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May 2018 Moms
erin8marie
member
Miscarriage dream - emotional advice?
erin8marie
member
FTM, I had a previous pregnancy that ended in miscarriage at about 8 weeks. We tried on the second cycle after and got pregnant with this peanut. I have been wondering lately if we jumped into getting pregnant again too soon. I feel guilty for trying not to get too attached to this pregnancy as the risk of miscarrying is always in the back of my mind. Last night, I had a vivid dream about miscarrying with this baby and woke up crying. I want to blame the pregnancy hormones, but honestly I think it was triggered by a health survey I had to do for my insurance to enroll in a benefits program which has you disclose if you've had a miscarriage or other pregnancy before.
My question for those that have miscarried before their rainbow baby: have you had a similar experience? Is this baby your rainbow baby too? I feel like anything can trigger my emotions these days, but is there anything that stirs up those emotions for you that you've learned how to avoid? Anyone already given birth to their rainbow baby that can give some advice for trying to deal with these emotions? I was pretty shaken after waking up from that dream this morning.
Please feel free to share your story. I think part of me just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head before it implodes :-/
Thanks for reading/sharing.
Erin
My question for those that have miscarried before their rainbow baby: have you had a similar experience? Is this baby your rainbow baby too? I feel like anything can trigger my emotions these days, but is there anything that stirs up those emotions for you that you've learned how to avoid? Anyone already given birth to their rainbow baby that can give some advice for trying to deal with these emotions? I was pretty shaken after waking up from that dream this morning.
Please feel free to share your story. I think part of me just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head before it implodes :-/
Thanks for reading/sharing.
Erin
Re: Miscarriage dream - emotional advice?
As for your comments and questions-
***tw losses mentioned
I suffered 2 losses and struggled with infertility before having our ivf twins in December of 2015. I found it was pretty hard to get attached to them until we made it past 24 weeks (viability). Then I was able to relax a little, but still had some small anxiety issues about how the rest of pregnancy and birth would go.
This pregnancy I feel like I was able to relax earlier and bond with this baby earlier. I still had trouble buying anything big or making any big decisions until we had our a/s and found out all was healthy, but I have been to breath easier having had a successful pregnancy in the past.
I have also experienced a real loss dream with this pregnancy and as it was distressing, it was just a dream thankfully. Honestly, the subconscious is a crazy place so I don't think there is anything you can do to keep yourself from having dreams like that. If you think some things you're reading or so meeting may be triggers for you, then avoid them. All of what you're experiencing seems to be pretty normal compared to myself and others I know of that have suffered a loss. If your anxiety starts to get to you, speak with your ob about your concerns and also think of maybe seeing a therapist in regards to it. Otherwise just take it a day at a time.
I had a miscarriage in 2010, my son was born in 2011, and then I had a second miscarriage 4 months after he was born. With this baby, though I've had no problems, I've had two miscarriage dreams. It's something that will stick with you. I'll never forget my angel babies and they're always in the back of my mind. I personally just have to take a moment to regroup, talk myself through what in the dream isn't accurate and what details are way off base (for example, if I'm pregnant with triplets in the dream, it helps ground me to remind myself that I'm only pregnant with one in real life) and then I talk to my husband about it and he helps me figure out what has been worrying me lately, pregnancy related or not, because some type of stress usually triggers it.
My first miscarriage dream was around 8 weeks this time. What triggered me is funny when I look back at it now (it wasn't funny at the time) we were on vacation with our boys, my parents, and my grandmother. We were in Tennessee and they have a moon pie store, so the boys were all over that lol. DS got strawberry and had dropped a piece of the coating on the hotel room floor. I saw it, but I had a handful at the time so I made a mental note to pick it up in a minute (yeah, because I was going to remember with pregnancy brain already) so I of course forgot and stepped on it on the way to take a shower. I didn't realize that I had until I was in the middle of my shower and I turned around to see a pink streak on the shower floor. A moment of panic and checking myself three times to confirm that I wasn't actually bleeding, then I remembered the stupid moon pie lol I smudged it with my toe and it was clearly white chocolate. Calmed down and went to bed, but it stuck with me and I dreamed that night.
Don't be afraid to talk to others about it. I should have been in therapy after my second loss, I was diagnosed with post partum depression (which I didn't even realize could happen from a loss) but I couldnt afford it at the time. So I turned my world into my therapy group. It was oddly calming, and comforting to realize how many incredibly strong women I was surrounded by who had lived through the same thing. They were such amazing support with so much advice and comfort to offer. I know not everyone is comfortable sharing about their loss, but for me it was important to my healing process to acknowledge my babies and to share our story.
Good luck, there are lots of ladies here who have lived through similar situations and are always willing to talk when you need to.
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
This pregnancy happened immediately after my last loss (no cycle in between). I've had three losses total. I have had one or two miscarriage dreams, but the hardest part for me is accepting that this pregnancy will last. I delayed announcing it, I freak out if I don't feel movement every hour, and every uncomfortable sensation (like RLP) has me nervous. I'm just trying to take it a day at a time. I agree with the others...talk to a doctor or therapist if your anxiety gets bad, otherwise feel free to vent here.
TTC #1 since September 2015
*TW*
BFP #1: CP, April 2016
BFP #2: 10/5/16, MMC 11/3/16 at 7w5d (embryo stopped @ ~6 weeks), misoprostol 11/11/16 (EDD 6/16/17)
Dx: Luteal phase defect, uterine polyps, stage 2 endometriosis, low morphology
Uterine polyp removal (laparoscopy) 3/28/17
BFP #3: 6/19/17, MMC 7/11/17 at 6w3d, misoprostol 7/17/17 (EDD 3/1/18)
BFP #4: 8/25/17 EDD 5/4/18
I have had 2 terrible miscarriage dreams where I see blood in the toilet. It is terrible. What helps me is to do some pregnancy meditations and positive affirmations right afterwards. It definitely helps with the anxiety., Also, go see a therapist. That helped me the most.