Now that we know we're having a girl the "now you'll be done" comments are rolling in. Ugh. The sex of either of my kids has no bearing on whether or not we are done having more. As of right now I can't say that I want another one or not, time will tell. Gotta work on my facial response.
@nlc8424 those are the worst! We were going to be done after two no matter what and now that we will have a boy and a girl we’ve been getting the same comments. Even more infuriating to me are the “oh now your family will be perfect” genre. My family is “perfect” as is and would be perfect for us no matter the sex of this baby. *we are far from perfect but you get what I mean*
@nlc8424 haha what message will your facial response convey??? I would go with "so talking right now or I might hurt your face"
Today's twatwaffle is our programmer guy. I updated some of our form emails and already got the changes approved by all the bosses. The email to perform the updates was forwarded to the programmer from the guy I thought could make the changes quickly. Programmer guy pumped the brakes hard and then when I told him everyone approved it he threw some email sass back at me saying I essentially need to play a game of telephone through the right chain of people in order for him to even look at it let alone copy/paste the darn language into it's already existing form.
It's about to get real passive aggressive in here.
@spottedginger yup exactly, 2 boys, a boy and a girl, doesn't matter to me at all! We're not any more perfect having one of each sex.
@EErin86 my face typically says it all haha. I have a zillion facial expressions so sometimes it takes real skill trying to scale back my response between my face and my barely filtered mouth. I'd like to aim for "oh sure whatever you say" and just ignore it. And then vent to my H or you ladies haha. Also I hate going through chain of command BS when it comes to work stuff. Screw office politics.
@nlc8424 I have the opposite response. I’m having a second boy and I can’t count he number of times people have made comments about having a third so I can try for a girl. No. Just, no. My TW are the people who work for me that are too damn lazy or incompetent (I can’t decide) to do their job. I spend way to much of their day reminding 2 people to do basic tasks
@nlc8424@spottedginger I cannot overstate the value in simply saying, "What an ignorant thing to say." It puts them on the defensive for a position that they frankly cannot defend! (Variations: "unkind thing to say," "rude thing to say")
This is part of the reason we are Team Green again. Though, I’m sure we will get the same type of comments once LO is here. Unless our financial situation drastically changes (read: win lottery, which is impossible since we don’t play), we will likely be done after 2, no matter what sex LO is.
Ugh why do other people care so much! Honestly I think two of the same is a better duo but I'm totally biased because my sister is pretty cool and easy to relate to, I'm sure if I had a brother I would think brothers are totally the bees knees.
My Dad had the best comment with our 3rd girl when we found out about her: You have another child to have another child, not to have a specific gender. I've used it a few times!
When people ask about it this one... (which we don't know yet). My response is generally: well, it was a surprise so we weren't trying at all so whatever we get..."
Daughter #1 - Feb 2012 Daughter #2 - Oct 2014 Daughter #3 - Nov 2016 Baby #4 - Sept 2018
We've yet to have anyone say that we can stop now because we have the perfect set. I'm thinking it's because I have the inability to control my facial expressions and I'll say "fuck you" without uttering a single word. And most of my family and friends know I'll call that shit out all day.
When someone says your family will be perfect/implies you'll try for another:
"We were actually hoping for a unicorn/dinosaur/puppy/etc."
"Why?" And then continue to say that you don't understand and keep making them say why they think that way.
Just look at them and tell them that they have a very outdated thinking on what makes a "perfect family".
Gotta be Team Green for all these types of comments plus having to explain that save for 5-6 outfits out of everything we have birth thru 12 months, we'd put a girl in all of our sonss clothes.
My TW today-landscapers with the industrial machines that my neighbor uses, who showed up during naptime.
Mad at situation, not anyone in particular, we have nearly a half acre parcel, as does everyone on our side of the street, but they're deep narrow lots, so her yard almost butts up to my terrible sleeperss window. We have white noise and he woke up anyway.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
So DS got a sharpie in the first 30 seconds we walked in the door as I got grilled about what to do with xyz things that weren’t unpacked yet and he sharpied the white kitchen cabinets. Then my mil slung acetone all over our hardwood floors during a failed attempt at cleaning it. DH got understandably upset and left to get cleaning supplies and I spent my evening scrubbing the cabinets with toothpaste. Needless to say I didn’t get to go get my pedicure that was planned since I won’t have another chance before flying out on Friday. And I am sour af right now. #cakefordinner.
Ugh @spottedginger that sucks. Hope the marker came off relatively easily.
My dogs are my second TW of the day. They manage to find the most mud possible in our backyard and come in caked in mud. I didn't even realize we had so much mud until I had muddy paw prints on my leg and then I saw muddy paw prints on my carpet. I have no less than 3 brown towels that were originally tan or white thanks to them.
@nlc8424 oh no! This is our first spring in this house and there has been way less dog mud, I definitely don't miss it! I would keep towels and a spray bottle by the door and spend half my life cleaning dog feet
My son is SO happy to see his dad. Like crazy happy. That part is awesome... Here comes the twatwaffle... He is also sick and unable to go to school which wouldn't be so bad if his dad had days off like we thought he would so they could at least hang out but turns out hubby had to go into the office today and tomorrow AND has a project with a deadline that got moved up so no time off. I thought he was going to have two weeks vacation when he got home. Nope. Deadline. I'm trying to not be bitter but my toddler is losing his mind between being overwhelmed with Daddy being home and with being sick, I'm still completely exhausted, and now there's not going to be the break I thought there would. I'm incredibly grateful that my husband has a good job that allows me to stay home with our child (soon to be children) so I'm trying not to be resentful but I'm really sad and worn out and frustrated right now.
@stothi I'm sorry that sounds rough. I can't imagine how excited your son is to see dad and now can't even spend that much time with him still because of a busy work schedule. Is the work deadline close? Will he take time off after that or will it be delayed for a while?
@stothi that is so hard. I’m so sorry YH doesn’t get any time off and that your son is sick. I hope he feels better and the crazy energy from Dad’s return burns into normalcy very soon.
AFM: at 9:30 pm, I discovered that MIL had used one of the sponges used on the cabinets to wipe down all of the countertops in the entire kitchen after dinner. Visible sponge swirls everywhere. I asked her if she remembered which sponge she used or if it maybe smelled like the acetone one and she stared at me blankly. Cue 1.5 hours of me washing and re-washing, then rinsing and polishing the counters. I genuinely think and hope that she used the sponge I’d used for toothpaste scrubbing and put a thick layer down as she wiped, which is what looked so awful when it dried. However, in the meantime, she went to her room, and DH and I had a lot of tension and words. I only slept 3.5 hours last night and am still beside myself about the cabinets and the floor. Shit happens, but I can’t even wrap my head around how yesterday went wrong and kept going.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
@stothi and @spottedginger Man, that just sucks all the way around. I'm sorry this week has been rough!
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
ETA: +1 to TW comments about "one of each is perfect"! Any combination is perfect!
This whole week is my TW. Work has been super busy, and I'm on the board for an association and our conference is coming up soon...I literally had dreams last night about all the things I still need to do for it to come together. Yesterday, it took me two hours to get DD to school and get to work because of a road closure, then I had to work late. We are being "relocated" from our office for six weeks due to HVAC work, and I have to pack my whole office up in the next two days so my stuff can be moved. MH made a comment this morning about me being grumpy this week. Umm hell yes I am grumpy, I'm stressed out, hormonal and not sleeping well. Don't mess with me. *vent over* We are leaving for vacation on Saturday so I am just trying to focus on that and get through this week!
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
Additional rant: my coworker just threw away the last donut from our meeting yesterday. Wtf dude! I was looking forward to eating it as a mid-morning snack.
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
@southernlady07 what!?!??!? Why on Earth would you ever throw away a donut??? If you don't want it the common courtesy would be to set it in the break room or somewhere until it disappears... It will always disappear even if it's just 1/2 at a time
@nlc8424 I honestly don't remember when he said the deadline was. I kinda blanked out for a bit there when he was talking cause I was so pissed and frustrated. Just kept thinking, "you have got to be f@#$ing kidding me!!!! So now I get even less help than when you were gone!? Are you f@#$ing kidding me!?" And I'm so mad that he didn't tell me until I after I said something about him doing something with me and he snapped at me, "no, I have to work." Well f you dude, you didn't tell me that! (Which, btw is almost exactly what I said to him.) He told me, "well I only just found out last week." Well, then you should have told me... Wait for it... It's a shocker... LAST WEEK!!! Here I'll help you, I texted you "I'm so tired. I think your toddler is trying to kill me. He woke up 4 times last night. When you get home, I'm sleeping for a week and you are on night duty. I seriously feel like I'm going to die if I don't get some sleep and a break." Ok, so here's where instead of replying with a sad face emoticon and a thumbs up emoticon you write actual words that say something like this, "I'm so sorry. I wish things were going better. I'm going to do my best to help you get some sleep but I just found out the deadline for the xyz project for moved up so I won't be able to take a vacation when I get home like we planned. I'm going to have to go into the office as soon as I get back and I'll be working overtime for a weeks when I get home." See, that lets me know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not close. That it is at least another 2-3 weeks out. Then I'll get sad and frustrated and then I'll adjust my expectations and deal with life like a big girl. Now I have to do all those things PLUS I feel anger and frustration with my husband himself instead of just at his job. I'm seriously just so pissed that he finds it that hard to communicate that he can't send a 2 sentence text to update me to changes in the schedule. Makes me feel like I'm not important enough to deserve basic information. As to if he can take a vacation after that, I don't know. >> Insert big old sad defeated shrug and sigh here.<< I want to say of course he can but right about now I feel like something else will come up and I'll just be over here still doing all the things by myself waiting for it to be my turn. (Can you tell I'm losing the battle to not be bitter?)
@stothi ugh, men suck sometimes. I'm sorry the transition to him being back isn't going as well as hoped. Managing expectations is half the battle sometimes, I hope this passes quickly for your sanity. Big hugs ♥️.
NEW TWATWAFFLE!!! our central office told me that I can't process certain customer requests, so I have a time sensitive one that I directed the customer to mail to our central office for processing..... CENTRAL OFFICE FORWARDED IT TO ME WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING!!!!! and I actually needed them to create a job number. But seriously... Which is it make up your minds!!!!
I'm grumpy AF. It's hot, which is great, but my feet are swollen and I have blisters. On top of it, my TW nomination goes to my coworker who asked if I'm sure I'm not having twins. I like her usually so I couldn't be rude to her, but come on! I look like I'm 22w, which is how far along I am. She said "get ready for people to ask you that!" No. Fuck you.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Dog ate his donut collar (same idea as cone of shame but more comfy for all parties) and then his bandage and splint while we were at work today.
So tomorrow I have to take him to vet first thing. Which leads to cranky toddler who will be eating breakfast in car, cranky me who likely won't get breakfast, before I literally drop them both at home and haul ass to work-I can't be late because I open up the bar, I'd have so miss the full day. Due to them cracking down on policies, I won't get to eat lunch until 2, and even snacking before is hard as I have to do it in the kitchen, where I'm not allowed to hide while I have customers.
So, I'll chow an apple and a cliff bar in the car at some point, and that's mostly it until 2 so. Thanks Spock (dog). At least he's healing?
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@spottedginger NOOOOOOO! I’m so sorry. Can you just get a two pack of new sponges and put them into Ziploc bags labeled? And unzipped? That just sucks.
@stothi I’m so sorry that you didn’t get the creek from your husband being home that you expected. That’s just the pits.
@stothi I’m so sorry, after solo parenting for soooo long you absolutely deserve a break! I’m sorry that you’re not getting one and that your H didn’t warn you.
My TW is my H. He was being rude AF on Monday so I called him out on it and he takes absolutely no responsibility and blames me for everything. When he is mad at me he basically gives me the silent treatment for days until one of us says “do you want to talk?” He then said something so mean that I picked up DD and went and got her PJ’s and was looking for my car keys to drive us to my parents house but he begged me to stay. Then he said we could talk more but I said I needed space so I went in the bedroom, so he and DD followed me in there. So then I went out to my car to cry. I came back in, read DD some stories and we put her to bed. I’m breaking out in tears every 5ish minutes and he keeps saying we can talk more but I am honestly so mad and sad right now and there is nothing left to say. I am supposed to be catching up on work right now but I can’t concentrate, am worried about what the stress is doing to the baby, and can barely breathe. I just want to make everything better but don’t know how that is going to happen (tonight). Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. (Disclaimer: he is not abusive and there is no threat of violence... I know I left this vague. He just grew up with a mother who did everything for him and he got everything he wanted and therefore I think he wants a wife who will say “yes dear” and cater to his every whim... at least that’s how it feels right now. He says I changed after marriage/when our dd was born but doesn’t understand that both of us need to adapt since we have a toddler who can’t speak or do things for herself yet.)
@yosemite2018 unfortunately a lot of guys struggle with no longer being the "baby." I'm not making excuses or saying I accept that BS, but a lot of dudes do have a hard time with no longer being the center of attention and can't cope with their "needs" and wants not being put first. Fortunately, I'm enough of a bitch that my hubby didn't have all that hard of an adjustment to not being put first cause I never really did that. Don't get me wrong, we struggle, but at least not with that.
Afm: back to me being kinda bitchy, I informed my husband earlier about what a flaming douche he was being, not because of his work schedule, but because of his lack of basic communication and courtesy. He apologized and I told him ok/go fuck yourself don't apologize, do better. Like seriously. Do. Better. I'm still super cranky but I feel better that it's out there. He says that he does have to work a lot but it *should* be kinda flexible hours so I should be able to at least sleep in a little or take a nap or something, so at least there's that. It's not a vacation, but I'll take it.
@yosemite2018 I'm sorry you're having a tough time with your DH. Communication is so important, both of you expressing your wants/needs and coming to a compromise for how they will be met is not always straight forward. I hope you were able to calm down a bit, but even if you are still really upset I'm sure baby will be fine. I'm not sure if you have a close girlfriend to talk through all of this with but it can be helpful to get someone else's perspective sometimes during an argument like this. Feel free to vent/lean on us as needed!
@stothi good for you for telling your H to do better. I'm sure when it ultimately comes down to the deadline that however he gets his work done is fine so a break here and there is not going to kill him. Hope your DS is starting to feel better.
Re: TW Tuesday 5/1
Today's twatwaffle is our programmer guy. I updated some of our form emails and already got the changes approved by all the bosses. The email to perform the updates was forwarded to the programmer from the guy I thought could make the changes quickly. Programmer guy pumped the brakes hard and then when I told him everyone approved it he threw some email sass back at me saying I essentially need to play a game of telephone through the right chain of people in order for him to even look at it let alone copy/paste the darn language into it's already existing form.
It's about to get real passive aggressive in here.
@EErin86 my face typically says it all haha. I have a zillion facial expressions so sometimes it takes real skill trying to scale back my response between my face and my barely filtered mouth. I'd like to aim for "oh sure whatever you say" and just ignore it. And then vent to my H or you ladies haha. Also I hate going through chain of command BS when it comes to work stuff. Screw office politics.
My TW are the people who work for me that are too damn lazy or incompetent (I can’t decide) to do their job. I spend way to much of their day reminding 2 people to do basic tasks
This is part of the reason we are Team Green again. Though, I’m sure we will get the same type of comments once LO is here. Unless our financial situation drastically changes (read: win lottery, which is impossible since we don’t play), we will likely be done after 2, no matter what sex LO is.
@adirat I like the way you think
When people ask about it this one... (which we don't know yet). My response is generally: well, it was a surprise so we weren't trying at all so whatever we get..."
Daughter #2 - Oct 2014
Daughter #3 - Nov 2016
Baby #4 - Sept 2018
When someone says your family will be perfect/implies you'll try for another:
"We were actually hoping for a unicorn/dinosaur/puppy/etc."
"Why?" And then continue to say that you don't understand and keep making them say why they think that way.
Just look at them and tell them that they have a very outdated thinking on what makes a "perfect family".
Or:
My TW today-landscapers with the industrial machines that my neighbor uses, who showed up during naptime.
Mad at situation, not anyone in particular, we have nearly a half acre parcel, as does everyone on our side of the street, but they're deep narrow lots, so her yard almost butts up to my terrible sleeperss window. We have white noise and he woke up anyway.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@knitknitread I like the "we were hoping for a puppy"
My dogs are my second TW of the day. They manage to find the most mud possible in our backyard and come in caked in mud. I didn't even realize we had so much mud until I had muddy paw prints on my leg and then I saw muddy paw prints on my carpet. I have no less than 3 brown towels that were originally tan or white thanks to them.
AFM: at 9:30 pm, I discovered that MIL had used one of the sponges used on the cabinets to wipe down all of the countertops in the entire kitchen after dinner. Visible sponge swirls everywhere. I asked her if she remembered which sponge she used or if it maybe smelled like the acetone one and she stared at me blankly. Cue 1.5 hours of me washing and re-washing, then rinsing and polishing the counters. I genuinely think and hope that she used the sponge I’d used for toothpaste scrubbing and put a thick layer down as she wiped, which is what looked so awful when it dried. However, in the meantime, she went to her room, and DH and I had a lot of tension and words. I only slept 3.5 hours last night and am still beside myself about the cabinets and the floor. Shit happens, but I can’t even wrap my head around how yesterday went wrong and kept going.
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
ETA: +1 to TW comments about "one of each is perfect"! Any combination is perfect!
This whole week is my TW. Work has been super busy, and I'm on the board for an association and our conference is coming up soon...I literally had dreams last night about all the things I still need to do for it to come together. Yesterday, it took me two hours to get DD to school and get to work because of a road closure, then I had to work late. We are being "relocated" from our office for six weeks due to HVAC work, and I have to pack my whole office up in the next two days so my stuff can be moved. MH made a comment this morning about me being grumpy this week. Umm hell yes I am grumpy, I'm stressed out, hormonal and not sleeping well. Don't mess with me. *vent over* We are leaving for vacation on Saturday so I am just trying to focus on that and get through this week!
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
As to if he can take a vacation after that, I don't know. >> Insert big old sad defeated shrug and sigh here.<< I want to say of course he can but right about now I feel like something else will come up and I'll just be over here still doing all the things by myself waiting for it to be my turn. (Can you tell I'm losing the battle to not be bitter?)
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
So tomorrow I have to take him to vet first thing. Which leads to cranky toddler who will be eating breakfast in car, cranky me who likely won't get breakfast, before I literally drop them both at home and haul ass to work-I can't be late because I open up the bar, I'd have so miss the full day. Due to them cracking down on policies, I won't get to eat lunch until 2, and even snacking before is hard as I have to do it in the kitchen, where I'm not allowed to hide while I have customers.
So, I'll chow an apple and a cliff bar in the car at some point, and that's mostly it until 2 so. Thanks Spock (dog). At least he's healing?
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
My TW is my H. He was being rude AF on Monday so I called him out on it and he takes absolutely no responsibility and blames me for everything. When he is mad at me he basically gives me the silent treatment for days until one of us says “do you want to talk?” He then said something so mean that I picked up DD and went and got her PJ’s and was looking for my car keys to drive us to my parents house but he begged me to stay. Then he said we could talk more but I said I needed space so I went in the bedroom, so he and DD followed me in there. So then I went out to my car to cry. I came back in, read DD some stories and we put her to bed. I’m breaking out in tears every 5ish minutes and he keeps saying we can talk more but I am honestly so mad and sad right now and there is nothing left to say. I am supposed to be catching up on work right now but I can’t concentrate, am worried about what the stress is doing to the baby, and can barely breathe. I just want to make everything better but don’t know how that is going to happen (tonight). Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. (Disclaimer: he is not abusive and there is no threat of violence... I know I left this vague. He just grew up with a mother who did everything for him and he got everything he wanted and therefore I think he wants a wife who will say “yes dear” and cater to his every whim... at least that’s how it feels right now. He says I changed after marriage/when our dd was born but doesn’t understand that both of us need to adapt since we have a toddler who can’t speak or do things for herself yet.)
Fortunately, I'm enough of a bitch that my hubby didn't have all that hard of an adjustment to not being put first cause I never really did that. Don't get me wrong, we struggle, but at least not with that.
Afm: back to me being kinda bitchy, I informed my husband earlier about what a flaming douche he was being, not because of his work schedule, but because of his lack of basic communication and courtesy. He apologized and I told him ok/go fuck yourself don't apologize, do better. Like seriously. Do. Better.
I'm still super cranky but I feel better that it's out there.
He says that he does have to work a lot but it *should* be kinda flexible hours so I should be able to at least sleep in a little or take a nap or something, so at least there's that. It's not a vacation, but I'll take it.
@stothi good for you for telling your H to do better. I'm sure when it ultimately comes down to the deadline that however he gets his work done is fine so a break here and there is not going to kill him. Hope your DS is starting to feel better.