Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
littlebean37
member
Heterotopic pregnancy after IUI
littlebean37
member
This journey has been rough. We did an IUI in Jan, got a bfp and then I started cramping and bleeding at almost 6 weeks. I felt like something had been wrong because my HCG numbers stayed very low. We were devastated. But then I kept bleeding for over 2 weeks. We did an u/s and saw the empty sac and did another beta test on Monday, Feb 19th. My beta came back higher than before and I started feeling pelvic and thigh pain midweek. It was more achy and crampy than sharp. I worked through it and it was a feeling that would come and go. I did another beta on Wed and another on Fri. The test on wed had risen but the Fri results were down a little. My Dr said he just wanted to keep monitoring my betas and that it was fine at this point because the numbers were dropping. He called me on Sat to see how I was doing. My pain had gotten worse so he told me to go to the ER. Once there, they did an u/s. In the first report, they said they found a cyst and a follicle in the left ovary but nothing to be alarmed about. They couldn't figure out what was causing my leg pain. The OB took another look at the u/s and found that they had missed a 2cm mass on my right side. They did an emergency laparoscopy which turned into a laparoscopic salpingectomy. Turns out I had a heterotopic pregnancy. 1 intrauterine and 1 ectopic. Luckily, the ectopic was only leaking and had not yet ruptured. They had to remove my right fallopian tube. I had thought that a miscarriage was bad enough but I felt absolutely crushed to know I lost two babies and 1 tube. I'm recovering and went in for a Dr appointment yesterday to talk about when to start trying again and I couldn't help but just cry. I have a lot of great friends and family caring for me but I still feel so alone. I want to try again but I'm feeling terrified. Chances of an ectopic increase after having one. I don't know that I could go through this again. People just keep telling me well at least you know you can get pregnant. It almost seems worse because it's like if I get pregnant again, I'll be worrying about losing it or another ectopic. I just started my period on Wednesday. I told the Dr I didn't want any more poking and prodding for a little while but at the same time, I don't want to lose time. He ended up prescribing me some Clomid and my husband and I will just use ovulation kits and try naturally. This morning I'm wondering if I'm really ready but I already took the first dose. Anyone else ever deal with this? Sorry this is so long. I feel like I needed to expel this from my being. Maybe putting it out there will help me let go.
Re: Heterotopic pregnancy after IUI
You'll get there, just be patient with yourself
I had 15 losses in 3.5 years, and there were times where I was cautiously optimistic, and other times where I wondered why I even bothered.
I think what makes a world of difference is if you know why the losses are happening and whether or not there are things in your control to increase your odds. When you don't have answers, it feels a lot more difficult and frustrating.
You'll probably always be anxious, but as long as you maintain good self-care and surround yourself with people who will remind you to be gentle with yourself, you'll be much more okay.
I hope that helps.
I'm finally starting to feel healed physically. Hoping for rainbows for all of us.