Flame-Free Friday Confessions | 4/6

PensiveCrayon · April 2018

Confess yoself before you wreck yoself!

CecilB93 · April 2018

Don't have an EDD yet, which won't matter anyways, but I sincerely hope this baby isn't born anywhere between Dec 1-5. My aunts birthday is Dec 3rd and she will just go on and on and on about sharing birthday's or "if only baby had come X day(s) sooner/later". The fact that I'm due in December will cause her to say that stuff, but the later my due date the better lol. She's just that type of person who (whether intentionally or not) always makes everything about her. I love her to death, but she can be a bit much at times.

runrinserepeat · April 2018

@CecilB93 , my first was born on MIL's birthday and every year we get a "Happy birthday to the best birthday present ever!". It's the worst.

Image: https://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s238/petstarr/Bachelor%20Oz/samvom.gif

CecilB93 · April 2018

@runrinserepeat I'm sorry, glad I'm not alone though! I'm sure my MIL would be the same, but her Bday is in July, so no worries there!

gracie4400 · April 2018

I'm going out to dinner tomorrow night with some friends and I'm going to fake-drink. We are going to a BYOB place (at my request) and I already bought a bottle of regular wine with a screw-top cap and a bottle of alcohol-free wine. Before we leave I'll be dumping the regular wine and pouring the fake wine into regular wine bottle. Its such a production but I know the minute I refuse a glass of wine my friends are going to start in with the questions, and I'm not ready to let them know yet. So there's my plan!

mko_ · April 2018

@gracie4400 oh i feel this one! i was at a baseball game with my sister yesterday and had to buy beer, dump it in the bathroom, and then refill the can with water. it's definitely a production, and an expensive one at that! (it also broke my heart a little to dump out that perfectly good, ice cold beer! hahaha.)

mhobbes · April 2018

@gracie4400 I survived a party drinking fake bloody marys (aka tomato juice in fancy cup). At one moment a friend asked to try it, but thanks god she was already drunk and didn’t say anything about the lack of vodka!

CecilB93 · April 2018

@gracie4400 I'm visiting the bar I used to bartend at this weekend! It was planned before my BFP, so I'll have to get a non-alcoholic drink. Not a big deal unless a couple friends join DH and I, then I'll have to sneak it somehow!

maureenmce · April 2018

At a bar my go to fake drink was always club soda and lime. People assume it's a vodka soda. But yeah, tasting it would be a dead giveaway.

**TW loss mentioned**

This is a sad FFFC: I'm actively keeping my pregnancy from a friend who is going through a loss and another friend who's doing IVF. We're in a TTC message chain and when one of them asked how I did this cycle I just changed the subject because I know my friend who is currently miscarrying is having a really tough time. But I feel like it's going to be even harder when I tell her later? And I feel like I'm lying? Because we contribute to this message chain every day and I just have been focusing on asking them questions and offering support, but the longer it goes on it does feel bad and I do feel guilty for lying by omission, but she is literally going through the loss as we speak and I just don't know how to say oh, btw, I'm pregnant, especially when she talks about how jealous she feels of pregnant women right now.

I have no idea if this was the right decision.

morgantu · April 2018

@maureenmce oye, that is such a hard position to be in. I don't think there is a right decision. Nothing feels good for your friend right now, and even though in their logical brain they'll be happy for you, i think you're right to give her a little time to process her own feelings.I'm sure when the time is right you will tell her in the right way because just your thoughts about being sensitive to her now show more care than a lot of people! Like I said, I don't think there is a "right decision", but i definitely don't think it's the wrong decision.

maureenmce · April 2018

I feel like my FFFC was a downer, so I'll share another: even at only 5 weeks I have already gone through the top 1000 baby names list *several times* and may have kind of totally gone off the deep end coming up with a top ten (or 20, or 30) list.

(I am kind of obsessed with names.)

maureenmce · April 2018

@morgantu Thanks so much. **TW loss** It's a MMC so she is still going through it and likely will be for another couple of weeks, so I just want to wait until at least it's not still physically happening to her. I've been in her position and it's SO hard, I just don't want to upset her more in a tough time, but I also am super uncomfortable with lying, even by omission, so it's tough! But you're right, there's no "right" call. Thanks for the support!
end TW***

runrinserepeat · April 2018

@maureenmce I've got a list of 10 boy names and 10 girl names. Every day I send DH a boy and a girl name and get feedback, and adjust accordingly. I can't wait to find out boy/girl so that I can at least cut the list in half.

runrinserepeat · April 2018

As far as your friend goes, that's a tough situation. I think at the end of the day you obviously are trying to spare her any addition hurt, and that's what will come through in the end.

runrinserepeat · April 2018

My FFFC is totally ridiculous. I had a dream that I had twins. So clearly, I'm having twins, right? Hahaha it's going to be a long three weeks before I get my first ultrasound and I can finally turn that part of my addled pregnant brain off.

Activebaby · April 2018

@maureenmce it sounds like a difficult situation you are in. I wouldn’t have wanted to hear about someone else’s pregnancy when I was struggling either. But once the physically painful part it is over I think that’d be a decent time to share. It’s going to hurt no matter when you tell her, but it may give her some joy for you. This won’t get less awkward imo. Good luck with this.

Activebaby · April 2018

My fffc. I haven’t called my OB yet. I actually don’t have one, but have picked one (that I know). I work at a hospital so I’m afraid as soon as I make my appointment everyone will know. I plan to call for an appointment next Friday when I am 6 weeks. I don’t think I should wait much longer than that as the appointment should be at 8-9 weeks. I’m just not ready for the office to know. I know them, so when they see my name and appointment there is no secret there anymore. Then I’m worried the news will get to the hospital soon. I don’t think I’m that important that anyone would care, it’s just im
not ready for everyone to know (in case of loss), and I don’t think that it would be shared intentionally.

runrinserepeat · April 2018

@Activebaby wouldn't that be a huge HIPAA violation for them to spread that news?

texas_t · April 2018

@maureenmce I'd maybe text each of them separately and tell them and give them a moment to feel whatever feelings they have privately instead of reacting in an open forum. Maybe say something like "I wanted you to be one of the first to know that I am pregnant. I know what a hard time you are going through right now, but I felt keeping it from you could be more hurtful."

CecilB93 · April 2018

@maureenmce DH and I have had a list of names for months, mostly because of me. That's how I coped with waiting to TTC!

texas_t · April 2018

Yeup. I have a boy/girl names short list.

texas_t · April 2018

Also, confession, I want another boy.

celette482 · April 2018

I just bought a ton of maternity clothes from target

Activebaby · April 2018

runrinserepeat said:

@Activebaby wouldn't that be a huge HIPAA violation for them to spread that news?

It would be a huge violation. I don’t think it would be intentional. It would just be an appointment that everyone would see in the clinic. My name is uncommon. In reality I’m sure they won’t be phased because it’s what they do everyday. It’s just me being overly worried.

CecilB93 · April 2018

@texas_t We're hoping for a girl this time.

celette482 · April 2018

@Activebaby my mom is a pathologist at the hospital where she had my brother, and EVERYone knew Dr. Celette’s Mom was having her baby (emergency c-section and everything) but this was before HIPAA. I also haven’t called my OB, because I didn’t want to last week and this week is the Masters (aka the whole city shuts down.) I know the OBs stick around for obvious reasons, but no one gets anything voluntarily done this week.

maureenmce · April 2018

I just had a craving for, and ate, a packet of mustard. It was DELICIOUS.

mcondon150 · April 2018

My boss was being a huge jerk today! Not sure if it was something with her or if my hormones have kicked the sensitivity up a notch or two. Probably a bit of both honestly.

westcoastfoodie · April 2018

@maureenmce that’s a really tough situation to be in. I agree with maybe telling them each personally. TTC feelings are so hard, I hope they understand and although they may initially have a tinge if jealousy, I hope they can at some point be excited for you. The fact that you’re so concerned about their feelings speaks to what a compassionate person you are.

Also... I also went through about 1000 names and came up with exactly 3 for each sex that I like. DH likes none of them

westcoastfoodie · April 2018

My fffc: I don’t think I want to tell my sil and brother I’m pregnant until... who knows when. I have no problem telling other people though. Possible TW...
We were TTC for about 8 months (which I know is nothing in the TTC world, but still frustrating) and she knew this. Then she got pregnant by surprise and did this whole cutesy announcement when she told me. It stung. A lot. And then I had a CP and she just kept on sending her ultrasound pics and all that, knowing that I had a CP and was bummed. She’s low key super competitive, I don’t think she even realizes she is, and I just don’t want to tell them out of spite. Having babies isn’t a family competition. It’s an intimate, exciting, scary (especially as a loss mama) roller coaster.

I realize this is petty AF.

maureenmce · April 2018

@westcoastfoodie Thank you.

Also, re: your names, does your husband *hate* them or just dislike them? My husband wasn't that into my daughter's name until almost the end of my pregnancy with her. (I wore him down. Now he loves it and agrees it's perfect for her.)

westcoastfoodie · April 2018

@maureenmce I may be able to wear him down on 2 of the names. Maybe I’ll just start referring to the baby as either name until it grows on him, or he tells me “absolutely not” lol!

texas_t · April 2018

@maureenmce I almost chocked on my dinner reading about your mustard packet lmaaaaaaaaao

GoyaBean913 · April 2018

I'm plus size and already have a belly that I hide somewhat decently but it takes a while for me to start showing. I'm thinking of getting to 3 months and just wearing all empire waist shirts so I can just be fat and comfortable and everyone will just think I'm showing. Hopefully no one will want to touch the belly and blow my cover

littlewhitecottage · April 2018

@westcoastfoodie I don’t think you’re being petty at all. That’s terrible that she acted that way. You are totally justified in your feelings. Unless maybe I’m petty, too? Entirely possible. #teamwestcoastfoodie

mch195 · April 2018

I was in my best friends wedding 6 days after BFP. Drank more seltzer water and cranberry juice than I care to remember! Didn’t even get busted!

My BFP was the first day of our vacation I took for my friends out of town wedding. Came back to work as a bedside nurse surrounded by patients with CMV, continuous chemotherapy and one verbally threatening and swinging at me. I felt like my little sweet pea were under attack today!

mhobbes · April 2018

@westcoastfoodie I’m in a similar (but kinda opposite) situation. My sister-in-law is TTC for a few years, and we’re very close. I know that she will be happy for us but also probably a bit sad (specially since my husband is her little brother, many years younger) so we will wait for the first ultrasound and then tell her in private (no elaborate announcements) and just give her space to process her feelings... I’m sure it will be ok in the end, and I’ll avoid bringing the subject up unless she does. I hate family competition and it breaks my heart to just imagine making her sad. Good luck with your family!

maureenmce · April 2018

@texas_t The only thing keeping me from going back for more is shame, haha.

@westcoastfoodie I don't think you're being petty at all! Some people can be incredibly insensitive, and pregnancy and loss are such emotional things, I think it's best to keep it from her for a while. Hugs.

westcoastfoodie · April 2018

Thank you @maureenmce and @littlewhitecottage I’m not usually one to hold a grudge and I often let things roll off my back, but this was a bit much. I don’t think my husband knew how to react to me when I’d talk about it lol, so I often felt like my feelings weren’t an appropriate reaction. (He wasn’t unsupportive, more of just at a loss for words because nothing would take away the anger)

@mhobbes I think that is a really nice approach to the situation. It’s hard to be on either side of that. I don’t think a lot of people realize what a touchy subject it can be. I hope she reacts well

westcoastfoodie · April 2018

Ok a less serious one... I went to lunch with a friend and I was so full and sleepy afterwards that I was on home autopilot and forgot to go to the market. I told my husband that our son was having a rough day (not completely untrue

) and asked him to pick up dinner so I don’t have to go back out. I just don’t wannaaaaaa.

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