Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL week of 4/30

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

Re: TTCAL week of 4/30

  • Status: One week post d&c. Waiting for my period to come back so we can start trying again soon.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Last week was really rough. I have an amazing group of friends and my sisters are phenomenal at supporting me. I decided on Saturday to just make the most of a really crappy situation. I'm 5 pounds away from my goal weight and I haven't had a drink since Christmas. So I enjoyed wine and margaritas this weekend and started working out again. I'm going to go all in for the next 5-6 weeks until we can try again. I just need to keep things positive so I don't get stuck in a negativity spiral.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? My follow up appointment with my OB is in three weeks. I have a bicornuate uterus and have now had both pregnancies in my left horn result in miscarriages and my healthy pregnancy was in my right horn. I don't know if that's just a coincidence or if there's something happening there to cause that. I'm not sure there's anything to be done about it, but I'm curious.

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why? Probably a giraffe. I'm tall and I like to run. 
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  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 MC. Unexplained RPL.

    Status: WTO. CD 6 I think.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I've had the week from h*ll. I had the second worst period of my life. Went to doctors, got tests done. My cholesterol is still high apparently. I'm afraid I'm going to randomly die of a stroke/heart attack... and my second cousin who was found to have a blood clot in her brain at Easter and was doing better, just died this morning of cardiac arrest. Pretty sure DH wants to be done with even attempting to have babies... so I tried to start reading "Life Without Baby." Ugh. My life is like a total wreck right now. Hoping therapy today brings me some peace!

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why? A duck. All they do is eat, drink water, bathe and splash in water, procreate, and poop everywhere... and they don't even care if they step in poop. 

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    FET #2: September 2024 (failed)

    FET #3: December 2024 (failed)

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • Status: I am 51 days past birth (so I guess kinda CD 51, but not really).  I just finished my last dose of Provera last night.

    How are things going? Tomorrow is my due date.  I know it's going to be hard.

    What is something that you are struggling with this week? See above.

    What is going well for you this week? R/R? Any testing coming up/any recent results?  I am just ready for my period to start so I can get on to the next cycle and feel like I am actually making progress.  This is the one time I actually want my period to come.

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?  An elephant because they are my favorite and are so smart!

    @brookepdavis I am trying to stay positive too and stay away from all the negative thoughts.  It's hard sometimes!  I am glad you enjoyed your drinks!

    @dpjennifer I am sorry :-(  Do they know why the cholesterol is so high?
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

    Status: WTO/CD 6

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I’ve been really struggling with my bitterness this week. I’m having a hard time posting in the dailies and seeing people get KU after 1 or 2 cycles. I’ve also been really sad that I would have been halfway through my pregnancy by now. I spent the weekend crying and feeling sorry for myself, but I’m trying to get it together and find some hope to cling to.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Saline sonogram and endometrial biopsy scheduled for Wednesday that I have been putting off.

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why? Probably a seal. I love the water and would love to spend my days basking under the sun.  

    @brookepdavis I’m so sorry for your loss. Loss is already so unfair, and having to go through it more than once feels like some sort of cruel joke. I’m so glad that you have such a supportive group of friends and family. Having people to talk to when going through such heartache can be so healing. Big hugs to you and once again, I’m just so sorry.
    @dpjennifer OMG girl, I’m so sorry about your week. I just want to cry for you. I’m so so sorry to hear about your cousin. That is just so awful and it’s even worse when you are blindsided by it. I’m sorry your DH wants to give up. You have been working so hard toward losing the weight for the Clomid though! Are you close to the 20 lbs yet? Please, please PM if you ever need to talk/vent. ((Hugs))
    @sparklingdiamond Sending so many hugs your way for tomorrow. I hope you can do something special for yourself. Maybe a massage or wine/bubble bath?

    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @brookepdavis I’m so sorry you had a rough past week, but congrats on being 5lbs shy of your goal weight! That is amazing.
    @dpjennifer Sorry to hear about your cousin. Hang in there. Also, I love you GTKY answer. Ducks really DGAF. 
    @sparklingdiamond I’m on day 4 of Provera and I feel nutty. Did it make you feel weird? And I agree - hoping for my period is an odd experience after 3+ years TTC. I just want to get this show on the road already. I’m sorry about your upcoming due date, please be kind to yourself.

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 early losses, endo dx but otherwise unexplained RPL.

    Status: in limbo waiting for first AF post-D&C

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rant: DH and I had a TTC blowout on Sunday morning. We ended up on the same page (I hope) but it was really eye-opening to realize how much my sadness and anxiety affects him, even if he never shows it. Rave: immediately following the blowout I went to the theatre with Mom & sister to see “Finding Neverland”’and it was wonderful!

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Waiting on pathology from D&C. Have an appointment with a new high risk OBGYN this Thursday to get a second opinion.

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why? A lioness, because I’m a survivor, I’m persistent and I’m fiercely loyal to my chosen people (I even occasionally call them my pride).
  • @eleven_ I have never actually had a massage, but that sounds amazing about now!
  • @cassafrass15 I'm sorry it's affecting you :frowning:  It's been a while since I have taken it, but so far haven't noticed anything weird.  I just feel bloated.
  • CraftyGCraftyG member
    @brookepdavis I’m so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you’ve got a really positive view on what to do and how to best look after yourself which is amazing!

    @dpjennifer Oh my god! I am so sorry but that doesn’t even seem enough to cover it! Oh sweet that is so much to go through and I’m so unbelievably sorry, I think that therapy is exactly what you need right now and a supportive husband. Just my opinion but I don’t think that you should be making big decisions right now about kids with all of this grief and confusion going on, I know easier said than done. If there’s anything that we can do for you we’re all here

    @sparklingdiamond I’m so sorry that this is a difficult day for you, try and take it as easy as you can and if you need a good ol cry you have a good ol cry. Blankets, wine and takeouts are invaluable for times like this

    @eleven_ It’s not a nice feeling at all but I think that feeling bitter/ jealousy/ anger whatever it is is completely valid especially giving all you’ve been through. You feel however you need to feel. I can’t deal with the dailies either, it’s all just a bit too bubbly for me when our particular journeys are anything but bubbly

    @cassafrass15 That’s so good that you two are on the same page now hopefully! I think that it’s amazing as well that your husband showed how he’s been struggling with this, Fi is also one that doesn’t really open up about it and while I don’t want him to be sad I want to know that it’s not just me this is affecting.
  • CraftyGCraftyG member
    number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Loss Jan 16 at 13 weeks, loss Oct 17 at 9 weeks

    Status: TWW CD18

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rant- this is just a crappy week for me, it’s my dads birthday today who passed away and it’s my due date on the 4th so I’m just feeling emotionally drained. Rave- My friend invited me out for a last minute girls day yesterday and I’ve got 3 social things this weekend so if I can pull myself out of my funk then I think that’ll be good to be surrounded by friends as long as I don’t get emotional drunk

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nada

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why? A dog because everyone loves you, you get constant affection and can be left alone to have a nap. Just sounds like the dream really 
  • lin0442lin0442 member
    @dpjennifer I hope you have a nice break for as long as you want and need, and that you get to a better place. Rooting for you too, that you find some happiness and peace. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of this. 
  • @brookepdavis I am sorry for your loss. Did your doctor say anything about how long it takes to get a period? I'm still waiting for mine too. It's weird to want it.
    @dpjennifer Whoa girl. Sorry about your week. Do they know why your cholesterol is high? Don't think the worst, though I am sure it's hard not to right now. Sending hugs.
    @sparklingdiamond I am sorry about the due date reminder. Reminders of any kind suck, and I imagine that is going to be the worst one for me (well anyone probably). Hugs to you! I've never had a massage either--so definitely need to add it to the list of things to do!
    @eleven_  I know what you mean now that I am in this boat. I was extremely lucky and did get ku in February on my first cycle not preventing/not actively ttc. I never thought in a million years it would happen that fast for me and was prepared for it to take a long time. With my anxiety, I just wanted to take it easy and not stress. Then when we lost it a month ago, now watching people get ku and go on to have babies or even treat it like a game hurts a lot. I never didn't understand before really, I guess I just didn't realize the pain that would come from people you don't know getting ku. The dailies are hard for sure girl. *hugs*
    @cassafrass15 My dh and I had a semi-blow up too recently about this. It's hard when you don't think they're experiencing anything, and then you realize that your anxiety or your emotions that you may not have even realized you were showing were affecting him too. Men are so complicated because they don't want to show emotions and process so differently than we do. DH still isn't 100% on board, but he also realizes that I'm almost 31 and we have things we want to do in retirement years with children out of the house, so he knows that time is ticking by. 

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss 4/3/18. Unsure why--passed naturally so no pathology. 

    Status: Waiting for my period...still haven't gotten one. Wanting to be able to pay attention and actively try. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? **TW--other kids mentioned*** Well. I am struggling a lot this week. My dad's 5th birthday in heaven was yesterday, my mom's was April 22, and my brother who has cut me out of his life, his was on April 9. Then, we also lost the baby on 4/3 so April kind of sucks a lot. OH! and Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary is April 23. So there's just a lot of loss in April for me. Then, I work in a school, and it kills me that I see teenagers everyday that are knocked up and don't even want the baby, but then I lost mine. It makes me question my faith, which I feel bad about it, and it makes me bitter. I don't like being bitter. Then, we moved two weeks ago to a new house which is awesome, but requires an hour and a half commute every morning until June 15. So, we leave our house at 5:15am now which is heinous. BUT, I love my house. Like, so much love! My husband got a new job in this new place, but I didn't. And there's nothing open. I have a very specific degree so I'm freaking out a little. He wants me to stay home with my toddler who has the last year before kindergarten so he can do half day preschool. I don't mind doing that, but at the same time I want to contribute because I so desperately want a baby. However, if I don't get a job making what I make now, then I won't be able to afford preschool AND after school care AND newborn care. So, I could stay home with a baby if we were lucky and my toddler after preschool, but then money is an issue he sees with me not working and a newborn. I tried to explain that the costs in the first year are more on the front end than the monthly kind, which we have money for. But, he's a math teacher and he's very very frugal so I don't know. That's his hang up. I just feel like our family is incomplete and I so desperately want a baby and want my son to be a brother. My brother is a real shit show and when my parents died, I am so alone being the oldest person in my family. I don't want that for my son. I really want him to have someone if something happened to me and my dh. Then, I feel guilty because at least I have one child and so many are not that fortunate, but I can't help how I feel. I don't know.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? No.

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why? Probably a wild pony on the outer banks. They've been there forever since a Spanish galleon crashed off the coast of the islands. They live unaltered on the beach in their natural habitat, and have withstood generations of storms and hurricanes. They seem so peaceful and carefree and they are absolutely beautiful.
    Me: 31 I DH: 31
    Met: 9/8/08; Engaged: 9/8/11; Married 6/30/12
    TTC#1: 8/2013; BFP: 9/30/13; born June 2014 (boy)
    TTC#2: 2/2018; BFP: 2/26/18; MC 4/4/18.
    TTC#2: 4/2018; BFP: 5/12/18; EDD: 1/19/19 (boy)
    2 fur babies: Oakley Marley (11.5) & Ava Lynn (2)

    BabyGaga
  • Side note....sorry for that absurdly long post :( I forgot to ask...but does anybody know when you should expect your period after a natural MC? Is it a normal time frame or is it longer...shorter...any insight could be helpful. Thanks guys :)
    Me: 31 I DH: 31
    Met: 9/8/08; Engaged: 9/8/11; Married 6/30/12
    TTC#1: 8/2013; BFP: 9/30/13; born June 2014 (boy)
    TTC#2: 2/2018; BFP: 2/26/18; MC 4/4/18.
    TTC#2: 4/2018; BFP: 5/12/18; EDD: 1/19/19 (boy)
    2 fur babies: Oakley Marley (11.5) & Ava Lynn (2)

    BabyGaga
  • @oaklandava those ponies are just beautiful! We went last summer and it was such an amazing thing to witness. 
  • @dpjennifer I hope you enjoy your break.  Sometimes stepping back is just what you need to do.  I hope it helps you feel better.

    Thanks for the good thoughts ladies.  Today just sucks.  I knew it would be hard, but man it hit me so much harder than I expected.  It started last night with just an overwhelming sense of sadness and carried over into today.  I am working at home because I just can't handle being around people.  I went to the gym this morning and worked out, which was nice.  I also started a blog and wrote out my feelings this morning and it felt good to get it out.
  • Hi all. I’ve been lurking the past few days. I want to start by saying that you are all such a comfort and inspiration to me not only for your strength, but also the amount of compassion and empathy that I’ve seen from you even while dealing with your own personal pain. I usually see people at their worst in my job and it’s wonderful to remember that there are women out there supporting each other. 

    I had a CP last week right around the 5 week mark. I knew it was early and that these things happen, but I really wasn’t prepared for how devastated I would be. My doctor did a TV ultrasound and some blood work and says everything looks fine; it just didn’t stick. 

    We hadnt told anyone yet, so I had to give my closest friends a good news/bad news deal. My BFF basically blew off the loss part and was like, “oh well. I’m just so happy you’re trying.” It made me wish I hadn’t told her at all. 

    If I were an animal, I would definitely be a cat which is funny because I am NOT a cat person. But the pet me and give me attention exactly when and how I want it plus naps? That’s me all the way. 


  • eleven_eleven_ member
    edited May 2018

    @cassafrass15 I feel like what you said about your DH is so true about most men. My DH is really good about not dwelling on emotions that are unpleasant and seems to handle things a lot better than me. Then when we fight, I really see just how stressed he is from seeing how much the loss has devastated me. I’m glad you guys are on the same page now. Sometimes it’s better to just get it all out even if it’s not pleasant at the time. It makes the foundation even stronger.
    @craftyg I’m so sorry about the anniversary of your dad and the due date this month. ((Hugs)) These reminders of loss are just so emotionally draining. I’m glad you have some distractions this week. FX that a BFP will make its way to you this cycle to bring you some happiness this month <3
    @dpjennifer I hope your time away brings you peace, friend. You will be missed around here.
    @oaklandava It does hurt when you see it treated like a game in WTO/TWW, doesn’t it? Thoughtless things that are said can be SO hurtful and it’s sometimes just too much to deal with on a bad day. I’m so sorry that this month has been so hard on you. ((Hugs))

    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • eleven_eleven_ member
    @TJtheGoat I'm so sorry you find yourself in TTCAL, but I'm so glad you decided to post. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. 
    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
    MMC 2/12 and MMC molar pregnancy 8/17

    Status:. WTO/waiting to hear if still benched

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    Still not great.  I feel withdrawn and not myself. Hopefully things will get back to normal soon.  I am also pretty sure I am about to O, so I am probably out this month too.  In other news, I met my weight loss goal, which seems good, but there goes my silver lining.

    testing coming up/any recent results? No

    GTKY: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?  Probably a cat. Cats seem so content.

    @brookepdavis, good luck with your weight loss goal.  Hopefully having a goal, and working out will help you feel better emotionally as well as physically.   I hope you get answers at your appointment, hopefully it has just been a coincidence.
    @dpjennifer, I am sorry for the rough week.  I am also sorry to hear about your cousin . That is awful.  Are you going to have to take medicine or do dietary chabces for tour cholesterol?    Good luck with your break.  I hope it helps your stress.  
    @eleven_ I am sorry for your bitterness.  I get the feeling.  I can not even post most of the time I feel like I have nothing to contribute and get sick of seeing how everyone things their situation is so terrible . ( Some situations are terrible, but I feel like some people complain over ridiculous stuff.) 
     I hope your tests go well!


  • @holly321 Congrats on meeting your weight loss goal! That's a big accomplishment!

    @TJtheGoat I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you had to hear that from a friend. I think people often react really inappropriately to that kind of news if they haven't ever experienced it. Depending on how close you are, you could say something to her about how that comment made you feel. If you don't think it was done intentionally it might be a good opportunity for her to learn so she doesn't make that kind of comment to anyone else.

    @sparklingdiamond I hope you're doing okay. I'm sorry it's a tough week for you. Hang in there mama.

    I agree with a lot of you about the weekly threads. I tried to find my place in the TTGP board when we started TFAS, but I never felt right there. This is the only thread I feel comfortable in here. You ladies support and embrace each other in such a genuine way. I love it.



  • @cassafrass15 Thanks :) It is pretty horrible, but you can do anything for a short period of time right? Thank you for that boost. My brain needed that, as did my heart. <3
    Me: 31 I DH: 31
    Met: 9/8/08; Engaged: 9/8/11; Married 6/30/12
    TTC#1: 8/2013; BFP: 9/30/13; born June 2014 (boy)
    TTC#2: 2/2018; BFP: 2/26/18; MC 4/4/18.
    TTC#2: 4/2018; BFP: 5/12/18; EDD: 1/19/19 (boy)
    2 fur babies: Oakley Marley (11.5) & Ava Lynn (2)

    BabyGaga
  • suzycupcakesuzycupcake member
    edited May 2018
    Gies, my periods have been really painful since mc. I’m two cycles past it. I’ve never had heavy flow or heavy cramps until mc. Is this common? I’ve had the heating pad on for hours now. I can bare it but it sucks. I’m thinking maybe I should be giving my body a break and stop trying this cycle and maybe the next. 

    To the ladies who have joined us here, I’m very sorry. It’s the shitty of shit and I’m glad you are finding comfort here. This truly is a wonderful group of ladies. I never thought I’d post in these threads. It just never occurred to me that I might. When it happened to me, everyone was so supportive and gave the best advice. 
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
  • @suzycupcake, with my first loss, my first 2 periods were heavy and lasted 15 days.
  • I haven't checked in this week because I wasn't feeling it (denial about "AL" part maybe). Still am. Sorry to see so many of us are down lately.

    I'm calling it for this cycle. My temps are still up but spotting started this morning and seems to be increasing. CD 1 apparently. Anyone notice LP get shorter after loss? Did it go back to normal? Normally I'm 13 days but last month was 10. I chalked it up to late O and first real cycle after loss. But this LP is 9 (though I think a bad temp is throwing that and may actually be 10). I know 10 is on the short side of normal but can't help but feel a little concerned. Wondering if I should give it another month to level out or maybe call OB.
  • jrm_14jrm_14 member
    @suzycupcake My loss cycle sucked but wasn’t too bad. The next cycle was excruciating. This one is off to a rough start, too. What I’m saying is- I’m sorry your cycles are sucking post-loss, too. 
  • When I had my m/c at 7 weeks, I can't even remember if my cycle was heavy or not.  My beta levels caused such an issue that I had to have a methotrexate shot :frowning:  I am still waiting for my first cycle post my latest loss.  But I guess it isn't even a real cycle since I took Provera...
  • @suzycupcake I’m sorry that your periods have been so painful. It’s so unfair that you’re having to to deal with emotional and physical pain at the same time. I hope the pain eases soon. 
  • cassafrass15cassafrass15 member
    edited May 2018
    @suzycupcake I’m sorry for the crappy cycles post-MC. Mine have been weird after each MC,
    sometimes for only one cycle and other times the weirdness lasted for more than one post-MC cycle. What I’m trying to say is that it’s normal for it not to be normal for a while, in my experience. Hang in there.

    AFM, sitting in the waiting room waiting for my appointment with my new OBGYN and it’s killing me seeing all of these pregnant women. It particularly kills me seeing the hugely pregnant woman with a toddler smoking in her car as I walked in. Ugh. Life ain’t fair.

    ETA: words are hard right now.
  • @cassafrass15 Ugh I am so sorry!  I am kinda glad my current OBGYN is getting out of the OB side of things so it's unlikely I will see pregnant women when I go there.  We went to a genetics appt after we lost our daughter and it was in an MFM office. Pregnant women EVERYWHERE.  IT was all I could do to hold myself together in there.

    I have been spotting today, but no period yet.  Hurry up already!!
  • @cassafrass15 That sounds horrible! I wish they had separate waiting rooms for happy pregnant people. 

    @sparklingdiamond Come on period! 
  • @cassafrass15 that's aweful. And when you see someone doing something like that while pregnant, there's just so much anger 

    @TJtheGoat I told DH they need private waiting areas for women who have had losses. It's just so painful. 

    @sparklingdiamond hopefully this is the start if it then!
  • @sparklingdiamond What did your genetics appointment entail? Looks like we’re going to need one soon (see below). Did you start AF? I think mine started? Or it’s just weirdly heavy pre-AF spotting...c’mon Provera!

    Well, we got the results from our D&C pathology. Trisomy 22, maternal in origin. RE thinks it’s likely that some chromosomal abnormality or another caused the other MCs, as well. So, looks like I’ll need karyotyping done to see if they can pinpoint a cause, or if it’s just really, really shitty luck. I don’t know whether to be grateful that I didn’t lose a perfectly healthy embryo, or extra sad that it’s my fault. Bleh.
  • eleven_eleven_ member
    Oh no, I'm so sorry @cassafrass15. That's totally understandable that you aren't sure how to feel about it. I'm so glad you guys are getting the karyotyping done. It will be nice for you guys to get some answers. I'm hoping so hard for you that the T22 was just rotten luck. ((Hugs)) 
    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @cassafrass15 This is not your fault. Not your fault. Huge hugs <3 
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
  • @cassafrass15 I want to second that it is in no way your fault. I hope your appointment will give you some peace about it. 
  • edited May 2018
    @cassafrass15 I am so sorry to hear that!  Ours was mosiac trisomy 15 that we were dealing with, but they said based on the amnio, they don't think it's genetic and was just a random occurrence.  Basically, at the appt, we talked about the chance of it happening again.  Even if ours was caused by a genetic issue, the chance of it happening again was still pretty low, so maybe it will be for you too.  Then she went over the different types of testing we could have done on ourselves.  Since ours didn't seem like a genetic issue, we ultimately opted out because we thought it may end up causing more stress overall.  Sometimes too much information is a bad thing.  I already know way more than what I ever wanted to know.

    And yes, I finally started on Sat!
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