TTC After a Loss

April TWW

24

Re: April TWW

  • Sorry @Mack2342, I was really hoping this would be your month.

    AFM, 12DPO and BFN this morning.  Spotting started too, so I guess it's on to 2019...and being 41. 

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  • Mack2342 I'm so sorry. :bawling: That's just a world full of suck. I wish there were more they could medically do for you, and that there was more financial support. Not having answers, or a solvable problem, is poop.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • Thanks @bakerstreetboys and @dpjennifer.  We will do one maybe two more IUIs depending on how the medicine works this next time and then we will probably just move on with our lives.  RE gives us like 2% better odds with IVF over IUI and that’s not big enough for me to spend the money.  If it were a better chance than I think we might reconsider.  I will probably consult with him just to have the information.  I stopped taking progesterone last night but temp still high so I’m assuming it will drop tomorrow and AF will be here by the weekend. 

    @bakerstreetboys sorry about the BFN it totally sucks 
  • Mack2342 Well, hopefully the next cycle will be the one you need! I understand about IVF costs. One RE is telling us they've no idea what's wrong and are guessing it's poor egg/embryo quality and so IVF is only way to go to maybe fix that. The other RE tells us they've no idea what's wrong and that if I lose the 20-some pounds I'd have the same percentage MC chance trying naturally as with IVF. It's hard to justify the HUGE expense of IVF without more concrete data!!! REALLY hoping your next IUI works for you... you've waited so long for this and spent so much trying to make it happen!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  •  - lurking -   sorry @Mack2342 - I think it's good to know you did all you could do before moving on.  I feel we have moved on as well although this is technically a break for us.  It's really nice not having life revolving around TTC.  My focus is getting my health back to 100% and then enjoying life because well lets face it clomid sucked balls for me and reeked havoc on my system.  Just this last week am I feeling like I'm really started to be on the mend.  I wish you luck in the next 2 cycles!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @dpjennifer when I first went to RE he told me about IVF and success rates but he said he wouldn’t recommend for us because success rate was not very high and he didn’t think it was worth cost.  He said I would hate for you to spend the money and not take home a baby and you take that money from your son.  That keeps sticking with me.  But after our last MC and it was determined that egg was chromosomally normal and two sperms fertilized it, he said I could make sure only one sperm gets in if we do IVF so now I wonder if it will work but of course the costs keeps popping back up.    I wish it were more concrete. The two opinions you have gotten would constantly play in my head but I think the weight has nothing to do with it.  My sister was morbidly obese and had her first at age 22 and her 2nd at age 38.  On top of that they were both oops pregnancy and that happens so often.  I just think when there are no answers they just reach for a reason. I hope you get try some treatments.  If it egg quality which is my issue the RE says medicine will mature multiple eggs in hopes that one is good and fertilizes.  I just hate that we have been here so long.  It sucks 
  • Mack2342 I would love to try IVF, but I cannot justify the price tag since there is no guarantee (or even close to a guarantee, or even great % that it would work). I also think the weight excuse is total crap... but since I'd wanted to be healthier I am giving it a go. Just super frustrated cause I'm down 8ish pounds (depending on time of month) since late January, but have dropped an inch in my thighs, an inch in my chest, and almost inch and a half in my waist. Just frustrating it takes SO long... It's just super unfair that there are all these oops PGs and people who have multiple children with no issues, but all I've encountered is heartbreak and loss... and I just can't imagine spending all the money for IVF to have failed cycles and more losses. It would destroy me. Ugh... but I really do hope your next IUI cycle DOES work out! We've been here so long... we need a win!!!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • @dpjennifer I’m all for getting healthy just stinks when they stipulate something that is total crap.  Congrats on 8lbs and the inches.  Inches are way more important than lbs in my opinion cuz you are increasing muscle which makes you smaller but weighs more.   Weight loss is no joke.  I’m still carrying around an extra 20 and I lose 5 then put it back when I get depressed about TTC.  One of these days I will get it off.  It would be nice if next IUI works.  I did call RE and nurse is checking into next steps not IVF she said maybe he would change meds or do a double IUI but that I should call with day 1 to get started.   Even if IVF is not for you I hope you can do some sort of meds or IUIs.  I totally understand your thought on IVF as I feel very similar 
  • Haven’t been too active on this thread for a couple days as I’m doing the test-don’t test battle with myself.  I’m 10dpo today and there are some cracks in my willpower.... lol.  Thing is, though, I need to stay on progesterone until Tuesday and test that morning so I’m afraid a BFN today would really make me pissy between now and then as I’m still shoving hormones where the sun doesn’t shine.  We’ll see if my car magnetically pulls me into the drug store parking lot....?
  • @ccvslp Lol, I know that feeling well!  I always tell myself that I won't test...and then test.  When I get to 14DPO and a BFN, I stop shoving hormones where the sun doesn't shine ;)  No sense dealing with that grossness if you don't have to.  Good luck with the magnetic car :)
  • @ccvslp so I use cheap wondfos until 12 DPO and 14 DPO then FRER so I’m not peeing on expensive sticks for days.  I too use progesterone.  I stopped it on day 14 when BFN again up until the. I just hope it changes.  I’ve had that happen where at 11dpo it was neg but 12 it was positive.  I stopped progesterone Wednesday and still waiting for AF.  temp is still above coverline. Yesterday it increased but today it dropped some but no where near coverline.    Stay strong but get it if you can’t.  I can’t lol
  • @ccvslp awesome congrats!!
  • Well I’m out spotting started
  • @ccvslp I am lurking on this thread and wanted to say...

    WOOOHOOO!
  • @ccvslp Congratualtions!  I guess testing was a good idea after all :)  Now the progesterone is totally worth it.  Fingers crossed it all goes well. 
  • @ccvslp lurking on this thread as well, HUGE CONGRATS!!!! 
  • @ccvslp congrats!! FX for you!!!
  • Congrats @ccvslp!! Fingers crossed this is it! 
  • Ahhhhh @ccvslp how exciting congrats!!!
  • lurking....

    ccvslp  congrats! FX for darkening lines and an uneventful 9 months!!!


  • Thank you all!  Fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed!  @justsuzie You made me all warm and fuzzy, thanks so much.  
  • *lurking*

    Congrats @ccvslp!  FX this is your rainbow <3. I hope we’ll see you over on the December board!  
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • TW again.......?




    I took another FRER today... also not FMU (yesterday wasn’t either, both around 11am).  The line took longer to appear and was much fainter at first.  It is still there, but it’s lighter.  What’s weird is that the lines are closer together on yesterday’s darker test.  I took a third immediately afterwards because I’m nuts and it has the same line spacing and darkness as the second one.  I’m wondering if I have a CP happening or what’s going on.  Yesterday’s line was pretty dang there for 10dpo and I let myself get excited.  Kicking myself now for testing early.  So aggravated to be in limbo.  
  • @ccvslp  Ugh that sucks.  Can you get betas done?  I know everyone is different, but when I had my CP, I didn't get a positive until 14DPO, and it was a super squinter even then.  Fx that you can test tomorrow morning with FMU and get a nice dark line.
  • @bakerstreetboys Yeah, it was SO there yesterday that I was really shocked it wasn’t today... a lot of the situations I’ve heard about are similar to what you described.  I’m just going to see what happens tomorrow and Monday and then call.  I’m sure they will do betas.  
  • @ccvslp bc of my history with with CPs my RE wants me to call as soon as I get a positive so I can go in for blood work that day. Not that I think that’s what’s going on with you but they just may want to get you in sooner rather than later. Thinking and sending positive thoughts your way!!! 
  • So I 'normally' run 28 - 31 day cycles. Had some very light spotting on CD26, which I've only ever had with my 3rd mc. So yesterday at CD30 and still no signs of AF I started hoping. But the whole time I've been too scared to actually POA. I leave in the morning for Vegas and if I am pg and then mc in Vegas I'll be a wreck, so I'd rather just not know, even though I'd still know. Stupid games we tell ourselves. I've already planned all the ways I can avoid drinking or pretend I'm drinking. Today it's 11pm on CD31 and surely I must be pg I'm telling myself. Then final pee before bed and ugh, there she is. I guess on the bright side I'm going to vegas in the morning...
  • Sorry for the lighter test @ccvslp. Hopefully you can get a blood test tomorrow and it turns out great.  FX

    Sorry for AF @40momma.  This journey sucks.  I hope you enjoy Vegas! 
  • Thank you, guys.. @Mack2342 I’ll definitely have betas done Monday/Wednesday.  Glad I’m on school break this week to mentally ride this one out!  I’ll be lurking until I figure out what’s up.
  • Ugh, sorry for AF @40momma :( I hope you enjoy your time in Vegas, nonetheless.

    @ccvslp Hoping you are able to get some answers from betas. HPT darkness isn't always a reliable indicator of HCG number, so try to sit tight until you can get some blood work.
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • I officially go here now.

    Fingers crossed for you @ccvslp!
  • Ugh @ccvslp I was super stoked to congratulate you but then continued scrolling and reading. Damn. I really hope it's a fluke and your BFP is legit. We need more BFPs on this board!
  • @ccvslp FX for you.  This also happened to me with my tests.  Different batch, different darkness.  Good luck with betas.
  • I'm going to plop myself over here now. Triggered last night and started progesterone this morning. Embryo transfer scheduled for Saturday. So glad I was ready a bit earlier than expected so that I don't have to take any time off work this cycle. I bet my boss is wondering WTF is going on with me after I've had multiple doctor appointments every week for the last year!
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • Lost my baby boy back in February of this year at 18 weeks we had a forced D&E due to him being diagnosed with a fatal condition.
    I feel like my body is finally back to normal this month I used vitex that my acupuncturist Reccomended and started fertility acupuncture. My first cycle was like 34 days and not really a normal period then it went to 31 days then my first full month of using vitex vitamin supplement I’m back to my normal 28 day cycle! I’m hoping this month does the trick my acupuncturist said she doesnt feel like it will take me very long to gett get pregnant again (she estimates 3 months but I’m skeptical) and I hope she’s right. I’m a very skeptical person but oddly just hearing her say that has put me in a more positive mood about it. We did the deed more often and on better days this month so I’m hoping it sticks. DTD the morning the day before my positive clear blue OPK, the day I got a positive opk, and on the second day of a positive opk which was also the evening I felt ovulation pain, then early the next morning the opk was negative. So I’m really hoping this is our month!!! 
  • @baby1wasbornintoheaven I really wouldn't pin your hopes and a 3 month average that your acupuncturist gave you! I can't even imagine a health professional giving an average like that. Knowing that it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive before doctors even consider testing/IF/etc. that seems to be nothing more than her trying to give you some magical unicorn dream! Now, I'm not saying it won't happen... people sometimes get KU the first or second cycle after MC and have no complications and have their rainbows. But please please PLEASE do not pin your hopes on this! It will only lead to more devastation if you don't end up being one of those select few!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • @dpjennifer you are right, and I m highly skeptical and really would have liked for not be told 3 months is what she was thinking how long it would take. No matter what I feel like I will be disappointed giving a time line like that, as for the odds being in my favor I’m thinking it probably will take me a while. Thanks for the response
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