have felt kind of allergic to the idea of writing out a birth plan, I dunno why, but I can see that it would be helpful. My plan so far is kind of just, like, "let me do it the way my body wants to, with my husband's help, unless mine or baby's life is legit endangered!"
ETA: speaking of crowning, lol, did you guys find that your doc/MW instructed you to stop pushing for a few once baby was crowning? the bradley book emphasizes this as a crucial opportunity to prevent tearing.
@orbmaker I know I was instructed in my first two to slow down but my memory is really foggy on those... but with my last birth, yes, my dr gave me explicit instructions... to stop - and he told me how he wanted me to push - and believe me i followed everything he told me - small grunting pushes, slow and steady, now stop, relax, etc... I still tore, and I have torn in all of my pregnancies, but nothing severe that I haven't healed from.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@orbmaker I didn’t push for a second? when he was crowning and my dr held his head with some counter pressure to help me not to tear. Honestly everyone in the room was saying things like “push push blah blah blah” but I wasn’t listening. At that point I had tuned out everyone and was just going on instinct. That’s the nice thing about no epidural—I could feel everything and just went by instinctively felt right in the moment.
I had my appt with the midwife today and it was awesome. I asked: 1. What's the likelihood you won't be there and I'll have someone else? - zero chance 2. How many people in the room/can I limit that? - "You'll be assigned a nurse and me. Look, I like a calm environment with low lights, no commotion... and I'm not the kind of person who's going to push pain meds on you. If you think you want them, you'll have to bring it up."
My story is looonnnggg. This is how I wrote it out for myself after it happened and I’m leaving boring details because when I was prepping, I craved every tiny detail of others’ stories: I was a week overdue on a Tuesday morning (March 11), when I woke up to pee at 2:30, I noticed that my cramping had a little “bite” to it. That was how my real contractions started last time. I went back to sleep and when we woke up for a morning prayer call with some friends around 7, the cramping was still around and still had that “bite” to them. I told DH at that point that they felt a little more intense than they had in the past. So I got ready for the day instead of going back to sleep. MIL had been set up to come play with DD since I had another NST scheduled at 11. The contractions had kept intensifying to the point where I’d laugh about it, but they hurt a little bit. A little later that morning, the contractions were still tolerable but not backing down and they’d been averaging every 3 to 5 minutes. I had also called the doctor’s office that morning and requested they check my progress while I was there since my contractions were so regular and felt different than before. When I checked in, a nurse came out and told me that there would be a wait of around 30-45 minutes for the NST and asked if I’d be okay waiting (they were going through a renovation so some of the rooms weren’t available). I asked her if I could be checked first while I was waiting since I was having regular contractions. She was young and new and asked how regular the contractions were. When I told her 3-4 minutes, she looked a little nervous and said she’d check with someone else to see what she should do. When she came back, she said that they’d make a room work for the exam and they’d just check me first to see if the NST would be necessary. A nurse that usually worked at the hospital was there to check me and I was a 4-5cm dilation (I think) and she said that his head wasn’t all that far up there. She gave me a few options. One – I could go to the hospital right then and labor there. Two – I could go home, get some lunch, labor there for a while, and then head in. Three – I guess this wasn’t a separate option, but an ultimatum – she said that no matter what, I needed to be going in to the hospital by that evening. So I chose to go home, have lunch, and labor there for a while longer. I told DH to come home for lunch and be ready to stay home with me. I also went for a walk after I ate lunch to try to keep things going (even though things were getting more intense, I was so nervous about contractions stalling out). It had been an awful, cold winter, and it never seemed to end. This day was gorgeous and maybe in the low 60’s, so the walk was so refreshing. During that time, the contractions started getting to the point where I wasn’t sure I could keep walking through them. I got back to the garage and leaned on the car for one of them and decided that was enough of the walking. DH got home around 12:30 for lunch. By then I had taken to laboring in the bedroom so I didn’t draw attention to myself or end up having to hold or wrestle with DD during a contraction. I had started trying out the exercise ball by resting my upper body on it during a contraction and rocking from side to side. I couldn’t stand through the contractions anymore – I had to lean on a counter, get on my hands and knees, or rock on the ball. I heard DH continue to talk (still in his suit) to his mom in the kitchen so I sent him a text at 1:27 telling him “These are getting tough.” My mistake – that wasn’t pointed enough so he kept talking. Around 10 minutes later, I sent another text that said, “Please make sure you’re packed. These are getting serious. I’ll need help.” He talked a little more and I came out of the bedroom between contractions and told him he needed to pick up the pace for real. I also started to try to figure out what to do from there and how long to stay at home. He asked if he should call my mom (she was going to be an extra support and coach) and I said yes. He also asked if she should come to the house or meet us at the hospital and I said I wasn’t sure and maybe my mom could help us decide – I overheard him on the phone tell my mom that I was getting to the stage where I couldn’t make decisions. I remember thinking that was a bit dramatic and I didn’t want my mom thinking I was further along than I was with a statement like that. As we were waiting for my mom, I asked DH if I should try to take a shower or a bath or something for relief while we waited to figure out what we were doing or just leave for the hospital once my mom got to our house. At that point, I was rocking in the chair and that seemed to help me ground myself for the contractions and it seemed to spread out the contractions just a bit (being on my feet kept them coming quickly). He asked me what I wanted to do and I remember feeling panicky that if water would help my pain relief, I wanted to use it, but I was in enough pain that I wasn’t sure I had time to do those things. So I asked him what he thought we should do and he said, “I think we should go to the hospital.” So I agreed with him and immediately started getting impatient that my mom wasn’t at our house yet (30 minutes or less had probably passed since he told her to come, but it felt like forever). I told him maybe we should just call her and tell her to meet us at the hospital. He told me she would be at the house any minute and it would be okay. When she arrived, I finished a contraction in the glider and we headed to the car. I couldn’t quite make it to the car and had to lean on the hood to get through another contraction. The drive was only 10 minutes but not fun. I was so excited to get a room with a tub to labor in and things sped up so much I never did get to find out if that provided relief. We checked in at 2:30pm. I had to be monitored for 20 minutes first and I requested a rocking chair to sit in during this time. It ended up being the best place to labor for me anyway. I loved rocking through the contractions. Contractions were getting tough at this point (and I was irritated that they hadn’t checked my dilation yet) and I had to squeeze at least one hand during each contraction or I started to feel out of control. I also found that closing my eyes and focusing on breathing was good for me. At some point, the nurse started instructing me to do the “hee-hee-hee-hoo” breathing to help me slow my breathing and regain control of it. Then my mom took over helping me with it and I remember that being a wake-up call for me and thinking, “Wow, I’m to that point?” While laboring in the rocking chair, the “hee-hee-hee-hoo” breathing didn’t seem to be working for me and all of a sudden, I tried low moaning through one and that felt more right to me. My mom asked me what felt different about that contraction and why I switched to the moan. I don’t remember what my response was. Once the monitoring was done, they checked my dilation and I was 5-6 centimeters. I remember being too distracted by the contractions to decide if I was happy about that progress or not. While I was on the bed, I started shaking uncontrollably and I remember saying I thought I might be a little cold. But then I asked them if it seemed like a bit much for just being cold and mentioned lightly that maybe I was in transition, but fully expecting it was too early for that. I mentioned that I might need to go to the bathroom (I started off thinking just pee), so they unhooked me and said I could move around as I pleased to labor. During this entire process, I kept asking if we could get the tub started. They kept saying yes but the nurse was still working on all the admittance information and questions while I was working through contractions. I kept having back to back contractions as well, which slowed her down getting my information. So I got up, went pee, and then said I felt like I might have to poop but I was afraid of having a contraction on the toilet because it seemed like that would hurt much more there. I told my mom and DH that I didn’t want to stay on the toilet and they said it was okay if I needed to poop – no big deal. I remember thinking it was crazy that some women liked to labor on the toilet. So I waited to see if I needed to poop and a contraction hit me. That contraction was completely different and my body started to push – HARD! It had decided to shove this kid out. It was very powerful and I was immediately panicked. I started yelling, “My body is pushing!!” I was terrified because I had just been told that I was at 6 cm at the most and I had read in all my books that if you push too early, your cervix can swell and then there’s no chance to get the baby out. My body was in the driver’s seat and I couldn’t stop it at all. I kept asking DH and my mom if the nurse knew my body was pushing and what should I do. The nurse yelled from the room that she heard me and it was okay – my body could do that. She told me I just couldn’t push with it yet and it’d be okay. I remember being so reassured by that since I’d heard so many stories of women being told to breathe through it and not push. I thought I had to stop my body, which was impossible. After that one contraction, DH and my mom got me back on the bed because that contraction was so strong that I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else while I braced myself. I got on my back and just held on for dear life through each contraction. My entire body would shudder and shake and I needed to have someone’s hand in each of my hands to squeeze. If I didn’t have a hand in each of my hands, I’d panic through the contraction. My body pushed with such force and power that I can only describe it as me just holding on and bracing myself while it did what it wanted. I hated these contractions – I felt out of control and overwhelmed with the hard work my body was doing whether I liked it or not. It was incredibly intense. After that fact, I think it’s pretty cool how powerful my body is all on its own. At this point, my mom was still trying to fight to help me get in the tub, not knowing if we had long to go or not – she asked if DH could start the water and the nurse said that would be fine. I couldn’t imagine how water could help me feel better but I sure wanted to try to relieve any of the pain and discomfort. The nurse checked my progress while I was on the bed and said, “No wonder you’re feeling so much pressure! You’re complete!” So I had gone from a 6 to complete in an hour and a half or less. During these pushing contractions on the bed, I also remember saying I didn’t want to do it anymore. I’d had enough of the pain and pressure. I knew subconsciously that it was too late to get any help, which is why I didn’t even phrase it as asking for relief – I just had to say how I felt. At this point, another nurse came in and asked Nicole(current nurse) what kind of equipment she should bring in and DH remembers Nicole saying, “All of it” – as in the bassinet, the delivery gear, this was getting serious. She also asked that someone get the doctor in right away. I had those pushing contractions for under a half hour before the doctor arrived. When she arrived, she checked me and said I just had a little lip in the way and helped pull it as I had the next contraction (I think). My water still hadn’t broken at this point. The doctor let it stay intact while I worked the lip out of the way. Then she saw it was bulging and knew it was going to break on the next contraction, so she warned people to stand back. It was an explosion of water! I felt the warm liquid hit my right calf and I’m sure several people were hit. DH is proud of himself for standing way back when she said that, so he stayed dry. Then it was time to push and my body shook and shuddered as I tried to work with it and bear down. It was just plain hard work. I will say that I felt no contractions at this point. I’d moved onto pressure and intensity and I’m not even sure how to explain the discomfort. I’d still say I disliked this part more than the contractions, so it must have still been pain of some sort. I pushed for about a half hour before DS entered the world. For the last couple of pushes, doc had them lay me down a bit flatter so I wasn’t sitting up and pushing into the bed too much. That helped a lot and then he started to crown. It really is a ring of fire. It was so hard to keep pushing through that pain and to know that pushing meant I was doing damage down there. I remember saying I didn’t want to tear and all the doc said was, “I know” with a very sympathetic tone. Haha – way to reassure me that I wasn’t! I kept wondering if I should take it easy on the pushing to help myself stretch, but everyone kept telling me to push more and harder, so I trusted their judgment at that point. When his head finally came out, it was a wild feeling of relief and then I felt the doctor help pull his shoulders out. They placed him on my chest right away and I was amazed at how heavy he felt – he was almost a pound heavier than his sister. I also felt the doctor pull the placenta out all at once. I didn’t have to push it out. I was also so happy to realize that I really did feel complete relief from the pressure, pain, and discomfort right away. I was shocked and proud and amazed that I had just done that. I can’t remember if he was crying right away but by the time he was being checked in the little cradle, he had a healthy scream. His breathing was obviously fine because I was able to do skin to skin for at least 10 minutes and then they asked my permission to take him to do all the weighing and measurements in the room. Mom says they worked on stitching me up for quite a while – maybe a half hour or so. I had a second degree tear, but it felt like nothing to me. The stitching process was painful but they used local numbing as well as they could. They had put a heplock in my hand sometime in the chaos and they did use that to give me a little Pitocin afterward to make sure I didn’t bleed too much. James was born at 5:13pm - 7 pounds, 10 ounces and 20.5 inches long. His head was 13 ¾ inches in diameter. As soon as all was said and done, I felt great. I was up and moving and ready to shower. I took Motrin once or twice to relieve pain in my back from my back being out at the end of the pregnancy - obviously pushing a kid out made that worse temporarily. But the rest was a breeze. DS was alert and took to nursing right away, which didn’t happen with DD when I had an epidural.
Reviving this since due dates are getting closer! How are you all doing prepping? My mom is sort of acting as a doula and coach for us so we’ve started bi-weekly get togethers to start planning and practicing breathing techniques and natural pain relief methods. I’m trying to stretch and do squats a bit more often.
Hey a random tidbit my mom reminded me of. If you’re a first time mom, this isn’t quite as big of an issue. If this is your second or more and you don’t have any meds in you, be prepared for the afterpains. I totally forgot about this. This can catch you off guard as you’re holding your baby right after giving birth and then you find you’re having fairly sharp contractions. That’s your uterus contracting back down to size. Just make sure you’ve got a secure hold on your baby in case they catch you off guard.
@StephBrim24 I was just thinking last night that I need to get my excercise ball out so o can start bouncing and helping things open up. I am just scared to get it out as to what my 4 year old will do with it.
@megpeg - that was my exact fear with the exercise ball. And I was right. My 6 and 4 year old fight over it and roll all over it and throw it around. But last night I realized how much my lower back felt better after rolling around on it.
We've been meeting with our doula weekly and learning birthing positions and about the whole process. We learned some exercises to relieve my current hip/pelvic pain so that's awesome. Now DH "sifts" me with the rebozo once or twice a day and uses some pressure points. I have also looked into some hypnobirthing techniques, though I haven't bought the course. Basically, I've been learning some different breathing techniques. *TMI warning: Specifically been practicing this one while pushing with abs and releasing pelvic floor when going No. 2. Even without the breathing, that's how baby's gonna come out! End TMI.
Also yes, the exercise ball! BTW, if you have a 5 Below near you, they have exercise balls for $5. Might be worth it to get your kids their own! haha
@mdfarmchick you must have a huge pain tolerance! Pitocin is no joke. With DS I wanted to go bed free but was induced, half an hour after they started that my toes were curling I was in so much pain.
@mdfarmchick - wow wow wow. I didn’t even know it was possible to go through pitocin contractions and DAYS of labor/induction/drama without an epidural. Color me impressed! Nicely done!
We just finished our hypnobirthing class this Sunday and we've met with our sweet doula twice. 2 more weeks till due date. I'm feeling pretty good and just soaking in this transition time, gettin my mind right.
I feel confident about managing the contractions with the deep relaxation techniques I've learned. Where I get nervous is the actually baby-coming-through my vagina stage. My vagina just doesn't feel great right now, which I especially notice when I do the perineum massage. My vag feels tender and dry... if my finger hurts, pretty sure a watermelon sized human is going to be the apocalypse.
@fatstagnation so happy you are reading about hyponobirthing! "The Bradley Way" also has some good meditation readings for your partner to read to you during birth. I'm printing them all out along with the hypno meidtations for the delivery room. Good luck!
@sarabeth5678 It is time for me to start the perineal massage. Not sure how it's going to feel. But your body will naturally stretch out during birth. You can do it!
I've heard of The Bradley Way, I'll look for some meditations. Thanks!
You ladies are too kind. I don’t recommend pitocin for days with no pain meds but it turns out I’m more afraid of an epidural than I am of pitocin... also, the baby makes it worth it.
Re: Med-Free Support Thread
have felt kind of allergic to the idea of writing out a birth plan, I dunno why, but I can see that it would be helpful. My plan so far is kind of just, like, "let me do it the way my body wants to, with my husband's help, unless mine or baby's life is legit endangered!"
ETA: speaking of crowning, lol, did you guys find that your doc/MW instructed you to stop pushing for a few once baby was crowning? the bradley book emphasizes this as a crucial opportunity to prevent tearing.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I had my appt with the midwife today and it was awesome. I asked:
1. What's the likelihood you won't be there and I'll have someone else? - zero chance
2. How many people in the room/can I limit that? - "You'll be assigned a nurse and me. Look, I like a calm environment with low lights, no commotion... and I'm not the kind of person who's going to push pain meds on you. If you think you want them, you'll have to bring it up."
I was like, OK, we're sympatico, I'm good here.
I was a week overdue on a Tuesday morning (March 11), when I woke up to pee at 2:30, I noticed that my cramping had a little “bite” to it. That was how my real contractions started last time. I went back to sleep and when we woke up for a morning prayer call with some friends around 7, the cramping was still around and still had that “bite” to them. I told DH at that point that they felt a little more intense than they had in the past. So I got ready for the day instead of going back to sleep. MIL had been set up to come play with DD since I had another NST scheduled at 11. The contractions had kept intensifying to the point where I’d laugh about it, but they hurt a little bit. A little later that morning, the contractions were still tolerable but not backing down and they’d been averaging every 3 to 5 minutes. I had also called the doctor’s office that morning and requested they check my progress while I was there since my contractions were so regular and felt different than before. When I checked in, a nurse came out and told me that there would be a wait of around 30-45 minutes for the NST and asked if I’d be okay waiting (they were going through a renovation so some of the rooms weren’t available). I asked her if I could be checked first while I was waiting since I was having regular contractions. She was young and new and asked how regular the contractions were. When I told her 3-4 minutes, she looked a little nervous and said she’d check with someone else to see what she should do. When she came back, she said that they’d make a room work for the exam and they’d just check me first to see if the NST would be necessary. A nurse that usually worked at the hospital was there to check me and I was a 4-5cm dilation (I think) and she said that his head wasn’t all that far up there. She gave me a few options. One – I could go to the hospital right then and labor there. Two – I could go home, get some lunch, labor there for a while, and then head in. Three – I guess this wasn’t a separate option, but an ultimatum – she said that no matter what, I needed to be going in to the hospital by that evening. So I chose to go home, have lunch, and labor there for a while longer. I told DH to come home for lunch and be ready to stay home with me. I also went for a walk after I ate lunch to try to keep things going (even though things were getting more intense, I was so nervous about contractions stalling out). It had been an awful, cold winter, and it never seemed to end. This day was gorgeous and maybe in the low 60’s, so the walk was so refreshing. During that time, the contractions started getting to the point where I wasn’t sure I could keep walking through them. I got back to the garage and leaned on the car for one of them and decided that was enough of the walking. DH got home around 12:30 for lunch. By then I had taken to laboring in the bedroom so I didn’t draw attention to myself or end up having to hold or wrestle with DD during a contraction. I had started trying out the exercise ball by resting my upper body on it during a contraction and rocking from side to side. I couldn’t stand through the contractions anymore – I had to lean on a counter, get on my hands and knees, or rock on the ball. I heard DH continue to talk (still in his suit) to his mom in the kitchen so I sent him a text at 1:27 telling him “These are getting tough.” My mistake – that wasn’t pointed enough so he kept talking. Around 10 minutes later, I sent another text that said, “Please make sure you’re packed. These are getting serious. I’ll need help.” He talked a little more and I came out of the bedroom between contractions and told him he needed to pick up the pace for real. I also started to try to figure out what to do from there and how long to stay at home. He asked if he should call my mom (she was going to be an extra support and coach) and I said yes. He also asked if she should come to the house or meet us at the hospital and I said I wasn’t sure and maybe my mom could help us decide – I overheard him on the phone tell my mom that I was getting to the stage where I couldn’t make decisions. I remember thinking that was a bit dramatic and I didn’t want my mom thinking I was further along than I was with a statement like that. As we were waiting for my mom, I asked DH if I should try to take a shower or a bath or something for relief while we waited to figure out what we were doing or just leave for the hospital once my mom got to our house. At that point, I was rocking in the chair and that seemed to help me ground myself for the contractions and it seemed to spread out the contractions just a bit (being on my feet kept them coming quickly). He asked me what I wanted to do and I remember feeling panicky that if water would help my pain relief, I wanted to use it, but I was in enough pain that I wasn’t sure I had time to do those things. So I asked him what he thought we should do and he said, “I think we should go to the hospital.” So I agreed with him and immediately started getting impatient that my mom wasn’t at our house yet (30 minutes or less had probably passed since he told her to come, but it felt like forever). I told him maybe we should just call her and tell her to meet us at the hospital. He told me she would be at the house any minute and it would be okay. When she arrived, I finished a contraction in the glider and we headed to the car. I couldn’t quite make it to the car and had to lean on the hood to get through another contraction. The drive was only 10 minutes but not fun. I was so excited to get a room with a tub to labor in and things sped up so much I never did get to find out if that provided relief. We checked in at 2:30pm. I had to be monitored for 20 minutes first and I requested a rocking chair to sit in during this time. It ended up being the best place to labor for me anyway. I loved rocking through the contractions. Contractions were getting tough at this point (and I was irritated that they hadn’t checked my dilation yet) and I had to squeeze at least one hand during each contraction or I started to feel out of control. I also found that closing my eyes and focusing on breathing was good for me. At some point, the nurse started instructing me to do the “hee-hee-hee-hoo” breathing to help me slow my breathing and regain control of it. Then my mom took over helping me with it and I remember that being a wake-up call for me and thinking, “Wow, I’m to that point?” While laboring in the rocking chair, the “hee-hee-hee-hoo” breathing didn’t seem to be working for me and all of a sudden, I tried low moaning through one and that felt more right to me. My mom asked me what felt different about that contraction and why I switched to the moan. I don’t remember what my response was. Once the monitoring was done, they checked my dilation and I was 5-6 centimeters. I remember being too distracted by the contractions to decide if I was happy about that progress or not. While I was on the bed, I started shaking uncontrollably and I remember saying I thought I might be a little cold. But then I asked them if it seemed like a bit much for just being cold and mentioned lightly that maybe I was in transition, but fully expecting it was too early for that. I mentioned that I might need to go to the bathroom (I started off thinking just pee), so they unhooked me and said I could move around as I pleased to labor. During this entire process, I kept asking if we could get the tub started. They kept saying yes but the nurse was still working on all the admittance information and questions while I was working through contractions. I kept having back to back contractions as well, which slowed her down getting my information. So I got up, went pee, and then said I felt like I might have to poop but I was afraid of having a contraction on the toilet because it seemed like that would hurt much more there. I told my mom and DH that I didn’t want to stay on the toilet and they said it was okay if I needed to poop – no big deal. I remember thinking it was crazy that some women liked to labor on the toilet. So I waited to see if I needed to poop and a contraction hit me. That contraction was completely different and my body started to push – HARD! It had decided to shove this kid out. It was very powerful and I was immediately panicked. I started yelling, “My body is pushing!!” I was terrified because I had just been told that I was at 6 cm at the most and I had read in all my books that if you push too early, your cervix can swell and then there’s no chance to get the baby out. My body was in the driver’s seat and I couldn’t stop it at all. I kept asking DH and my mom if the nurse knew my body was pushing and what should I do. The nurse yelled from the room that she heard me and it was okay – my body could do that. She told me I just couldn’t push with it yet and it’d be okay. I remember being so reassured by that since I’d heard so many stories of women being told to breathe through it and not push. I thought I had to stop my body, which was impossible. After that one contraction, DH and my mom got me back on the bed because that contraction was so strong that I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else while I braced myself. I got on my back and just held on for dear life through each contraction. My entire body would shudder and shake and I needed to have someone’s hand in each of my hands to squeeze. If I didn’t have a hand in each of my hands, I’d panic through the contraction. My body pushed with such force and power that I can only describe it as me just holding on and bracing myself while it did what it wanted. I hated these contractions – I felt out of control and overwhelmed with the hard work my body was doing whether I liked it or not. It was incredibly intense. After that fact, I think it’s pretty cool how powerful my body is all on its own. At this point, my mom was still trying to fight to help me get in the tub, not knowing if we had long to go or not – she asked if DH could start the water and the nurse said that would be fine. I couldn’t imagine how water could help me feel better but I sure wanted to try to relieve any of the pain and discomfort. The nurse checked my progress while I was on the bed and said, “No wonder you’re feeling so much pressure! You’re complete!” So I had gone from a 6 to complete in an hour and a half or less. During these pushing contractions on the bed, I also remember saying I didn’t want to do it anymore. I’d had enough of the pain and pressure. I knew subconsciously that it was too late to get any help, which is why I didn’t even phrase it as asking for relief – I just had to say how I felt. At this point, another nurse came in and asked Nicole(current nurse) what kind of equipment she should bring in and DH remembers Nicole saying, “All of it” – as in the bassinet, the delivery gear, this was getting serious. She also asked that someone get the doctor in right away. I had those pushing contractions for under a half hour before the doctor arrived. When she arrived, she checked me and said I just had a little lip in the way and helped pull it as I had the next contraction (I think). My water still hadn’t broken at this point. The doctor let it stay intact while I worked the lip out of the way. Then she saw it was bulging and knew it was going to break on the next contraction, so she warned people to stand back. It was an explosion of water! I felt the warm liquid hit my right calf and I’m sure several people were hit. DH is proud of himself for standing way back when she said that, so he stayed dry. Then it was time to push and my body shook and shuddered as I tried to work with it and bear down. It was just plain hard work. I will say that I felt no contractions at this point. I’d moved onto pressure and intensity and I’m not even sure how to explain the discomfort. I’d still say I disliked this part more than the contractions, so it must have still been pain of some sort. I pushed for about a half hour before DS entered the world. For the last couple of pushes, doc had them lay me down a bit flatter so I wasn’t sitting up and pushing into the bed too much. That helped a lot and then he started to crown. It really is a ring of fire. It was so hard to keep pushing through that pain and to know that pushing meant I was doing damage down there. I remember saying I didn’t want to tear and all the doc said was, “I know” with a very sympathetic tone. Haha – way to reassure me that I wasn’t! I kept wondering if I should take it easy on the pushing to help myself stretch, but everyone kept telling me to push more and harder, so I trusted their judgment at that point. When his head finally came out, it was a wild feeling of relief and then I felt the doctor help pull his shoulders out. They placed him on my chest right away and I was amazed at how heavy he felt – he was almost a pound heavier than his sister. I also felt the doctor pull the placenta out all at once. I didn’t have to push it out. I was also so happy to realize that I really did feel complete relief from the pressure, pain, and discomfort right away. I was shocked and proud and amazed that I had just done that. I can’t remember if he was crying right away but by the time he was being checked in the little cradle, he had a healthy scream. His breathing was obviously fine because I was able to do skin to skin for at least 10 minutes and then they asked my permission to take him to do all the weighing and measurements in the room. Mom says they worked on stitching me up for quite a while – maybe a half hour or so. I had a second degree tear, but it felt like nothing to me. The stitching process was painful but they used local numbing as well as they could. They had put a heplock in my hand sometime in the chaos and they did use that to give me a little Pitocin afterward to make sure I didn’t bleed too much. James was born at 5:13pm - 7 pounds, 10 ounces and 20.5 inches long. His head was 13 ¾ inches in diameter.
As soon as all was said and done, I felt great. I was up and moving and ready to shower. I took Motrin once or twice to relieve pain in my back from my back being out at the end of the pregnancy - obviously pushing a kid out made that worse temporarily. But the rest was a breeze. DS was alert and took to nursing right away, which didn’t happen with DD when I had an epidural.
Hey a random tidbit my mom reminded me of. If you’re a first time mom, this isn’t quite as big of an issue. If this is your second or more and you don’t have any meds in you, be prepared for the afterpains. I totally forgot about this. This can catch you off guard as you’re holding your baby right after giving birth and then you find you’re having fairly sharp contractions. That’s your uterus contracting back down to size. Just make sure you’ve got a secure hold on your baby in case they catch you off guard.
We learned some exercises to relieve my current hip/pelvic pain so that's awesome. Now DH "sifts" me with the rebozo once or twice a day and uses some pressure points.
I have also looked into some hypnobirthing techniques, though I haven't bought the course. Basically, I've been learning some different breathing techniques. *TMI warning: Specifically been practicing this one while pushing with abs and releasing pelvic floor when going No. 2. Even without the breathing, that's how baby's gonna come out! End TMI.
Also yes, the exercise ball! BTW, if you have a 5 Below near you, they have exercise balls for $5. Might be worth it to get your kids their own! haha
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I feel confident about managing the contractions with the deep relaxation techniques I've learned. Where I get nervous is the actually baby-coming-through my vagina stage. My vagina just doesn't feel great right now, which I especially notice when I do the perineum massage. My vag feels tender and dry... if my finger hurts, pretty sure a watermelon sized human is going to be the apocalypse.
@mdfarmchick pitocin and no epidural is badass.
@fatstagnation so happy you are reading about hyponobirthing! "The Bradley Way" also has some good meditation readings for your partner to read to you during birth. I'm printing them all out along with the hypno meidtations for the delivery room. Good luck!
I've heard of The Bradley Way, I'll look for some meditations. Thanks!