Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breastfeeding Megathread
@DDRRT1982 Thank you, I appreciate that.
@vflux33 like @scoogy19 the older that LO gets, the more successful he is at breastfeeding. I’m still pumping at night and at times throughout the day because sometimes he still just wants the bottle ((he’s tired)) and sometimes I just have too much milk. You sound determined and I think as the babies grow, you’ll find it easier. I hope.
((edit for autocorrect))
@mdfarmchick I hope so too. I’ll revisit when they’re bigger and just keep pumping along now, I guess!
In the meantime I think I've brought my supply up enough to not need any formula-only feedings, which I'm pretty happy about. Still technically supplementing because we need to keep fortifying the breastmilk, but progress is progress!
Apologies if I missed this in an earlier post, but other than massaging and taking hot showers, any good tips on clogged ducts? I only get them on my left side, which is also my poorer producing side. I would love lefty to catch up (also they are getting painful).
1. Try to pump for at least 15 minutes at a time. I usually have another let down around then. Earlier if I am super full.
2. Right before you turn the pump off massage your breast aggressively like you are loosening up the milk (obviously not technically doing that bc it's liquid). Pump again for a few minutes.
3. If you start to feel a knot in your breast aggressively nurse or pump that side. Make it priority when choosing a side.
4. Make sure you are as relaxed as possible when you pump or nurse. I don't have great let downs or release as much milk if I am stressed at the time.
5. Not for clogged ducts, but milk production calories are just as important as water.
https://www.buybamboobies.com/products/boob-ease-soothing-therapy-pillows-1
I used to get clogged ducts horribly with my son. For the really stubborn clogs I would apply moist heat, massage, then get on all fours and either pump or nurse. There were a few occasions that this was the only way I could clear them. Good luck and I hope you keep them at bay, they are the worst
*edited for typo
Busted the paci our despite my efforts to hold off til 2 weeks but once it popped out, useless.
Serenity now.
Emma has been doing a great job with breastfeeding and we’ve officially made it a month!! Yay! However, for the past few days she’s been spitting up quite a bit. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been having trouble burping her (when she does burp they are BIG ones!) or if it’s because of something I’ve eaten that’s upsetting her tummy (it seems to happen after I’ve had some red sauce). Do any of you have experience with either of these while BFing?? She has her check up on Wednesday and I have a LC I can call later in the morning if needed.
Good luck!
@DDRRT1982 oh nooo! I am so sorry. Mastitis is the worst. Hugs.
@mdfarmchick how do I always forget about kellymom?? Lol thank you!
During the day LO is so easy and sleeps and feeds and that's it, but at night? Horror. Fussy, lives on the boob ( seriously 5pm to 1230am last night) my nipples and sanity can't handle it!