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courtneyk258
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dumped during third trimester, need advice on custody for future baby
courtneyk258
member
My boyfriend and I had been together for a year when we found out we were expecting. Long story short, I just found out he's been dating another girl for the past month and because of his cheating we are splitting up. We live together so I am hunting for an apartment and trying to move as soon as possible. We can't agree on custody for our future son and I am due in 9 weeks so it's stressing me out. He wants 50/50 equal custody but doesn't want to get lawyers or legal ruling involved. I worry that if we don't have a legal agreement I will run into problems with custody transfers later on and will have no way to prove who is supposed to have custody at that point in time. Any advice on how to make shared custody work without making it harder on the parents?
Re: dumped during third trimester, need advice on custody for future baby
With his selfishness in mind, I can only guess that the reason that he wants so-called 50/50, is because he's one of those ignorant idiots that thinks 50/50 custody = no child support obligation. There are state guidelines to determine an appropriate amount, and the two main factors used when calculating child support payments are, how many overnights the child is with each parent, and each parent's income. It's very likely that you would end up with 100% overnights, given that your baby is, well, a baby.
The courts usually will allow visitation for dad in phases, such as a few hours per week, from the birth, and then eventually it would build up to maybe one overnight per week when the child is, say, a year old. That's not to say that your schedule would look like that, just giving you an idea.
Not to discourage you, but these types of situations are usually hard. It will be even harder without an attorney. With legal representation, your baby's rights, and your rights, will remain protected.
Keep calm, mama, there's a better chance of you getting your way than him getting his. Right now, focus on you and LO, focus on a place to live. Sending you love. Keep us updated.
Also, you may want to start looking into WIC, TANF, SNAP, and maybe into insurance for the LO (allkidscovered.com).
I'm not as active here as I used to be but I'm still around, if you need to PM me.