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November 2018 Moms
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PGAL Check-in w/o 5/2

wildrainbowwildrainbow member
in November 2018 Moms
This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone-filled craziness that is pregnancy! Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 

4. Any appointment updates?

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 

GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?
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Re: PGAL Check-in w/o 5/2

  • mockingjay1mockingjay1 member
    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 12w3d - past my loss milestones

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Exhausted, some sciatic pain (which I had with DS too)... nausea has been better the last day or two so we'll see if that continues 

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I am feeling pretty good. The doppler is my saving grace for sure

    4. Any appointment updates? Nada. Not until May 23rd

    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I've gotten to spend quite a bit of time with my bestie which is nice. She's 35 weeks pregnant, so I know we probably won't see each other quite as much initially once her DS comes. She's going to have lots of family helping and our kids won't be in the same school anymore after May. We're also going to announce to DH's family tonight (mine already knows) and likely the rest of the world tomorrow! 

    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?     Hearing sweet baby's heart beat, and having DS talk about baby. He told me this morning, "I'm so excited to meet mommy's baby!" <3
    *TW*
    Me:35 DH:35
    Dx: PCOS
    DS1 born 11/2014
    DS2 born 11/2018
    3 previous losses
    Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green

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  • mrsdrezmrsdrez member
    @mockingjay1 Aww melt your heart with that comment. Also, not gonna lie I'm a little bit envious of the doppler right about now! 

    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
    12 weeks today - past milestone 

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
    Still exhausted, still have sore boobs, still puking pretty much everyday but oddly/thankfully enough the nausea throughout the day has kind of decreased (hope I'm not jinxing it!). I've just recently started having a hard time sleeping which is sooo bizarre for me because I am a fantastic sleeper! I'm not uncomfortable at all or anything, I just am not sleeping properly. 

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
    Despite all of the above symptoms I'm still paranoid. It's been 2 weeks since I've seen the babe and I just hate not knowing what's going on in there. 

    4. Any appointment updates?
    I go for N/T testing (ultrasound + bloodwork) on Friday (May 4) and honestly it can't come soon enough!

    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 
    RAVE: The weather was so so beautiful yesterday, it felt like summer, and it just made me feel so fantastic! 
    RANT: My husband is obsessed with looking at houses to buy. I totally do not want to move before the baby comes. We have enough room in our house for one little one and the thought of the stress of looking and listing our house and packing and moving makes me want to blahhhh. Maybe it's just because I'm so tired

    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?
    How excited my husband is! We told his parents over the weekend and the three of them were sitting on the same couch and when he told them they were all three crying. It was adorable (I had just finished vomiting so I did not have any tears to shed lol). 
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  • ginny_203ginny_203 member
    edited May 2018
    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 10w1d - double digits! 

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Pregnancy symptoms on and off, nausea seems to have ramped up these last few days off and on unfortunately. Choking down dinner has been excruciating, as nothing is appetizing. I'm also exhausted.

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I have my good moments and bad. I had a scan on Monday due to some brown discharge and the baby was measuring 2 days behind what I thought it should be measuring, however it was very wiggly and the picture was honestly the worst I've seen, so need to keep reminding myself it was just a bad shot and that everything is fine. The OBGYN, her nurse and the ultrasound tech each told me I had nothing to worry about, that the photo was really bad quality due to the wiggling and the baby had a very strong heartbeat (OBGYN called the ultrasound tech's measurements "stingy") so I'm trying to quiet that voice in the back of my mind and just enjoy. I really wish my doppler worked for me, but I feel like I might have been pressing too hard last weekend trying to get it to work and might have caused the brown discharge I had on Monday, so I've been avoiding it. Might try again this weekend but not press down so hard, might just avoid... 

    4. Any appointment updates? NIPT testing and check-in with OBGYN scheduled for 5/8, I'm going to try to see if she can scan me while I'm there to make me feel better about this week's scan. I sent in the Sneak Peek test this morning but it was an epic fail so I'm 99% sure it's contaminated. I'm on blood thinners and had so much blood dripping down my fingers that it got slick and I accidentally dropped the vial of blood on the floor when I was attempting to shut it. I'm sure some male DNA got in there since I didn't think to clean the floor beforehand. I told my husband that if it comes back as a boy it's still a 50/50 chance (and 100% chance I wasted $80), but if it comes back a girl it's a definite :)

    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): Excited for my best friend and her hubby to visit this weekend!! They live in Philly and we don't get to see them very often, so it's a treat. We've been best friends since the third grade! We're going to the Bronx Botanical Garden and having dinner on Arthur Ave, for those who are familiar with the NYC/the boroughs.

    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?     Others reactions! We told both of our parents recently and I can't wait to tell my best friend this weekend!! 
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  • wildrainbowwildrainbow member
    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
    12w3d. I've passed all my milestones

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
    I'm feeling pretty good. Boobs are still tender, and I'm exhausted, but the nausea seems to be gone (thank you Jesus!). 

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
    I'm ok. The Doppler helps, which is prolly the only reason I'm ok.

    4. Any appointment updates?
    I have an appt on May 15th

    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 
    I got my labs back for ICP. Everything cameback negative, which is good. However, I'm still itching like a maniac and I know it will sooner rather than later when it comes back.

    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?     I love that everyone is sincerely happy. My best friend cried when I told her. Plus, I love how ds kisses my belly so he can "kiss the baby". H asks me to get the Doppler and we can hear out tadpoles moving against it, while I frantically chase down the hb. Which I'm only allowed to get in increments of 5 seconds before s/he moves again. It's become a fun game. 
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  • preggersabroadpreggersabroad member
    @wildrainbow /others - how do you like the doppler?  I've been considering getting one to help with the anxiety- however I heard it could make things worse if for some reason you dont heart a heartbeat (using it wrong or baby is on it side ect) which cuases extra worry....

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  • wildrainbowwildrainbow member
    @preggersabroad There is a learning curve for sure. When I used it with my only other pregnancy that made it to birth, I watched a lot of tutorials on YouTube. They help you distinguish between placenta, you, and baby. That being said, I've had some scary moments this go round, this baby likes to hide and I haven't been able to always hear the hb. So, I would say, if you are prone to a lot of anxiety, skip it. If you think you can handle it, then get one. I know that is pretty ambiguous as far as recommendation, but it really is only if you think you can handle it. 
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  • ginny_203ginny_203 member
    @preggersabroad I'm so sorry that happened to you this week :( Can I ask, in hindsight were there any indicators before? Was the one twin's heartbeat much lower than the other, or was it measuring much smaller? Hoping for continued strength for you and the baby, and that your hubby continues to pamper the crap out of you! :) 
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  • mockingjay1mockingjay1 member
    edited May 2018
    @preggersabroad- I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope everything from here on out goes well for you. Re the Doppler: with DS there was never a time I couldn’t find him and with this baby so far there was just once when I was super gassy and I tried a couple hours later and found him/her. I watched lots of YouTube with DS to know the different sounds. I agree with PP if it would make your anxiety worse if you couldn’t find the heartbeat maybe skip it. Have your docs used a Doppler yet?
    *TW*
    Me:35 DH:35
    Dx: PCOS
    DS1 born 11/2014
    DS2 born 11/2018
    3 previous losses
    Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green

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  • highsteakshighsteaks member
    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
    11w, past loss milestones.
    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
    the last week was pure misery. last night i sent dh out to get me some seabands because i was desperate. today, i am feeling better.
    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
    i am actually feeling a bit anxious. i have no indications that i ought to be, but it just creeps into my mind because of pgal brain and in light of the board’s recent losses. i’m sorry, it feels stupidly self-centered of me, but i wanted to acknowledge it.
    4. Any appointment updates?
    my next appointment is with the mfm group, in a week. 
    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 
    no significant updates about my cousin (cholestasis). she’s getting another round of tests this week, and consulting a mfm doctor.
    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?
    everyone else’s response is spot on, and also that i can just put myself first for a change and i don’t feel bad about it.
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  • preggersabroadpreggersabroad member
    @ginny_203 We found out at 9 weeks the gestational sac was smaller than they would have liked and there was a SH- so I was on bed rest (which I still havent been taking off of!) and we were monitoring the progress weekly (so we found out quick). 

    @wildrainbow and  @mockingjay1 Thanks so much for the good advice!! I think I'll just increase my visits for an ultrasound just to be safe.
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  • middleschoolmommymiddleschoolmommy member
    edited May 2018
    *I went to edit to add that I forgot to hit post yesterday and then the bump at my whole post! Luckily, I typed it on my work laptop to begin with and it was still up when I came in this morning :D*

    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
    11 + 4, a lot farther than my loss... a long way away from my preterm labor mark.
    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
    The nausea has gotten ridiculous. I'm going to have to ask for zofran.
    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
    I think I'm okay. I wasn't really feeling any anxiety waiting for the NIPT results, but I have an NT scan today and I'm feeling a little anxious. 
    4. Any appointment updates?
    NT scan today!
    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 
    We announced to everyone last Sat. at DS's bday party. FIL and his brother have been staying with us this week (visiting from Montana) and they leave Saturday. I love them, but I'm ready to have my house back. My mom was here the week before DS's party, so I've had house guests for 2 weeks. Also, there's 2 weeks and 1 day left of school, and the kids know it. It's getting harder and harder to keep them focused.
    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?
    Thinking about how my life is about to change. I catch myself day dreaming about holding this baby and sharing her with everyone. I couldn't really grasp how things would change when I was pregnant with DS. This time, I sort of know what I'm in for but I cannot wait to see DS become a big brother! I had a traumatic experience with DS so I'm praying I'll go full term with this little one and get a more "normal" new baby experience. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
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  • susan112118susan112118 member
    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
    11+4, past my loss milestone 

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
    The nausea is much better, but now I have headaches and dizziness.

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
    I'm kind of a mess honestly. Since I was sick at 9 weeks with a fever I'm super paranoid. 
    So paranoid I scheduled an elective ultrasound on Friday to make sure baby is still ok before we annouce to family on Sunday.

    4. Any appointment updates?
    Ultrasound at 6pm Friday 

    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 
    I'm super nervous about telling our parents because I'm afraid something will go wrong and I'll have to tell the whole family. I didn't tell a single family member about my first pregnancy / miscarriage. I'm also worrying about genetic anomalies. My brother's 3 children all have/had anomalies  ( First has severe autism and intellectual disability, second had down syndrome and died of complications at 6 weeks, and 3rd had a yet undiagnosed developmental delay). I worry about bringing a child into the world who is already at a disadvantage.

    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being
    pregnant right now?

    Aside being happy about fact that I am still pregnant, I'll be silly and say the boobs. As a small chested girl I appreciate them.
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  • preggersabroadpreggersabroad member
    @bfpafter4years and @susan112118 - ugh my heart goes out to you both! You're not alone. I'm 11 +1 and broke down (for no reason) this morning thinking something could be wrong. I dont have any symptoms to back it up- just 100% paranoia- I just scheduled an elective ultrasound tomorrow. When does the anxiety go away, I'm exhausted. 
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  • susan112118susan112118 member
    @preggersabroad - I'm hoping after we're out of the first trimester we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Do let us know how your scan goes. For me, I have had anxiety/panic disorder since I was a teenager, so I'll always find something to worry about.
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  • ginny_203ginny_203 member
    Ugh. I've got an appointment today after baby measured a couple of days small last week. I've been trying not to sweat it, but clearly it's bothering me since last night I had a nightmare that I was bleeding and I woke up crying :( Really hoping today's appointment goes well. Still upset over the dream.
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  • tessiesmom26tessiesmom26 member
    @ginny_203 Hope you appointment comes quickly and everything is okay with baby. Thinking of you today!
    Me: 34  DH: 34
    Married 10/28/17
    Our TTC Journey
    TTC #1 February '18
    Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18

    TTC #2 January '21
    BFP June '21
    MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
    Jan '22 - started IF testing
    BFP Jan '22
    MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
    BFP May '22


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  • herewegoagain3rdherewegoagain3rd member
    @ginny_203 I sure everything will be great! I am sitting in the waiting room right now and trying not to stress out myself!!
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  • susan112118susan112118 member
    hang in there ladies. Sending wishes for positive outcomes for all of you today!
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  • preggersabroadpreggersabroad member
    Just got back from the ultrasound and everything is fine! It was so fast and I wasnt able to get a good look, but its the right size and a strong heartbeat. My wife said she saw the baby wave at her haha.  The 2nd twin (who's heart stopped last week) is still there and hasn't shrunk much. The tech kept showing me there wasnt a heartbeat and I had to be like- YEAH I GET IT we went over this last week with a my doctor. My Dr isnt able to say how long it takes before it will disappear. 

    I think I learned I need longer to actually see the baby move so i know its ok- less than 5 seconds isnt enough. Thats going to be my goal for the next ultrasound - I'm not sure if its because I'm in the Philippines, but I think it should be the norm to introduce the parents to their growing bean! Like here are the hands, feet, head ect. 

    @bfpafter4years and @ginny_203 - how did your appointments go?  Sending calming positive thoughts your way! 

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  • herewegoagain3rdherewegoagain3rd member
    @preggersabroad everything went well! The baby actually looked like a baby this time (instead of a gummy bear). I was surprised by the difference. At first he/she didn't move but then there was a ton of wiggling. The doctor spent an extra long time looking at the baby because she knew it was my last visit. So we looked at the baby from different angles, the legs, feet, arms and fingers. She even showed us the cord and how it is pumping the blood. It was all very cool.

    The baby is measuring right on track with a strong heartbeat. So now I go to a regular OB next week. I am a little nervous to not have the weekly scans but so happy to have made it this far!
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  • ginny_203ginny_203 member
    @preggersabroad thanks for checking! Mommy and baby are just fine after our appointment  My OBGYN said the insurance wouldn't pay for another full ultrasound, but she wheeled in a mobile ultrasound machine. The resolution wasn't the greatest, but it was enough for me to see a nice big baby in there with a beautiful heartbeat, she does it for free as a courtesy to her patients to help them to relax. So grateful she did that, and that everything is ok! 

    @bfpafter4years glad to hear your appointment went well too! I miss the weekly scans at the RE office as well. We have our NT scan next week, but beyond that I won't see my OBGYN until the beginning of June! Seems like such a long time after being spoiled.
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  • eahayeseahayes member
    1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
    12 w 4 days, way farther than my 3 prior losses.. we had never seen a heartbeat before and we have with this one so that makes me feel good.
    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
    Really good! super tired, food aversions, etc.. but nothing crazy. Sort of wasted on me, because it just makes me worried all the time.
    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
    I feel like this process has been so long that for once I'm not consumed by thoughts about it, probably because I don't have weekly/daily doctors appointments and nightly shots! I'm still in total disbelief though, which is crazy. My lack of symptoms sort of makes me feel detached, which probably isn't great but with my anxious personality, better than the alternative I suppose.
    4. Any appointment updates?
    Graduated RE and now nothing until my 16 week! Saw babe moving at 6.5 weeks, 8 weeks, 10 weeks, 12 weeks!
    5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 
    Oh just annoyed at having to work and do life right now. The lack of energy is real (speech therapist and no motivation to be energetic with the kids).. and all I want is bagels but gaining so much weight already that I am trying (unsuccessfully) to hold off. Also terrified to work out again for some reason, so that is something I need to get past. 
    GTKY: I know we are all stuck in various stages of first tri miserableness (is that a word?) and PGAL craziness. But, tell me, what's your favorite thing about being pregnant right now?
    I love that as time goes on, I will get closer to meeting this little one! <3 
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