@mytinc I'm sure it's much more difficult in practice, but in theory I am in the talk-about-sex-early-and-often camp. I think the reason I feel that way is because I remember when I found out what sex was and how I felt. My friends told me in first grade, and I thought they were lying to me, and I went home and told my dad that my friends had lied to me, and he laughed and said, "Oh no they did not lie to you, that's absolutely true." And I just felt like he and my mom had forgotten to tell me this critical piece of information. Like, I felt like everyone had forgotten to let me in on a secret and had set me up to feel stupid. (In my case, though, I think my parents actually forgot to tell me about it; I don't think they were deliberately hiding it lol, so I wasn't entirely off base with my assessment.)
@doxiemoxie212 not sure what your first grade friends told you but my younger cousins were taught (as was I) but they were probably taught too young. Because they would tell other people adults were having sex all the time even when they were napping, getting dressed, sleeping, anytime a man and a woman did anything in private (behind a door) they were having sex or “sexing.” It was embarrassing for a long time bc it was no restraint who they would say it about (for example married man and single woman go in another room for Sunday school (like the adult class) theyd say they were in there sexing aloud in church about a married man.
@ffw0617 they told me that a penis goes inside a vagina. We also had sex ed at my school in first grade, 3rd grade, 5th grade, 7th grade and 8th grade. So there was a lot of confirmation that what I learned from my friends was in fact true lol. But I also grew up in the bay area without any kind of religious upbringing (don't know many people who went to any kind of church or synagogue, etc.), and most people were pretty sex positive. (I think more time could've been taught explaining how to make sex pleasurable rather than simply the mechanics of it, but I understand why that wasn't something that happened.) I don't remember us making a lot of sex jokes... I think it was mostly a non-issue?
I found out what sex was at a pretty young age. I have a much older sister who had gotten pregnant while away at college, so my mom and dad decided it was time to explain it to my brother and I. I have a really strong memory of correcting my best friend when she said, "Barbie and Ken kissed and now Barbie's pregnant." I was like, no - that is NOT how it works. Then proceeded to explain how it works. She went home and told her mom. I'm pretty sure my mom got a very awkward phone call that night.
Anyone else feel like LO moves their arms much more than actually kicking? Before I wasn’t sure what was what, but now that she’s gone head down (I feel hiccups on my cervix almost daily) I definitely feel a lot more movement below my belly button and only occasional soft taps up by my ribs.
@MissKittyDanger I am fairly certain the basic basic versions of OTC allergy meds are safe. Obviously, benedryl is fine because it’s often suggested as an anti nausea Med combined with B6. I had a pharmacist friend say that Flonase was also fine. Stay away from things with a “D” at the end. (EG the meds you have to sign your life away out here at the pharmacy.)
@2589 yes. I feel little fingers / hands way down low. I rarely feel the big kicks. My placenta is located by my left ribs and at my last appointment, the NP thought the feet were up there too, explaining why I didn’t feel much.
Ahhhh @marcus7676 I totally forgot to attribute it to the dratted anterior placenta! It was low lying at 16 and 20 weeks but I would assume it’s moved significantly with the growth of the uterus at this point. Thanks!
@2589 mine moved a bunch between 20-28 weeks. It’s about the height of my belly button. Given their size, it probably takes up most of my left side too.
Turns out "k" sounds are pretty common for kids to struggle with. Our friends' almost 2-yo DD struggles with it and typically replaces "k" sounds with a "t" sound. So cats are "tats" and kitty is...
@LaceyBee522 Barbie taught me about sex, too. She'd married Ken that day, and my friend used the dolls to illustrate quite matter-of-factly what came next. (Though in hindsight, I'm quite grateful his illustration wasn't quite on the money -- there was a little more corkscrew action than I'd be down for.) Frankly, I think my parents were relieved someone else had started the conversation for them.
All of you STMs are doing a beautiful, thoughtful job teaching your little ones about bodies, and it's crazy to think how far we've come in a single generation. Not to bring the conversation down, but please also remind them, often, that their private parts (whatever they may call them!) are theirs alone and that no-one else should ask to touch or see. I've recently run across several sad reminders that educating our kids is not only about giving them a body- and sex-positive foundation but so important for their protection.
how long does the process take when you get a pump through your insurance?
I'm on the fence. I didn't produce for DS. after a couple weeks of weight checks, they said I had to use formula cause he was losing to much weight. he was a much happier (and plump) baby after that. I didn't actually enjoy the process of breast feeding though so I've been saying I probably won't with this one. my dr keeps asking if I am though.. and I'm sure i'll be pressured to try in the hospital, which I am ok with. But now I'm like 'well, I work from home now. this is an ideal situation to breast feed if I can.. not lugging pumps, bottles to work etc'. So I'm thinking do I try for a pump now? or wait and see if I even produce? how long will a pump take? ehhhh.
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
@catlady1215 - I think it depends on your insurance. With DS2 (born in Sept14), my insurance only supplied a hand pump for free, but since he went to the NICU I was eligible for a Medela PISA, but couldn't apply for it until after he was born. I called the day after he was born and it was on my doorstep at my house within a day or two of the call.
First Son - born 2013
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
@catlady1215 my hospital has a medical device rep come around on day one or two and take your insurance / delivers the pump. So it was super easy / quick. But I don't think every hospital does this.
@catlady1215 It depends on your insurance, the supplier you choose, and how quickly they can get the info they need info from your OB. Most insurance requires orders from your OB but will not wait to send based on due date. Go ahead and order it if you want, since it's free. If you don't end up using it, you can always give it away or sell it. Right now, it's been two weeks since I placed my order, but I've used the same supplier twice before and I don't think it will take much longer to come in.
Among some of the more interesting questions I was asked this weekend by DD: "Why do we have blood?" Then, after explaining, "Does furniture have blood?" "Why does my butt have a hole in it?"
the butt thing....omg I'm dying. Your child is my favorite person ever.
@taykc90 She was eating chili and I had asked her to take her shirt and pants off. She took her undies off too, because she's 3, and I think cracker crumbs may have prompted that question.
@MissKittyDanger I am fairly certain the basic basic versions of OTC allergy meds are safe. Obviously, benedryl is fine because it’s often suggested as an anti nausea Med combined with B6. I had a pharmacist friend say that Flonase was also fine. Stay away from things with a “D” at the end. (EG the meds you have to sign your life away out here at the pharmacy.)
My OB has mentioned benedryl before but even the day time stuff makes me drowsy {i'm also that person who gets drowsy on Gravol typically lmao}
@catlady1215 my pump took like 2 weeks from yummymummy. I started the process at like 18 weeks thinking it would take forever. I was surprised bc they said they ship based on your due date. It was a super painless process so why not.
ETA: keep in mind when I say its painless; it's coming from the girl who never returns anything bc it's too much of a hassle and headache bc I hate all that kind of stuff. So really, truly, painless.
I can't get my pump until 37 weeks. Last time it was delivered to me super fast - like 2 or 3 days later.
My insurance will only cover another Medela PISA. I want to try to sell the new one in the box and apply some of the money towards a Spectra. Although I produced very well last time and I'm wondering why I want to rock the boat. My best friend had both and noticed no difference at all, but I'm such a sucker for recommendations I read online!
I have no idea how or why this worked differently for me, but once I had the boy, my husband was able to go to the pharmacy at the hospital and used our insurance to get the pump from them same day. (We had BCBS at the time)
Thanks ladies! so it sounds like every situation is just different. I really hope they don't make me wait till baby is here AND need something from my OB. cause she's literally only my OB till delivery... then I won't see whoever I pick as a new one till my 6 wk check up.
I think this whole pump coverage was super new when I had DS, cause no one mentioned it back then. wonder if it'll be a bigger topic while I'm in this time. Maybe i'll just give my insurance a call and feel them out.
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
@catlady1215 my OB writes a prescription for one and then I take that to the DME store to pick one up. Maybe your OB can write you a script now so you have it ready if needed when the time comes? I’m planning on asking here shortly at my 32 week appointment.
@catlady1215 I had the option of buying any pump + accessories within $250 then sending my receipt to insurance for reimbursement. It was nice because I didn't have to wait on insurance for the pump, just the $. I also got a good deal on Amazon and had extra insurance $ for bottles and accessories.
Target is having a sale on DockaTot products (or at least specific fabrics) so now I'm debating, do I get the rose one I love, or do I get the more gender-neutral marble one that I don't think I love as much? Our house is really neutral with a lot of marble accents, so I don't know why I'm so drawn to the roses... maybe because I think the marble sort of looks like blue cheese instead? Thoughts?
@doxiemoxie212 now I can't unsee blue cheese on the marble one, so I vote roses. If you have another kid and it's a boy, he won't care if he's sleeping in a bed of roses!
Me 30 Him 30 Married August 2015 DS born 5/23/2018 TTC #2 July 2020
@catlady1215 I got my prescription for my new pump at my 28 week appointment- still need to order one. I don't remember how long it took for my last one to arrive, but it was pretty quick. If you don't get a prescription from your OB (you might still be able to order one now, the company I went through got the script directly from my OB last time) your LO's pediatrician can also write a prescription for a breast pump- since I had one while pregnant with DD I never had to ask the pediatrician but another woman was getting a prescription from the pediatrician when we were there over the winter).
@doxiemoxie212 I love the rose one too- but as a STM who has had to re-buy blue or gender neutral stuff this time around would you be okay using that with a little boy if you have another baby in the future? If you plan on one and done- go with the roses. If not go with the blue cheese- i mean marble or a different cover.
@jsl82@Amphibious22 DH finally responded to my gchats, and his response was, "WE ARE A PRO-ROSE HOUSEHOLD!!" lol (because he has some tattoos of roses, I think they are a symbol for DSA, and we both watch The Bachelor ) so I guess any future sons will be pro-rose too. Roses it is!
@doxiemoxie212 +1 vote on the rose one. I agree on gender neutral for the most part because that's what I tried to do with baby #1 BUT, if I had a little girl I'd have to have a couple of things that were like that dock a tot.
While we're on the gender neutral topic (or ignoring of it), I had a $160 gift card to Bloomingdale's, and they're doing a buy $200 get $75 off thing right now, so I may or may not have used it on impractical baby items...
@doxiemoxie212 - go for the roses! If you need something a little less "girl" later you can get a different cover for it. Check out the DAT bst on FB if you haven't already. That is where I got mine.
Does anyone have their hospital bag ready to go? My little suitcase is out from my last work trip and since I'm restricted from traveling now, I'm debating if I should put it away or pack for the hospital (just in case).
@LaceyBee522 I have bag started but not ready to go fully...I'm just about 30 weeks and DD came fast and furious at 38 weeks so while I'm hoping I'm not going to need it until June, I'd rather be safe than sorry. DH also told me at 32 weeks he wants me to put a beach towel over the seat of the car so I don't ruin it if my water breaks again while I'm driving and ruin his company car...
How far are you from the hospital, @Lacybee522? With DS1 I went in for my 38 week appointment and ended up getting induced and going home with a baby 2 days later. We're only 20 minutes away from that hospital, and I didn't have my bag packed yet. DH had time to go home and throw some things in a bag for me and it wasn't a big deal.
With DS2 I delivered at a hospital just over an hour away, so I had my bag in the trunk of my car for the last couple weeks as a "just in case" since we were further away.
I'll be delivering at the closer hospital again this time and haven't even thought about packing a bag yet.
First Son - born 2013
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
Re: Questions?? w/o 3/26
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
Turns out "k" sounds are pretty common for kids to struggle with. Our friends' almost 2-yo DD struggles with it and typically replaces "k" sounds with a "t" sound. So cats are "tats" and kitty is...
DS born 9/24/2020
All of you STMs are doing a beautiful, thoughtful job teaching your little ones about bodies, and it's crazy to think how far we've come in a single generation. Not to bring the conversation down, but please also remind them, often, that their private parts (whatever they may call them!) are theirs alone and that no-one else should ask to touch or see. I've recently run across several sad reminders that educating our kids is not only about giving them a body- and sex-positive foundation but so important for their protection.
I'm on the fence. I didn't produce for DS. after a couple weeks of weight checks, they said I had to use formula cause he was losing to much weight. he was a much happier (and plump) baby after that. I didn't actually enjoy the process of breast feeding though so I've been saying I probably won't with this one. my dr keeps asking if I am though.. and I'm sure i'll be pressured to try in the hospital, which I am ok with. But now I'm like 'well, I work from home now. this is an ideal situation to breast feed if I can.. not lugging pumps, bottles to work etc'. So I'm thinking do I try for a pump now? or wait and see if I even produce? how long will a pump take? ehhhh.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
Go ahead and order it if you want, since it's free. If you don't end up using it, you can always give it away or sell it. Right now, it's been two weeks since I placed my order, but I've used the same supplier twice before and I don't think it will take much longer to come in.
ETA: keep in mind when I say its painless; it's coming from the girl who never returns anything bc it's too much of a hassle and headache bc I hate all that kind of stuff. So really, truly, painless.
My insurance will only cover another Medela PISA. I want to try to sell the new one in the box and apply some of the money towards a Spectra. Although I produced very well last time and I'm wondering why I want to rock the boat. My best friend had both and noticed no difference at all, but I'm such a sucker for recommendations I read online!
I think this whole pump coverage was super new when I had DS, cause no one mentioned it back then. wonder if it'll be a bigger topic while I'm in this time. Maybe i'll just give my insurance a call and feel them out.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
@doxiemoxie212 I love the rose one too- but as a STM who has had to re-buy blue or gender neutral stuff this time around would you be okay using that with a little boy if you have another baby in the future? If you plan on one and done- go with the roses. If not go with the blue cheese- i mean marble or a different cover.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
The only gender thing that has mattered so far, was the training potty. Girls potties don't have the little lip that boys need.
With DS2 I delivered at a hospital just over an hour away, so I had my bag in the trunk of my car for the last couple weeks as a "just in case" since we were further away.
I'll be delivering at the closer hospital again this time and haven't even thought about packing a bag yet.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018