TTC after m/c

sholmes17 · April 2018

Hi ladies, I'm new to this kind of thing so here goes. I had a m/c at the end of Feb. Had to have a d&c at the beginning of March, on my 21st birthday.

It was our first and my husband and I are devastated. I'm trying to stay positive but having a hard time. We started ttc again last month with no luck thus far and it's really been getting me down. I hope we have our healthy baby soon

Any positive thoughts/success stories to help me through this ttc process? Trying not to hype myself up for next month in case I get another BFN. Thanks in advance for all your support. Knowing I'm not alone and that there is hope for me really helps! I pray every day that we get our rainbow soon!

etnyah · April 2018

Hi! I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine going through a d&c on your birthday. It's definitely hard to see a BFN, but it's completely normal and incredibly common to not be successful immediately. A healthy couple can take up to a year to get pregnant, so try not to beat yourself up over it! Having one mc doesn't decrease your chances of a future healthy pregnancy, and you're so young, so the odds are in your favor!

If you want to read success stories, you should go lurk in the Pregnant after a Loss section as this part of the board is for people who aren't yet pregnant. Hopefully you can share your own success story soon too.

char245 · April 2018

Welcome and I’m so sorry for your loss! I hope your stay here is not long but as long as you are here you will find great support from all the wonderful ladies on here going through a lot of
the same things. Trying to be positive is great but trust me I understand that it’s not always easy/possible!

sholmes17 · April 2018

Thank you for your encouragement ladies! Trying to look at this month as a fresh start and a new opportunity

dpjennifer · April 2018

sholmes17 I am not the success story you are looking for. I have been here for over 2 1/2 years, with 4 losses under my belt. However, with that said, the positive is that I've seen a LOT of women come in here after their losses, and most leave 6-9 months later with their rainbow baby. I am not the norm, but the anomaly. But PLEASE have patience! I know it sucks being told how young you are, but you really are young. You're over a decade away from AMA. It's also been ONE cycle since your D&C. Even completely 'normal' and healthy couples with no fertility problems only have like a 20% chance of success each cycle. It can take a 'normal' couple up to a year to conceive!!! Don't let one cycle get you down after your MC. I'm sorry you had to have a D&C on your birthday. That's the pits.

And I know the desperation of wanting to be PG again right after a MC. But, there's really nothing you can do at this point besides diet/exercise to be in the best shape you can be in, take your BBT (read Taking Charge of Your Fertility) and use OPKs, and DTD at the right time of the month. Everything else at this moment is just waiting and trying to stay sane and calm through the process (easier said than done).

sholmes17 · April 2018

@dpjennifer Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! It has been a struggle these past few months but I keep telling myself if will all be worth it once I have our baby in my arms. I am using OPK's this month to be sure that I am ovulating again. Doc wants me to come for another appt mid-July to make sure that my cycles are regular so I want to have some good information for her in case my body needs some extra help getting back on track. I hope that we both have a healthy pregnancy and baby SOON! If I have to keep my chin up, so do you

sholmes17 · April 2018

@dpjennifer Also, some positive vibes for you... one of my professors' and his wife had 7 m/c before they had a healthy baby. 7! And they never gave up trying! You're unbelievably strong for having gone through 4 losses, just remember that there is still so much hope for you! Who knows, you could have your baby this time next year. Crazier things have happened!

dpjennifer · April 2018

sholmes17 It's great you're in high spirits! The thing that got me through my first loss (with D&C) was the thought that MC really is more common than is known, and most of the time that first MC is just a 'fluke' and doesn't mean anything. Most women go on to have a happy, healthy, rainbow baby the next time around. So when I got PG again I was sky high and happy and "I am pregnant today." I feel that was definitely a great approach to take! All this time and MCs later it's harder for me to be so positive. Instead of looking at the % for success, all I see is the % for MC and feel like I need a miracle to have a baby. Sorry I'm a Debbie Downer... but therapy today and hoping that helps me lift my mood some! Thanks for the positive vibes... I'll try to be a little happier for a few minutes. LOL.
If not... well, my son's (Dog's) puppy babies are 2 1/2 weeks old and one of them will be ours in another 6 weeks or so!

sholmes17 · April 2018

@dpjennifer there you go, that is something to be happy about!

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