As a FTM I Wish I'd Know...February AMA/STM Tell-All

llamamama14 · February 2018

This is February's "Ask me anything/ tell-all"

STMs enlighten (or terrify) the newbies. This month is pretty open ended: "As a FTM I wish I'd Known..."

The planned topics by month are in the spoiler. (Old threads can be bumped and alternative topics can be proposed.)

December-What to expect in 3rd tri./later in pregnancy

January-1. Med-free/birth center/home birth
-2. C Section/VBAC (Have 2 simultaneous threads because these topics don't include everyone.)

February- As a FTM I wish I had known...

March-Postnatal recovery (mom's physical and mental health)

April-1. breastfeeding/pumping 2. Formula feeding

May- Signs of labor ("How soon after your bloody show did contractions start?" type questions)

June- Newborn care/ sleep

Austenista · February 2018

I wish I’d known...that babies do things only when they’re ready and no amount of coaching, fretting, googling, or perceived success or failure on my part has much to do with it.

DS rolled over when he felt like it, ate solids spontaneously one day when he decided he wanted them, STTN when it was right for him, crawled when he wanted to, walked when he felt compelled, and started waving at me when he wanted to do so.

I’ve worried every step of the way thinking I needed to wean him from the pacifier, lower his formula intake, work and work with him to hit milestones, etc etc and in the end he’s done every bit of it on his own.

You’re not a bad or neglectful mother if @sabby2’s baby rolls over before yours, or @doxiemoxie212’s little girl eats purees better at first. If my baby crawls and waves before yours, don’t sweat it. There’s plenty of real things to worry about, but babies doing things in their own timing shouldn’t be one of them. Just remember that charts and statistics are good guidelines and shouldn’t be ignored, but you have a real life never existed before human child that isn’t defined by what’s on paper or google and comparison really can be the theif of joy here.

catlady1215 · February 2018

I'll throw this out there since everyone's getting registries together etc. Those nursery sets with the cutesy themes? Waste of money.

We planned our whole nursery around which one we liked. Wasted $150 of gift cards after the shower on the set.... and used barely any of it. The bumpers didn't get used till he was chewing the crib, we wrapped it over the top. The little pillow, never used. The blanket, by the time he could use a blanket, it was to small. The window hangings, didn't fit our windows. And the diaper holder barely got used cause we didn't change him in his room often.
other people bought us the mobile.. which eventually broke. And the changing pad cover, but again, barely changed him in his room.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

so much to what @Austenista said. One of the hardest things ever is to NOT compare your child to another. I struggled a lot with that when DDs BMB moved to FB. I felt DD was always one step behind all the other babies. But, in actuality, she was hitting all her milestones in the "normal" range, and when SHE wanted to. Try to just take a step back, and enjoy those milestones. I wish I would've done more of that, instead of all the "wishing" i did.

marcus7676 · February 2018

Yes to @Austenista all of that is true.

I wish i had known how hard it would be and how important it would be to ask for help. I’m a very independent person and asking for help isn’t in my nature. But most people cannot do it all with a newborn. Let people help you - whether it is someone who brings you food, someone who holds the baby while you nap or shower, or someone who just listens.

=caenis= · February 2018

@marcus7676 yes, definitely harder than expected. I think I mentally prepared for the physical part of birth, but was thrown off completely by the lack of sleep, intensity of hormones, and honestly a bit of (undiagnosed) depression afterwards.

So I encourage FTMs to think more about life after the birth and what it will be like. I couldn't have done it without support from my mom, MIL and my partner, who stepped in to help a lot, to feed me, to give me extra sleep, to take care of chores, etc.

Also, breastfeeding is hard at first. We struggled the first 6 weeks. And after that, it was the easiest thing, and so worth the initial pain.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

I wish I had known that it's okay to sometimes put your needs first. Mama needs to eat, sleep, and rest, too. Neglecting your needs too often does no one any good. Do not feel guilty for letting baby cry for a few minutes while you grab a bite to eat. You are not a terrible mother for taking a quick shower to regain the feeling of being human. Baby will not hate you for spending some time on your makeup, or painting your nails, instead of playing with them/watching them sleep/all the other things you feel obligated to do in case you miss something extraordinarily cute.
I know for at least the first six months after DH and I started going out once or twice a month for dinner without DD,I cried and cried. I missed her, but I also felt like an awful mom because I actually enjoyed having a break. Mom guilt is a b$%@!. As long as baby is well taken care of, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a little time for self-care.

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

What @Austenista said is 100 percent true. And in almost every case, whatever timeline your kid is on is the perfect one for him
or her. But I also want to throw out this note: Do not be afraid to trust your gut if you truly feel like something is wrong. My kid is thriving in therapy right now, and I wish I had taken the initiative to get him help sooner. I felt strongly that things were not quite right, but every time I expressed concern, everyone made me feel like I was being an unreasonable, overly anxious worrywart, and I wish I hadn’t let them convince me I was just overrreacting.

So I guess my real note is that even as a FTM, you got this. You know your kid. You know what you’re doing, even when you feel like you don’t.

And thus ends my pep talk.

katelynrae86 · February 2018

Like @=caenis= said, breastfeeding is so hard in the beginning (for some/most?). I'm honestly dreading the first couple of months nursing more than I'm dreading giving birth again because its a pain that happens over and over every couple of hours. People said it hurt, but I wasn't expecting it to be so bad. But don't suffer alone or give up if breastfeeding is important to you - talk to your doc or see a lactation consultant. I had to get a prescription cream before it became bearable but then, about 3 months in, something clicked and it became so much easier.

For me, it was worth working through the pain to develop a nursing relationship, for the convenience factor alone. Middle of the night feeding? whip out a boob. Running errands with the LO and they get hungry? whip out a boob (okay, not everyone is comfortable doing so but I loved the ease and also had a super fussy baby who would often only want to nurse so I learned how to do it in a carrier walking the aisles of target or else I would have never left the house).

Of course, after saying all that, if breastfeeding is not working for you or your baby, there's no need to force yourself to continue.

May14th2011 · February 2018

Yes to what @MoonOverGoldsboro said. If you are concerned, for any reason, don't hesitate to go talk to the Dr. Even if everyone says it's not a big deal or you're being ridiculous. Don't be afraid to push it, even with the Dr.
Also, if your Dr is not listening to you, or don't click, switch Drs! It made such a difference when I switched with my daughter, things were so much better so quickly. A good Dr makes everything easier.

jsl82 · February 2018

I 100% agree with everyone that the lack of sleep and hormones are going to mess with you- worse than actual delivery will be the adjustment to life with a newborn. Speak up if you aren't feeling right- it might be normal baby blues or something more serious, but your doctor will be able to help you with that distinction.

Breastfeeding is also a huge learning curve- and even as a STM I know I'll be relearning this task with baby boy. He could be an amazing eater or he could struggle with BFing. Again- ask for help if you are struggling and don't put any unnecessary pressure on yourself to BF.

Don't compare your baby with anyone else. It's hard- I still find myself doing it. DD is 13 months old and still is holding on to furniture as she is walking- while other babies born around the same time have been walking for months. I have to remind myself that she is just being cautious- she needs to KNOW that she can do it before she attempts... and there is nothing I can do besides cheer her on.

for me, I think the biggest thing I learned though was that no one know that you need help unless you ask for it. I thought my mom would be more helpful, but she wasn't. She was only interested in holding the baby and not helping me adjust to life as a new mom. We don't have the best relationship and it was very isolating. She has been watching DD for a few months now so I am hoping it is better this time around BUT I am still not expecting anything from her without me asking for help- and being very clear with what I need. Your family and friends are not mind- readers and they are not in the thick of it with you everyday. So if you need someone to come over and let you sleep for a couple of hours every afternoon or soemone to make your family dinner so you aren't eating pizza again- you need to ask for it, most people want to help- they just don't know what you need.

mytinc · February 2018

Breastfeeding isn't for everyone. If it doesn't work for you, it's okay. If the pain is too much, it's okay. If your milk doesn't come in or your supply is too low, it's okay. Don't let anyone shame you for not breastfeeding, for supplementing formula along with your breast milk, or anything else. These are decisions that are best for YOU and YOUR CHILD. Sometimes that means stopping for your own mental health.

It's okay if there are dishes in the sink and laundry that is unwashed/unfolded, or toys not put away. Sometimes you can't do it all, despite Pinterest, Facebook, and the rest of the internet telling you otherwise.

Your child will not die if you are home alone and decide to shower. Take care of yourself as well. If it makes you feel better, drag the rock n' play into the bathroom and let him/her nap in there while you shower. Getting cleaned up and dressed will do wonders for your mood if/when you're in a funk.

mytinc · February 2018

Also - let your SO help - in fact, demand it.

This may sound easy, but if you're the one home with baby all day while on maternity leave or as a SAHM it may seem easier/faster etc. if you do things yourself and your way because you do it all day and know how to do it. If you do every diaper change, bath, clothing change, putting down for a nap, etc. from the beginning you'll be stuck with it from here on out. Your SO won't feel comfortable doing those things if he doesn't learn them early, when you're learning them. And you'll get to a point that you may not feel comfortable with SO doing it and so you do it all the time - this WILL lead to resentment on your part (always having to do it all and not getting a needed break) and possibly less bonding between your child and SO.

My advice is this - yes, you give your baby a bath a certain way. That doesn't mean that your SO has to do the EXACT same things the EXACT same way to give the baby a bath. Let him find his own rhythm and way of doing things. Everyone will be more comfortable in the long run.

lisa2589 · February 2018

Don’t blindly accept or extend invitations. People don’t always use their common sense when it comes to having colds and other sicknesses because they just reeeeeaaallly want to see that baby. If someone invites you over or wants to stop by, it is NOT rude to make sure they/their family are healthy first. I know we’re lucky with our summer babies to avoid the worst of the cold/flu season, but it does happen that time of year too.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

I wish I had known how anxious I would be after having him. AND that it is 100% normal. There is a line and I was probably close to it, but waking up to check on your LO is normal. Being worried about him through the night is normal and the first time they sleep past a feeding time will freak you out. I thought I was going to feel that way for the rest of my life, but it gradually got better. I also thought there was something wrong with me until I started talking to my mother about it. Talk to other mothers if you are concerned about your mental health. No offense to the guys out there but they really don't react the same way. Ask on here or with mothers IRL. Be honest and we can give feedback about what is normal and what is not. And it is better to talk to a doctor, than to suffer in silence.

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

Oh my god, everything @mytinc said about your SO. I am a total control freak and it was hard for me to let my H figure his own ish out when I knew the exact right way to bounce my son so he’d stop crying. I had to really work on that!! And now my H has his own things he does “better” than me, and it was a huge part of his bonding with our son.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

Kinda tying into what @mytinc said about your SO: While I cannot speak for anyone else, my SO was petrified of holding babies for the longest time. When we had DD, I let him know that he was not the only one who was scared and nervous, and that babies will totally pick up on that in your posturing as you hold them. He was upset at first because he thought she didn't like him (which I told him was ridiculous because she was a newborn.) She would cry almost every time he held her, but I told him he just needed to up his confidence. Once he started to get used to holding her and realized she wasn't made of glass, he calmed down.
Do not let their initial lack of confidence (if they have one) prevent them from helping you and bonding with your baby.

krash_ · February 2018

On the topic of letting your SO do things their way, them bonding with baby, and lacking confidence...we have a few babies in our lives so for the last year or so MH has been trying to familiarize himself with them. I think in general boys aren't encouraged as young adults to hold babies or babysit so he had never really been around them. I'm really glad that he has taken the initiative to ask to hold babies, typically I will have them and he will just ask me if he can take them. But he is lanky with long arms and unfamiliar with how to hold a baby. I try to give him pointers but he always looks uncomfortable and the baby looks uncomfortable.

Did you have to causally "train" YH's to know how to hold a baby or is that something that will come naturally after more exposure? I always just try to tell him to do what feels comfortable but I feel like his long arms and small babies just doesn't work.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

I echo everything that everyone has said so far!!

Mom guilt is real. I remember at the hospital I didn't realize it was mom guilt happening already but when they asked me if I wanted DD1 to sleep in the room with me or to go to the nursery. I was so overwhelmed by that question. I wanted my rest, I needed to sleep...but I was so afraid that also meant admitting I couldn't do it myself (which is ridiculous). I had amazing nurses that talked to me and ensured that no matter what I chose was totally fine and went over feeding options with me and personal experiences. You do what feels right.

DH deployed when dd1 was 3 months old, and he isn't super comfortable with newborns/babies so I got very used to doing everything myself (and it got to the point of feeling like failure if I asked for help...which is ridiculous). When he got home from his trip when DD1 was 10 months old it was so hard for me to let go at that point. Like someone said earlier you get to the point where you start to feel like no one else can do it right, which isn't the case- they will just do it differently. It took some adjusting but we're all good now- but do NOT be afraid to let other people help. It is not a sign of weakness, it does not make you a bad mother.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

@krashke Yes and no on the training. I had to train DH, but more so to just relax, as opposed to how he was holding her. He's 6'4" and kinda in the same boat as YH; loves kids, especially babies, but never really had a lot of exposure up-close. He had some practice with second cousins and our nephew, but I don't think he was really comfortable until we got settled in at home. For DH, it was mostly just a matter of losing the tension in his upper body as he was holding her.

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

@krashke Personally, I don’t think any “training” is necessary. You will be amazed at what your H (and you) just figure out once it’s your own kid. It just all feels more natural. My H had held maybe one baby and never changed a diaper when our son was born, and I have this clear memory of me lying in the hospital bed while he changed our son’s first diaper. He was telling the nurse, “I’ve never done this before!”, but he just got in there and did the dang thing, and quickly became a champion baby snuggler. It will happen fast!

LaceyBee522 · February 2018

@kmurdock925 Thanks for sharing that story about being in the hospital and trying to decide whether to send the baby to the nursery. I've heard stories that the nurses in the hospital where I'm delivering push really hard to get you go keep the baby with you. But, I know myself and I think I'll want them in the nursery, so I can get a little rest. I'm really nervous about dealing with that push back/guilt.

mytinc · February 2018

@krashke - I'd recommend letting your SO have some kangaroo time with your child. It will help everyone relax. Skin on skin is great for both parents - not just mom. And there is nothing better than having a napping newborn on your chest. If your SO is in a recliner with baby on his chest he'll get a good feel of how to hold the baby.

lisa2589 · February 2018

@MoonOverGoldsboro I have quite the same memory of DH learning to change a diaper and swaddle DD while I was trying to rest in the hospital bed! I was and still am amazed how naturally those infant cares came to him. To be honest I had never been around infants much either and so we both really learned from each other as we went.

krash_ · February 2018

@mytinc we are taking Bradley classes and they really encourage skin to skin with the dad's too. I don't think he even considered it but when they brought it up in class, saying dad's make sure you also pack something for skin to skin like a zip up or button down, he was really into it.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

LaceyBee522 it was such an overwhelming thing I wasn't prepared for. DH actually was asking me about it this week on what my plans are. Our first night in the hospital was kind of rough. I had her in the room with me (as that is what all the books, etc say) and DD woke up SCREAMING around 1am from being hungry. I didn't realize that it had been several hours since she ate instead of the every 2 hours she had been eating all day. She woke up HANGRY. She had a great latch all day and ate really well but she was so upset and hungry she couldn't calm down enough to try and latch. I hit the call button and got the psa- she told me to try skin to skin and we were soooo far past that helping...she sent the nurse and I told her I needed formula- she NEEDED to eat. She got me formula and because I had noted that I was going to be nursing I had to sign a form saying it was okay and she had to talk to me about pumping...again...it all turned out totally fine. It was just a big learning experience...my kid gets hangry.

I did decide to let her to go the nursery the 2nd night. They offered to bring her into my room to nurse every few hours or they could give her a bottle. I decided to let them give her a bottle so I could get some rest...ha, she broke them. They advise to only give newborns 10cc of formula...so they gave her that much and took the bottle away...she SCREAMED...so much they gave in and gave her more, haha. THey said that doesn't happen often and that she had a set of lungs. To this day she still gets hangry, lol

doxiemoxie212 · February 2018

Confession: I have held one baby in my entire life (nephew about a year ago when he was one month old), and I have never changed a diaper (though I've done scientific PR for diaper companies, so I know what they're made of, if that helps me at all lol). I am still the youngest in my family, so... few opportunities.

DH is the eldest of four boys, and he was 10 when his youngest brother was born, and just has a larger extended family in general so he's held tons of babies and changed a million diapers. I'm mostly banking on doing whatever feels right but also expecting DH will help me a lot lol.

Xtabbikatx · February 2018

@kmurdock925 omg I completely forgot how overwhelmed I was in the hospital. Question after question. I got to the point where I shut down and couldn't answer anymore questions. DH had to step in and take over, and they were completely normal questions. What's his name? Do you want a photo shoot, are you nursing. I was just so tired.

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

@lisa2589 Oh man, my H was so much better at swaddling than me! He was so proud.

I babysat when I was a teenager, but I was never a big baby person, so I felt like I had a pretty big infant learning curve, too. I have such good memories of those early months when my H and I were figuring stuff out, and laughing at ourselves about how weird but also awesome it was. Feeling sort of misty-eyed now!

llamamama14 · February 2018

@LaceyBee522 Send those babies to the nursery! My hospital is so pushy about "rooming-in" that they don't even have a nursery. (Otherwise I would!) I get that it promotes bf-ing but dude mom just went through labor and needs some rest.

@krashke I wouldn't worry about training DH. When it's their kid they become a pro. Advice from @mytinc is spot on about letting DH figure ish out on their own. I did find that DH felt more confident as baby got a bit older and wasn't nursing as frequently. Early on if you breastfeed baby does needs/wants to be with mom most of the time because of the boobs. (I found this made me feel trapped/overwhelmed but it's temporary.)

Agree with how the sleep deprivation is so much harder than I expected. I remember at 3 months in thinking "WTF I'm still not getting any sleep but no one's asking how I'm doing anymore as if I should be back to normal."

marcus7676 · February 2018

@doxiemoxie212 when DS was born, I had never held another baby (except for my sister 30 years ago). I was stuck in bed so H changed all the diapers. I don't think I changed a diaper until H went back to work after 2 weeks!

And your H's will surprise you - - natural instinct will take over with their kid. H was so good at holding DS (much better than me!).

kmurdock925 · February 2018

llamamama14 yes! It can become so isolating...for some reason I felt like I had to nurse/rock her in the nursery. I missed a lot of shows/the Olympics/basic conversation because I sat in the nursery in the rocking chair for HOURS at a time...when I realized that it was ok to rock her in the recliner in the family room it was revolutionary.

llamamama14 · February 2018

@kmurdock925 You missed shows? All I did was binge watch Netflix while I nursed DS. FTMs take advantage of this! With your 2nd you can't have your shows on... it'll be Clifford and Paw Patrol.

jsl82 · February 2018

@kmurdock925 I wish my hospital had even given me the option to have DD go to the nursery. I was so overwhelmed and DD would scream and cry unless she was attached to my nipple. I barely got any sleep and when the night nurse would come into my room she would yell at me for laying down with her (she had been attached for hours). I hated this woman- it's been 13 months and I still HATE her with every ounce of my body. I moved since having DD and will be having this LO at a different hospital. I am hoping that the night nurse isn't horrible- but I am also planning on sending DS to the nursery for at least a couple hours at night.

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

+1 for the binge-watching while nursing (cause @llamamama14 gave an accurate summation of what you will most likely be watching instead.)

I don't have Netflix (yeah, I know) but with DD, I watched a ton of Law & Order SVU on USA and watched all of My So-Called Life (Jordan Catalano, le sigh) on dvd.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

@llamamama14 - right?!?! Looking back it is such a DUH moment! I wasn't even thinking that newborns sleep ANYWHERE and don't need dark/quiet and a tv wouldn't remotely be an issue. So much wasted time, lol.

MLS6212 · February 2018

So many things...Learn from my fails, ladies.

1) Hydrate before your due date! DS1 came 5 days early and I wasn't very well hydrated so getting an IV and the necessary blood work to have an epidural were an ordeal involving many nurses and technicians taking their turns sticking me.

2) If you plan to take a vehicle to the hospital don't let it get below half a tank of fuel (probably a good idea at any time, but especially when you're hauling ass to the hospital during your contractions).

3) Take care of yourself after you give birth. Stay hydrated and make sure you're eating and sleeping when possible.

4) Babies cry. Even the most attentive mothers cannot prevent their babies from crying about something. If you're alone and the baby is in a safe place, you can step away momentarily to pee, get food, etc. If you need to shower, strap the baby in a bouncer seat and put him/her right outside the shower so you can see him/her. See above about caring for yourself.

5) Breastfeeding is hard and sometimes it doesn't work. Be prepared in case it doesn't. Because I failed at item #3 above, I lost 22 pounds in less than a week and my milk never came in. That led to a mad scramble to be able to provide formula for my son. Go to similac.com or enfamil.com and sign up for their rewards program now. They'll send you a free sample and some coupons in the mail. Get some bottles and make sure they're sterilized and ready to go at a moment's notice. If you're having trouble breastfeeding, contact a lactation consultant. But also be attentive to your baby. For me, it was the fact that my son was overly drowsy, not wetting/dirtying enough diapers, and had dry/crusty lips and eyes that clued me in to the fact that he was dehydrated at four days old. I called his pediatrician's office (before we had even had our first appointment) and they said I needed to supplement with formula immediately. Let go of the guilt when you're hammered with "breast is best" by your mom, sister, MIL, SIL, lactation consultant, neighbor, FB friend, random stranger seeing you buy formula at the store. Feeding your baby is best.

May14th2011 · February 2018

If you have a csection, stay on top of your pain meds while in the hospital. Don't try to tough it out, take them regularly. Usually the Dr will only send you home with ibuprofen, so take advantage of the good meds while you can, and it will help you a lot. The pain is worst the first three or so days, if you stay on top of the meds, by the time you go home, ibuprofen is usually enough to cover it.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

I've been trying to figure out what to put here. I got so much advice from other people that just went in one ear and out the other. And so many previous ladies have said so many important things, so i'll just say this:

Find your tribe.

Your tribe could be anyone you chose. Friends near by, family down the road, or strangers on the internet. Just find people to talk to, to interact with, and people that know how hard things can get. Find a tribe that will pick you up when you can't see the light, and find a tribe that will be there with you to celebrate the wins. People that will be there for everything in between. If i have learned anything from these past 18 months, it's that being a Mom is lonely, and you will want people to share in that loneliness. To show you that it'll all be okay, because it will - it'll all be okay.

rnielsen321 · February 2018

I agree with the ladies above. And a few things I have passed on to my new mom friends...

- Don't be a hero... or martyr if you will. This echoes what is said above. Ask for help, ask lots of questions, get people to come with you to appointments, don;t be afraid to state your needs, and ask for help. Sleep if someone says they will relieve you. Tell them to do the dishes, fold the laundry, or send someone who will. And your partner will figure their own way out.

Products:
- Stool Softener - Take it. Take it regularly. Do not stop. Do not run out. I literally gift a bottle to each new mom when I go visit. Not sexy, but glorious. Believe me.
- Pads. Big ones. Big overnight with wings pads. Buy them. Lots. Prep your partner to know which ones you need. You need more that you think. Buy them. In fact, that is something I will stock up on. Mama diapers. And keep em for your first menses post partum.
- Peri Bottle - Your best friend. Take as many of them from the hospital as you can. Thank me later.

Breastfeeding was super easy and natural for me and my DD. No pain, no latch issues, easy peasy. But only lasted 4 months. She was fed formula and breast milk, but leaped to solids at the first taste, and never looked back. Literally never went back!! We were full on formula and solids. And that was it. I wanted to feed her longer, but she was not having it. We just kinda went with the flow. She was healthy and happy, so... que cera cera.

Post Natal muscle pains - Like cramping, and tension and weird feelings as your body starts to return to itself. No one warned me that there would be Pain like that weeks later. Crazy. Almost had DH take me to emerge.

helenbz · February 2018

As a FTM, I avoided this thread because of the first post...but it was helpful! Thank you for not terrifying the newbies.

I have a few questions though...

1. No hospital here has a nursery. Seems they are generally moving away from offering this option in this country and other countries too. Even ten years ago in Britiain, we didn’t have nursery’s for new babies. I wasn’t really expecting to have that option so I’m not disappointed...but I’m interested in other options for getting sleep the first night after birth? Can hubby stay with me?

2. What should I prep at home for those first few days? What do I need to make sure I have in my cupboards or fridge? The suggestion of pre sterilized bottles, formula, pads, stool softener etc were helpful! What else??

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As a FTM I Wish I'd Know...February AMA/STM Tell-All

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