@Mylitta thank you! Yes, that I am not jumping around all giddy and excitedly planning everything 24/7. I do know I am pregnant (at least if everything is still going well) as we saw baby and heartbeat almost 2 weeks ago I thought I would be crying at the u/s and I thought DH would as well and we didn't. I think it was shock lol I am glad to hear you were questioning should we have done this and are we ready up until labor!
@SweetSweetTooth I didn't cry at any of my U/S. I'm not an overly demonstrative emotional person though. And I didn't really 'connect' with DS until he was a day or so old - he had jaundice and seeing him in the lights kind of broke through and just destroyed me. But until then, I knew everything, and I loved him, but out was more of a love you know than a love you feel in your soul - the kind that rips your throat out. Everyone is different. I think I personally just need to know the baby as the person they are. (Don't get me wrong. I did love him throughout. I was terrified constantly of losing him, changed everything in my life for him, but it's not the same. Like thinking of your H when you're little and planning. And then knowing the man he is and how your life would be so much less without him.)
@SweetSweetTooth - I don’t want “a baby.” I’ve never wanted “a baby.” Part of the reason it took me so long to decide to try to get pregnant (I’m 38, I was only TTC for 2 months, but it took me nearly 6 years to decide to try), is that I don’t want “a baby.”
This last round of thinking about whether to do this, I realized that what I want is to raise a person, watch them become someone special and unique, and allow them to become part of my life in a way that no one else could ever be.
There is no one right way to feel about being pregnant, or starting a family for that matter. Also, you can’t sustain an emotion indefinitely. Feed your excitement about having a kid when you tell your friends and family, and in the meantime, take care of yourself. I understand that after our babies are born- we’re going to be so busy taking care of them that we won’t have any time for ourselves.
I am sure I will get flamed for this but Mom guilt already. I want this baby and will love the heck out of it, but I don't feel like I want it as badly as I should. Took us over 5 years to conceive so I should be doing backflips. Ugh I am sure this just stems from hormones and panic of doing every thing right when I know that is impossible.
It’s still so early it probably doesn’t feel real yet. Like the others said, don’t worry too much about how you’re feeling right now. I’m going through a similar thing - I am happy that I’m pregnant, and I definitely want the baby, but I have flashes of “holy shit, what did I just do?” that will probably continue even after he/she is born, haha. I’ll have two kids under 2! Hang in there. Excitement will probably build more as it becomes more real.
I should probably note that when I say that I don’t want “a baby”, I’m not saying that my pregnancy is unwanted. Instead, I am acknowledging that babies grow into children, and children become teenagers, and eventually they become adults. That growth and change is what I am looking forward to.
@SweetSweetTooth this pregnancy was conceived through IVF, and will be baby number 4 and pregnancy 3 (twins). There are days I’m excited, but there are LOT of “WTF have we done” moments as well. I know I will love the stink out of this baby once it’s here, but until then it’s still kind of an abstract concept. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t gaga over babe every minute!
@sweetsweettooth my first pregnancy was unplanned, but wanted. Even so Inwas 22/23 weeks before I accepted I was pregnant and even farther before I got excited. This time it was planned and I’ve wanted to be pregnant for a year, but i still feel blah. The first tri is hard to get excited. You feel crappy and there are too many unknowns.
@SweetSweetTooth girl that is SO NORMAL. This thing in your body is taking over your life real quick and it seems like too much too soon. This is #3 for us and especially since my morning sickness is so horrible, I keep thinking "what have we done?!" Everything is going to be ok!
@SweetSweetTooth It took us years and losses to have my son. I’m never excited when I find out I’m pregnant. I tell myself that I don’t need this baby to be happy and that I’ll be ok if something happens. It’s how I protect myself and keep my stress levels down... I disconnect from the baby. It’s early still and it’s hard to grasp that you’re really pregnant and there’s really a baby coming. I think as things become more real, you’ll find yourself feeling differently towards the baby.
@SweetSweetTooth It took me awhile to conceive DS, and at one point I started to wonder if kids were gonna be in the cards for me.I started to think of all the ways I could enjoy life without kids. This was how I braced myself for the possibility of IF. I thought about all the traveling I could do, and the nice things I’d be able to afford, etc. And then I got KU!
My imaginary vacation home in Barbados vanished and I had to remind myself why I wanted kids in the first place! Every good mother worries if she will be good enough. If you don’t worry, that’s when you SHOULD be worried. And even after your LO is born, it may take some time for you to bond. And that’s ok, and totally normal too. The expectation is that we pg women are glowing and thankful for every vomit and hemorrhoid because it means there’s a baby in there. I think this myth was started by a man.
I’m the same... normally LOVE coffee but past 3 weeks want nothing to do with it! The smell grosses me out. My heartburn is still through the roof. My doc said I can take Zantac or omeprazole, they are both safe... has anyone heard differently? I have found that cold Gatorade helps a lot with the queasiness as do cold grapes and cold cucumber slices!
Thank you all!! I love this community I would tag you all but I will be honest, I am lazy. I love all the responses and the words of wisdom. Thank you thank you thank you. This hormone Rollercoaster sucks the big one! Lol my husband was a champ dealing with me last night and I had to laugh when he kindly said he was looking forward to my parents knowing. I asked if that was because I could emotionally vomit at my mom and he laughed and said yes.
Re: FFFC 2/23
(Don't get me wrong. I did love him throughout. I was terrified constantly of losing him, changed everything in my life for him, but it's not the same. Like thinking of your H when you're little and planning. And then knowing the man he is and how your life would be so much less without him.)
This last round of thinking about whether to do this, I realized that what I want is to raise a person, watch them become someone special and unique, and allow them to become part of my life in a way that no one else could ever be.
There is no one right way to feel about being pregnant, or starting a family for that matter. Also, you can’t sustain an emotion indefinitely. Feed your excitement about having a kid when you tell your friends and family, and in the meantime, take care of yourself. I understand that after our babies are born- we’re going to be so busy taking care of them that we won’t have any time for ourselves.
Also- babies terrify me.
It took me awhile to conceive DS, and at one point I started to wonder if kids were gonna be in the cards for me.I started to think of all the ways I could enjoy life without kids. This was how I braced myself for the possibility of IF. I thought about all the traveling I could do, and the nice things I’d be able to afford, etc. And then I got KU!
My imaginary vacation home in Barbados vanished and I had to remind myself why I wanted kids in the first place!
Every good mother worries if she will be good enough. If you don’t worry, that’s when you SHOULD be worried. And even after your LO is born, it may take some time for you to bond. And that’s ok, and totally normal too. The expectation is that we pg women are glowing and thankful for every vomit and hemorrhoid because it means there’s a baby in there. I think this myth was started by a man.