We announced to family super early but usually wait until pretty close to 12 weeks for an announcement on social media and will do the same with this one.
For our second we announced with a picture of my first in a super hero cape and chalk board behind him that had "Every super hero needs a side kick" written on it. I'm still trying to think of something creative for this one!
Is it stupid that I’m worrying about announcing at week 12 vs 14? Since technically you’re out of the first trimester at/after 14 weeks? I think I’m just creating things to worry about.
@embri12 not stupid at all.. Just do it when you feel comfortable telling.. Some of my friends never put it on social media.. I plan on telling at 11 1/2 weeks, Valentine's Day.
Is it stupid that I’m worrying about announcing at week 12 vs 14? Since technically you’re out of the first trimester at/after 14 weeks? I think I’m just creating things to worry about.
I've had friends and family announce anywhere from 6 weeks to 20 weeks. With a few who didn't announce until a couple of days after the baby was born. It's all about you and your comfort level.
We won’t announce on social media since neither of us really has a presence online. Just ordered this so that we can put DS in it and take a pic to send to our family in early March.
My husband is not into sharing personal stuff on Facebook and i dont really need to make a huge announcement for anyone in special there. But if i could have it my way, I'd make a post on April Fools and see everyone freak out lol. In all seriousness, i plan on just making a scrapbook for just us. I love seeing everyone's cute ideas!
@srachilagani I want to announce on Easter which is April fools this year. But I don't want everyone to think it's a joke (and seem insensitive to friends who have suffered losses) so I'm a bit torn on the idea.
@prpl11butterfly I was also thinking Easter until I realized it was April Fool's. I think anyone that knows me would know I'm not into April Fools enough to do something like that, but I'm still torn.
I still haven't decided when or how to announce. We told family after 8 week appointment, and I ended up telling my boss and team last week (10 weeks) bc I couldn't put that off any longer. I originally had all these clever, Pinterest-y ideas for social media (many funny and involving our cats). I'm very active on social media, especially since I live far from family and most friends, so I felt like my announcement had to be like, the most clever, creative thing the world had ever seen. Now I'm thinking I just want to wait as long as possible and post a simple picture of us in a beautiful place - there's a giant rose garden nearby that will be in bloom soon, maybe there. It's possible that I'm overthinking this lol. ETA everyone we've told knows that it is still a "secret".
My 2 cents is do not announce on April fools. It never goes over well with people who have losses. If you want to do an Easter themed announcement do it the day before or after.
@yosemite2018 I completely agree.... I remember last year when we were trying so hard to conceive. There were like 4 women on FB that announced their pregnancy at that time... and only 1 actually was. The others were just joking. It hurt me so bad that there are actually people that would make a joke about something that serious. ugh.
Announcing a fake pregnancy on April Fool's is like, ...actually insane, to me. JS
I feel the same way. Why would anyone do this? It's not funny at all.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
I totally agree. It's appalling and those posts are so hurtful to people who are struggling for whatever reason.
This may be a good time to say that if you have people in your life who may be struggling with infertility or loss -- and remember most people aren't "out" about their struggles -- you may want to take that into account for your social media announcement. For instance, I was always happy for people who announced their pregnancies, but when people added things like "We got pregnant our first month" or "Pulled the goalie one time and here we are" -- that HURTS. Also, it isn't necessary. Would you normally announce unprotected sex online? No? Then you don't need to mention it here. Just talk about the pregnancy!
@adirat wow, I've never seen any pregnancy announcements like that. That seems insanely tacky. Why would someone think anyone wants to know that much about their sex life??
I have a friend whose husband posts a fake pregnancy announcement almost every April 1. Last year I was really tempted to say something, but I decided to let it go.
@nackie Haha yes, it is SO tacky. This has happened twice with my husband's distant relatives. The first one was when we had just started ttc, and my reaction was "oh my gosh who would post that on facebook?!?!?!" Then the second one was another year later (the goalie one) and it was like a dagger in my heart.
The April Fools post would bother me, too Could you mention to her that it's in poor taste rather than raise it with him?
I can't understand why people would post a fake pregnancy either. It's wrong. And to post any details about the how....so uncomfortable. I mean, I'm pretty open and if anyone asked how long it took I would tell them (not publicly on FB though). And the goalie joke, tasteless.
I don't know if we will even announce on FB, and if we do it will be much later. I am definitely showing already which is insane to me but I haven't even told all my closest friends yet. I have been slowly telling them as I see them but life has been busy and I haven't been as social as I usually am. Our family has known since 8 weeks though!
Pretty much anyone who sees me now asks some type of leading questions to figure out if I am pregnant so I figure eventually I just won't be able to hide it anymore and then we will put it on social media! My first I could have easily hid it the first 4 months +.
We announced it to our parents at 10.5 weeks by putting DS in a shirt with a bulldozer on it (he loves trucks) that says, “Can you dig it? I’m going to be a big brother!” We aren’t doing a social media reveal though—I have too many friends who are struggling to get pregnant and I don’t want to rub their faces in it. We didn’t do one for DS because a friend of ours had just miscarried. People figured it out when I posted pictures from a summer vacation with DH and I was CLEARLY showing.
That said, so many of your baby announcements are adorable and I would never say someone shouldn’t do one on social media—it’s just my personal thing.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Struggling with how to handle social media. We're fairly active on social media, and I want to announce but because seeing announcements was so hard for me after I had a miscarriage, I struggle with how to best word it to not make anyone else sadder then they already are about their situation. I was not open about the miscarriage with people besides my immediate family and closest friends so of course, I couldn't blame anyone but I definitely want to be sensitive about it for anyone else who might be struggling.
One of my friends posted her announcement and explained how much they had prayed and even mentioned medical intervention, which I loved because it gave me hope since she had finally gotten pregnant. I just don't think I want to be that open with people I'm not so close to when I announce our pregnancy.
Both DD and this one are rainbow babies for me, and social media has no idea. As bittersweet as seeing announcements are, I still enjoy seeing them. It hurts sometimes, but I know it isn’t personal, and each of us has a different journey. The only ones I really struggle with are the early announcements, like “I’m 4.5 week!”.... I just cringe and hope for the best for their sake. And the fake-outs, those drive me nuts.
We do have friends we know are actively trying after a loss, and we will talk w them personally before posting on fb. Since we’ve been in their shoes my hope is we can encourage them that their turn will come.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
Don’t have social media (besides TB), but finally announcing to our parents today. Got DS a onesie that has a little dinosaur next to an egg that says “I’m going to be a big brother!” It’s especially fun since his 1st birthday party next month is dinosaur-themed. I will be telling a select few people at work tomorrow (12 weeks), and then slowly tell more people as I start to show so it doesn’t get awkward. We have told a few out of town friends by text as well.
*TW I’m still terrified every day of loss and that fear is more real when more people know. The tally of who I would have to “untell” is always running in my head. My heart is so warmed by those of you being super sensitive to folks with history of loss or IF. My retreat from social media was sparked by my first loss (and other reasons), and though I don’t have to worry about that route, I do have a dear friend in the trenches of IVF (currently in egg-growing phase) that I’m hoping to tell in the most sensitive way. We also have friends who just sustained a second early loss yesterday and I’m not sure at all about when it will be ok to tell them. This part sucks.
Most of our family/friends are on SM so that’s really one big way of getting it out of the way without forgetting anyone.
My biggest problem is we do have friends that have had a 2nd Tri loss (whom we are close to) and another who’s adoption fell through (not as close). How would you go about announcing to those who’ve dealt with late losses? I’ve had an early 1st tri loss and while it hurt to see pregnancy announcements, I don’t know how to go about telling our friends.
BTW not saying 2nd tri losses are worse than 1st tri. All losses hurt.
@megnwingate I think though it sounds cold, email or text is the way to go. That way, they can process the news without you as an audience. They can break down if needed and aren’t pressured to put on a poker face and “be strong.” I would lead off with some sort of statement about how you are thinking of them and their situation, but that you didn’t want them hearing from anyone but you or in a roundabout way.
@megnwingate like what wishedilivedinflorida said, I texted one of my best friends who has been TTC for almost 3 years and has also had a MC with IVF to let her know. FWIW, I didn't have many other options with her since she lives across the country from me. But I feel like a text or email is the way to go so they can process on their own timeline.
Also, as far as social media goes, I think if there's anyone you know has been effected by IF or has had losses, to give them a heads up can be appreciated. But I'm also guessing that everyone knows a lot more people than they realize who has dealt with loss and they can choose to breeze by a post like that if they don't want to see it.
We'll probably announce to the world around 13 weeks. I have another ultrasound at 12 weeks and I should have my prenatal testing back by then. And for the record, "announce to the world" means that we'll tell my older daughters (ages 6 and 4), because I'm sure they'll tell more people than my 1000 Facebook friends. Last time they were 4 and 2 and everywhere we went they couldn't help but share "my mom is having a baby!"
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
We will share on social media after 1st trimester is officially over. I'm 12+1 today, and we have our NT scan and a regular OB appointment later this week. We're going on a trip next week and will probably incorporate that into the announcement.
We announce on social media because there are a lot of people in our lives that "should" know I'm pregnant, and it's the simplest way to make sure everyone is aware.
We've had losses, and while we haven't been super open about it all it's not a secret in any way either. When we announced last time, I said something about the storms we'd been through. I haven't decided how to word things this time, but I may just say that we're having another rainbow baby. Not everyone knows what that means, but they can look it up or ask if they want.
I know we have friends and acquaintances who have struggled or are struggling, and I know we don't even know who they all are. It's not something you can just "breeze by" but it's a risk you choose to take if you stay active on social media. That goes for anyone with any sort of loss or painful situation.
There's always a chance that it's going to hurt someone. I try to be clear that we don't take this for granted or take it lightly, but I can't make it so that the news absolutely won't hurt anyone. But it doesn't have to be painful because of the way I said it. Just a side effect of the painful side of life, which we can't avoid or change. And I'm very mindful of that.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
@treeofcheem I didn't mean to be offensive when I said that people who don't want to see can just breeze by a post on social media, certainly it's not that easy to do. I guess I more so meant if you were able to give someone a heads up that you'd be posting something that might be upsetting to them, they can scroll by your name once they see it, unfollow your posts, etc. I can appreciate being sensitive to others regarding loss and infertility, but to what extent are we responsible for someone else's reaction to a picture or post about pregnancy without knowing an issue exists?
Maybe I'll get severely flamed for this and maybe I'll deserve that, but I just don't think we have that much control over what others think/feel about us and no matter how sensitively you word a post about pregnancy someone can have a negative reaction. I'm not saying don't try at all, just that we aren't going to be able to please everyone. Really and truly don't mean this offensively, but call me out or message me privately if you wish.
@nlc8424 No, I agree with you! The wording of "breeze by" kind of made me stop, but I wasn't exactly offended by it. Just wanted to expand on how I felt about it, I guess. I didn't want to call you out, I felt like we were mostly on the same page. And I misinterpreted it a bit; I wasn't thinking about it in combination of having let them know ahead of time - it would be much easier to just scroll past in that case. I've definitely done that, I scroll right on by posts from people or unfollow them for a while when I know that what they're posting is going to sting, although they aren't doing anything at all wrong or offensive.
I completely agree that we can't be responsible for other people's reactions, especially when we don't know their situation. It's a fine line to walk, because anyone can definitely word things poorly - and they're responsible for that. But we can spend a ton of time and energy and effort to not bother others, and you're probably going to fail anyways. So be aware of how people might take your announcement, but yes, you can't control other people's reactions and emotions so don't feel like you need to try to do that.
2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
@treeofcheem ah ok, I think I misinterpreted your response as well! As someone who has walked on egg shells around my mom my whole life trying not to offend her, I just realize that people can take anything and everything personally and it's sometimes more effort than it's worth to be that careful with what you say.
We haven’t decided *when* we will announce (we haven’t told anyone IRL yet), but plan to post with a travel theme on social media and will likely tell our families with a FaceTime “house tour” featuring the baby’s room since we recently completed major house renovations and they haven’t seen them.
Question for everyone: Does anyone have a family member that is an over sharer on social media/doesn't have appropriate boundaries on fb? I'm worried that my ILs, despite us asking for them not to share on social media..."
My MIL posted on FB before I even told my own parents. Grrrr.... for that reason mainly, i have not been as excited as I thought I would to share an announcement on social media. I'm thinking around 5-6 months and only after we know the sex, I might post something quick. Otherwise I'm just feeling like the announcement will come when the baby has been born lol
I love the April Fools idea... I wasn't planning on doing anything special to announce on social media but I might have to steal that one! Edit: I didn't read the other comments regarding possibly offending someone whose had a loss. I didn't think about that before and that's a good point to consider when deciding whether to post it April Fools. I agree that actual April Fools pregnancy jokes are stupid. Part of me wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by announcing that day and making a joke about it, but another part of me also feels like the important people in my life already know I'm pregnant, including a relative who had a 2nd trimester loss, so who cares if someone I haven't spoken to in years doesn't like it??
@treeofcheem I know some people with losses may feel sad when they see a pregnancy announcement, but I also feel like posting about how you’re having another rainbow baby might give them hope. Some of our good friends have been trying for over a year (since I was 8 months pregnant with DD) and had a mc, and I was so worried about telling them I was pregnant again, but the husband was sooo excited for us! Turns out the next week his wife got her BFP and she is due in October. Knowing we’ve both had losses and are both pregnant together now is giving them a little extra support, which in turn makes me so happy.
Re: Announcing on Social Media
For our second we announced with a picture of my first in a super hero cape and chalk board behind him that had "Every super hero needs a side kick" written on it. I'm still trying to think of something creative for this one!
I've had friends and family announce anywhere from 6 weeks to 20 weeks. With a few who didn't announce until a couple of days after the baby was born. It's all about you and your comfort level.
@SkilledSailor Saturday is a good option, we may do that (providing DH can contain his excitement enough).
ETA everyone we've told knows that it is still a "secret".
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
This may be a good time to say that if you have people in your life who may be struggling with infertility or loss -- and remember most people aren't "out" about their struggles -- you may want to take that into account for your social media announcement. For instance, I was always happy for people who announced their pregnancies, but when people added things like "We got pregnant our first month" or "Pulled the goalie one time and here we are" -- that HURTS. Also, it isn't necessary. Would you normally announce unprotected sex online? No? Then you don't need to mention it here. Just talk about the pregnancy!
I have a friend whose husband posts a fake pregnancy announcement almost every April 1. Last year I was really tempted to say something, but I decided to let it go.
The April Fools post would bother me, too
Pretty much anyone who sees me now asks some type of leading questions to figure out if I am pregnant so I figure eventually I just won't be able to hide it anymore and then we will put it on social media! My first I could have easily hid it the first 4 months +.
That said, so many of your baby announcements are adorable and I would never say someone shouldn’t do one on social media—it’s just my personal thing.
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
One of my friends posted her announcement and explained how much they had prayed and even mentioned medical intervention, which I loved because it gave me hope since she had finally gotten pregnant. I just don't think I want to be that open with people I'm not so close to when I announce our pregnancy.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
*TW
I’m still terrified every day of loss and that fear is more real when more people know. The tally of who I would have to “untell” is always running in my head. My heart is so warmed by those
of you being super sensitive to folks with history of loss or IF. My retreat from social media was sparked by my first loss (and other reasons), and though I don’t have to worry about that route, I do have a dear friend in the trenches of IVF (currently in egg-growing phase) that I’m hoping to tell in the most sensitive way. We also have friends who just sustained a second early loss yesterday and I’m not sure at all about when it will be ok to tell them. This part sucks.
My biggest problem is we do have friends that have had a 2nd Tri loss (whom we are close to) and another who’s adoption fell through (not as close). How would you go about announcing to those who’ve dealt with late losses? I’ve had an early 1st tri loss and while it hurt to see pregnancy announcements, I don’t know how to go about telling our friends.
BTW not saying 2nd tri losses are worse than 1st tri. All losses hurt.
BFP#1: 11/15/2010 * Missed M/C 12/28 * D&C 12/29/2010
BFP#5 12/26/2017 *SURPRISE* Due 09/02/2018
Also, as far as social media goes, I think if there's anyone you know has been effected by IF or has had losses, to give them a heads up can be appreciated. But I'm also guessing that everyone knows a lot more people than they realize who has dealt with loss and they can choose to breeze by a post like that if they don't want to see it.
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
We announce on social media because there are a lot of people in our lives that "should" know I'm pregnant, and it's the simplest way to make sure everyone is aware.
We've had losses, and while we haven't been super open about it all it's not a secret in any way either. When we announced last time, I said something about the storms we'd been through. I haven't decided how to word things this time, but I may just say that we're having another rainbow baby. Not everyone knows what that means, but they can look it up or ask if they want.
I know we have friends and acquaintances who have struggled or are struggling, and I know we don't even know who they all are. It's not something you can just "breeze by" but it's a risk you choose to take if you stay active on social media. That goes for anyone with any sort of loss or painful situation.
There's always a chance that it's going to hurt someone. I try to be clear that we don't take this for granted or take it lightly, but I can't make it so that the news absolutely won't hurt anyone. But it doesn't have to be painful because of the way I said it. Just a side effect of the painful side of life, which we can't avoid or change. And I'm very mindful of that.
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
Maybe I'll get severely flamed for this and maybe I'll deserve that, but I just don't think we have that much control over what others think/feel about us and no matter how sensitively you word a post about pregnancy someone can have a negative reaction. I'm not saying don't try at all, just that we aren't going to be able to please everyone. Really and truly don't mean this offensively, but call me out or message me privately if you wish.
I completely agree that we can't be responsible for other people's reactions, especially when we don't know their situation. It's a fine line to walk, because anyone can definitely word things poorly - and they're responsible for that. But we can spend a ton of time and energy and effort to not bother others, and you're probably going to fail anyways. So be aware of how people might take your announcement, but yes, you can't control other people's reactions and emotions so don't feel like you need to try to do that.
Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
ETA words for clarity.