I've decided that it doesn't matter what you dress your child in. I would have DD wear pink and a bow and she would still be called a boy. Or if I was carrying her people would just assume one sex and comment DH and I came up with the response" actually she's a girl, but I know it's hard to tell when all you see is a head" . Dress your child however you want to.
I think a lot of things we assign gender to aren't really gendered. Like playing outside and getting dirty aren't "boy" things they are kid things. My daughter spent this morning running around exploring a local trail with a group of other toddlers, girls and boys, and had a ton of fun.
I go back and forth on how girly to dress DD. I rarely put her in dresses because they tend to interfere with her climbing and I get tired of trying to get mud out of pastels, but I don't want her to feel like she has to choose between dressing "girly," or liking traditionally girl things if that's what she wants and things like being active or getting dirty. When I was in grad school (I have a PhD in chemistry) in order to be taken seriously you couldn't dress too "feminine," you had to be "one of the guys." I don't want DD to think there is anything wrong with being a girl or girly.
I don't like the phrase "boys will be boys" like when a little boy is running around getting into everything and being destructive and I hear someone say "oh well boys will just be boys" like no your kid is being an a-hole get it together
I really don’t care what people dress their own kids in. There are days DD is in dino pants and may get called a cute boy. That doesn’t bother me much. Then there are days she is in bows and wearing pink everything. She still gets called a cute baby boy by strangers and I’m confused but whatever. I think it was the lack of hair for her, lol.
I dress DD based on what I find cute and it’s honestly a little bit of everything.
Also, Hawaiian pizza is good but I’m so basic and my usual go to is just good old slice of cheese pizza. If I feel fancy though, I may grab a slice of supreme.
My UO: I sometimes put Sriracha sauce on my cheese pizza. It adds a bit of a kick. Yum.
I believe God gave us our gender at birth and our gender should be celebrated as God made us. Along those lines I believe girls should be dressed as girls, and boys as boys. I disagree with “gender neutrality” and “you can pick whatever gender you want.” God didn’t make any mistakes when he made us. God loves us so much.
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I think it's stupid that in our board organization it says not to ask for relationship advice. Why do you need to consult with a professional over relationship advice? That seems a bit OTT.
I go back and forth on how girly to dress DD. I rarely put her in dresses because they tend to interfere with her climbing and I get tired of trying to get mud out of pastels, but I don't want her to feel like she has to choose between dressing "girly," or liking traditionally girl things if that's what she wants and things like being active or getting dirty. When I was in grad school (I have a PhD in chemistry) in order to be taken seriously you couldn't dress too "feminine," you had to be "one of the guys." I don't want DD to think there is anything wrong with being a girl or girly.
I think how she views her femininity will come from your example more than how she is dressed as a child. If you show her that femininity doesn’t mean just one narrowly defined thing then she will know she doesn’t have to choose.
married 7.11.09
Me: 31 DH: 36
DD (14) and DS (11) adopted from US Foster care December 2016 BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
+1 to the new organization on the board. I loved my old BMB a few years back and still talk to a lot of them today. We all left for a FB group. I’m having a hard time(but trying) to jump into this board. Also the app sucks now. It’s impossible to navigate.
I don't mind if people who are apart of this community create a thread. It bugs me when random drive-bys create threads and then never come back/thank anyone for the advice.
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I have so many unpopular opinions I don’t even know where to begin. How about something non-parenting related? I am a huge Michael Jackson fan.
That shouldn't be unpopular. He is the king of pop after all.
I’ve had more than a few people mock me for it. A few of the younger CNAs where I have worked (I’m a nurse) told me it was old person music. I told them it’s better than the pop stars their generation is pumping out!
I don't mind if people who are apart of this community create a thread. It bugs me when random drive-bys create threads and then never come back/thank anyone for the advice.
I love girly clothing, but I’m going with mostly gender neutral because then I can reuse everything if I have baby #2. Also, I told my doctor my primary motivation for breastfeeding was that it’s free! #boobjuice
I believe God gave us our gender at birth and our gender should be celebrated as God made us. Along those lines I believe girls should be dressed as girls, and boys as boys. I disagree with “gender neutrality” and “you can pick whatever gender you want.” God didn’t make any mistakes when he made us. God loves us so much.
I agree partially with this statement; I do believe God made our genders and that we don’t get to pick them. I’m not sure I agree with you about girls being dressed as girls and boys dressed as boys. I don’t see why that matters. I think that gender stereotypes can actually be something that leads people to question their gender. I have always been adventurous and fearless. I have 4 brothers and I was the one growing up who got the most dirty and broke the most bones. From about age 4 up until I was close to 7, I told my parents multiple times that I was really a boy. In today’s society, I think many well-meaning parents would have dressed me “like a boy” and let me pick a new name. I am so glad my parents didn’t do that. I am still adventurous, outspoken, and I love the outdoors, repelling down cliffs, and shooting guns (ha, maybe another unpopular opinion; I love my guns!) I do have a confident “take on the world” attitude. But those things do not make me any less of a woman, or any less female. My parents were smart and grounded enough to understand that. I could like “boy stuff” without being a boy.
I love girly clothing, but I’m going with mostly gender neutral because then I can reuse everything if I have baby #2. Also, I told my doctor my primary motivation for breastfeeding was that it’s free! #boobjuice
We bought all the big items gender neutral when I was pregnant with DD. Mostly everything we have is going to be used for this baby. But I love little girl dresses and floral and typical girly stuff so some stuff, like onesies, can be used if this is a boy but some won't. I guess it could technically. But also they get stained and dirty so some of it just isn't worth saving sometimes.
Responding to another comment made me think of an opinion I have that may be unpopular- I love guns. I go shooting frequently and have a concealed carry permit. My most recent gun was given to me by my husband for our 15th wedding anniversary. It’s a SIG P-938 with rosewood grips and a beautiful purplish iridescent slide.
I believe God gave us our gender at birth and our gender should be celebrated as God made us. Along those lines I believe girls should be dressed as girls, and boys as boys. I disagree with “gender neutrality” and “you can pick whatever gender you want.” God didn’t make any mistakes when he made us. God loves us so much.
I agree partially with this statement; I do believe God made our genders and that we don’t get to pick them. I’m not sure I agree with you about girls being dressed as girls and boys dressed as boys. I don’t see why that matters. I think that gender stereotypes can actually be something that leads people to question their gender. I have always been adventurous and fearless. I have 4 brothers and I was the one growing up who got the most dirty and broke the most bones. From about age 4 up until I was close to 7, I told my parents multiple times that I was really a boy. In today’s society, I think many well-meaning parents would have dressed me “like a boy” and let me pick a new name. I am so glad my parents didn’t do that. I am still adventurous, outspoken, and I love the outdoors, repelling down cliffs, and shooting guns (ha, maybe another unpopular opinion; I love my guns!) I do have a confident “take on the world” attitude. But those things do not make me any less of a woman, or any less female. My parents were smart and grounded enough to understand that. I could like “boy stuff” without being a boy.
Being a “Tom boy” isn’t anywhere remotely the same as being trans.
I don't care if people post random threads as long as they stick around to keep the discussion going. The last few years on the site there has been a HUGE bump in "organized" threads and you must keep everything in it's place. I don't care. I miss the old bump. I miss some of the fun randos created. I think there are obviously basic threads that are a good idea but I'm not going to jump down anyone's throat for posting a new thread that could have gone in a specified existing thread if it really doesn't do any harm. Insensitive threads are obviously different but if someone is really concerned about something or fired up and needs to vent I don't care.
+1
this is why I jumped in on that random “hello” thread yesterday. She just seems like a nice person looking for friends and i wanted to be nice to her before someone had a chance to be snarky.
I love girly clothing, but I’m going with mostly gender neutral because then I can reuse everything if I have baby #2. Also, I told my doctor my primary motivation for breastfeeding was that it’s free! #boobjuice
Yeah It's really not that free. But it's cool. You'll learn. And I would say it's cheaper than formula.
I love girly clothing, but I’m going with mostly gender neutral because then I can reuse everything if I have baby #2. Also, I told my doctor my primary motivation for breastfeeding was that it’s free! #boobjuice
Yeah It's really not that free. But it's cool. You'll learn. And I would say it's cheaper than formula.
Wait I’m not sure what you mean? I mean other than pump parts and bags, I’d consider it free.
I go back and forth on how girly to dress DD. I rarely put her in dresses because they tend to interfere with her climbing and I get tired of trying to get mud out of pastels, but I don't want her to feel like she has to choose between dressing "girly," or liking traditionally girl things if that's what she wants and things like being active or getting dirty. When I was in grad school (I have a PhD in chemistry) in order to be taken seriously you couldn't dress too "feminine," you had to be "one of the guys." I don't want DD to think there is anything wrong with being a girl or girly.
That's a very good point. I hope to find that line of making sure I'm not forcing girly (or UNgirly more likely) clothing down her throat while making it clear that being feminine is totally cool too. Should I have a girl- probably similar issues for a boy too.
I grew up kinda anti-pink anti-femme (for some reason- my parents didn't ever express these sentiments) and ended up in a male-dominated field as well (STEM), and have only recently been more accepting of my girly side. We learn as we grow up!
I love girly clothing, but I’m going with mostly gender neutral because then I can reuse everything if I have baby #2. Also, I told my doctor my primary motivation for breastfeeding was that it’s free! #boobjuice
The 'it's free!' thing totally reminds me of a bit from Alli Wong in her recent special. She's like, 'if you shat out juicy cheeseburgers every day would you still be grocery shopping? I don't think so!"
PS I highly recommend that special for all you ladies! Hard Knock Wife on Netflix. She's not everyone's cup of tea though. I loved it and it terrified me as a recently preggo person. It's like 95% pregnancy + new mom stuff.
I love girly clothing, but I’m going with mostly gender neutral because then I can reuse everything if I have baby #2. Also, I told my doctor my primary motivation for breastfeeding was that it’s free! #boobjuice
Yeah It's really not that free. But it's cool. You'll learn. And I would say it's cheaper than formula.
Wait I’m not sure what you mean? I mean other than pump parts and bags, I’d consider it free.
Well for me I had to take supplements to keep up supply. I had to buy nursing pads. I had to buy those parts and bags for pumping. I had to buy nursing bras and tanks.
I believe God gave us our gender at birth and our gender should be celebrated as God made us. Along those lines I believe girls should be dressed as girls, and boys as boys. I disagree with “gender neutrality” and “you can pick whatever gender you want.” God didn’t make any mistakes when he made us. God loves us so much.
I agree partially with this statement; I do believe God made our genders and that we don’t get to pick them. I’m not sure I agree with you about girls being dressed as girls and boys dressed as boys. I don’t see why that matters. I think that gender stereotypes can actually be something that leads people to question their gender. I have always been adventurous and fearless. I have 4 brothers and I was the one growing up who got the most dirty and broke the most bones. From about age 4 up until I was close to 7, I told my parents multiple times that I was really a boy. In today’s society, I think many well-meaning parents would have dressed me “like a boy” and let me pick a new name. I am so glad my parents didn’t do that. I am still adventurous, outspoken, and I love the outdoors, repelling down cliffs, and shooting guns (ha, maybe another unpopular opinion; I love my guns!) I do have a confident “take on the world” attitude. But those things do not make me any less of a woman, or any less female. My parents were smart and grounded enough to understand that. I could like “boy stuff” without being a boy.
What I mean about dressing girls as girls and boys as boys comes down to a few things which are more fundamental than legalistic. I believe that God created us male and female. To try and change how God made you means you disagree with God. And who are we to question Him? (If one truly believes He is God, He is all powerful, He is good, He is sovereign...). I believe God made man and woman equal heirs to His kingdom however husband and wife are given specific instructions in Ephesians and elsewhere in the Bible. God has also instructed that men should not act like women and vice versa. This doesn’t mean a girl can’t play with toy cars or that she can’t rock climb or that she can’t be President of the US. Nevertheless, women and men are inherently different from one another and that’s a fabulous thing. I think we should embrace what God made us to be vs. challenge what we are.
Proverbs 31 speaks of the wife of noble character and that woman is a force to be reckoned with! Not some dainty little tulip that’s worried she’ll break a nail.
Btw, I am not your “typical” woman (and by that I mean, I don’t wear pink and dresses every day, I don’t like manis/pedis, and I don’t wear much make-up if any at all). I have my license to carry and I own 3 guns, I enjoy hiking, I have changed my own flat tire before, and I’m pretty outspoken. Nevertheless, I respect my husband, and will not do what I hear so many women doing and that is bash my husband or talk bad about him. That relationship as husband and wife is the most important human relationship we get on planet earth and it should be treated as such.
@KLS123 I know it’s an UO in 2018. Nevertheless, I’m not the writer or editor of the Bible. I just try to follow it’s teachings the best I can.
Serious question, since I’m noticing a trend, how do God and guns go together? Two posts in here so far talking god and then also guns in the same breath. I don’t get it.
I wouldn’t say God and guns were discussed in the same breathe. They were both in the same 2 posts, but in different parts of the posts discussing different things.
I do believe in God. As a hospice nurse I have had too many experiences to doubt his existence.
I also strongly support the US Constitution as being a document that, when respected, protects everyone’s liberties. The second amendment is as important as the first, and as the forth, and the others in the original Bill of Rights, (though I actually prefer the Articles of Confederation, which were proposed before the Bill of Rights. The Founding Fathers settled on the Bill of Rights as a compromise.) Having a well-armed population keeps a government in check. It is naive to think that we do not need measures to keep our government in check, or to think that we have no need to worry that tyrannies of past governments will never happen again.
I'm a Christian, but I also know that while God might have made someone born male or female, doesn't mean they'll personally identify that way as they get older. I also know that even if someone's beliefs differ than me, it's not my place to say anything or judge them for the way they are living their lives. I'll follow my values, and other people will follow theirs.
As for dressing like boys/girls....that's not a hard rule for me at all, and I do have some more neutral/boy clothes for DD...but I generally like putting her in super cute girl clothes. Not so that people KNOW she's a girl, but because I think they're cute.
My UO: I hate when people say "you do you" .....but in light of today's themes, you do you
I'm pretty sure I will never engage in politics or religion on here. I'm a libertarian Mormon who is considered FAR left in this state which is funny because I'm more about let people be themselves. Like you do you as long as it's not hurting anyone. So this gif applies for sure on this board for me.
I'm a Christian, but I also know that while God might have made someone born male or female, doesn't mean they'll personally identify that way as they get older. I also know that even if someone's beliefs differ than me, it's not my place to say anything or judge them for the way they are living their lives. I'll follow my values, and other people will follow theirs.
As for dressing like boys/girls....that's not a hard rule for me at all, and I do have some more neutral/boy clothes for DD...but I generally like putting her in super cute girl clothes. Not so that people KNOW she's a girl, but because I think they're cute.
My UO: I hate when people say "you do you" .....but in light of today's themes, you do you
eta: typo
Haha. But really, Libertarian here and that's essentially libertarian values to a T. I am not going to judge or tell you that you can't do something because of someone elses values. Like no. That's not how free will works. What works for someone and gives them happiness is not the same thing that will make you happy. So yeah they can do what they feel is best for themselves and that's what you do you means.
Re: UO (Unpopular Opinion) 5/31/18
DH and I came up with the response" actually she's a girl, but I know it's hard to tell when all you see is a head" . Dress your child however you want to.
I dress DD based on what I find cute and it’s honestly a little bit of everything.
Also, Hawaiian pizza is good but I’m so basic and my usual go to is just good old slice of cheese pizza. If I feel fancy though, I may grab a slice of supreme.
My UO: I sometimes put Sriracha sauce on my cheese pizza. It adds a bit of a kick. Yum.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
@featherchicki wow that is an unpopular opinion in 2018
@galactickates is it not kosher to refer to babies as "it"? my bad...
Let's see, my UO is that I very much hate going to the beach
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
I agree partially with this statement; I do believe God made our genders and that we don’t get to pick them. I’m not sure I agree with you about girls being dressed as girls and boys dressed as boys. I don’t see why that matters. I think that gender stereotypes can actually be something that leads people to question their gender. I have always been adventurous and fearless. I have 4 brothers and I was the one growing up who got the most dirty and broke the most bones. From about age 4 up until I was close to 7, I told my parents multiple times that I was really a boy. In today’s society, I think many well-meaning parents would have dressed me “like a boy” and let me pick a new name. I am so glad my parents didn’t do that. I am still adventurous, outspoken, and I love the outdoors, repelling down cliffs, and shooting guns (ha, maybe another unpopular opinion; I love my guns!) I do have a confident “take on the world” attitude. But those things do not make me any less of a woman, or any less female. My parents were smart and grounded enough to understand that. I could like “boy stuff” without being a boy.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
If you want me to call your child an "it" then by all means I will. IDGAF.
I'll remember that when you give birth. "Congrats on your it!!!!"
this is why I jumped in on that random “hello” thread yesterday. She just seems like a nice person looking for friends and i wanted to be nice to her before someone had a chance to be snarky.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I grew up kinda anti-pink anti-femme (for some reason- my parents didn't ever express these sentiments) and ended up in a male-dominated field as well (STEM), and have only recently been more accepting of my girly side. We learn as we grow up!
So not free. Just less expensive than formula.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Proverbs 31 speaks of the wife of noble character and that woman is a force to be reckoned with! Not some dainty little tulip that’s worried she’ll break a nail.
Btw, I am not your “typical” woman (and by that I mean, I don’t wear pink and dresses every day, I don’t like manis/pedis, and I don’t wear much make-up if any at all). I have my license to carry and I own 3 guns, I enjoy hiking, I have changed my own flat tire before, and I’m pretty outspoken. Nevertheless, I respect my husband, and will not do what I hear so many women doing and that is bash my husband or talk bad about him. That relationship as husband and wife is the most important human relationship we get on planet earth and it should be treated as such.
@KLS123 I know it’s an UO in 2018. Nevertheless, I’m not the writer or editor of the Bible. I just try to follow it’s teachings the best I can.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
sincerely, an atheist who hates guns
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I do believe in God. As a hospice nurse I have had too many experiences to doubt his existence.
I also strongly support the US Constitution as being a document that, when respected, protects everyone’s liberties. The second amendment is as important as the first, and as the forth, and the others in the original Bill of Rights, (though I actually prefer the Articles of Confederation, which were proposed before the Bill of Rights. The Founding Fathers settled on the Bill of Rights as a compromise.) Having a well-armed population keeps a government in check. It is naive to think that we do not need measures to keep our government in check, or to think that we have no need to worry that tyrannies of past governments will never happen again.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
But really, Libertarian here and that's essentially libertarian values to a T. I am not going to judge or tell you that you can't do something because of someone elses values. Like no. That's not how free will works. What works for someone and gives them happiness is not the same thing that will make you happy. So yeah they can do what they feel is best for themselves and that's what you do you means.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more