I am making this question its own thread as I think it could generate some significant discussion--I hope that is okay.
Anyhow, I am super torn between making a second nursery for the new baby or having both boys ultimately share a room. STMs: What are you planning and why? FTMs: Anyone share a room growing up? Thoughts on the experience?
If we share a room I will not make a second nursery. DS2 will sleep with us for ~5-6 months and then we'll set up a crib and chair in our current office and have him sleep in there until we get sleep under control and then move him into DS1's room (which will then be their room.) One advantage of this is saving space. We both work a lot outside the normal working hours and need an office in the house. We have a 4 bedroom house, so them sharing a room would give us a dedicated office and then an extra room that will be a combo playroom/guest bedroom. I have heard that sharing a room can enhance bonding and can even help them sleep better (i.e. if one wakes up and the other is sleeping, the awake kid will take a cue from the sibling and go back to bed. Nice, right!?)
If we do separate rooms, we'll move the office into the fourth bedroom, which will double as a guest bedroom when guests come (It's really called a "bonus room" and it's pretty big, so we can easily do 2 desks/computers/chairs plus a bed in there.) We won't have a playroom, and the play area would be as we have it now--a kind of area in our open-space downstairs. We keep it pretty tidy now, but with two kids, I could see a toy explosion happening in our living area and that might quickly get out of control. I have talked to several people who did separate rooms and they said their kids like having their "own space" to decompress, be alone and for quiet time, which also sounds smart. Both DH and I are on the introverted side and I know I value my alone time, so I suspect my own children might need their own space, too.
So....as you can see, pluses and minuses on each decision.
Thoughts? What are your plans and why?
Me: 38; DH: 41
DS: Born 5-17-16
Re: Separate rooms or sharing?
DS: Born 5-17-16
We didn't have a separate playroom, we just allow play to happen in the living room and their own room and then clean up the toys/mess each night. I have friends who have had play rooms and with more than one kid they get AWAY from them and the playrooms were just giant messes. I'm in no way implying that's the norm, I've just seen some horror stories.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
I've never done babies sleeping in our room (although I have spent plenty a night sleeping in their room with them). When I'm on maternity leave and DH has to work there's no point in us both being up all night. I got it.
I can't imagine putting the LO in with DS at 6m-ish because at 6m-ish the LO will still be waking up a few times a night and DS is a perfect little STTN kid. I will do anything in my power to make sure his sleep is not interrupted.
ETA: we have a separate visitor suite on the other side of the house and a separate playroom. So we aren't losing anything. This room is just kinda hanging out waiting for the baby since we bought the house.
have 4 bedrooms, but they are very small. It would be difficult to have DS’s
twin bed, a crib, and both kids dressers in one room. The other room is an office. Most of the toys are in the main living area, and it does get messy, but we keep some toys out of reach and we
make him put his toys away before getting another, so it doesn’t get too out of control. That said, I don’t expect DS2
to be in his own room for a while.
But I’m thinking MOTN diaper changes, interrupted sleep for both kids.... I would think if you want to do this, keep the new baby in your room for a while before having them share a room.
Our home is like 2.5br, 2ba and it has the absolute shittiest layout ever. We love the location, but if the house burned down tomorrow I don't think we'd shed a tear. Plus being oriented east-west, and situated in the forest, we get almost no direct sunlight in any room but the one southern window in the master bedroom.
- The master bedroom is huge, it's easily more square footage than our kitchen and living room combined. There is more than enough room in there along the opposite wall of our king size bed for a crib and dresser/changing station and a rocker in the corner without having to change any of the normal layout.
- The normal size spare bedroom at the other end of the house gets quite a bit of use from my best friend who is often visiting a few times a month, or probably his mom or sister if they fly in after it's born, so I am loathe to turn it into a complete nursery right away.
- The smaller "bedroom" that could technically be a bedroom is really too small for even a full size bed, dresser, night stand, etc so I've turned it into my office with my desk, gaming PC, 75gal aquarium, craft cabinet for my yarns, etc...but it's right off the living room/front entry and has glass double doors. A crib, dresser/changing station, and rocker would go well in there, and it's already painted a lovely shade of light grey that I like for a nursery...but it has one east facing window and is always dark in there. I'm not sure how much of a natural light cycle babies need or require, and I'm not sure how noise-free a nursery needs to be, if at all.
We've toyed with putting the nursery in our bedroom just for the room it's already got going to waste and for simplicity's sake. But we're both introverts who value our quiet, private space, and we have no intention on co-sleeping or wanting to encourage that kind of dependence (if that's a thing). So I think from Day 1 the baby needs it's own room. Plus, I'm not sure what kind of paternity leave my husband's employer offers, and he's a ridiculously light sleeper already, that I think me having to get up umpteen times a night to feed/change/soothe etc the baby would cut into his sleep for work. On the other hand, he would just rather cram everything into our bedroom because that's his visual mental calculator of what'll fit into the largest Uhaul truck.
So, we're still largely undecided. =/
I struggled with this but not with the baby girl on the way, but with the older two boys. DS2 has to move out of the nursery, so do I move him into the guest bedroom (therefore we have no guest bedroom) or into DS1's very large room to share. Ultimately we decided to give him his own room for now, for a few reasons. DS1 is old enough that he stays up with the lights on reading/playing a bit after we leave, whereas DS2 sleeps in the dark right after we leave (one is 4, the other is 2). We didn't want to disrupt their routines by forcing DS1 to sleep in darkness or keeping DS2 up late. I know they would adjust, and there are PLENTY of people on my other BMB who have had kids share with no issues, even 3 kids sharing a room in some cases. Kids will adapt. For us it just wasn't important enough to have the guest room to deal with the potential sleep disruption issues to get there.
It sounds like you don't really have to decide right away, since baby will be sleeping with you for a while and then in the office until his/her sleep is sorted out. Could you set up that office as baby's room for now and then decide next year how you feel? You could always give them separate rooms to start and then transition them in together when they are older so that it's a special treat to have a big kid room together. I dunno, just brainstorming - it sounds like both your options could work very well!
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
DS's room is a decent size for one kid, but partly because we have an insane amount of books (some from my childhood, some from DH's childhood, and DS's own combined, last I checked we had over 300 for him), there's no open wall except for where DS's crib is. We'll get him a big boy bed, but unless we do a toddler size one, there's no way in hell we'd fit a twin bed and a crib in that room, along with the dresser and bookshelves. Also, DS is a great sleeper now, and I'm not ruining that by sticking a baby in the room who wakes up in the middle of the night. DS didn't sleep through the night until 14 months, so it's just not sounding like a good idea to me. DH, on the other hand, sees nothing wrong with it, but I don't think he realizes how much of an issue it could be.
We really need to move by the end of the year, and I need DH to come to that realization soon, because I'd rather move while pregnant than wait until I have 2 kids to watch!
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
I definitely will not have DD sharing a room with the baby because I don't want the baby to interrupt her sleep. If they choose to share a room when they are old enough to ask (which is actually what my brother and I did when we were little), they can, but I'm not going to start that way because we don't have the need.
ETA: RE playroom. We converted our sun room into a playroom (RIP adult sun room space), so we have a dedicated space for this on the first floor, but I can supervise and make sure it's not too much of a disaster.
But my my kids don’t mind. While doing the construction in the basement, all three were in the same room for almost 9 months. They did fine.
I wouldnt put a NB in a room with an older child if I didn’t have to. Babies are on their own schedule and it would just disrupt the other kiddo.
And all all the kids have a downstairs media/playroom which just gives more space for their crap.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
So so if you can wait. I would.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
So, hopefully this fall.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
We only have 3 bedrooms so the guest room now moves to the basement but really the only guests we have are the ILs and most of the time they have their RV with them.
The playroom for us is is in the family room, which may be interesting with 2 kids but I think a lot of DSs stuff will move up to his room at some point so the baby doesn’t get it.
I think baby will be with us for a year at least and so we won’t be making any real changes. I had no intention of cosleeping before I had DS, in fact I was quite against it but now I know better! So I imagine that will happen too.
Then after that, perhaps DS and baby will move into our big room and we will move to the smaller one. Or maybe they’ll both stay in the smaller one. Not sure yet but as we will be a long time with baby I’m not stressing yet. Also we plan to move in about 4 years so it’s not worth getting stressed about just yet!
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
we have a family room that is where DS has his toys (all legos) & where all the boys keep their nerf guns. The new house will have something similar, 2 living areas is a must have for me. Our family, blended with teens and little ones just function smoother with some room for everyone to spread out and do their own thing.
Her bedroom (which until now has been used for storage since we have no garage/shed/basement/attic) still needs a new subfloor and paint. I also want to mount wire shelving in the closet so we can ditch the dresser in there which makes me nervous even though it's anchored. The room is also tiny so any large things we can keep out of there will be awesome. So, the tentative plan is for H to do the subfloor this spring, we'll either replace or deep clean the carpet, and then I get to mount my shelves and paint. We'll probably take her along to "pick" colors but she's still really young to understand. They will eventually end up in bunk beds until we can move out of here!
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Our house also has an unfinished walk-up attic and basement, both of which could be renovated to add one or two more bedrooms, but these are very expensive projects and realistically won’t be in our budget until the kids are both out of daycare. So room-sharing when they’re young and then giving them their own space when they’re school-aged may be an option. I room shared with my sister until we were 10 & 13 but we got our own rooms by the time the teenage angst arrived, so I think it worked out well.
Our master bedroom is large and has plenty of space for DS2 for the short term (we’ll keep him with us for the first 4-6mo at least) so I’ve decided I’m not going to worry about it until we have to. And by then we’ll have a sense of what their temperaments and sleep patterns are so maybe the decision will be obvious. I’m not one to “set up” a nursery anyway so I feel no pressure to hurry the decision. With DS1 we just stuck a pack’n’play in the corner and called it good enough.
Married 5/30/15
TTC #1 June 2015
BFP #1 9/28/15, EDD 6/10/16. DS born 5/23/16!
TTC #2 May 2017
BFP #2 m/c 11/18/17 5w5d
BFP #3 12/17/17 EDD 8/25/18. It's a boy!
In 2009 when we bought our first home we paid little out of pocket, the seller paid majority of the cost because it was a buyers market. This time around houses are more expensive, there is less inventory and we have to pay closing cost. The way we see it is, that we are buying a home that is in our budget and if the market crashes we have enough put away to be protected. There will never be a perfect time to buy. You just have to make the decision on if you are ok with making the purchase and if your finances are in order to do so. You also have to do what is best for your family which may not be what is best for someone else’s family. It is a stressful process though. FYI. Good Luck.
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Anyway, we had DD1 and DD2 in separate rooms until DD2 turned 2ish and then we moved her into DD1's room into her own big girl bed. They pretty much only sleep in there and hang out around the house. We don't have a playroom, just little "pockets" of places where they have toys/art supplies/etc. Maybe like stations? Haha. When baby 3 arrives, he or she will get the empty room. Part of me thinks if the 3rd is a girl we might do a 'bunk room' where they all sleep in the same room eventually. We might do that even if it's a boy - at least for a few years. Could be fun or a terrible experiment
This is for several reasons. DS is 7yo and has always been a great sleeper. I don’t want to mess with that. The baby will likely be in a nursery from the start because DH gets up for work at 4am. I don’t want DH’s alarm to wake up the baby. Also, both bedrooms are too small to fit a twin bed, crib, large dresser, and DS’s toys.