@stephcat421 yeah like this might be way TMI but I got out a mirror the other day while doing some maintenance like you all were talking about earlier, and it doesn’t even look quite right down there anymore...
@l2589 omg my fear lol! TMI ALERT- I seriously was feeling and it was like so swollen my hole seems like it's closed off and my thought was this thing must look a fright. Now I'm really curious, or scared maybe to check it out with a mirror!
Agree with @stephcat421 lube is absolutely necessary these days. And @May14th2011 MH was pretty pleased with the whole situation. I feel like it's a guy bucket list type of thing.
@2589 that 100% describes MH. We can go a while without him bringing it up, but the second we dtd, it's like he wants it all the time.
Me 30 Him 30 Married August 2015 DS born 5/23/2018 TTC #2 July 2020
@stephcat421@May14th2011 I am neither visibly swollen nor dry (oh my god, the opposite) but with/without lube, I find sex really painful while pregnant. How would I know if I had varicose veins INSIDE my vagina? Like my whole vagina aches when we have sex. I just don't like it. And it does not go away, so I usually (ha ha, as if we have done it often enough for there to be a "usually") end up just trying to encourage DH to finish quickly.
This is funny bc DH said last night he assumed we were done until after the baby. He knows its not enjoyable for me anymore, i hate being inactive in bed (my biggest turn off with myself). Haven’t gotten oral since 2 days before my BFP and knowing he won’t do it makes me not want to do it to him either, plus its ugly and swollen down there not sure I’d be comfortable anyway. I’m going to try to put in more effort. But I haven’t had an orgasim since first tri and the entire time i just lay/ lean there worried about him pushing my stomach into whatever object (bed/ chair/ table) I’m leaning against.
I need some help here too. We did it in the shower last night but it was more out of obligation because it was our dating anniversary and we hadn't done it in quite some time. I find that while its not uncomfortable its not exactly pleasurable. I haven't found a position that really does it for me and I feel like MH isn't really into it much to start off with foreplay or going down on me (I've still been able to trim down there by feel so that is no excuse for him).
I guess I am more struggling with the fact that I don't feel like myself and I don't feel sexy and I think he is trying not to push things because he knows I'm uncomfortable but I kind of need him to because I don't feel like he finds me attractive right now.
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@stephcat421 no... I haven't cared enough to. I don't actually want to have sex so... I don't really have any motivation to. And DH doesn't really care. We both would rather spend time snuggling watching TV or talking, so sex always gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list. We had sex most often when we slept in a twin sized bed in my dorm room when we were 19, and the dorm cable only got basic so we ran out of things to watch. lol
@doxiemoxie212 I don't blame you... It's seems about the same for DH and I too where sex isn't top priority. When we first started dating, he had trouble with impotence not clinical but self diagnosed. Over time it got better, and now there's no problem but for the first maybe 8 months together we had maybe 3 successful sex episodes which was highly frustrating but the advantage was our relationship blossomed in so many other solid ways!
MH hasn't been particularly interested in sex since I got pregnant. I think he's a little scared to do it - thinking it might hurt the pregnancy. To be fair, I haven't pushed it because I have NOT been in the mood. My libido has gone waaaaaaaaay down since getting pregnant.
@stephcat421 I think part of it for DH now is just that he's lazy. When we were first dating, I was 19 and convinced it was impossible for me to orgasm from penetrative sex -- I thought I could only orgasm from manual or oral stimulation. So I really encouraged him to be as fast as he could with sex (lol). And I would often use saliva as lube if he wanted to have sex, and I wasn't in the mood yet instead of having him put in the effort. Then about a year in I decided nope, this sucks, and refused to have sex unless I had an orgasm first, which he felt was time consuming. I have since figured out how to orgasm from sex, but not always, and I still need some time to get revved up -- and sometimes the revving doesn't work. That is too complicated for DH. I think he feels like, listen, if you can't tell me from the get go whether or not you're going to enjoy this, I just don't think we should do this at all. Le sigh. But now I don't even care. Like sex doesn't even occur to me. Orgasms don't even occur to me.
@kren uhhhh no. I can barely bend down to pick up my phone charger, you think i have the energy and knee strength to support my big butt up and down repeatedly pregnant? So when i start hyperventilating and a kick to roll over to my left side when I’m done very sexy.
@kfren yeah I'm with @Amphibious22 in some ways, and also maybe this is TMI, but DH's dick sort of curves forward toward his stomach? So it's really painful for him to bend it back that far, and it presses really hard against my rectum. And 45 degree angle? Girl you are insane. That HURTS! I don't know that it would with all dicks, but it certainly does with DH's. It's like pain mixed with a heebie jeebie feeling. Oh god, I shudder (in a bad way) thinking about it. Plus, reverse cowgirl has to be the best way for DH to just stare at my hemorrhoids short of 69 with me on top... no thanks. lol Andplusalsoagain I think my pelvis might actually pack up shop and remove itself from my body if I did that.
I was on pelvic rest from 20-28 weeks. We DtD around 19 weeks and I was already so uncomfortable. Given how I feel now, I’m not going to attempt it unless he brings it up. We DTD at 37 weeks with DS. Not fun.
@kfren 45 degrees would be easier I just physically can’t do it repeatedly. I have a reputation in the bedroom to keep. Im younger than DH by 4 years I can’t trash talk in bed if I suck (figuratively). When I’m on top I usually leave DH begging me to let up, slow down and have mercy (evil smirk).
@kfren in order to successfully do reverse CG, I have to squat, because otherwise my knees don't touch the bed because MH is a big dude and has a bubble booty. Lol. So we don't do it much, especially now.
I second most everyone saying there aren't really any positions that seem to work, and things are dry as hell down there and maybe swollen? IDK.
I think we might be able to try @Amphibious22 position with lots of pillows propping me up. May try it. May or may not report back, lol
If any of you aren’t too weirded out by the suggestion....a boppy breastfeeding pillow is the perfect accommodation for lifting back/pelvis, or for laying on your stomach for *ahem* “activities”
Re: Weekend Randoms 3/24-25
AFM in the late night talk, we tried a new lube yesterday and I was allergic to it.
@2589 that 100% describes MH. We can go a while without him bringing it up, but the second we dtd, it's like he wants it all the time.
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
I guess I am more struggling with the fact that I don't feel like myself and I don't feel sexy and I think he is trying not to push things because he knows I'm uncomfortable but I kind of need him to because I don't feel like he finds me attractive right now.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Married August 2015
DS born 5/23/2018
TTC #2 July 2020
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
I second most everyone saying there aren't really any positions that seem to work, and things are dry as hell down there and maybe swollen? IDK.
I think we might be able to try @Amphibious22 position with lots of pillows propping me up. May try it. May or may not report back, lol