I need advice!!!! — The Bump
May 2018 Moms

I need advice!!!!

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant. I live with my boyfriends mom who smokes excessively. There's also a roach problem. I'm currently sleeping on the floor due to my air mattress popping. The room I am in can barely be enough room for us and a newborn. Not to mention we don't even have anything for him and I'm due next month. Luckily my mom is very supportive in all of this and has done alot for my son. But the list could go on and on as to why I don't want to be in this house trying to raise my son. I want to move to my mom's just until we move into our own place but it feels like it's never going to happen (I forgot to mention my boyfriend is a procrastinator and hasn't done anything he has said he was going to do) and I don't want anyone thinking I'm taking my son away from his father I just want what's best for him and living in these conditions is not what I want for myself nor him. 

Re: I need advice!!!!

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  • Exactly what @kristib1027 said. 
    kpc914
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  • Do y’all not work? What is the reason you’re putting up with that situation? Especially if your mom’s is a safer place? I’m assuming bf’s mom smokes inside? I’ve got so many questions. 
    kpc914lscal20ladystinsonpharmladypdx
  • @suchaglencoco why do we even bother when they need advice SO BAD and then ghost. And then when we are snarky about it we’re the bitches. 
    numa_jawaraladystinson
  • We want to believe in people, we really do, but most likely mud.
    ladystinsoncrossfitbabybump
  • He works, I do not. And yes she smokes inside 
  • And I haven't responded because I don't get an notification saying people commented.... but anyway if I do leave I don't know how to go about it to tell him I want us to live with my mom
  • You can't be afraid to stand up for your child. You are your child's biggest advocate. He can't even communicate yet, your job is to protect him and speak for him. 
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  • ...you’d rather your kid live in a smoke filled house than grow a pair and Mom up? @lscal20 put it nicer than I would. Listen to her.
    desertdweller21suchaglencococrossfitbabybumppharmladypdx
  • I have talked to him about it and it turns out we both agree I should be at my mom's. I feel way better now knowing my son is going to be in a better home. And also idk if I'm just a softy or I'm reading wrong but I came on here for advice from other pregnant women and I feel like some of you are just rude and put things a little differently. I'm a first time mother and I'm new to alot of things so you don't have to bash me and make me feel dumb or for asking something. 
    lmo8
  • It is wrong that people are harping on you. As a first time mom also I understand how hard it may be to stand up to not just your boyfriend but his mother also. Do what's best for you guys and in the end you will feel better and so will your boyfriend! Good luck!
  • It is wrong that people are harping on you. As a first time mom also I understand how hard it may be to stand up to not just your boyfriend but his mother also. Do what's best for you guys and in the end you will feel better and so will your boyfriend! Good luck!

    ****Stuck in box... send help****
    There are plenty of FTM things that are reasonable to ask.  Questions about birth, advice on breastfeeding, questions about baby gear, etc.  These are things that FTMs would not have any experience with and therefore need help on.  I feel like the safety/living situation for your child is not something that is a FTM thing.  If you feel like the situation is dangerous for you and your child, step up and do what is right.  According to her own response, her boyfriend agreed, but she didn't know because she hadn't even talked to him about it.  When it comes to your child, you have to do what is safest and not worry about hurting other people's feelings.

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    desertdweller21
  • Your boyfriend's mom's house is a health hazard for your baby and will increase the risks of SIDS because of the smoking...get out now and save your baby...no room to be selfish here.
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