TTC after loss - need some advice and experience

knottie6635aa91170e2e18 · January 2018

Hi everyone,
My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I was supposed to be 12 weeks along on the 9th of January.
I'm devastated but I'm healing.
My husband and I would like to try to conceive as soon as possible. The doctor has advised us to wait until after 1 natural cycle.
Has anyone helpful advice and/or experiences that they can share?

offtoneverland · January 2018

@knottie6635aa91170e2e18 I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to be advised to wait to TTC and it's such a struggle to try to switch off the TTC brain. Personally, I'm of the opinion that "doctors know best" so when my doctor advised that we wait a cycle after my 2nd CP, we took the month off. I also think it can be healing mentally, emotionally, and physically to have a cycle off to just try to get back on track with life. In addition to that, if you were to get pregnant right away, it may make you a bit nervous about what might happen since your doctor had advised you to wait. All that said, I realize that everyone is different, so you should make whatever decision you are most comfortable with. It can be very difficult to be on the bench, but it can also be hard to jump right back into TTC again. Good luck to you and I hope you are able to heal and recover after your loss.

vlagrl29 · January 2018

After my CP I had no desire to ttc for the month following. Just too devastated and sad. I'm sorry for your loss.

dragonfly87-2 · January 2018

Sorry for your loss. The cycle after my CP I felt very anxious and desperate to jump back in. It wasnt a great choice because I wasnt emotionally prepared. We tried that cycle and I was an emotional mess when I got bfns.

I also worried relentlessly about my 1 day periods that happened for the next 4 cycles. Looking back, I should have taken at least one or two cycles off.

All that to say, make sure you take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Wait to ttc again until you are truly healed and ready.

tosh24 · January 2018

I'm sorry for your loss. My first loss was father along and I required a D&C so I had to wait, but my second loss was at about 5-6 w along and actively miscarrying that pregnancy was just like having a normal period for me. We jumped right back into trying naturally that cycle (my cycle remained regular) and then the cycle after we went back to the RE and continued our medicated IUIs. Emotionally, I find it more difficult to take time off. The feeling that I'm wasting time and opportunity actually causes me more anxiety than jumping back into TTC. As long as there is no medical reason to wait, then there's no problem TTC again if you are feeling ready.

zamoraspin · January 2018

OP, consider please changing your username so that we can more easily get to know you.

I am so sorry for your loss. Because your loss is so late in the first tri, I would recommend waiting just that one cycle your dr has recommended. I would worry your body will be depleted initially (I remember feeling exhausted after my loss at 8w). I have tried again right away after earlier losses but that first cycle is often kind of strange. Ultimately it's up to you, of course. Good luck, I hope you are able to get ku again with your take home baby soon.

Kath525 · January 2018

I'm sorry for your loss. My only advice is to take care of yourself. This isn't an easy journey. Welcome, I hope your stay here is short.

tosh24 · January 2018

OP, I must have gapped and thought you had a CP, not a late 1st tri loss. I would recommend waiting the one cycle. Your body definitely needs to heal. Also, I would want to make sure my hcg was going back down appropriately to ensure there was no retained tissue or any other issues prior to trying again and potentially setting myself up for another loss.

lin0442 · January 2018

Yes, OP, I understand wanting to try again but please give your mind and body a chance to heal. My loss was late 12wks, and my dr recommended I wait two cycles to let my body recover. It’s devastating, but please give yourself some space. I’m so sorry for your loss.

ccvslp · January 2018

Hi there, so sorry for your loss. I would agree with the ladies on waiting a cycle.... I'm not a medical professional but I do know that your body will take its own time and go through a lot of hormonal fluctuations as things drop again and I remember trying to track O that first month and then being so confused about what my body was doing... it added a lot of stress that I didn't need at the moment. We were then put on the bench until this month for a procedure and I'm actually benching myself (never thought I'd do that...) in lieu of recent results while we wait to talk to a specialist. I guess just recognized that your mind may change back and forth throughout the process, and that is OKAY. So do what ultimately feels right at the time, even if that’s different month to month.

kristen8164 · February 2018

I'm in the same boat. Have you had your first AF yet? Did you have a D&C or a natural miscarriage?

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