March STM Tell All/ AMA- Postnatal Recovery

llamamama14 · March 2018

Postnatal Recovery (Mom's Mental and Physical Health)

Let's talk about how to take care of ourselves in those crazy first few weeks (or honestly months...) As a reminder "Newborn care/sleep" and "Feeding" are topics for upcoming months so we can go into depth on those topics later. The main focus here is taking care of mom.

(I just bring that up because I feel like getting your baby to sleep is a form of self-care for mom!)

Monthly Topic Schedule is in the spoiler.
Related image

December-What to expect in 3rd tri./later in pregnancy

January-1. Med-free/birth center/home birth
-2. C Section/VBAC (Have 2 simultaneous threads because these topics don't include everyone.)

February- As a FTM I wish I had known...

March-Postnatal recovery (mom's physical and mental health)

April-1. breastfeeding/pumping 2. Formula feeding

May- Signs of labor ("How soon after your bloody show did contractions start?" type questions)

June- Newborn care/ sleep

sabby2 · March 2018

Accept help! Take your sitz baths. Don't be afraid to take your baby back, especially if they're crying or it's time to feed them. Sleep when your can. Stay on top of your pain medication (it helps, it's harder to catch up to pain, and you won't get addicted short term).

Make sure to talk to someone if you aren't doing okay. Ppd/ppa can be very scary and irrational. I wish I would have gotten help so much sooner. It took me casually chating with the psych NP I work with about some of the things I would think/experienced after dd to realize how commonly it presents that way and how easy (and bf safe) some medications are for it. I suffered so needlessly and my dh did too because I was scared to talk to someone. I don't have super fond memories of my maternity leave and many of dd's first several months because of it.

May14th2011 · March 2018

Adding to @sabby2, if you feel like you have ppd/ppa, call the Dr asap, don't wait for your 6 week appt. I went in at two weeks with my last. It makes such a difference, don't be afraid to get help.

lisa2589 · March 2018

I see this thread totally got buried this morning!
Physical
• Colace (or other choice of stool softener)
• Keep up with water intake because your body will get busy diuresing (peeing out) the extra fluid you’ve accumulated
• Soothies (gel pads) for nipples
• Take home at least 2 squirt bottles from the hospital to freshen things up down yonder when wiping is just too painful
Mental
• Keep in mind your own personality- If you have hard time “just relaxing” when people are in your house, have a list of simple things they can help you with so you don’t feel the need to entertain them
• Just be aware that the hormones may get worse in the days following birth. Even if you don’t have PPA/PPD, you may still feel very overwhelmed and emotional about everything.

marcus7676 · March 2018

+1 to what @sabby2 said about PPD/PPA. I know I've said it before, but educate yourself and your partner now about some of the signs. I did not enjoy my maternity leave because I was so overwhelmed and sleep-deprived.

- Ask the hospital for "extras" - I was sent home with extra peri bottles, pads, ice packs, undies, dermoblast. I also packed them away every few hours so it looked like I needed more. Then you can keep some in every bathroom in your house.
- Donut pillow. Buy 2.
- Coconut oil works just as well as nipple cream.
- Nipple soothie pads.
- Buy the largest water bottle you can find with a handle and a straw. And fill it all the time.
- Plan to buy healthy snacks before the baby is born. We were not prepared and I was hungry all the time and stuck under the baby. My husband floundered trying to find me food.
- Find out if any LCs are covered by your insurance now. If they are, find their numbers. Call them before it becomes an emergency.
- Sitz baths (the things that go on your toilet) or baths in the tub help with recovery a lot and keep things clean - - peri bottles are good, but they don't clean everything.
- Blot, don't wipe!
- Colace. Start taking some immediately after delivery. The hospital should provide you with some or something similar and ask if they don't.
- Remember to take care of yourself too. It's okay to take a shower to feel more human.
- Breastfeeding is f*ing hard. Trust your instincts if something seems off. Ask for help.
- Don't be afraid of formula (like I was). Fed is best.

ramennoodlegif · March 2018

+1 to everything said above

You can make your own version of Tucks pads using cotton makeup rounds and essential oils. I used lavender, eucalyptus, rosemary, and lemon oils, cut with witch hazel (I think I found the recipe on Pinterest.) They smelled terrific, felt nice and cool, and held up nicely. (Side note: if you develop hemorrhoids, you can put this mixture in a spray bottle and apply as needed. It helps!
Put together a travel restroom kit for the first few weeks to keep in your purse/diaper bag, if you plan on leaving the house. Nothing sucks more than being away from home and realizing you forgot your pads/spray at home and/or getting home and realizing you don't have it handy.
Sleep when you are able. There will be times, most of the time, actually, when you might feel like you should be doing something else. Listen to your body.
Don't feel bad dictating tasks to your SO. IMO, men sometimes tend to assume that you always have your ish together and know exactly what you're doing when it comes to baby. Do not feel the slightest bit bad asking them to change diapers, feed baby, get baby dressed, etc. You should not have to do it all.
Pumping and dumping may not always be necessary. Do your due diligence and research on your own if you plan on drinking while BF, and make your own conclusions. I am not saying it is always okay to nurse after drinking, but I have friends who needlessly dumped milk that was perfectly okay to give to baby (IMO, based on what I read.)

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

Questions:
- I've been seeing a lot of 'pad-sicles' on pinterest lately, anyone hear of these/do it? {I can link to what they are if you ladies don't know what I mean specifically}

- post pardum walking - is it a good idea to do it when you feel good enough or should it be 'wait until a certain time' ? Or is this one of those "depends on the delivery/person" ?

doxiemoxie212 · March 2018

Have any of you tried bidets instead of peri bottles for post partem? Friends of ours have all started installing these, and they love them, but I didn’t see the point until thinking about the peri bottle situation? Thoughts?

Greenco Bidet Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01A17T3N6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_vjxMAb582DK6B

(They spray clean water, not toilet water in case you think the same thing I thought at first lol)

ramennoodlegif · March 2018

@MissKittyDanger Padsicles are PHENOMENAL. They are basically just ice packs that you keep in your underwear. You can buy them on Amazon, but I just made sure to take a bunch from the hospital. Ask for them pretty much anytime someone walks in your room (see @marcus7676's suggestion to stash them so it looks like you're out. You may want to do this with the mesh underwear, too.)
As for post-partum walking, I would ask your doctor. I think it may depend on the person/recovery situation.

jsl82 · March 2018

Agree with everything above... and cannot stress enough that you do not owe it to your visitors to entertain them. Those that are closest with you- parents, BFF, ect also would love to be given tasks to help you. Some people need to be given direction, whereas others will walk into your living room and start tiding up.

In the weeks before your due date stock up on paper plates, cups, plastic forks/knives/spoons, paper towels, toilet paper, ect. We have discussed freezer meals- but you need something to eat these meals with.
When checking out pediatrician offices now- see if they have lists of lactation groups. Even if you do not need a LC they usually run these local groups- and can give you so support. I know there was a group in Princeton that weighed the baby prior to feeding and after- to give you a better idea of how much your baby was eating (a big concern of FTMs since you can't see the amount). Plus you have the support of other local moms.
Diaper cream/ Aquaphor is helpful for mom too- not just baby. I was super irritated from wearing a pad for 6ish weeks- to the point I thought my stitches were infected. Having a little barrier on the skin was needed for me.
Take advantage of the June weather and get outside everyday. Just taking a 5 minute walk will help. I had a winter baby last time, and the sleep deprivation along with lack of sunlight did not help my mental health.
Put your phone away. I was having trouble sleeping when DD was sleeping and so found myself googling all the questions I had instead of sleeping. Just put the phone away- the important questions will still be there after a nap.

MoonOverGoldsboro · March 2018

@doxiemoxie212 I haven’t used a bidet, but my immediate question is, can the water be warm, or is it cold? I much preferred warm water in my peri bottle.

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

@kfren Thank you! I saw how to make them {aloe + witch hazel} but never knew anyone who used them!

Okay stupid question, are the pads that huge or can you actually buy them from a store? {I keep picturing overnight style pads for heavy flow}

doxiemoxie212 · March 2018

@MoonOverGoldsboro I think you can choose the temp depending on what model you get

ramennoodlegif · March 2018

@MissKittyDanger The ones from the hospital go over your pad, and are about the same size.

jsl82 · March 2018

@MissKittyDanger the ice pack pads I got from the hospital (and from Amazon) are the same size as a heavy flow overnight pad- which you will be wearing for most of that first week anyway. The cold does help a bit, but the numbing/ pain spray was the most helpful. I didn't make the pad-cicles I have seen on pintrest- with aloe and tucks pads- but the cool aloe seems like it would be relieving. My bathrooms are in my basement and upper floor of our house- so having these in my freezer wouldn't be as helpful as having all of the stuff in the bathroom ready to go for me. If you are on 1 floor it may be worth it to make a few.

llamamama14 · March 2018

@doxiemoxie212 +1 to warm water being more soothing.

The peri is portable so you can use it in any bathroom or if you're at a friend's house or out at a public restroom.

You can also direct the peri where you want it to go and squeeze hard or gently. Not sure the bidet would aim where you want the rinsing.

I can't think of why the bidet would be any better than a peri though I'm pretty ignorant on bidets never having used one myself!

sabby2 · March 2018

Re: ice packs

My hospital didn't hand out ice packs. Instead and easy trick is to cut open a newborn diaper, fill with ice, and use that as a disposable ice pack. They're absorbant, you have them on hand, and you can throw them away after you're done, and they're just about perfectly sized for the area you want them in.

I also used the heck out of tucks pads and dermoplast (I had lots of tearing and stitches).

I'm planning to buy depends this time around to use with a heavy pad, etc instead or ruining granny panties. I was surprised how little control I had of my bladder at first (it improved but I peed myself several times in the early days)

llamamama14 · March 2018

@MissKittyDangerI started walking pretty soon after delivery with both my C section and my VBAC and credit it with helping my recovery.

l've sometimes heard the "rule" to wait 6 or 4-6 weeks before doing full intensity exercise like running but I don't know how broadly that's followed by OBs. My fit runner friend said was cleared to resume running sooner than that by her doctor.

I would think a lot depends on each woman's personal fitness/activity/health prior to giving birth as well as how complicated the birth was.

Here's an article from ACOG on postnatal exercise: https://m.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Exercise-After-Pregnancy?IsMobileSet=true

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

jsl82 said:

Agree with everything above... and cannot stress enough that you do not owe it to your visitors to entertain them. Those that are closest with you- parents, BFF, ect also would love to be given tasks to help you. Some people need to be given direction, whereas others will walk into your living room and start tiding up.

In the weeks before your due date stock up on paper plates, cups, plastic forks/knives/spoons, paper towels, toilet paper, ect. We have discussed freezer meals- but you need something to eat these meals with.
When checking out pediatrician offices now- see if they have lists of lactation groups. Even if you do not need a LC they usually run these local groups- and can give you so support. I know there was a group in Princeton that weighed the baby prior to feeding and after- to give you a better idea of how much your baby was eating (a big concern of FTMs since you can't see the amount). Plus you have the support of other local moms.
Diaper cream/ Aquaphor is helpful for mom too- not just baby. I was super irritated from wearing a pad for 6ish weeks- to the point I thought my stitches were infected. Having a little barrier on the skin was needed for me.
Take advantage of the June weather and get outside everyday. Just taking a 5 minute walk will help. I had a winter baby last time, and the sleep deprivation along with lack of sunlight did not help my mental health.
Put your phone away. I was having trouble sleeping when DD was sleeping and so found myself googling all the questions I had instead of sleeping. Just put the phone away- the important questions will still be there after a nap.

Bolded. YES!
I've mentioned before I have depression and anxiety, so my dr has said that even sitting outside on a bench is ideal for any woman - even without a predisposition to mental health issues.

We have a patio table in our backyard, so I plan on taking full advantage of that even while pregnant B-)

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

llamamama14 said:

@MissKittyDangerI started walking pretty soon after delivery with both my C section and my VBAC and credit it with helping my recovery.

l've sometimes heard the "rule" to wait 6 or 4-6 weeks before doing full intensity exercise like running but I don't know how broadly that's followed by OBs. My fit runner friend said was cleared to resume running sooner than that by her doctor.

I would think a lot depends on each woman's personal fitness/activity/health prior to giving birth as well as how complicated the birth was.

Here's an article from ACOG on postnatal exercise: https://m.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Exercise-After-Pregnancy?IsMobileSet=true

My original/hopeful plan for walking, is to slowly start moving. If walking around the house is good, then to the mailbox. At least around the house I can pause or sit or grab something if I'm pained.
Mail box isn't that far either, I can see it from my front step.

marcus7676 · March 2018

I couldn’t walk postpartum. I tried and made my bleeding worse. I was actually told not to go up my stairs more then once a day at first. (But, I was the extreme). My H and I walked down the street four days postpartum and I almost died - it was like three houses. You’ll know what you’re capable of.

The ice ice packs are like the size of overnight pads but the pads from the hospital are huge - almost like twice the size. I didn’t use depends but am thinking about it this time.

hjungk84 · March 2018

Most of the tips and tricks I would recommend have already been mentioned so I only have two things to add:

1) my hospital would freeze water in condoms. Wrap them up in paper towel and stick in your undies/between your legs! Very little mess and oh so helpful!

2) I bought depends to use, especially at night. I found it hard to hold my bladder, especially if it was full. I peed myself more than I'd like to admit (I'm talking full on pee, not just dribbling)!

elsie42 · March 2018

Those of you that used depends - did you sick a maxi pad in them too or just use them on their own?

lrichhx05 · March 2018

Just want to reiterate what was said about going outside, do it! DD was a July baby and I am sooo happy for another summer baby. I hate being cooped up in the house and getting outside everyday made life with a newborn so much more bearable.

I honestly never used a peri bottle or anything, but I'm sure if I tore they would be very helpful! My biggest issue was my sore nipples, so finding a cream for that was a must.

Also, random tidbit but my boobs were HUGE right after birth. Like, pornstar huge. But after like 2 weeks they shrunk to a more normal size and none of the nursing bras I bought fit anymore. Just something to keep in mind!

starla487 · March 2018

Lurker chiming in.
My hospital had me "do laps" around the nursing station post-c-section while using a rollable bassinet as a walker. I actually think that helped my recovery more than anything. (Also helped with the constipation, because HELLO!)
I'm having a RCS this time around and have a house with stairs now. (Didn't with my first.) Another mom advised me to set up doubles in the house, both upstairs and down. That way, you aren't trying to climb stairs all dang day. I already felt like walking with a CS recovery made my insides feel like they were going to fall out. I can't imagine it with stairs. So, the goal is to only climb stairs at the end of the day for bedtime. (Or just as little as possible.)

If anyone has a girdle or belly binder recommendation, I'll gladly take it.

hjungk84 · March 2018

@elsie42 I placed a pad in the depends but I only used them at night. They helped me if I leaked through the pad

BurlapandLace · March 2018

I’m just going to leave this here

MissKittyDanger · March 2018

@BurlapandLace Wow .... visuals ... just .... wow.
I kinda got a shell shock last night with a newborn hat.

Husband: oh it's so tiny!
Me: yeh .... well ... *holds near vagina* Not small enough

Husband: Wait ... what

Me: yehhh .... THIS *points to hat and vag* is why I want you waist up entire time

{note: it's not because I think he'll be grossed out or weirded out or whatever - it's me}

murraydog2008 · March 2018

In addition to all the super helpful info up above - Remind yourself that your maternity leave is not just a normal "vacation" from work/life. I totally over did it when my second child was born. I was in my best friends wedding 5 weeks post partum and then we traveled to visit family across the country for 2 weeks. And then we came home and packed up our house and moved .....all of this before I went back to work at a new job 8 weeks post partum. It was hell! I was exhausted both physically and mentally from all of that! In hindsight - I should have said no to nearly all of that. I am taking that wisdom with me into this baby and already practicing my ability to say NO! DH is going to be the one that struggles with it the most because last time I was so willing to do it all, but I'm already setting myself up for success this time and warning him and the older kids that mom is going to spend a lot of time this summer resting. Just know your limits. Speak up when it's too much for you to do!

And I can't emphasize the importance of snacks enough! I was STARVING after the baby was born! I didn't bring any food with me to the hospital and was begging the nurses to bring me more food. I have plans for this time to go in a little more prepared. But that feeling sticks with you for a while.

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