Questions - Week of 5/6

catlady2015 · May 2018

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/7zusy37fwKjfy/giphy.gif

What are your burning questions this week? Don't be shy!

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

Did anyone else forget they can't take Ibuprofen? I did. I didn't take any but I saw it on my nightstand (because I'm old and have some always on my nightstand) and suddenly remembered. Then I was sad.

That wasn't a real question. I got nothing actually.

emmaaa · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee I almost took it this morning for my headache and then remembered and also remembered that my OB doesn't really want me taking acetaminophen either the first tri. And it's always weird to me that we can't take Ibuprofen while pregnant but can while breastfeeding

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

emmaaa said:

@sparkymcgeee I almost took it this morning for my headache and then remembered and also remembered that my OB doesn't really want me taking acetaminophen either the first tri. And it's always weird to me that we can't take Ibuprofen while pregnant but can while breastfeeding

Nooo! No Tylenol? But the aches and pains.

We need some of our vices. Like I'm not going to give up all caffeine. It's just not going to happen. I chose water this morning so far but I can't just give it all up. We'll see how the day goes.

emmaaa · May 2018

sparkymcgeee said:

emmaaa said:

@sparkymcgeee I almost took it this morning for my headache and then remembered and also remembered that my OB doesn't really want me taking acetaminophen either the first tri. And it's always weird to me that we can't take Ibuprofen while pregnant but can while breastfeeding

Nooo! No Tylenol? But the aches and pains. We need some of our vices. Like I'm not going to give up all caffeine. It's just not going to happen. I chose water this morning so far but I can't just give it all up. We'll see how the day goes.

I vividly remember having to take Tylenol so much in my second tri because I had a headache for about 5 weeks straight and Tylenol was the only thing that helped! I think this headache is just sleep related and is easing off luckily.

And I totally can't and own't give up coffee. I did cut back to only 1 cup a day versus 2 or 3 but I can't cut it completely.

catlady2015 · May 2018

Most docs will OK Tylenol. It (and extra strength Tylenol) are on my doc's list of OK meds. But naproxen (my go-to) and ibuprofen are verboten. I've never heard anything about not taking it during first tri.

Whitmore1027 · May 2018

Tylenol is okay. Ibuprofen, aspirin and advil isn't. Even Tylenol extra strength is okay. But my doctor also said to try and avoid medications during the first trimester unless absolutely needed.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

There could be underlying issues as to why certain people would need to stay away from even Tylenol during first tri.

olivemomma · May 2018

Anyone spilled the beans to someone they haven’t intended to yet?? My neighbor saw me with my big jar and water instead of my usual glass of wine and jokingly asked if I was pregnant. I was so surprised my face totally gave me away!

tosh24 · May 2018

FX I make it far enough to even have this dilemma, but anyone planning on NOT telling family? I'm not on speaking terms with mine right now (due to an awful thing my sister did when I suffered my first loss) so I'm hoping it will be rather easy to keep them out of the loop. Will definitely tell my in-laws because they're awesome.

catlady2015 · May 2018

@tosh24 - I haven't been on speaking terms with my mother for years and she will not be informed. The rest of my immediate family will be told, and they're well aware enough of the issue that those who do speak to her (really just my older sister) won't spill the beans. Fortunately my parents are divorced so it makes this much easier. It means I won't be telling aunts/uncles/cousins on her side of the family, but my sanity is much more important and having to do anything to compromise that will NOT be happening.

zamoraspin · May 2018

@BitterBetty12 That is true that there could be specific reasons for certain people to avoid Tylenol, even though it is one of very few schedule A drugs.

I am actually on baby aspirin daily, specifically because of my RPL and MTHFR mutation, so, that differs from the norm. It's pollen season and my RE said it was ok to keep taking my Benadryl and Claritin so, I definitely am because the alternative is terrible migraines that Tylenol will not touch. Plus, apparently those two OTC's are sometimes used in conjunction with immune protocols for certain IVF patients and I almost wonder if they might be helpful to me for that reason (or at least it's better to have my body quieted down and not flipping out about the pollen).

Whitmore1027 · May 2018

I've told a lot of people...hahaha. I've told my mom and her husband, my neighbor, my boss, my new church group, and two close friends. We still have to tell MH side of the family (which will be on Saturday), and my grandparents at some point soon...I just can't keep it to myself. I am worried I will inadvertently say something on facebook without realizing it. The way my brain has been lately, I wouldn't doubt that would happen.

tosh24 · May 2018

@catlady2015 Yes, your sanity is top priority. That's pretty much the reason I'm not speaking to my family. A non-toxic environment is what's most important for my mental health right now and I make no apologies about it. Problem for me is it's only my mom, dad, and one sister I'm not speaking to but I'm very close with all my extended family on both sides so I'm conflicted because not telling my family would mean I'd have to remove myself from all extended family functions for the rest of the year, which sucks. Ugh, family is so overrated sometimes!

catlady2015 · May 2018

@tosh24 - I hear you. I wound up skipping my grandfather's funeral last year because I just couldn't deal with even the thought of seeing her. It sucks - I still love people on her side of the family, and I definitely miss them, but I just can't interact with them because they will interact with her and it defeats the purpose of what I'm trying to do here. She's not above manipulating anyone for her own purpose. It's an unfortunate casualty, but you do you and what's best for you and baby! If that's removing yourself, so be it. *big hugs* if you ever want to vent, my inbox is open.

Angheat · May 2018

We haven't told a single person and don't intend to until we are in the clear. We will probably tell parents after the first ultrasound and heartbeat is confirmed and the rest of the extended family and friends during the 2nd trimester. I learned the hard way twice, I won't make that mistake again

catlady2015 · May 2018

DH will probably tell his work colleagues after the first ultrasound (provided all is well) just because of when baby is due. Lots of providers like to take off that week between Christmas and New Year's, and I don't want people counting on him being around, if I'm in labor, he will be at the hospital with me. So someone else might have to take off before Christmas this year to help cover. I might spill the beans to a couple friends at that point myself. My trainer already knows, as does my dentist and hairdresser (had to tell them for safety's sake). So I've gotten to tell a couple people, but I meant to. I'm OK with telling friends a little early (like after the first ultrasound). If something happens, they'd be the ones here/able to support us.

We're not telling family until second tri because I don't want to get anyone's hopes up if something does happen and then have to untell them. This is the first grandbaby for my IL's (DH is 40) and they've been waiting such a long time - if something happened with the pregnancy, I couldn't bear to disappoint them. I want to know baby is fairly secure and doing well before I let this news out.

emmaaa · May 2018

I've only told my O16 ladies. DH has told two friends.

Our best friend and his wife have a little girl the same age as DD and are due literally any day with another little girl. We plan to tell them once she is here since they always told us super early too.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

I've told a couple of people in my close support group. People I know will get it or be there for me. I told my boss because of how much I'll be gone during first tri. Betas, appointments, ultrasounds. It's a thing with me. Like I have to leave today for an appointment so I needed to let her know.

Ghostie625 · May 2018

@olivemamaA good friend of my parents' figured it out over the weekend while I was up visiting them. We got together at her house and she noticed I was drinking iced tea instead of cocktails so she waited until we were alone and asked me directly, but I trust her not to spread it around. She's also an L&D nurse so it kind of works out cause now I have someone besides my OB if I have any questions and my mom has someone besides my dad and sisters she can talk to about it since I'm not telling extended family yet.

ETA: Posted in another thread but asking here too:
Anyone else have or planning to have their parents or in-laws come stay with them after the birth? If so, when and how long?
My parents have offered to come stay with us and help out for a few weeks and I'm definitely planning to take them up on it. I'm just not sure if I want them to come stay right away, or if I want some time with just me, DH, and the baby. DH has 4 weeks paternity leave and he can split it up as long as he takes it within 6 months of the birth and my parents are both retired, so we're fortunate to have a lot of flexibility.

olivemomma · May 2018

Anyone else’s OB basically refuse to do an ultrasound before week 8? *TW* I had a MMC which was discovered at my 8.5 week US last time (baby measured around 6 weeks). I asked if I could come in a little earlier this time to reassure myself. They said I was more than welcome to come in for an apt and blood draws but no matter what wouldn’t do an US before the 8 week mark because they wouldn’t be able to see anything anyways. I know that’s BS and a vaginal US can be informative much earlier than 8 weeks. I decided against coming in early because I feel anything other than seeing the heartbeat just won’t be enough. So frustrating.

rooonilwaazlib · May 2018

@olivemomma No but my father in law flat out asked my wife if I was and she instinctively said no. We were out to dinner with a big family gathering and I was drinking hot tea (because I was freezing!) and he asked her bc I wasn't drinking alcohol. Jeez it's so weird to think of how alcohol is the "norm" for people and how it seems weirder when one doesn't drink. I'm not a huge drinker to begin with!

We tried to be vague with our families about pregnancy, but they all knew we were trying. So it's annoying that they're looking for signs. We got our BFP last week, but since we didn't want to say anything right away, and since we couldn't lie because they all knew, we just said "nothing to report for this month." My wife tends to tell her family every little detail of everything, so she ended up crafting some story about how I'm not pregnant and what our next steps are, which I feel like is bad karma for the baby!

Edited because I forgot to say: this should be news that, even if you suspect, you wait until someone tells you! ARGH!

kaf1788 · May 2018

@olivemomma I went to a get-together at my in-laws' yesterday and my BIL straight up asked me if I was pregnant. (We usually end up sharing a flask of bourbon at these things so he knew the second I turned it down). I'm a terrible liar and he wouldn't drop it when I tried to dance around the question so I ended up just telling him. I think I'm going to tell my side of the family when they come over for Mother's Day this weekend because I honestly can't handle another stressful day of trying to hide it! So much for waiting until the second trimester.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

I told my mom and my BFF. And my 60 closest internet friends

(I’m in two bump groups from back in the day).

So many posts happen that I don’t remember who said they lived on Tylenol in Second tri but that was me with DD! I had a headache everyday for weeks starting around week 14. Only Tylenol + a cup of coffee would knock them out for me. It was brutal.

gorgeousariel · May 2018

Any STMs room sharing baby with older sibling? We have a 2bed house. We might change our rooms up so it gives is a 3rd bed but if not the kids will be in the same room. I'm a little sad I probably won't be designing another nursery.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

gorgeousariel said:

Any STMs room sharing baby with older sibling? We have a 2bed house. We might change our rooms up so it gives is a 3rd bed but if not the kids will be in the same room. I'm a little sad I probably won't be designing another nursery.

For at least the first three months. Most likely forever actually. The weird thing is there is a big break in ages. DD will be just shy of 8 and DS will be 5.5. So it will be strange either way for them to share a room. Our lease is up at this place next March and then we'll move somewhere bigger. We have a three bedroom but I need more space. The baby will probably sleep in our room the first few months anyway.

Whitmore1027 · May 2018

@gorgeousariel If things turn out the way they did with my DS, this baby will be in our room for the first year. Haha. DS bed shared with me until he was 11 months. (we all got sleep that way). Now of course he has his own room and sleeps in a crib. The 3rd room is a play room, and I REALLY don't want to combine the toys into his room for the longest time. So I am thinking our bedroom will be where this baby sleeps for many months. And if this baby is okay sleeping on his/her own (unlike my son was), then we may do a crib in our bedroom.

angiesbump · May 2018

gorgeousariel said:

Any STMs room sharing baby with older sibling? We have a 2bed house. We might change our rooms up so it gives is a 3rd bed but if not the kids will be in the same room. I'm a little sad I probably won't be designing another nursery.

For the first 4-6 months baby will be in our room in a halo bassinet thing so we can easily breastfeed.. then we might move into a larger place or if we sign another year lease they’ll share a room for a little longer.. it’s weird but we MIGHT even consider turning our very large walk in closet into a “nursery” of sorts.

jandd2014 · May 2018

@olivemomma my OB wont do an ultrasound before 8 weeks either. Or do blood work unless something else is going on. TW- with my CP, they took blood because I was getting + and - pregnancy tests at home, and with DD I had spotting the day I missed my period so they took blood again too. I wish they would do something sooner! I dont have an appt until 5/31.

gorgeousariel · May 2018

@sparkymcgeee @Whitmore1027 @angiebecker

Yes I plan for baby to be in our room for the first 6m. DH built a sidecar bassinet for DD, we will have to modify it a little because we got a new ( bigger) bed. It's just after the 6m we will sleep train baby into their crib like DD. I just don't want to distirb her good sleeping.

Angheat · May 2018

Anyone else terrified to have sex?! I'm 5+4 and I so scared to even attempt. *TW* Last pregnancy we had sex, I started bleeding the next morning and lost the baby a few days later *END TW* So many blogs say that sex is not linked to miscarriage, what's your thoughts?

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

Angheat said:

Anyone else terrified to have sex?! I'm 5+4 and I so scared to even attempt. *TW* Last pregnancy we had sex, I started bleeding the next morning and lost the baby a few days later *END TW* So many blogs say that sex is not linked to miscarriage, what's your thoughts?

Not at all scared. Not in the slightest. Just too exhausted right now. MC really isn't linked to sex. I know it can mess with your head and it's an association thing but it was not your fault. You did not cause that miscarriage because you had sex. That was nothing you did.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

@Angheat The same thing happened to me for my first loss. For my pregnancy with DD I couldn't because of the crinone. This time I can't because of the SCH and the crinone. I felt much more comfortable about it in second tri though!

MrsPyrowiz · May 2018

If I could just not tell anyone and show up one day with a baby, that'd be best. Lol My family was less than excited when my first two were 22 months apart, I'm sure 17 months between #2 and #3 will really get them going.

Roomsharing, my 2.5yo and 9.5mo both sleep on our room still. We'll just be adding a baby to share the family room.

rooonilwaazlib · May 2018

@BitterBetty12 omg trying to get any action with crinone is basically torture. YUCKKKK

olivemomma · May 2018

Angheat said:

Anyone else terrified to have sex?! I'm 5+4 and I so scared to even attempt. *TW* Last pregnancy we had sex, I started bleeding the next morning and lost the baby a few days later *END TW* So many blogs say that sex is not linked to miscarriage, what's your thoughts?

I would call your provider just to ease your concerns. Sex does not lead to miscarriage. However, I have read that in rare circumstances an Ob might recommend that you abstain (I believe this is usually later into pregnancy though). But I’m a believer whenever you have a concern run it past your OB - that’s why they are there!

galactickates · May 2018

Sex has been the opposite for me. It's been comforting. I had a lot of pain with my ectopic last go around when we would have sex and so I've been using it as a comparison that it's not an EP again. It's probably one of the few things that calms my anxiety down.

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · May 2018

@olivemomma My doctor doesn't do ultrasounds until 20 weeks....so...long time to wait! They do listen for heartbeat at 10 weeks (and all appointments following that).

skilouise · May 2018

Anyone have advice on how you find a good OB? I'm going to ask my RE for advice, but wanted to start researching on my own as well. Unfortunately, my only friend that lives in my immediate area and has kids had a really bad experience with her OB.

I wish websites with doctor reviews had boxes of features you could check or uncheck, like Yelp. Mine would go something like:

Things I don't need:
- sentimental hand holding
- condescension

Things I do need:
- willing to answer questions
- gives advice based on actual science, not an excessive fear of malpractice suits

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · May 2018

@AshVA There are several moms groups on Facebook for my area and people post all the time asking for recommendations for OBs, Pediatricians, etc.

sweetyjenj · May 2018

@AshVA yes!
the last time I was pregnant (Jan17) I found out the hospital I'll be using has about 7 providers that rotate, so since you never know who you might get for delivery, they recommend seeing them all at different times so you've at least met them. Once I found a few I liked the most I went to those ones much more often than others.

Want a personalized experience?

Questions - Week of 5/6

Re: Questions - Week of 5/6

Choose Another Board

Search Boards