. Any STM think I should investigate hiring a doula if I plan to use a birth center and midwife care? My husband will also be advocating for me. Is it redundant to have midwife care and a doula?
@ccccaaatt I wouldn't say its redundant. The midwife will probably be attending to other women laboring at the same time as you so a doula would provide you with constant individual care and support. Doulas and midwives have different jobs though there is certainly some overlap. For me, for my labor with DD our doulas (we had a team of two) came to my house when I started laboring and stayed with me pretty constantly for 2 days -- yes, I labored for about 53 hours. Ugh. I was vomiting non-stop and that stalled my labor a bit. I was with an awesome midwife team at the crunchiest hospital in town.
Even with the awesome doulas I had, I'm not planning to hire a doula this time. Not because I didn't appreciate their support -- so much of what we got out of it was education prior to labor -- then lots of support during. But we paid a lot. I wanted to have the most experienced person with a personality that I felt clicked with mine who had expertise in the area (we were moving back to the area). I also can't remember exactly how much but it was over 1,000. I just checked our old doula's website and she's charging 1600-2100 now. I felt we got our monies worth (it was a LOT of hours, with 2 doulas) but I'm thinking that DH and I can handle it now. I learned a lot about myself and about the laboring experience. I was able to advocate for myself. DH is not great under pressure but he is a great support always. I think I'm going to ask my sister to be with me next time. If getting a doula was much less expensive in this area it would be a no-brainer for me but as it is now I think we're going to go without. I feel optimistic that I'll still be able to have the med-free birth that I want.
@runrinserepeat where is crunchville? I live in San Francisco which is pretty darn crunchy.
@ccccaaatt I would do it, only because I loved when the birth team pampered me (cupped my back, used essential oils, etc) and the only memory I have of my husband during birth was him force-feeding me bites of bagel between contractions while I was lying on pillows on the bed. I really hated him right then!
But the other good thing about the doula is that she can give your husband a break, so he can rest up before the action starts.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
FTM here. Any STM think I should investigate hiring a doula if I plan to use a birth center and midwife care? My husband will also be advocating for me. Is it redundant to have midwife care and a doula?
I think it depends on your relationship with the midwives and if there will be other births there. At our free standing birth center there aren’t only two birthing rooms and both rooms have their own MW team.
I’m only having a student doula this time because she needs the birth for her certificate. I generally crack jokes and want to be not touched when I’m in labor.
DD1 | Jan 2009 DD2 | June 2011 DS1 | Oct 2013 ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001) DS2 | June 2016 DS3 | Dec 2018
My first was a home birth that turned into a c section. I had hard and fast back labor with cx right on top of each other from midnight to ~6am and got to 9.5 with my husband, doula, and two midwives. My doula is a good friend of ours and she was amazing and spelled my husband and convinced me I didn’t need to clean up after my water exploded everywhere. Totally recommend a good doula as an asset if you think you and your partner could use one.
It was a great experience and I feel really good about how all of it went, including the C! We knew my son was posterior and I could tell when we were pushing at home for ~90min that he was good and stuck for some reason. I just “knew.” My midwives were fantastic and listened to me and my instincts and we packed up and drove an hour (cx ~1-2min apart, 1min long, 9.5cm) to our preferred hospital where the midwife there confirmed he was definitely stuck for some reason. After a little more time his stats kept dropping so the hospital did a gentle C with my favorite music on and placed my giant baby on me to nurse while they stitched me up. My home midwife and husband were with me the whole time and my midwife was allowed to video the C, they worked hard to make it a positive experience. It was magic. Apparently my pelvis is oddly shaped and he was huge and posterior, so he just got wedged and couldn’t back up and turn to get out.
If I could get cleared to, I’d try it all the same way bc the plan and the backups all worked so well. Since I can’t get cleared to try for home birth, we’ve moved closer to the hospital our son was delivered at and have an amazing OB there who will let us decide as late as we want whether we prefer VBAC or repeat gentle C and no pressure to schedule in advance or induce early (I’m AMA and went 41+4 with my son), so I can labor and decide gentle c during the process if it goes the same way. The flexibility is great. We may be moving though and I’m nervous about finding another hospital and OB that’s as accommodating.
Question - what’s the difference between a Gentle C Section and a regular C Section? (Too lazy to Google right meow)
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echo-charlietango depends on the hospital, but generally includes options to make the C-section less clinical and offer more personalization and control to the parents to reduce trauma and improve baby/mother outcomes. Things range from music from your playlist, clear drapes so you can see the baby come out, slowed delivery, delayed cord clamping, quick placement of baby on Mom after birth, nursing while being closed, an additional support person, etc. I had most of these options and most importantly felt that I was a part of the process and decision making. Also- having the video and being able to witness the birth help me to frame it positively. Frequently, video of c-sections isn’t allowed due to liability concerns. I haven’t had another c-section, so I can’t compare, but I don’t feel that I have any trauma from it and love watching my son’s birth so I’m a fan of the minor changes they made.
@hbmama21 I am very encouraged by your story. I had planned to have a water birth in the natural birthing center that is attached to a hospital (the only birthing center in the area). I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios at 25 weeks and it became more severe as my pregnancy went on. By 40 weeks 1 day, I had 3 times the typical amount of amniotic fluid and had to be induced. The plan was I would go in at 7 pm and be given cervadil overnight and a folly bulb would be inserted in the morning, if necessary. Then, as long as things were stable, I could be transferred to th birthing center. Unfortunately, that never happened because despite the folly bulb getting me to 3 cm and my water breaking, I was not making any progress on my own and DS’s heart rate was not reacting well to any position except for me laying on my left side in bed. So, they introduced pitocin, which over the course of the day was kicked up to 16. I labored for 34 hours and then after 2 internal contraction monitors and 2 internal heart rate monitors were inserted (one of which, the nurse said hurt her arm to insert?!?) I consented to the epidural. I finally went from a 4 to a 7, but then my cervix began to swell and I was basically going backward. My temp started to go up and they noticed some protein in my urine, as well, so my doctor very gently recommended a c section. At that point we had been at the hospital for 40 hours and my water had been broken for 27 hours, so it seemed like the right call. I still feel some sadness that I did not get the experience I had hoped for. The hardest part was that because I was shaking so badly, I did not get to hold my son until he was almost an hour old. We had a tough start to our breastfeeding journey and it was hard not to feel guilty for missing out on that initial skin to skin and wondering if that was the culprit. I am going back and forth on if I want to try for a VBAC this time or if we should just schedule a c section. DS was stuck on my pelvic bone, which is why I was not progressing and there is a chance that could happen again. The trama of the contractions pushing his skull against my bone actually changed the shape of his head and caused some suction issues that thankfully an OT was able to correct. He is 100% fine now l, thank God. I just do not want another experience like that, especially now with DS at home. We ended up being in the hospital for5 nights and I would hate to be away for that long. Sorry this is so long. Once I got started, I couldn’t stop sharing.
@katy0990 I'm sorry your birth didn't go the way you hoped. It sounds quite traumatic. Would you do anything differently if you were to do it again?
It would be nice to have a doula, but $1000+ is a lot of money. We're fortunate to be in the position where we could swing it if necessary when I bet many women in our city can't. I'm just not sure the cost-benefit analysis is in favor right now. I don't think my insurance would cover any of it. It seems like I might be able to use my HSA funds that I have leftover from a previous job to pay for it, but that wouldn't be super helpful since we were planning on using those for the rest of the medical bills for this pregnancy/birth.
I had a med-free water birth at a free standing birth center with only a midwife and her assistant monitoring the birth. The environment was calm the whole time and it was nice not being hooked up to monitors. We waited to cut the cord until after I delivered the placenta. I wouldn’t have changed anything about my birth experience. The birth center unfortunately has closed so I will be delivering in a hospital. They have birthing suites and allow women to labor in the tub (my OB practice doesn’t let you deliver in the tub though, which is a bummer but not a deal breaker). I threw up a lot during labor, and not just during transition, so I do look forward to being able to get some meds for that if it happens again. I didn’t have a doula but my midwife was very receptive to my needs as I was the only patient she had to focus on, and with no interventions there wasn’t any need to have an advocate. I remember not really wanting to be touched or talked to during labor so I’m not sure I’ll go the doula route this time either.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@kadeephd The only thing I would do differently is I would have consented to the c section sooner. Those internal monitors hurt so bad to be inserted and I ended up needing to heal vaginally due to the swelling in addition to my c section recovery.
@katy0990 I’m so sorry it was a long struggle and love that your son is great now. Mine had some neck torsion from being stuck as well (his head was always turned to one side), it was pretty mild though. I really hope they can have a strong plan for you knowing your history now and you have a great labor and birth. We are leaning towards trying if baby isn’t posterior, but if it stops progressing, just moving to gentle C without the other interventions since we know my history. I’m hopeful that we will have a good outcome again.
I was shaking a good bit (I’m sure not as a bad as you after your lengthy labor!!) so my husband held my son on me and helped him latch while they closed. It was a while before I could really wrap my arms around him and “hold” him myself. Nursing photo in spoiler NSFW
@hbmama21 That is a beautiful photo. I will have to keep that idea in mind if I do have a repeat c section. Since neither of us had ever done it before, the idea of him helping me latch DS never occurred to us.
@katy0990 your birth experience sounds very similar to my sister’s first birth, which was the first birth I’d ever witnessed. I’m sorry you didn’t get anything near the birth you’d planned. Idk if this helps you, but my sister had a repeat c-section with her 2cd and she was so much happier and more relaxed. She’s also had a lot easier time breastfeeding baby #2, and she told me she felt a bit guilty about not nursing baby #1 for as long, but I’ve told her not to worry. Baby #1 is now my smart, empathetic, and athletic little spitfire almost 1st grade niece!
@hbmama21 what a beautifu photo, and thanks for sharing your experience. Important to remember that though we all have a plan in mind, our reaction and response when things don't go according to plan really does shape the experience and our memories of it. Whatever happens during our labor and deliveries, I hope we each have a positive experience!
FTM here. Any STM think I should investigate hiring a doula if I plan to use a birth center and midwife care? My husband will also be advocating for me. Is it redundant to have midwife care and a doula?
I think it depends on your relationship with the midwives and if there will be other births there. At our free standing birth center there aren’t only two birthing rooms and both rooms have their own MW team.
I’m only having a student doula this time because she needs the birth for her certificate. I generally crack jokes and want to be not touched when I’m in labor.
*lurker*
Plus one to this. I had my daughter at a freestanding birth center. They had a few birthing rooms and also do home births, so they could potentially have multiple births going on at once. The same midwife stayed with me the whole time. She left during labor for half an hour to an hour at a time and left my husband and I alone. They do this because they want the mom the most comfortable and relaxed to labor as she can be. They'll stay if you want, but usually leave the room (and of course, you can call them back) for stretches. But it was always the same one coming back, and then a second one joined once the birth got closer, and she stayed the whole time as well.
Aso, at my practice, if you end up needing to be transferred to the hospital, the midwife comes with you and stays with you through delivery and awhile afterward and essentially acts as a doula.
For me, I never felt like I needed a doula, and I still don't for future children, assuming I don't become high risk and can stay at this practice.
It largely comes down to trust, I think. I trusted my midwives to do whatever was necessary to keep me and my baby safe. I knew from the type of practice I chose and their philosophies on birth that they aligned with what I wanted and would not do any interventions unless absolutely necessary and would do their a solte best to ensure I wouldn't need interventions. I ended up getting a shot of pitocin in the thigh right after the birth because my uterus did not contract down right away. I have never questioned that because I completely trusted them.
@rinserunrepeat Your labor stories are amazing! That gives me hope that maybe my labor with this one will go well too.
@hbmama21 I love that even though everything didn't go 100% as planned you still had a great experience and everything went well.
@katy0990 I am sorry about your experience. I hope this time is better for you. Before even going into labor, I told myself chances are this won't go as I had "planned" in my head and that I just needed to go with the flow (which is NOT the type of person I am lol).
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
I’ve been trying to decide if this should go here or the great birth advice thread, but it’s not really a question, just me worrying. I plan to deliver in a hospital, with a CNM. I’ve been attending a clinic nearby the hospital nearest me, and they partner specifically there. It has ok reviews, it’s not our best hospital in town, but not bad. My SO was born there, lots of babies are born there, it’s pretty busy. If I want to change hospitals, I’d have to change clinics too. Which is fine, I don’t “love” mine- I don’t think I’ll “love” any of them though.
The high number of births makes me worry about bed turnover and medical interventions to speed up labor. I really want to deliver how I want (which I haven’t decided yet, but probably not the classic on my back). I know a doula will help advocate for my birth ideal, but is there a way I can just be bitchy enough to get what I want? Doula’s are really expensive in my area and that’s not something we’d thought about budgeting for.
Re: June Med-Free/Home Birth/Birth Center Support Thread
This time I'll be giving birth in a hospital. Husband doesn't really want to be involved because of what happened last time -- he wants to be well-rested if he needs to advocate for the baby after it's born (hopefully that won't be an issue, goodness!). My mom will be around but she doesn't really doula -- she just sits back and lets labor happen. So I'm hiring a doula (it's actually a team of two) to help me through and to also help advocate for me as needed.
I had my initial meeting with the doulas today and OMG am I glad I did. I'm going to be switching my OB ASAP. Apparently this guy automatically induces at 39 weeks and does c-sections 12 hours after water breaks. The hospital requires continual monitoring so there's not even walking around in labor. They don't let you pee in the toilet -- bedpan only. No eating. Not even ice chips. Just bad news after bad news with this hospital.
The doulas recommended an OB group that practices at the other hospital in town, which is a little further away from me. I'd actually been looking at it online pre-KU because it has a Family Birthing Center but when my insurance referred me to my current OB I thought, "Well, that's fine. I'll just stick with him because it's easy." This place, though, is a dream compared to the first hospital. There are tubs and squat bars for labor, they only require monitoring 20 minutes out of the hour and have waterproof equipment so I can stay in the tub if I want to, I can eat during labor, move around as much as I want, have so many more options after the baby comes, can do Golden Hour, rooming-in, etc.
Phew. So I hired their butts and am now super looking forward to December.
Also I was looking into Hypnobabies today. Thoughts? Anyone?
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
I don’t really have any updates. IFL my OB, she’s just the best. She probably won’t be around when I’m in labor but the hospital is cool with how I like to labor so I’m not too worried.
Kind of wondering how to brush up on the Bradley method. Not really feeling taking the classes again and idk where any of my books are anymore. Blah.
Anyway, I called Tricare and changed my provider this morning. It was 100% without hassle, thank goodness. My original plan was to labor at home for as long as possible, but now I might change my mind since this new place has tubs and mine sucks!
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
This time I was to be able to labor at home first, walk around, use water if I feel like it, have more control over positions, and if I do wind up using medication, I want to have a much smaller dose so I can feel enough to be more effective with pushing. I also don’t want to be induced unless I’m 41 weeks by my pretty accurate calculations (tracking ovulation).
I almost outed my pregnancy on facebook recently because I wanted to ask a local moms group about doula recommendations. My new OB is cool with me having a doula and actually suggested it on her own as a way for me to have more control and support during delivery. My husband is awesome, but he is not going to effectively take charge under stress in this situation.
I am going to start this with my story of my first labor and birth, because it was pretty much EXACTLY what I wanted. I want the same this time too, but maybe a shorter labor? If I count from when the "cramps" started to when my water broke it was 24 hours. Some TMI below.
I was up on May 26 at 3:00am with some cramps and had to pee. There was blood. I used a pad and called the midwife because I was worried (I had just lost my mucus plug and had some bloody show the previous day). From talking to her, they didn't think it sounded like labor. The "cramps" continued most of the day so I spent the day vacuuming, doing laundry, catching up on some work stuff, and watching Big Bang Theory. Anyway, this continued all day. I did some bouncing on my exercise ball. DH bought me home pancakes for dinner and we ate, he'd be talking and I'd have to tell him to stop so I could focus when I was having a contraction. Honestly I had no idea I was in labor, I just thought I was getting ready for labor. *eye roll* I started timing the cramps at some point just to see and eventually went up to bed because I didn't want to snap on DH. I was somehow able to sleep between contractions, even though they were like 4 minutes apart. I felt a pop and shot up out of bed and ran to the bathroom at 3:00am. My water had broke. I called the midwife while on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor and from what I said she still didn't think it sounded like I was ready to go. She said to eat something, take a shower, then come in. I took a 45 minute shower, mostly because couldn't stand up. I managed to get out and DH helped me get dressed. We didn't get out of the house until 7:00am. She arrived at the hospital at almost 8:00am. They wheeled me up to the labor and delivery floor. They checked me and I was at 10 and ready to push. DS was here less than two hours later. I got exactly what wanted - a med free birth where I labored mostly at home. And since I was alone most of the time, I didn't say anything mean to anyone I love. LOL
Also, the weeks leading up to labor I was doing perineal massage once a day. While I was pushing, my midwife was massaging. I highly recommend it, it helps with tearing. I think I only needed two stitches.
I hope my labor with this one is similar. Sorry for the book of a post.
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!I didn’t have the exact birth I wanted last time and ended up getting an epidural because they forced the IV and continuous monitoring on me (two of the many reasons is switched practices and hospitals.)
To make it even crazier I didn’t meet my doula until 2am, naked in the shower. My doula was at another birth so I got her backup.
But even with all that my doula was worth every penny and double her weight in gold. She was super supportive of both H and I. She was able to focus solely on me so that he could take a nap and be ready when it was go time.
She massaged me feet, kept me warm when epidural gave me the chills, repositioned me every hour or so to encourage the baby to move down, set the atmosphere in the room with led candles and lavender, held the bucket when i puked (also epidural side effect) and probably so much more that I don’t remember.
After the birth she visited me the next day and helped us establish a great breast feeding relationship and came back a week later to check on us. She also was available via text for months after when I was freaking out as a new mom and confused by so much.
I am not sure if all doulas are as great as she is, but if you are looking and interviewing these can be some great things to ask about.
I am am going to ask her if she will be my doula again, even though she’s in school now studying to be a midwife.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!One of the main reasons I know she was so worth it, is I don’t even remember exactly how much she cost.
I could literally go on and on about the benefits. But I especially think so if you are delivering in a hospital. It can be hard to advocate for yourself when you are in labor and hard for your partner because they are freaked out and also focusing on you.
The doula is someone who does birth for a living. Has seen it all. Isn’t shocked by anything and can keep a level head.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
You guys, my births have been so chill. DH is so on board and knows how to advocate for me. But also, I like to be left the hell alone and I had no problem either time telling the nurses to back off if they were bothering me. Hell, I think even DH felt a little left out the first time (after I made him take all those classes, I just fell asleep in the bathtub and he made sure the monitor didn't slip off. The next time, he had soccer playing in the room the whole time while I ignored him. Poor guy.
My first birth, my water broke at home and I came in while I was in transition. They insisted on constant monitoring because my BP was off the charts, but other than that I got away with no IV and just some oral zofran so I'd stop puking. Like I said, I mostly fell asleep in the bathtub until it was time to push.
My second one, my water broke before I started active labor, so I just stayed home for the first 10 hours. When I went in, they agreed to intermittent monitoring, so I had to be back in my room once an hour, but other than that I
just walked laps around the unit until things picked up.
I do live in crunch-ville, so I'm sure my hospital is not typical. But given my good experiences I'm going in thinking positive.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
I jumped per right into active labor with contractions 4 min apart. And then 2 min apart within an hour.
I needed some help. LOL
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
• I know which OB I want, but I always miss his office hours (they don't have an answering machine or email address...and close early on Fridays). His bio specifies that he advocates vaginal birthing but can offer interventions when requested.
• I've mostly settled on the hospital, I'll just go to the one nearest my house because #1 I also want to labor at home as long as possible, and #2 none of the hospitals have what I want, so they're equally disappointing so far. My chosen OB can deliver at the area "top" hospitals, so I will ask him specific labor questions as soon as I hopefully meet him.
• I'm on the fence about hiring a doula. The one I'm considering will be new to the area, so she won't have provider insights like @PensiveCrayon 's doulas...but she's affordable. Also on the fence because I know that DH will be an excellent advocate for me. His job is all about taking charge in high stress situations, and I know he can do it well with me. I might hire this doula for three visits; 1) labor & delivery to assure DH of what is normal, and back up DH (or give him a break), 2) one day later as a personal LC, and 3) a week later to make sure I'm alive / healing normally and check for PPD or PPA symptoms.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
But the other good thing about the doula is that she can give your husband a break, so he can rest up before the action starts.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
I’m only having a student doula this time because she needs the birth for her certificate. I generally crack jokes and want to be not touched when I’m in labor.
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
It was a great experience and I feel really good about how all of it went, including the C! We knew my son was posterior and I could tell when we were pushing at home for ~90min that he was good and stuck for some reason. I just “knew.” My midwives were fantastic and listened to me and my instincts and we packed up and drove an hour (cx ~1-2min apart, 1min long, 9.5cm) to our preferred hospital where the midwife there confirmed he was definitely stuck for some reason. After a little more time his stats kept dropping so the hospital did a gentle C with my favorite music on and placed my giant baby on me to nurse while they stitched me up. My home midwife and husband were with me the whole time and my midwife was allowed to video the C, they worked hard to make it a positive experience. It was magic. Apparently my pelvis is oddly shaped and he was huge and posterior, so he just got wedged and couldn’t back up and turn to get out.
If I could get cleared to, I’d try it all the same way bc the plan and the backups all worked so well. Since I can’t get cleared to try for home birth, we’ve moved closer to the hospital our son was delivered at and have an amazing OB there who will let us decide as late as we want whether we prefer VBAC or repeat gentle C and no pressure to schedule in advance or induce early (I’m AMA and went 41+4 with my son), so I can labor and decide gentle c during the process if it goes the same way. The flexibility is great. We may be moving though and I’m nervous about finding another hospital and OB that’s as accommodating.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I had planned to have a water birth in the natural birthing center that is attached to a hospital (the only birthing center in the area). I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios at 25 weeks and it became more severe as my pregnancy went on. By 40 weeks 1 day, I had 3 times the typical amount of amniotic fluid and had to be induced. The plan was I would go in at 7 pm and be given cervadil overnight and a folly bulb would be inserted in the morning, if necessary. Then, as long as things were stable, I could be transferred to th birthing center. Unfortunately, that never happened because despite the folly bulb getting me to 3 cm and my water breaking, I was not making any progress on my own and DS’s heart rate was not reacting well to any position except for me laying on my left side in bed. So, they introduced pitocin, which over the course of the day was kicked up to 16. I labored for 34 hours and then after 2 internal contraction monitors and 2 internal heart rate monitors were inserted (one of which, the nurse said hurt her arm to insert?!?) I consented to the epidural. I finally went from a 4 to a 7, but then my cervix began to swell and I was basically going backward. My temp started to go up and they noticed some protein in my urine, as well, so my doctor very gently recommended a c section. At that point we had been at the hospital for 40 hours and my water had been broken for 27 hours, so it seemed like the right call. I still feel some sadness that I did not get the experience I had hoped for. The hardest part was that because I was shaking so badly, I did not get to hold my son until he was almost an hour old. We had a tough start to our breastfeeding journey and it was hard not to feel guilty for missing out on that initial skin to skin and wondering if that was the culprit.
I am going back and forth on if I want to try for a VBAC this time or if we should just schedule a c section. DS was stuck on my pelvic bone, which is why I was not progressing and there is a chance that could happen again. The trama of the contractions pushing his skull against my bone actually changed the shape of his head and caused some suction issues that thankfully an OT was able to correct. He is 100% fine now l, thank God. I just do not want another experience like that, especially now with DS at home. We ended up being in the hospital for5 nights and I would hate to be away for that long.
Sorry this is so long. Once I got started, I couldn’t stop sharing.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
I was shaking a good bit (I’m sure not as a bad as you after your lengthy labor!!) so my husband held my son on me and helped him latch while they closed. It was a while before I could really wrap my arms around him and “hold” him myself.
Nursing photo in spoiler NSFW
Idk if this helps you, but my sister had a repeat c-section with her 2cd and she was so much happier and more relaxed. She’s also had a lot easier time breastfeeding baby #2, and she told me she felt a bit guilty about not nursing baby #1 for as long, but I’ve told her not to worry. Baby #1 is now my smart, empathetic, and athletic little spitfire almost 1st grade niece!
Plus one to this. I had my daughter at a freestanding birth center. They had a few birthing rooms and also do home births, so they could potentially have multiple births going on at once. The same midwife stayed with me the whole time. She left during labor for half an hour to an hour at a time and left my husband and I alone. They do this because they want the mom the most comfortable and relaxed to labor as she can be. They'll stay if you want, but usually leave the room (and of course, you can call them back) for stretches. But it was always the same one coming back, and then a second one joined once the birth got closer, and she stayed the whole time as well.
Aso, at my practice, if you end up needing to be transferred to the hospital, the midwife comes with you and stays with you through delivery and awhile afterward and essentially acts as a doula.
For me, I never felt like I needed a doula, and I still don't for future children, assuming I don't become high risk and can stay at this practice.
It largely comes down to trust, I think. I trusted my midwives to do whatever was necessary to keep me and my baby safe. I knew from the type of practice I chose and their philosophies on birth that they aligned with what I wanted and would not do any interventions unless absolutely necessary and would do their a solte best to ensure I wouldn't need interventions. I ended up getting a shot of pitocin in the thigh right after the birth because my uterus did not contract down right away. I have never questioned that because I completely trusted them.
@rinserunrepeat Your labor stories are amazing! That gives me hope that maybe my labor with this one will go well too.
@hbmama21 I love that even though everything didn't go 100% as planned you still had a great experience and everything went well.
@katy0990 I am sorry about your experience. I hope this time is better for you. Before even going into labor, I told myself chances are this won't go as I had "planned" in my head and that I just needed to go with the flow (which is NOT the type of person I am lol).
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!The high number of births makes me worry about bed turnover and medical interventions to speed up labor. I really want to deliver how I want (which I haven’t decided yet, but probably not the classic on my back). I know a doula will help advocate for my birth ideal, but is there a way I can just be bitchy enough to get what I want? Doula’s are really expensive in my area and that’s not something we’d thought about budgeting for.