TTCAL week of June 4

zamoraspin · June 2018

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite?

zamoraspin · June 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Hi. I am going through my fourth first tri mc in 12 months. We started trying for our first in March of 2017. I had an mmc (blighted ovum) last June, a CP last August, another I guess blighted ovum last November, and then I got pregnant for a fourth time this April. I had crazy high, amazing hCG (had problems with doubling in my first two pregnancies), and we saw a perfect HB and a baby measuring 6w2d (a couple days behind), then the following week the baby grew perfectly but the HB had stopped within 24 hours of our appt. I had a D&C last Tuesday. We are trying (again, we tried this once before and it was inconclusive) to do genetic testing on our little embryo to maybe, finally, get some kind of diagnosis.

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? It’s jyst too early to say. Taking it one day at a time.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? The genetic testing will (hopefully) tell us whether the embryo was normal or not. Depending on the results we will either be moving to IVF with PGS or trying for yet another spontaneous pregnancy and adding low molecular weight Heparin. Honestly don’t know what to hope for at this point.

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? Sweet peas. I have this memory of when I was a teen and a friend of the family brought my mom a giant bunch of gorgeous sweet peas from her garden. They smelled amazing and were so gorgeous.

prpl11butterfly · June 2018

@zamora_spin I'm so sorry. It's breaking my heart to see so many ladies returning. I hope you can get some answers. Also, I love the smell of sweetpea. It's actually 1 of the few floral scents I like.

Afm.....

Status: WTO/CD2

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are not going well. Last week I had a moment of acceptance that it wasn't our month. Then a temp spike and I was excited. I had that 1 test left.....it was like a sign. And it was a BFN. But I was okay. 12 dpo was still early, there was still a chance. But yesterday's temp disagreed and I was just done. There was a lot of crying. There was very little communication. DH walked into the bedroom to find me in the closet with clothes thrown all over the bed and maternity bagged up for storage. He was not pleased. Kept reminding that I would need it, not to pack it up. I just couldn't have it there anymore. I need my closet for clothes that fit. And that's another rough point. Not much fits and doesn't take me loom pregnant. I need to lose weight but I can't seem to do it. I eat my emotions when I'm alone and I really need to stop. Salads for lunch won't do me any good if I go directly to eating half a bag of cheetos.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nothing

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? No favorite. They are all pretty (except tiger Lilly which brings back bad memories and unfortunately surround my house no matter how hard I try to kill them). I just can't do floral scents but I can enjoy their beauty.

nitnat007 · June 2018

@zamora_spin I am just here to say that I am so sorry to see you back here friend! All the hugs! I hope that you are able to get some answers through this testing for moving forward.

sparklingdiamond · June 2018

@zamora_spin I am so sorry for your loss

@prpl11butterfly I am sorry for the BFN.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. I had a chemical pregnancy, miscarriage around 7 weeks, and a stillbirth at 32 weeks

Status: Technically not supposed to try this cycle, but am already on CD 31 with no ovulation, so not like I could try even if I wanted to.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I was super angry all weekend. Part of it was because Sun was the 12 week mark since we lost our daughter. Also because my stupid foot won't heal and I can't exercise. And also because my body had alllll the signs of ovulating last week and then no temp rise. I am beyond frustrated. I also had 8 days of spotting which I have never had before. This morning, DH told me I am getting too obsessive over this. I know he is right, but it's so hard not to.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I am wanting to make an appt with my RE to get all my labs redone. Hormones, thyroid, etc. I haven't had a full workup in several years and maybe the results could give me some insight.

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? I love peonies. They are beautiful and I love the way they smell.

coco2787 · June 2018

*lurking*

@zamora_spin I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you. I hope the genetic testing can give you some answers, but I know that won't help ease the pain. RPL is so cruel.

suzycupcake · June 2018

No words @zamora_spin just

and stranger hugs

TJtheGoat · June 2018

@zamora_spin Im so sorry to see you back here. I hope the genetic testing will give some answers.

@prpl11butterfly I’m sorry that your DH is having a hard time figuring out how to support you through this. I can definitely understand why you wouldn’t want the mat clothes hanging in your closet.

One CP in April.

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I have been super crazy busy the last two weeks doing inspections on our new house and I’m on call at work. I worked all night the past couple nights so barely had time to think about TTC stuff. But in the back of my mind I thought I would magically get knocked up the first cycle after the CP and that did not happen. I was trying to convince myself at first that it wasn’t really my period. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nothing going on here.

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite?
I love hydrangeas. My grandma always had them planted in front of her house and they bring back good memories. I also think peonies are beautiful and I like orchids too. Actually, I like all the flowers except gardenia and carnation.

kindbytealikat · June 2018

@zamora_spin my heart aches to see you back here
@prpl11butterfly I am on the same page about getting the pregnancy clothes were I don't have to look at them. I totally get the frustration with DH too. It's good he's trying to be optimistic and cheer you up but if you're like me sometimes I just want someone to say this sucks with me, and do what you need.

HI GUYS!!! I'm back from my hiatus and hello to the new faces, i'm sorry you guys have to be here.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Two first Tri MC's (8/17, 1/18)

Status: Back on the TTC boat, WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going pretty well. My bump hiatus helped me to relax and wrap my head around things, and fully get ready to give it another go. A FB group i'm in has had a high number of pregnany/new babies recently and that's been ok, but this weekend one of my IRL friends told me she was pregnant and I took it pretty hard.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nada

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? I'm with @TJtheGoat I love Hydrangeas. I have them as the bridesmaids bouquets at my wedding and I just think they are so classic and pretty.

holly321 · June 2018

@zamora_spin, I am heartbroken for you. I am so terribly sorry. I hope you get some answers.

@prpl11butterfly, I am sorry you are having a rough time. It sucks, you want to try and be hopeful and positive, but it makes it that much worse.

@sparklingdiamond, *hugs* any sort of "anniversary" or milestone is such a cruel reminder. I hope you heal well and soon to get back to exercising. It has been such a wonderful mental help for me.

drewsdarlin · June 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Had 5 miscarriages. March 2000, October 17, 2002, June 14, 2005, May 12, 2010 after second IUI worked, March 23, 2015

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Struggling with June 14 coming up soon date we lost third baby Alexis Jade. Going well spending time with hubby and our dog.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? Sunflowers

CraftyG · June 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Loss at 13 weeks Jan 16, loss at 9 weeks Oct 17

Status: TWW CD25?

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Sorry for my absence the past few weeks, life just takes over sometimes you know but i missed you all! Rant - Just been a bit more emotional recently, lots of nightmares that haven’t been helping and i’ve been drinking more than i probably should be.
Rave - I had a nice moment this weekend where we walked to the shops and sat in the park with some beers on the way home. Just nice and relaxing

Any testing coming up/any recent results? WFAF

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favourite? I love babys breath and daffodils or anything pretty and colorful

CraftyG · June 2018

@zamora_spin oh sweetheart I’m so unbelievably sorry that you find yourself back here, I’m thinking of you and sending you all the hugs

@prpl11butterfly I’m sorry about your husband I swear sometimes it’s like they have to act in a way that’s completely opposite of what you need. Making healthy decisions is another one I’m struggling with so I feel you there

@sparklingdiamond I’m sorry for the anniversary it’s such a reminder shoved in your face. As for the obsession it’s so much easier said than done, you can’t just decide to stop grieving and be back to normal

@TJtheGoat A new house that sounds exciting! TTC brain makes you crazy I swear I’ve 100% done The was it a period or was it just a heavy implantation bleeding? Effing cray

@kindbytealikat Welcome back! Sounds like the break was exactly what you needed and I’m sorry for the influx of pregnancy announcements that’s necer easy

@drewsdarlin I’m sorry for the anniversary coming up that’s always such a hard thing to deal with

drewsdarlin · June 2018

@CraftyG Thank you

catlady2015 · June 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss, blighted ovum discovered 5/29.

Status: Benched for cycle to return.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? First week back at work post-MC. I took all last week off to deal with it and it was really smart of me to do, having some difficulty keeping my mind in the game but feel like it's good to be trying to do normal things.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No testing - but a check in with my doc tomorrow to make sure everything's all right.

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? I love lilies and peonies. I love the look and smell of lilies, I had to transfer my allegiance to peonies once I got cats because lilies are so toxic to them. I just love the beautiful blossom of the peonies, but I also like hydrangeas. I hope to plant a few peony bushes at our new house, one in honor of this little one that could have been.

catlady2015 · June 2018

@zamora_spin - sweet pea is beautiful and smells good too. I hope the genetic testing will give you some information. I know it can be a crapshoot as to how helpful it can be, but I hope it can tell you something this time.

@prpl11butterfly - I hear you! I'm an emotional eater too. I have so much ice cream and fritos in my house right now it's pitiful. I don't think the guys get how hard it is to have these things staring us in the face as reminders.

@TJtheGoat - hi, friend! I'm glad work has been a distraction for you. is everything OK with the new house?

@kindbytealikat - welcome back!

TJtheGoat · June 2018

@catlady2015 We got all the inspections done so we are set to close on the 21st. I’m excited, but dreading having to move in 100 degree weather. I’m glad you were able to take time off of work recover.

suzycupcake · June 2018

Oh @catlady2015, sweetheart I'm so sorry

lelkcot · June 2018

@zamora_spin I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you get some answers from the genetic testing.

@prpl11butterfly I tend to eat my feeling too, not the healthiest habit, but tasty... Just need to figure out how to convince ourselves binge eating carrots is just as satisfying as chocolate.

@TJtheGoat hope all the new house stuff goes smoothly! It’s so exciting and stressful at the same time.

@catlady2015 I am so sorry for your loss. Taking some time off to deal sounds like a healthy way to give yourself time to grieve.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP in March, early loss end of May. Hoping to meet with my OB to discuss possibly issues and testing.

Status: waiting for the bleeding to stop.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I found out last week that a miscarriage was imminent and thought I was doing better with everything this week. Until DH made some crack about “stop whining” when I complained about the cramps last night (he wasn’t trying to be a jerk, he just doesn’t seem to be as affected by our losses as I have been) and I lost it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? My hcg only drop 3 points in a week... looking like this is going to take a long time to get back to trying. yet another blood draw next week to see if it’s dropping faster or if they need to speed things along.

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? Somewhere between roses and peonies. I have both growing in a tiered bed in my backyard and they’re gorgeous!

diaphena · June 2018

Hi everyone, I posted here for a very brief time in March right after my loss, then disappeared for a while. I deactivated all my social media to avoid any pregnancy or baby posts, and shortly after that realized I needed a Bump break too. I was feeling like I just didn't have much to say, wasn't able to give much support and there was temptation to go stalk my old BMB so that wasn't good. But anyway, I'm jumping back in now and hoping I can participate more than before.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. First pregnancy and loss in March

Status: TWW probably?? Not temping so I can't be certain.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am doing pretty well overall. I have been able to process a lot of my grief over the last few months and although certain things will still bring it up, it's not eating me up like before. I am feeling more like myself and feeling more eager to be pregnant again. Work and life in general have been pretty busy so I've been stressed out but I'm managing pretty well. As far as TTC goes, we were benched one cycle and have been "trying"-ish since then. I haven't been temping or tracking any signs (I have PCOS so secondary signs aren't very reliable for me anyway) but did try to time sex for around the middle of my cycle this time. Next cycle I may get back to temping but I haven't decided for sure... I can feel the TTC-crazies setting back in for me either way, haha.

GTKY: Do you have a favorite flower, and if so, what is it? Why is it your favorite? I don't have a strong favorite but I do love roses because my mom used to have a gorgeous rose garden. She let it go because they were so difficult to keep healthy.

@catlady2015 I remember you from BOTB. I am so sorry to see you here

catlady2015 · June 2018

@diaphena - I remember you too! I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you feel able to join us again and you feel more like yourself.

TJtheGoat · June 2018

@LElkCot Im sorry your husband was being a jerk. Did he apologize after you called him out? Also, I love the idea of a tiered bed of roses/peonies! Something to add to the list for the new house.

lelkcot · June 2018

@TJtheGoat thank you, he did - apologized and cuddled me (he is not big on cuddling

), he just seems so confused as to my still being upset over the loss (even though it’s still happening). We just seem to be reacting very differently to this.
And yes, I just want to add more to those beds! Actually have a rose “tree” waiting to be planted now!

kindbytealikat · June 2018

@LElkCot picture?

lelkcot · June 2018

@kindbytealikat I’ll share one when I get home! Although it’s definitely not at its best right now (my poor peonies are looking a bit worse for the wear right now).

lelkcot · June 2018

Not a great picture, but you can see the rose bushes and kind of see the peonies in the very back.

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