dumped during third trimester, need advice on custody for future baby

Re: dumped during third trimester, need advice on custody for future baby

• momof2buggs member

  September 2017

  I would advise you to get an attorney. If he cheated on you while you are expecting his child, he clearly doesn't take it seriously, and that is a huge issue. He is obviously not concerned with anyone but himself.
  
  With his selfishness in mind, I can only guess that the reason that he wants so-called 50/50, is because he's one of those ignorant idiots that thinks 50/50 custody = no child support obligation. There are state guidelines to determine an appropriate amount, and the two main factors used when calculating child support payments are, how many overnights the child is with each parent, and each parent's  income. It's very likely that you would end up with 100% overnights, given that your baby is, well, a baby.
  
  The courts usually will allow visitation for dad in phases, such as a few hours per week, from the birth, and then eventually it would build up to maybe one overnight per week when the child is, say, a year old. That's not to say that your schedule would look like that, just giving you an idea. 
  
  Not to discourage you, but these types of situations are usually hard. It will be even harder without an attorney. With legal representation, your baby's rights, and your rights, will remain protected. 

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• 20thirteen member

  September 2017

  I couldn't agree more with PP.  I wouldn't trust someone who cheated on me to keep his word about custody when he couldn't keep his word being faithful to me.  I have no experience with any kind of custody anything, my BD never fought me on what I wanted/expected, however, I believe that having an attorney will be beneficial in your case. You might even be able to find one pro bono or through the state where you live (depending on what their laws are on this).
  
  Keep calm, mama, there's a better chance of you getting your way than him getting his. Right now, focus on you and LO, focus on a place to live. Sending you love.  Keep us updated.

  

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• kg313 member

  January 2018

  I’m in almost the same situation. Expect I’m only 9 weeks and the dad broke up with because he cheated and now is claiming the baby isn’t his and wants a paternity test. So I’m stuck whether or not to get a lawyer involved too. I just can’t afford one since I’m going back to college and taking one class a semester this year. 

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• 20thirteen member

  January 2018

  @kg313 I would call attorneys in the area and see if someone would take your case pro bono or see if you could fund one through the state (some states do this).  I don't remember which agency works with parents in need of family lawyers though, but you could google around a bit.
  
  Also, you may want to start looking into WIC, TANF, SNAP, and maybe into insurance for the LO (allkidscovered.com).
  
  I'm not as active here as I used to be but I'm still around, if you need to PM me.  

  

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• singlemommanbean member

  February 2018

  He shouldn't be on the birth certificate. Cheaters like him don't deserve to be called that kids dad. If he's not on the birth certificate and he doesn't apply for fathership rights within thirty days of the child's birth you have full control. Just do that

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