@laurad75 I'm so sorry you received not great news, it's always scary when they tell us something is wrong and feeling so hopeless (I had a situation with an amniotic band and was a nervous wreck, so I can relate). Hopefully it won't amount to much and it'll just be a blip on the radar at the end of this. My good friend went through the exact same thing - found out at her anatomy scan that her second little boy had MCDK on his right kidney. She had U/S every 4 weeks and then non-stress testing twice weekly starting at 32 weeks. She also had to meet with a pediatric urologist to figure out treatment plan after birth which was basically ultrasounds of his kidney at 7-10 days old and then go from there. Oddly enough, once her son was born, there were absolutely no issues with his kidney and he's a healthy and thriving one year old. Even though it was her second pregnancy and she was able to get pregnant very easily with both of her sons, she was a nervous wreck thinking about all the "what-ifs". If you need anymore information, I can definitely see if I can get some from her for you.
@irisheyes81 hopefully the feet swelling doesn't get too bad! I've heard from almost every woman who has been pregnant that it's bound to happen and it's not fun. Oh the joys of pregnancy!
@safire3 the registries are so overwhelming! The only reason I was motivated to do mine was since I was home visiting family and my sister basically did mine for me since she has a 2 year old. LOL
@businesswife that is awesome about the announcements! Please do share (if your comfortable) once you send them out! Those clothes are adorable!! My sister said most ppl tend to give NB stuff at baby showers so she has told me to buy bigger sizes, especially since they do grow so fast! She also gave us 1-2 premie outfits in case little girl is on the smaller size. Her son was on the small size and they had to run out and get a premie onsie to fit him to go home in.
@travelingcouple and @aera11 I can't believe you two are in the 3rd tri already!! Time has flown! I guess I won't be too far behind you (gulp!) that's a little terrifying to think about! @aera11 I hope the itching is resolved soon! Fingers crossed you will pass the 3-hr test today!!
@2momshoping you are on top of things already having the furniture! I am having the toughest time deciding on furniture. And it seems that everything we like there is an issue with it (first was at babies r us but we're not buying from there now; found one we liked at buybuybaby but of course it's not available online or in the color we want!). That theme sounds adorable!
@sarcasticowl hopefully you have figure out a new sleeping position - sleep is the one thing that it still hit or miss for me.
@adirat welcome!! Hopefully the morning sickness subsides for you soon!
@lablover78 that's awesome about the crib and hand me downs!! I'm glad your OB has your back and congrats on the little boy!
@hottietoddy OMG my DH talks, sings, and rubs my belly constantly, which makes me melt everytime he does it. Every morning, he has to kiss my belly goodbye and when he gets home from work that's' the first thing he does. He even reads to her a few times a week from books we have already bought and I tear up just thinking about. After all we've been through to get here (and me not knowing if I'd actually ever get to carry a child since we were seriously considering surrogacy), these moments are that much sweeter. Just wait until your little one starts to react to your DH's voice....our little one will start to kick and squirm as soon as DH starts talking or singing. She is already daddy's little girl! I love the name William! I'm glad you had a good appt with your OB and gave you permission to stay away from your inlaws. Sometimes it's nice to hear validation from a non-involved party that what you are doing is the right thing!
AFM - 26 weeks today and I feel like I've ballooned! I think I've gained 3-4 pounds in a week, ugh and I'm feeling it. I know weight gain can fluctuate and I've been pretty consistent with it so far, but I think little girl went through a growth spurt or something. Bending over to put shoes and socks on is becoming a struggle and I still have 3.5 months to go! Oh boy, this will be fun! Had a little scare last week with some very minimal spotting but it was mostly brown and my OB wasn't concerned so took it easy most of the week just for peace of mind. DH told me last night that I have 98 days until my due date....we are in the double digits, which is both exciting and terrifying thinking about how much still needs to get done! This next month is going to be a blur as we are both home only one weekend. I'm doing a last girls trip to NYC when I'm 28 weeks, so hopefully I'm still feeling good enough to walk around and enjoy myself and then the last weekend in April is my shower! We are trying to narrow down and decide on baby room furniture but it's just so hard!
I haven't told many coworkers yet that I'm pregnant (all of my supervisors know and some of my coworkers that I'm close to) so it's funny seeing their reactions as I'm getting bigger. I can tell they notice but don't know if they should say anything and for some reason, this brings me a little bit of joy. I should mention that I don't see or talk to the majority of my coworkers too often and a lot of them have huge attitudes and I try to avoid. So maybe I like watching them squirm a little bit - is that bad?
@laurad75 I'm sorry you had to go through that. That said, you have a great sense of humor! I couldn't help but laugh at your 4, maybe 400 vials comment and going back to regular healthy mom-to-be fear comment.
@mtpbadger I get a crack out of your joy as your coworkers who you haven't told see you get bigger.
The posts I'm seeing today just crack me up. With all this stress and anxiety, it's nice to see us laugh at the situation or ourselves. Sigh. Ok, I'm going back to being miserable with a cold when all I want to do is touch baby stuff but don't want to get my germs on them.
@mtpbadger Thank you for sharing that story about your friend. There are a lot of positive stories out there about MCDK so its been helpful to read other anecdotes. That's crazy that the kidney ended up okay. I wonder what they were seeing on the u/s.
@jr102217 I'm trying to keep my sense of humor about this so I don't go crazy.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
@laurad75 that is an ADORABLE and perfect little
ultrasound. Look at that little
nose. He is precious. So many hugs.
Hopefully the placenta moves but if not, no biggie. I’m sure a lot of us will have c sections. Sounds
like you are taking the MCDK in stride and researching. It is unfortunate they have to give you all
the gloom and doom potential risks but there is so much they can do. That amnio
sounds terrible. There is so much
emotional and physical stress and you’re dealing with it so well. He’s so cute and worth knowing ahead of time
to prepare. 4 or 400 viles J I’m sure it felt like
400. You're such a good mom.
@2momshoping thank you for your sweet words about
infertility. It was so nice to feel supported and not like a totally ungrateful
person. I was pretty insane about the toxins thing and eating clean during egg retrieval
because I read that starts with the egg book. I think it was a way to control
my totally out of control life. I sit here at 9 am eating pringles and have
already had eggos waffles (I had yogurt and a banana too since leg cramps just
started for me). I think of how well I
ate when I didn’t have another human growing inside of me and it seems a little
weird. I’d still say I’m on the non-toxin
side since I have roots for days (no highlights for me either). I love that chair!!! I love that it has a
high back and looks easier to get in and out of than the really low ones.
@hottietoddy Your inlaws! Good for you for writing a letter
and taking a break! Some people just can’t see the ways they hurt others. I don’t
think your sister in law understands or wants to understand how she has failed
you. You might not have a future relationship with them and that’s okay. Good
job taking care of you. Sounds like the
baby is doing great!
@aera11 glad the Benadryl is helping the itch. Did you sleep okay? Thanks for your
thoughtful words. I like the idea of living in the happy bubble because it
seems like time is dragging but it’s also moving forward and will be over so
soon.
@jr102217 I bet it was hard to watch your cousin smoking! So
sorry to hear about your cold. Sounds like
the nursery looks amazing though and how fun you have a mix of new and hand me
down. How crazy is it having a baby room
in your house?! That’s awesome about yoga.
Hopefully that will help you get healthy as well. Every time I think the cold and flu season is
over, I see another person with a loose tissue looking miserable.
@lablover78 that is great news about the MaterniT21. Congrats on the little BOY J
@csely321 It’s good to know some of the IF dragon died down
after your first was born. The whining
about kids is super irritating. I want
to be happy for people eventually and let some of the bitterness go.
AFM went to the doctor yesterday and heartbeat was the same,
150. The doctor showed me how high my uterus
was. I was thinking, if I’m 21 weeks now…where
will my stomach go when I’m 40 weeks? I feel like it’s impossible. Of course it isn’t but I already feel big as
a house. Ive gained 20 lbs since my
pregnancy started. I went off metformin which is part of it but still. I’m pretty small to begin with so that might
be part of it but that seemed like a lot.
Me: 36 DH: 33
TTC since June 2016
Me: PCOS DH: Morphology 1%
3 TI with Famera and trigger shots-BFN
3 IUI's with Famera and trigger shots- BFN
IVF August 2017 25 eggs retrieved, 19 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 frozen, 3 PGS normal
FET November 2017 Transferred one 6 day blast (a little GIRL) BFP EDD 8/4/18
@laurad75 Hugs friend. That is such a scary thing to hear. I hope everything resolves itself and he does just fine with one kidney. I hope the wait for the amnio results isn't too bad Thinking of you and your baby boy.
@mtpbadger I know! It's crazy, and you're right behind us that sounds like a fun girls trip! I feel like there was a week when I gained a few pounds so there was a noticeable difference but then it slowed down. I mainly just feel bigger...like getting out of bed takes a good roll haha.
@laurad75. (((Big huge hugs))) you are a rockstar, getting through that amnio. Sorry to get that possibly scary news - fx for the best possible scenario, that everything just reasolves beautifully ❤
@Aera11 omg you are too cute! And your doggie! Is s/he a maltipoo?
lurking*** @laurad75 big hugs. I'm sorry the amnio was so rough. Fx its just the one kidney that did not form correctly and there is not another issue. His ultrasound pic is amazing. I will keep you and your sweet boy in my thoughts.
*TW*
TTC 1/2012 Diagnosed : unexplained infertility 6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015 TTC #3 5/2016 Restarted Fertility tx IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@laurad75 so sorry for the bad news and the tough Amnio. I hope the results are perfect and his other kidney remains normal. I also have the low lying placenta issue. My doc said it would most likely move away as the uterus expands. If not then c-section at 36-37 weeks. Of course I know we would prefer to avoid c-section but at the end of the day it’s whatever is best for these little ones. Big hugs to you and FX for good news from the Amnio and the next scan.
@hottietoddy We were lucky because there really wasn’t much
in there but old IVF supplies a few clothes and an ironing board I got it
cleaned out in about 30minutes. We were
already trying when we moved in and it had sorta always been the wish nursery
to us. It’s just such a surreal dream
come true seeing the baby furniture in there it was a real choked up pinch me
moment. I love the name William! Such a
nice classic name. We also talk to the
baby a lot. We call the baby woo-woo
because that’s how I described the heartbeat to DW the first time I heard it a
little woo-woo-woo-woo J
Sorry your still dealing with the in law drama.
Stick to your guns and take a break for your mental health and for the
baby.
@adriat yeah still at 20wks I was on the diclegis 2 at
night, 1 in the morning, and 1 in the afternoon (total of 4). I’ve been able to go down to only 2 at night
time and have been pretty functional. Usually
1-2 times a week I test the waters and skip it in the evening. This has consistently resulted in me
REGRETING THAT CHOICE BIG TIME! I can’t
really complain though some people have it much worse the medication has really
helped.
@jr102217 boo to a cold.
Everyone at work has been sick I have become the crazy hand sanitizer lady. I hope you feel better soon.
@lablover78 I just can’t do life without the dry
shampoo! I go in the guest bedroom spray
it while holding my breath and run out like a psycho. It’s quite the production but I much prefer
that than actually going through the effort of washing and drying my hair
daily. Too much work!
@laurad75 such a beautiful little boy. I’m glad that they didn’t find anything life
threatening but I am sorry to hear about complications with your son’s kidney
it is so true that people live very full lives with only one. FX that everything is good like it looks like
with the other one. I’m so sorry about
the added stress and worry this has put on you.
Hugs to you and your family.
@mtbadger lol make them squirm. I think it’s hilarious.
@irisheyes81 I think most of us go a little overboard with
trying to avoid the toxins. For me
accepting that I have no control over any of this was just not acceptable to my
mental state!
@aera11 that bump!
That dress! That cute little fluffy dog!
So much to love!!!
AFM,
I think my scan went well, baby takes after me and is camera
shy. We got to see the two little feet
which for some reason melted my heart so much and way my favorite part of the
whole thing. I have to go back in a
couple weeks to finish the scan. The doc
said something about not being able to see enough of the heart and it’s
probably just that they couldn’t get the right angles. Just the way he said it made me feel like
something looked off. He told me not to
worry but of course I am. I also had a
wee bit of a melt down after the scan because the tech asked if we wanted to
know the gender I said no and looked away…but guys before I turned away and
realized what I was looking at I’m pretty sure I saw. DW stayed looking because she wants to be a detective
and figure it out. My behavior that
evening was not tip tops.
DW: Don’t be upset,
tell me what you saw and we can compare, it will still be a surprise you don’t
know for sure.
Me: Crying, pouting,
and crossing my arms like a petulant child.
“NO it’s ruined! All I wanted was
one surprise and it’s ruined! It’s the
only thing I wanted. I put up with all
of this and it’s all I asked for was one surprise and it’s RUIIIINNNED.” More crying.
DW: We might not even
match on what we think it is.
Me: It doesn’t
matter. If we match it confirms it. And if we don’t match it still confirms it
because I’m always riiiiiighhhht (more crying and whining).
DW: Breaks out into uncontrollable
laughter, it really is true you are always right. I think we need some ice
cream.
Nicely played DW…nicely played.
Me:38 DW:33 TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned
Dx: My wife has no sperm and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look 2016 * April IUI#1 - BFN * June IUI#2 - BFN * July IUI#3 - CP * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts. Fresh Transfer 1 - CP * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP 2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal * April/May IVF#2: 9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts! Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining) * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal! * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! 2018 DD born 8/20/18 20195PGS frosties ( 4 remaining) * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7 Beta#2: 322.6
@2momshoping hopefully there’s nothing to worry about but I understand why you would! Just think, you’ll get to see your little one again and hopefully won’t accidentally see any lady bits or boy parts. I had to LoL at your conversation after and hope ice cream fixed everything....I mean, when doesn’t it? What a cute picture!
@laurad75 What a beautiful little boy!! I will say that kidney "issues" seem quite common. My DS had what they called an enlarged kidney (I forget which one, and I forget the technical name for it). I had to have follow up ultrasounds in utero and then they sent us to a pediatric urologist after birth. He had an ultrasound done at a few weeks old, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years and now they want us to wait until he's 4 for his next one. Apparently the ped urologist is not concerned and said it's very common, especially in boys, but they do like to keep an eye on it. I think your DS' case may be slightly different, but I know that it's really not uncommon. A mom friend of mine had the exact same thing come up with her DD in utero and she's doing the same follow ups my DS is. It hasn't affected my DS' life at all and he has never had a UTI or problems urinating. Hopefully your DS' left kidney is just fine and, worst case, he just lives his life with one!
and you guys, I PASSED MY THREE HOUR GLUCOSE TEST!! omg, I am so happy! I was seriously preparing myself to have GD. Which I know isn't the end of the world. My ob called and she said I barely failed the first one (that would've been nice to hear when the nurse called the first time).
AFM, still sick and it got worse Wed night. I had awful stomach pains and had trouble breathing so every position I tried to fall asleep in was painful. I ended up crying for an hour until DH came in to ask what was wrong and of course he couldn’t understand my incoherent explanation in between tears. After some encouragement, I walked around and he got me some ginger ale, I burped several times and I was eventually able to sleep. I tried calling the nurse line but it was after hours and didn’t feel like it was urgent enough to call the emergency nurse line. The next morning though, there were some spots of blood when I coughed up phlegm so I called them first thing when they opened and the nurse said it was natural. She okay’ed some OTC drugs like robitussin and Sudafed or mucinex, and that has helped. I’d been so cautious about taking extra OTC drugs that I didn’t even look in the booklet that the OB had given me. Anyways, I’m going to miss my prenatal yoga class this afternoon but I’m still hopeful that this cold and now cough will go away this weekend so I can feel normal again, whatever normal is whenever you have a little baby kicking and punching you at 6am. Thanks for letting me vent. /Rant
@BusinessWife Super impressed with your clothing haul, especially the little fox tail! Mine/DH's school mascot is a red fox, so we love all fox things. Also if you take over next week, if you wouldn't mind adding me to the list too that would be awesome! 9/10 DD, team green!
@Aera11 I'm itchy too! So glad to hear I'm not alone. I've just been moisturizing a lot, but honestly I've always been a scratcher, so just scratching and not trying to cure it is natural to me haha. Hope the Benedryl works well for you! Also so happy to hear about the non-GD! Like you, I also have fear about this just thinking "that would happen to me" so it's great that you're in the clear!
@2MomsHoping the nursery theme sounds adorable! Very unique!
@laurad75 Just wanted to chime in with hugs for the kidney to be best case scenario! The amnio sounded really terrible, but you're super brave!
@Irisheyes81 Luckily I don't have anyone at work or friends who are triggering me right now with their glorious, free, natural pregnancies, but just wanted to say I totally understand the feelings of bitterness. I sometimes thing I'll feel this way forever, but a close friend of mine who did IVF said her bitterness did start to subside after her baby was born, so there's hope!
AFM: 16+4, DD 9/10 and team green!
I had an early anatomy scan 2 days ago that went great. Everything is looking good, got a boatload of pictures and the ultrasound tech was just as sweet as could be, she was like "wow I measured a perfect 5 oz baby today!"
And thennnnn I told my mom that night, which was her birthday. I figured that was a good enough excuse for holding off as long as I did. I have a super strained relationship with my parents and older brother, and have for about 10 years. My parents struggled to get pregnant and eventually decided to adopt. After they brought my brother home as an infant, my mom got pregnant with me naturally almost immediately after, and then also had my younger brother naturally 2 years after me. You would think as someone who struggled with IF she would be more understanding, but she constantly makes little side comments about people who don't have kids immediately after get married. She assumes they just don't want kids...this is compounded by the fact that I've been married for 5 years and my brother and his wife got pregnant before they even got married and had only been together for about a year. So needless to say, she was shocked by our news. The actual conversation was better than I expected, but then yesterday she started texting me and making more little comments, asking why I've had so many ultrasounds (she asked if the 16 week one was my first I was like no I've had like, 8 so far), asking if I'm high risk, asking why I had to go to a fertility clinic, and the comparing it to how she and my dad took Clomid. Like mom, that's not the same as 2.5 years of trying, $30,000, over 100 needles sitting in my living room, etc etc. Not that there's better or worse infertility it all sucks but like...don't try to minimize my experience.
Anyways, sorry for the vent! Also @hottietoddy even though it's my parents and not my in-laws, I'm definitely in the same boat with you as just needing to preserve your own mental health for yourself and the baby, and staying away from people who cause you stress.
Have a wonderful holiday weekend, Happy Pesach and Happy Easter to all!
Me: 31 DH: 34 Together Since 5/07, Married 5/13 TTC Since 8/15 3 Cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI-11/16, 12/16, 1/17-All Failed Switched RE's 1/17 4 IUIs-2/17 through 6/17-All Failed ER-8/30/17-25 Eggs Retrieved=7 PGS Normal Embyros FET#1 of 1 Embryo-10/3/17-Chemical FET#2 of 2 Embryos-11/16/17-Failed FET#3 of 1 Embryo-12/22/17-BFP! Carter Wright arrived 9/5/18
@sarzee2 glad you made it through the conversation. Sounds like you don't need to be answering all those questions. One thing that makes me very angry is all the personal and detailed questions my MIL asks me. This coupled with then telling them to me SIL and then them not sharing anything back with me is BS. OH and the comparison- I am right there with you. My MIL likes to compare everything in my pregnancy to her high risk pregnancy 25 years ago. Sounds like you also have some boudaries to set. Keep your chin up and don't let her get you down. Sometimes not replying is the best thing- even in person, you don't HAVE to answer or listen to anything!
@Aera11 congratulations on passing! I haven't done glucose test yet, but my A1-C came back at 5.0 this week which is very good! hooray!
@jr102217 hope you get to feeling better and I know how everything is extra scary during pregnancy. Sounds like you just have a nasty cold and hope you can get some rest and feel better. Sure sucks that you can't take anything for it. Take care of yourself and try not to stress which can make it worse. (easier said than done)
@2momshoping I'm sorry you sort of maybe saw something. It is challenging I'm sure to keep the secret. You may or may not know, but you don't know for sure, so that is STILL not knowing! Don't know if that made sense. It sounds like your DW was right on top of it with the ice cream! Jeeze, it just seems like as these appointments get more advanced there are just so many more details to worry about. I'm not worried about gender, but I am sort of dreading my anatomy scan in 2 weeks. It's just a little TMI, like it's nice seeing the baby, but then do I really need to see them analyze blood flow and all the organs? Not really...wish they could just give me the glossy cute pic and do the rest behind the scenes.
In-Law Drama Upate: Have an update on the drama if you are interested. Thank you for allowing me to vent, it really helps.
So, my husband finally read me the email response that my SIL had sent instead of paraphrasing. Before he was trying to gloss over because I couldn't stand to hear the actual response. Turns out she DID NOT apologize. She said that she 'wanted to apologize' but did not think they did anything wrong and asked him to explain. She basically said they thought about us several times and did not tell us to try and let us have our moment. But then she goes on to say that it is their perogative to tell us whenever they want and we should understand that. She then stops and NEVER addressed further how she told us by surpising me and my husband by just showing up pregnant, then pretending it wasn't happening for 2 hours while everyone else knew.
She also defended my MIL saying she didnt medle or mediate and it was all their decision. My MIL wrote back defending herself saying she didn't medle then tried to be a martyr and say 'but if you need to blame me and think that so be it'. Well, my husband CLEARLY remembers my MIL saying to him HERSELF that she told them it was better to not tell us. So that is all bullshit.
My husband has FINALLY, really come around and is understanding the situation. I think the douche-bag email really helped him see what I have been saying all along. He is finally angry and sorted out his feelings himself. It took him about 2 weeks to really process. I am so glad because I think the worst part has been him not understanding why I am upset and defending their clearly horrible behavior. So he wrote the best email response to them and even has a 'round 2' argument ready following her response to defend herself again. We are pretty sure she will not own up to it again, but we are glad she at least didn't cower and blame his mother. 'round 3' is going to be telling her that no matter what her apology or response is, trust has been lost and we don't want to see her for a while. I am sorry but what a miserable person, and I'm so glad my husband sees it too. So the best line of his email is 'while we appreciate your consideration of how we might feel, your actions were in-destinguishable from not caring at all.' He also used an example of how I had to tell my friend of 25 years that has struggled with IF (no children) and is getting divorced that I am pregnant. I called her ahead of time and told her I had some big news I need to tell her and to let me know when a good time for her to call me and talk would be. Then I let her come to me when she knew she had time and space to deal with what I told her. I was very gentle in how I told her and I gave her an out for any stress or obligation. I told her she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to, she doesn't even have to see me or the baby or come to the baby shower if she doesn't want to. The conversation happened yesterday and went off perfectly. She is going to help plan my baby shower and is happy for us. She really appreciated the thoughtfulness, and this is all it would have taken for my sister in law to do for us.
My husband sent the reply 'zinger' email to his family last night so we are awaiting response. I also love that he took his time writing it and didn't reply to them for another week and a half. I like the space he took and I'm sure that just makes them sweat more. We are also going to have to tell them that we like the name William so we are sure they don't try and use it. We don't know what the gender of their kid is yet. They have 2 girls and are pretty vocal about the fact that they are 'trying for a boy'. No offense to others who do this, but in their case, I think this is gross. A child is a child regardless of gender and it is very strange to me to have kids for that reason. I am not trying to be spitefull, but if they have a girl, I will be glad their weird plans are thwarted. If they have a boy I will also be happy because that means they can take him hunting and do all the weird gun loving 'male' activities they think they are going to do with my kid with their own kid. Ps- there is no way they are doing activities with my kid in the future.
We are considering going easier on his mom- but not letting her off the hook and I am not ever going to trust her or have the same relationship with her again. This has been a good catalyst for my husband to also talk to her about her other behaviors of always being a downer as well as medling. He plans to speak to her candidly about these things which I am very thankful for. When I say 'go easy' I mean let her visit the kid after we are home from the hospital, visit and drop off gifts for christmas. Present and phone call on mothers day and that is about it. I am also considering still inviting her and my DH family on their side to the baby shower. I spoke with my husband and we decided that we will not be inviting my sister in law to the baby shower. My husband said he will tell his mom and sister she is not invited so that I can enjoy my baby shower without the distraction after everything that has happened. I have no plans of having any relationship with her or her kids in the future. My husband thinks she should be embarrassed once she realizes what they did and then will apologize. Then he thinks she will apologize again later on once we shun them for a while. I feel that I should still be allowed to enjoy my husbands extended family and friends and the presents at my baby shower. I didn't do anything wrong in all this, so I am happy he agrees. Everyone I have told including our therapist is appalled at their behavior. I am trying to see the silver lining which is that it is pretty black and white what they did wrong. This at least gives me piece of mind that what we are doing to protect our mental health and marriage is the right thing to do. Soon it will be to protect our kid from the madness also.
Re: 2nd Trimester Week of March 25 ***NEW LEADER NEEDED**
@irisheyes81 hopefully the feet swelling doesn't get too bad! I've heard from almost every woman who has been pregnant that it's bound to happen and it's not fun. Oh the joys of pregnancy!
@safire3 the registries are so overwhelming! The only reason I was motivated to do mine was since I was home visiting family and my sister basically did mine for me since she has a 2 year old. LOL
@businesswife that is awesome about the announcements! Please do share (if your comfortable) once you send them out! Those clothes are adorable!! My sister said most ppl tend to give NB stuff at baby showers so she has told me to buy bigger sizes, especially since they do grow so fast! She also gave us 1-2 premie outfits in case little girl is on the smaller size. Her son was on the small size and they had to run out and get a premie onsie to fit him to go home in.
@travelingcouple and @aera11 I can't believe you two are in the 3rd tri already!! Time has flown! I guess I won't be too far behind you (gulp!) that's a little terrifying to think about! @aera11 I hope the itching is resolved soon! Fingers crossed you will pass the 3-hr test today!!
@2momshoping you are on top of things already having the furniture! I am having the toughest time deciding on furniture. And it seems that everything we like there is an issue with it (first was at babies r us but we're not buying from there now; found one we liked at buybuybaby but of course it's not available online or in the color we want!). That theme sounds adorable!
@sarcasticowl hopefully you have figure out a new sleeping position - sleep is the one thing that it still hit or miss for me.
@adirat welcome!! Hopefully the morning sickness subsides for you soon!
@lablover78 that's awesome about the crib and hand me downs!! I'm glad your OB has your back and congrats on the little boy!
@hottietoddy OMG my DH talks, sings, and rubs my belly constantly, which makes me melt everytime he does it. Every morning, he has to kiss my belly goodbye and when he gets home from work that's' the first thing he does. He even reads to her a few times a week from books we have already bought and I tear up just thinking about. After all we've been through to get here (and me not knowing if I'd actually ever get to carry a child since we were seriously considering surrogacy), these moments are that much sweeter. Just wait until your little one starts to react to your DH's voice....our little one will start to kick and squirm as soon as DH starts talking or singing. She is already daddy's little girl! I love the name William! I'm glad you had a good appt with your OB and gave you permission to stay away from your inlaws. Sometimes it's nice to hear validation from a non-involved party that what you are doing is the right thing!
AFM - 26 weeks today and I feel like I've ballooned! I think I've gained 3-4 pounds in a week, ugh and I'm feeling it. I know weight gain can fluctuate and I've been pretty consistent with it so far, but I think little girl went through a growth spurt or something. Bending over to put shoes and socks on is becoming a struggle and I still have 3.5 months to go! Oh boy, this will be fun! Had a little scare last week with some very minimal spotting but it was mostly brown and my OB wasn't concerned so took it easy most of the week just for peace of mind. DH told me last night that I have 98 days until my due date....we are in the double digits, which is both exciting and terrifying thinking about how much still needs to get done! This next month is going to be a blur as we are both home only one weekend. I'm doing a last girls trip to NYC when I'm 28 weeks, so hopefully I'm still feeling good enough to walk around and enjoy myself and then the last weekend in April is my shower! We are trying to narrow down and decide on baby room furniture but it's just so hard!
I haven't told many coworkers yet that I'm pregnant (all of my supervisors know and some of my coworkers that I'm close to) so it's funny seeing their reactions as I'm getting bigger. I can tell they notice but don't know if they should say anything and for some reason, this brings me a little bit of joy. I should mention that I don't see or talk to the majority of my coworkers too often and a lot of them have huge attitudes and I try to avoid. So maybe I like watching them squirm a little bit - is that bad?
@mtpbadger I get a crack out of your joy as your coworkers who you haven't told see you get bigger.
The posts I'm seeing today just crack me up. With all this stress and anxiety, it's nice to see us laugh at the situation or ourselves. Sigh. Ok, I'm going back to being miserable with a cold when all I want to do is touch baby stuff but don't want to get my germs on them.
@jr102217 I'm trying to keep my sense of humor about this so I don't go crazy.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
@laurad75 that is an ADORABLE and perfect little ultrasound. Look at that little nose. He is precious. So many hugs. Hopefully the placenta moves but if not, no biggie. I’m sure a lot of us will have c sections. Sounds like you are taking the MCDK in stride and researching. It is unfortunate they have to give you all the gloom and doom potential risks but there is so much they can do. That amnio sounds terrible. There is so much emotional and physical stress and you’re dealing with it so well. He’s so cute and worth knowing ahead of time to prepare. 4 or 400 viles J I’m sure it felt like 400. You're such a good mom.
@2momshoping thank you for your sweet words about infertility. It was so nice to feel supported and not like a totally ungrateful person. I was pretty insane about the toxins thing and eating clean during egg retrieval because I read that starts with the egg book. I think it was a way to control my totally out of control life. I sit here at 9 am eating pringles and have already had eggos waffles (I had yogurt and a banana too since leg cramps just started for me). I think of how well I ate when I didn’t have another human growing inside of me and it seems a little weird. I’d still say I’m on the non-toxin side since I have roots for days (no highlights for me either). I love that chair!!! I love that it has a high back and looks easier to get in and out of than the really low ones.
@hottietoddy Your inlaws! Good for you for writing a letter and taking a break! Some people just can’t see the ways they hurt others. I don’t think your sister in law understands or wants to understand how she has failed you. You might not have a future relationship with them and that’s okay. Good job taking care of you. Sounds like the baby is doing great!
@aera11 glad the Benadryl is helping the itch. Did you sleep okay? Thanks for your thoughtful words. I like the idea of living in the happy bubble because it seems like time is dragging but it’s also moving forward and will be over so soon.
@jr102217 I bet it was hard to watch your cousin smoking! So sorry to hear about your cold. Sounds like the nursery looks amazing though and how fun you have a mix of new and hand me down. How crazy is it having a baby room in your house?! That’s awesome about yoga. Hopefully that will help you get healthy as well. Every time I think the cold and flu season is over, I see another person with a loose tissue looking miserable.
@lablover78 that is great news about the MaterniT21. Congrats on the little BOY J
@csely321 It’s good to know some of the IF dragon died down after your first was born. The whining about kids is super irritating. I want to be happy for people eventually and let some of the bitterness go.
AFM went to the doctor yesterday and heartbeat was the same, 150. The doctor showed me how high my uterus was. I was thinking, if I’m 21 weeks now…where will my stomach go when I’m 40 weeks? I feel like it’s impossible. Of course it isn’t but I already feel big as a house. Ive gained 20 lbs since my pregnancy started. I went off metformin which is part of it but still. I’m pretty small to begin with so that might be part of it but that seemed like a lot.
I almost forgot HDBD! 28 weeks tomorrow
@Aera11 omg you are too cute! And your doggie! Is s/he a maltipoo?
@laurad75 big hugs. I'm sorry the amnio was so rough. Fx its just the one kidney that did not form correctly and there is not another issue. His ultrasound pic is amazing. I will keep you and your sweet boy in my thoughts.
Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
TTC #3 5/2016
Restarted Fertility tx
IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17
@hottietoddy We were lucky because there really wasn’t much in there but old IVF supplies a few clothes and an ironing board I got it cleaned out in about 30minutes. We were already trying when we moved in and it had sorta always been the wish nursery to us. It’s just such a surreal dream come true seeing the baby furniture in there it was a real choked up pinch me moment. I love the name William! Such a nice classic name. We also talk to the baby a lot. We call the baby woo-woo because that’s how I described the heartbeat to DW the first time I heard it a little woo-woo-woo-woo J Sorry your still dealing with the in law drama. Stick to your guns and take a break for your mental health and for the baby.
@adriat yeah still at 20wks I was on the diclegis 2 at night, 1 in the morning, and 1 in the afternoon (total of 4). I’ve been able to go down to only 2 at night time and have been pretty functional. Usually 1-2 times a week I test the waters and skip it in the evening. This has consistently resulted in me REGRETING THAT CHOICE BIG TIME! I can’t really complain though some people have it much worse the medication has really helped.
@jr102217 boo to a cold. Everyone at work has been sick I have become the crazy hand sanitizer lady. I hope you feel better soon.
@lablover78 I just can’t do life without the dry shampoo! I go in the guest bedroom spray it while holding my breath and run out like a psycho. It’s quite the production but I much prefer that than actually going through the effort of washing and drying my hair daily. Too much work!
@laurad75 such a beautiful little boy. I’m glad that they didn’t find anything life threatening but I am sorry to hear about complications with your son’s kidney it is so true that people live very full lives with only one. FX that everything is good like it looks like with the other one. I’m so sorry about the added stress and worry this has put on you. Hugs to you and your family.
@mtbadger lol make them squirm. I think it’s hilarious.
@irisheyes81 I think most of us go a little overboard with trying to avoid the toxins. For me accepting that I have no control over any of this was just not acceptable to my mental state!
@aera11 that bump! That dress! That cute little fluffy dog! So much to love!!!
AFM,
I think my scan went well, baby takes after me and is camera shy. We got to see the two little feet which for some reason melted my heart so much and way my favorite part of the whole thing. I have to go back in a couple weeks to finish the scan. The doc said something about not being able to see enough of the heart and it’s probably just that they couldn’t get the right angles. Just the way he said it made me feel like something looked off. He told me not to worry but of course I am. I also had a wee bit of a melt down after the scan because the tech asked if we wanted to know the gender I said no and looked away…but guys before I turned away and realized what I was looking at I’m pretty sure I saw. DW stayed looking because she wants to be a detective and figure it out. My behavior that evening was not tip tops.
DW: Don’t be upset, tell me what you saw and we can compare, it will still be a surprise you don’t know for sure.
Me: Crying, pouting, and crossing my arms like a petulant child. “NO it’s ruined! All I wanted was one surprise and it’s ruined! It’s the only thing I wanted. I put up with all of this and it’s all I asked for was one surprise and it’s RUIIIINNNED.” More crying.
DW: We might not even match on what we think it is.
Me: It doesn’t matter. If we match it confirms it. And if we don’t match it still confirms it because I’m always riiiiiighhhht (more crying and whining).
DW: Breaks out into uncontrollable laughter, it really is true you are always right. I think we need some ice cream.
Nicely played DW…nicely played.
TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned
2016
* April IUI#1 - BFN
* June IUI#2 - BFN
* July IUI#3 - CP
* Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts. Fresh Transfer 1 - CP
* November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP
2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
* April/May IVF#2: 9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts! Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
* November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
* November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
2018 DD born 8/20/18
2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
* September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7 Beta#2: 322.6
@aera11 the dress, the bump, the doggie
and you guys, I PASSED MY THREE HOUR GLUCOSE TEST!! omg, I am so happy! I was seriously preparing myself to have GD. Which I know isn't the end of the world. My ob called and she said I barely failed the first one (that would've been nice to hear when the nurse called the first time).
@Aera11 Congrats on passing the glucose test!!!! Now you can enjoy some candy this weekend, guilt-free ;)
@Aera11 great news! Congrats on passing.
AFM, still sick and it got worse Wed night. I had awful stomach pains and had trouble breathing so every position I tried to fall asleep in was painful. I ended up crying for an hour until DH came in to ask what was wrong and of course he couldn’t understand my incoherent explanation in between tears. After some encouragement, I walked around and he got me some ginger ale, I burped several times and I was eventually able to sleep. I tried calling the nurse line but it was after hours and didn’t feel like it was urgent enough to call the emergency nurse line. The next morning though, there were some spots of blood when I coughed up phlegm so I called them first thing when they opened and the nurse said it was natural. She okay’ed some OTC drugs like robitussin and Sudafed or mucinex, and that has helped. I’d been so cautious about taking extra OTC drugs that I didn’t even look in the booklet that the OB had given me. Anyways, I’m going to miss my prenatal yoga class this afternoon but I’m still hopeful that this cold and now cough will go away this weekend so I can feel normal again, whatever normal is whenever you have a little baby kicking and punching you at 6am. Thanks for letting me vent.
/Rant
I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!
@BusinessWife Super impressed with your clothing haul, especially the little fox tail! Mine/DH's school mascot is a red fox, so we love all fox things. Also if you take over next week, if you wouldn't mind adding me to the list too that would be awesome! 9/10 DD, team green!
@Aera11 I'm itchy too! So glad to hear I'm not alone. I've just been moisturizing a lot, but honestly I've always been a scratcher, so just scratching and not trying to cure it is natural to me haha. Hope the Benedryl works well for you! Also so happy to hear about the non-GD! Like you, I also have fear about this just thinking "that would happen to me" so it's great that you're in the clear!
@2MomsHoping the nursery theme sounds adorable! Very unique!
@laurad75 Just wanted to chime in with hugs for the kidney to be best case scenario! The amnio sounded really terrible, but you're super brave!
@Irisheyes81 Luckily I don't have anyone at work or friends who are triggering me right now with their glorious, free, natural pregnancies, but just wanted to say I totally understand the feelings of bitterness. I sometimes thing I'll feel this way forever, but a close friend of mine who did IVF said her bitterness did start to subside after her baby was born, so there's hope!
AFM: 16+4, DD 9/10 and team green!
I had an early anatomy scan 2 days ago that went great. Everything is looking good, got a boatload of pictures and the ultrasound tech was just as sweet as could be, she was like "wow I measured a perfect 5 oz baby today!"
And thennnnn I told my mom that night, which was her birthday. I figured that was a good enough excuse for holding off as long as I did. I have a super strained relationship with my parents and older brother, and have for about 10 years. My parents struggled to get pregnant and eventually decided to adopt. After they brought my brother home as an infant, my mom got pregnant with me naturally almost immediately after, and then also had my younger brother naturally 2 years after me. You would think as someone who struggled with IF she would be more understanding, but she constantly makes little side comments about people who don't have kids immediately after get married. She assumes they just don't want kids...this is compounded by the fact that I've been married for 5 years and my brother and his wife got pregnant before they even got married and had only been together for about a year. So needless to say, she was shocked by our news. The actual conversation was better than I expected, but then yesterday she started texting me and making more little comments, asking why I've had so many ultrasounds (she asked if the 16 week one was my first I was like no I've had like, 8 so far), asking if I'm high risk, asking why I had to go to a fertility clinic, and the comparing it to how she and my dad took Clomid. Like mom, that's not the same as 2.5 years of trying, $30,000, over 100 needles sitting in my living room, etc etc. Not that there's better or worse infertility it all sucks but like...don't try to minimize my experience.
Anyways, sorry for the vent! Also @hottietoddy even though it's my parents and not my in-laws, I'm definitely in the same boat with you as just needing to preserve your own mental health for yourself and the baby, and staying away from people who cause you stress.
Have a wonderful holiday weekend, Happy Pesach and Happy Easter to all!
Together Since 5/07, Married 5/13
TTC Since 8/15
3 Cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI-11/16, 12/16, 1/17-All Failed
Switched RE's 1/17
4 IUIs-2/17 through 6/17-All Failed
ER-8/30/17-25 Eggs Retrieved=7 PGS Normal Embyros
FET#1 of 1 Embryo-10/3/17-Chemical
FET#2 of 2 Embryos-11/16/17-Failed
FET#3 of 1 Embryo-12/22/17-BFP!
Carter Wright arrived 9/5/18
@Aera11 congratulations on passing! I haven't done glucose test yet, but my A1-C came back at 5.0 this week which is very good! hooray!
@jr102217 hope you get to feeling better and I know how everything is extra scary during pregnancy. Sounds like you just have a nasty cold and hope you can get some rest and feel better. Sure sucks that you can't take anything for it. Take care of yourself and try not to stress which can make it worse. (easier said than done)
@2momshoping I'm sorry you sort of maybe saw something. It is challenging I'm sure to keep the secret. You may or may not know, but you don't know for sure, so that is STILL not knowing! Don't know if that made sense. It sounds like your DW was right on top of it with the ice cream! Jeeze, it just seems like as these appointments get more advanced there are just so many more details to worry about. I'm not worried about gender, but I am sort of dreading my anatomy scan in 2 weeks. It's just a little TMI, like it's nice seeing the baby, but then do I really need to see them analyze blood flow and all the organs? Not really...wish they could just give me the glossy cute pic and do the rest behind the scenes.
In-Law Drama Upate:
Have an update on the drama if you are interested. Thank you for allowing me to vent, it really helps.
She also defended my MIL saying she didnt medle or mediate and it was all their decision. My MIL wrote back defending herself saying she didn't medle then tried to be a martyr and say 'but if you need to blame me and think that so be it'. Well, my husband CLEARLY remembers my MIL saying to him HERSELF that she told them it was better to not tell us. So that is all bullshit.
My husband has FINALLY, really come around and is understanding the situation. I think the douche-bag email really helped him see what I have been saying all along. He is finally angry and sorted out his feelings himself. It took him about 2 weeks to really process. I am so glad because I think the worst part has been him not understanding why I am upset and defending their clearly horrible behavior. So he wrote the best email response to them and even has a 'round 2' argument ready following her response to defend herself again. We are pretty sure she will not own up to it again, but we are glad she at least didn't cower and blame his mother. 'round 3' is going to be telling her that no matter what her apology or response is, trust has been lost and we don't want to see her for a while. I am sorry but what a miserable person, and I'm so glad my husband sees it too. So the best line of his email is 'while we appreciate your consideration of how we might feel, your actions were in-destinguishable from not caring at all.' He also used an example of how I had to tell my friend of 25 years that has struggled with IF (no children) and is getting divorced that I am pregnant. I called her ahead of time and told her I had some big news I need to tell her and to let me know when a good time for her to call me and talk would be. Then I let her come to me when she knew she had time and space to deal with what I told her. I was very gentle in how I told her and I gave her an out for any stress or obligation. I told her she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to, she doesn't even have to see me or the baby or come to the baby shower if she doesn't want to. The conversation happened yesterday and went off perfectly. She is going to help plan my baby shower and is happy for us. She really appreciated the thoughtfulness, and this is all it would have taken for my sister in law to do for us.
My husband sent the reply 'zinger' email to his family last night so we are awaiting response. I also love that he took his time writing it and didn't reply to them for another week and a half. I like the space he took and I'm sure that just makes them sweat more. We are also going to have to tell them that we like the name William so we are sure they don't try and use it. We don't know what the gender of their kid is yet. They have 2 girls and are pretty vocal about the fact that they are 'trying for a boy'. No offense to others who do this, but in their case, I think this is gross. A child is a child regardless of gender and it is very strange to me to have kids for that reason. I am not trying to be spitefull, but if they have a girl, I will be glad their weird plans are thwarted. If they have a boy I will also be happy because that means they can take him hunting and do all the weird gun loving 'male' activities they think they are going to do with my kid with their own kid. Ps- there is no way they are doing activities with my kid in the future.
We are considering going easier on his mom- but not letting her off the hook and I am not ever going to trust her or have the same relationship with her again. This has been a good catalyst for my husband to also talk to her about her other behaviors of always being a downer as well as medling. He plans to speak to her candidly about these things which I am very thankful for. When I say 'go easy' I mean let her visit the kid after we are home from the hospital, visit and drop off gifts for christmas. Present and phone call on mothers day and that is about it. I am also considering still inviting her and my DH family on their side to the baby shower. I spoke with my husband and we decided that we will not be inviting my sister in law to the baby shower. My husband said he will tell his mom and sister she is not invited so that I can enjoy my baby shower without the distraction after everything that has happened. I have no plans of having any relationship with her or her kids in the future. My husband thinks she should be embarrassed once she realizes what they did and then will apologize. Then he thinks she will apologize again later on once we shun them for a while. I feel that I should still be allowed to enjoy my husbands extended family and friends and the presents at my baby shower. I didn't do anything wrong in all this, so I am happy he agrees.
Everyone I have told including our therapist is appalled at their behavior. I am trying to see the silver lining which is that it is pretty black and white what they did wrong. This at least gives me piece of mind that what we are doing to protect our mental health and marriage is the right thing to do. Soon it will be to protect our kid from the madness also.