GTKY: How long did you wait until you decided to have a child?

btm013 · January 2018

I'm always fascinated by everyone's story in regards to this question. We all got to where we are today in so many different ways.

How long did you and your SO wait before deciding to have children? What made you come to your decision?

**This is a judgement free zone! Whether or not you were married/dated for years or had a bit of an "oopsy", we are all in this together! So, let's show love and support.

btm013 · January 2018

For me and my husband, we waited a long time!! For a good three years of our marriage we didn't even want children. Then, over time, my mind started thinking about what it would be like to be pregnant, raise a baby, have a little person which was a perfect blend of my husband and myself (for better or worse!).

We call our first child, our "seven year itch" as he was born right before our anniversary. This baby will be born before our tenth anniversary!

And then I'm done haha. No more.

luna8433 · January 2018

I was thirty when my husband and I got married, so I was already baby hungry. We waited a little over a year to start trying. We wanted sometime alone before we had a baby and to get a little more settled. We are now working on #2 we wanted to wait till DH was done with school before we had another.

mcb2016 · January 2018

I got married at 19. We wanted to start our family early. It didn't exactly work out that way. We adopted our first child when I was 24. And had my second child at 34. Although had #2 not been early I would have been 35. Number there is due when I'm now 36.

Dumbgurl04 · January 2018

MH and I wanted to wait at least 2 years after getting married before we started trying. We wanted to enjoy married life and by a house first. Our DD was born a few weeks after we celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. We will be married just around 6.5 years when DS is born.

Also fun fact on my side of the family between my cousins and siblings I'm the only one who didn't get pregnant or have a baby by their first wedding anniversary.

annabanana051416 · January 2018

My husband and I both wanted a baby soon after we got married, but we decided to hold off for a bit and start trying about a year after our wedding. As others have mentioned, we also wanted some time to ourselves as a married couple and I was still finishing my PhD, so I wanted to be finished with school and to buy a house first. The timing worked out perfectly - I conceived a couple of days after we moved into our home. Our second wedding anniversary is in May.

Puddlewonderful · January 2018

We started not trying to avoid as soon as we got married. We figured, why else are we getting married? I got pregnant within about 4 mos and DS was born 3 weeks after our first anniversary

g_amoss · January 2018

Before we were engaged we knew we wanted kids (we’re both in our 40’s). Ended up about a year after getting engaged that we got pregnant after first IVF cycle.

ngolimento · January 2018

I originally wanted to have kids by 25, but I found myself somehow unable to date anything but loser douchebags until I hit 30. So by then I felt my ovaries ticking like a bomb, and we decided to just wait until two years after being married to have kids. I also thought I would only wait two years between kids, but finances constrained us until just last year.

sjn00 · January 2018

Ummm we started dating when I was 21 married at 23? I think I dont remember but our daughter when I was 26 now having our second (and probably last) daughter at 30.

nessa1632 · January 2018

We waited until we bought a house as we lived with my in laws for 2 years after getting married... and theyre great but not really trying to be pregnant and birth a child in the same house if you know what I mean. We ended up closing a year ago and then we did renos through may and I conceived in July. Timing has been pretty good for us so far!

Apthor02 · January 2018

We got married when I was 22 and he was 26. We knew we wanted kids pretty quick but still waited a few months. Our daughter was born 1 1/2 after we married. Our second daughter will be born a few months before our 4 anniversary.

beach_mama · January 2018

We got married at 26 and shortly thereafter decided we wanted to start a family (we had already been together for 6+ years by then). After a year of trying on our own we sought out fertility treatments and was diagnosed w unexplained IF. We had 8 failed medicated cycles. Our 9th was ivf which brought us DD1. After DD1 turned 1 we admitted to ourselves that we wanted to try for a sibling if we could. We went through testing again and the month before we started treatments we got pregnant on our own w DD2.

The real kick in the pants is we decided this past summer we were like 95% sure we were done having kids. We loved our family of 4 and felt like we were done...and then a month later we were pregnant with our current. We are still in shock that we have an "oops" baby but we couldn't be happier. This little guy will complete our family. I'll be 35 a few months after he arrives.

dubnug · January 2018

We have been together, and lived together, 8 years this February. Neither of us have been or are in a hurry to wed, we are happy being together. Common law by now or soon anyway here in Texas. We weren’t in any hurry to have children in the first few years. After time, the subject had been brought up and although we weren’t actively trying we said that if it happened we would be happy to start that next chapter. We stopped being protected/careful a couple years ago. Last year we got the surprise when I was terribly ill with morning sickness. I quit my job at the body shop and by the time we were able to get into the doctor’s office the pregnancy had terminated itself. Devastated, we decided we were ready to take on this next part of our lives and actively tried as soon as doctor said we were in the clear from the D&C. By the EDD I will be turning 33 as we welcome our first into the world. Daddy just turned 31 in November. Timing couldn’t be any better as we moved out of the rent house we had lived in since meeting and purchased the land and house he grew up in and moved his mother into a lake house.

mikkimikey · January 2018

I hadn’t met my current husband when I got pregnant with my daughter (now 11) when i was a junior in college. Her biological father wanted nothing to do with her, and I have THE most supportive family.

I not only only graduated from college on time, but I graduated with honors with a bachelors degree in elementary education.

I got a teaching job as a kindergarten teacher right out of college, and one of my colleagues introduced me to my DH. We hit it off right away and we were married a little over a year after we met in September when I was 24. DH wasted no time and filed the adoption papers of my daughter, and he is the only father she’s ever known! (They met when she was 18 months old)

We got pregnant right after the wedding and, unfortunately we lost that baby. Having a D&C less than three months after you got married is not exactly the “honeymoon period” we were expecting.

We waited a little bit and ended up pregnant right when we first tried. Our beautiful son (now 8) was born in September of 2009.

I’m not the best at growing babies, so we thought our family of four was great.

In 2017, I had the IUD put in in March. I bled HEAVILY (heavy flow every.single.day) for two months and had them take out he Mirena after I passed out at the vet’s office in June with my two kids and a new kitten in tow. I was SO low on iron and my BP was very low due to all of the bleeding.

So the OB told me to start on the pill the day I got the IUD taken out since I hadn’t gotten my period yet. So I did. September 1st, I realized I hadn’t had a period yet (not unusual for my messed up body) so for peace of mind, I took a test.

Obviously it came up pregnant (right away, I might add!!) and it turns out that I was 8 weeks pregnant when I went in! I seriously couldn’t believe it!!

So we are SUPER excited but we were SUPER surprised. We still can’t believe that we will have three kids sometimes LOL

whew... long story. Props if you made it through all of that!

thisgirlagain · January 2018

We wanted to started trying about 3 years into marriage, but didn't have insurance (husband was laid off at the time) so we waited until we were covered. We were married for 4.5 years when we had our first.

danniluv · January 2018

Me and my now fiance were only dating 7 months when I got pregnant. I am 30 and he is 35. We got engaged on Dec 10th! And we are planning to get married January next year. Let's say this baby was totally unplanned and there were some hard days but we are both very excited for our little boy to arrive and also our upcoming marriage!

structuralmama · January 2018

We waited about two years after we got married while my husband was wrapping up his business a few states away. He slowly transitioned up to New Hampshire, but he wasn't actually living there full time until I was 6 months pregnant with our first.

icalynn · January 2018

This baby was a bit of an opps moment. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 years and for what ever reason have never gotten around to getting married. Between trying to finish school, and graduating during the recession which stalled out our careers, buying a house and what feels like constant renovations it never seemed like the right time. SO has wanted children forever, he comes from a huge family that gets married young and pops out as many children as possible. I have always seen myself as a mother hypothetically sometime in the future but never felt that overwhelming itch to have a child. I feel like the surprise of our son is exactly the way it was supposed to happen. I tend to be a very slow cautious decision maker and am not sure I would have ever been able to take this leap on my own. It has taken me a while to become comfortable with the way things worked out and I still have days of uncertainty, but I have no doubt that I will love my son and feel so blessed to be his mother.

hedgepig · January 2018

MH and I were together 10 years before getting married, and had been married for 3 years when we decided to start a family. I had been ready for kids for a long time, and he always wanted them, in theory, but needed time to actually be ready. *TW* It took us almost a year and 2 MCs to get a sticky baby, but here we are! */TW*

ladythrice · January 2018

DH and I both knew we wanted kids from the get-go, however we did want a LITTLE time with just the two of us after getting married. Me being in grad school and difficulty in conceiving our first delayed things further than I had initially planned... but it all worked out. Had we gotten pregnant when I first planned, I would have still been in grad school when DS was born. The universe was looking out for us and delayed conception (at the time, I certainly didn't see it as 'the universe looking out for us'

). DS was born a little over two years after we got married (I had been hoping for 1 year). I was nine months pregnant during my grad school final defense and my diploma arrived in the mail while I was home with DS on maternity leave!

Since it took us time to get pregnant with DS and he ended up being born a year later than I planned, we started TTC DD1 when DS was 10 months. For some reason my body decided to get pregnant on that first shot... cue shock. When DD1 was 10 months old, DH was ready to try again and I, fearing immediate pregnancy again, asked for two more months lol. I got my period back when DD1 was 12 months, we decided to TTC that cycle and well, here we are...

I have no plans to get pregnant when DD2 is 10-12 months. None at all. I have no leave left at work (I will have exhausted 10 years worth of stored leave through 3 maternity leaves at that point). And I'm pretty sure my body is wrecked. I desperately want to be able to take a night/weekend away with my husband without having to worry about breastfeeding/pumping or being pregnant... It's been nearly four years since we could do this. Saying all that....... part of me still feels like we might want another. /sigh. What if I don't feel done?!?!?!?!?!

sunshine27shy · January 2018

I am loving everyone's stories.

my husband and I new each other for 8 years before we started dating then we were together for over a year when we got engaged. I wanted to start soon after but he wanted to wait. after about 9 months of being married we decided to pull the goalie and see what happened. after about 14 months of trying we started going to the Drs. we were getting ready to start our first round of Clomid when I still hadn't received my period so after a week of being late I took a rest and found out I was pregnant. I was over the moon excited and so happy to be starting our little family.

fancybelmont · January 2018

We were only married for about 8 months before we started trying. But we had been "together" for almost 9 years prior to that. We started dating in high school and got married when I was 24 and DH was 25.

priestess619 · January 2018

Fiance and I were within the first year of dating when I found out I was pregnant. No planning, no waiting. With my goals of starting school I figured I'd have to wait until at least my last year of my PhD or after to start a family. It's a very field work intensive line of work so I really didn't know when I'd get the chance. Now I'm having my LO 4 months before starting school and I'm starting to think it's actually the best time! We tell people "if we wanted to plan a baby, we never would have planned a baby".

aabbaby · January 2018

My DH and I started our relationship long distance so we planned things out pretty quickly for me to relocate. He was 28 and I was 23. We both knew we wanted kids. We got married in April '14, bought a house in July, then got pregnant and had our DD in November '15. Now we are on to baby number 2

itsrandiyo · January 2018

My DH and I were together around 2.5 years when we got married in 2014, one year after I graduated college. I just turned 23 when we got married. We didn't have a set plan for children, just kind of whatever happened but I got off birth control the month of our wedding, and we got pregnant the first time we did the deed afterward lol. I guess they call it a Honeymoon baby, but it wasn't on our wedding night (who has energy for that!?) --My husband currently owned the house we lived in but we wanted to move a little closer to his family (20 mins away) so one day he decided the have the real estate agent come over, and we sold our house the next day.... I was around 4-5 months pregnant. It was a crazy pregnancy after that, we decided to do a pre-built house and put it on his grandpas land that we had to buy...so we did all that while we lived with his brother..then he didn't want us there anymore and lived in a one bedroom apartment and didn't move into our house until my DD was around 3 months old. We are so happy where we are now and our house. Anyway, we both wanted our kids around 2-3 years apart, so we started trying and had a MC 9 weeks after conceiving (did take 2 months) and then we did the deed ONE TIME 3 weeks after my MC and here we are. I'll be 26 when the baby is born, and my DH will be 29 and we'll be married 3.5 years. We are still deciding on if we will want a 3rd after this one, but I think if we decide we can handle it (people say going from 1 to 2 is crazy) we will probably try below 2 years apart.

okayrunner · January 2018

We started trying shortly before our wedding. We had been living together for years and purchased a house earlier that year. I had significant issues with endometriosis and was told I would likely not conceive on my own, and then be high risk. I had two surgeries, each a year apart for the endo. We knew the best chance was within a year after surgery, and we conceived on our honeymoon, 8 months after my second surgery. DS will be 4 in May. We were happy being OAD and figured it wouldn’t happen again because of my history, and didn’t want to go through the heartache of trying, but after 3.5 years, this happy surprise happened!

growingournest · January 2018

My DH and I dated for 4.5 yrs before getting married at 22. We planned on waiting a few years to have a baby, but I ended up pregnant the month after we got married- surprise!! We knew we definitely wanted to wait for #2 until after we were out of college, were settled into good jobs, and had a house. We’re 25 now and have both graduated, have great jobs, and bought a house a year ago, so we knew it was time! DS1 will also be 3 in a month, and we didn’t want a huge age gap between kiddos. We’re so excited to have the experience this time around of having baby while feeling like more settled adults haha!! It was hard last time with being in college- I had to go back to classes 5 days after we got out of the hospital from having DS1!

irenejean · January 2018

We started trying for a baby before the wedding.

I was 33 and DH was 45, we knew we wanted two kids, and DH said no newborns after he turned 50, so that kinda made us realize it was go time. It took us a few cycles before I got pregnant. We got married in October 2014 and DS was born in September 2015.

Mattel · February 2018

+1 to trying before we got married. My doctor at the time told me it was “now or never” and when I asked DH what he wanted for Christmas before he proposed he said a baby lol. He proposed that January, we got married in a November. We started actively trying in I think August or September. January after we got married we had a m/c and then we got pregnant with DD in June, 8 months after our wedding.

rklinge0 · February 2018

We got married when I was 27 years old, I knew I always wanted to have kids since I was little, I originally wanted 3. I talked hubby into being ready to try in September of 2014,I just turned 28 that summer. I had wanted to be under 30 because of risk factors (looking back I realize how ironic that was). We started trying and got a positive by end of the month. She was born Memorial Day 2015.
When she was born and going through ohs in 2015, I had sworn off having anymore. I was unsure if my heart could handle anymore issues. We ended up with a surprise pregnancy in 2016 ( we had dtd once and it was the only time we hadn't used protection since ttc dd )I had bought big sister shirts and everything but
Tw it ended in a miscarriage right before thanksgiving end tw. I immediately went back on b.c. once my levels were 0. I didn't want another pregnancy and needed some time to emotionally heal.
In June I had talked my husband into trying again (realizing it was probably best for our family to try and give her a sibling that she can learn from and she can teach) and went off birth control at the end of June, had one period off of it, got pregnant the first week in August. This will be our last child as I can't handle being high risk from the beginning of a pregnancy and haven't exactly loved how some of the obs and genetic counselors have treated me.

luna8433 · February 2018

@rklinge0 I have a may 15 baby too! He was born on the 30th. So just a few days after your DD.

bcliffee1 · February 2018

@priestess619 my story is similar to yours

my SO and I met April of 2016 and life just went by so quick, we bought a house in June of 2017 and I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant in September. Not a planned baby as we had just started traveling and bought the house we wanted to be married and settled more before having babies. But at the same time if it were up to my SO and we planned we would never had had a baby. We are so so excited to meet this little boy and have him be apart of our lives earlier than we had planned

rklinge0 · February 2018

@luna8433 were you in the May 15 group? My edd was June 2nd so I spent my time with the June group.

luna8433 · February 2018

@rklinge0 yes I was in the May group and occasionally peaked into June. I was due the 27th

AlphabetFish · February 2018

We were married about 3 years, together for 8, when we began to make plans for children. We actually stopped using birth control right around our 4 year anniversary. By our 5 year anniversary we had our little boy.

After our son turned 1, we stopped using birth control again. We had been married 6 years at this point. Our coming daughter is due shortly after our 7 year anniversary.

knottiedf1f23df3ce21d2f · February 2018

Started dating in highschool (1998) and married in 2003. Had our 1st in May 2010: A Boy! My unexpected hip fracture came in 2013 - exercise induced osteoporosis - put me in surgery on/off for 3+ years. Now, our 2nd is due April 1st (It's a Girl!!). Whew... #2 was a total surprise since I'm 36, had a billion pelvic xrays/CT scans that should count as a back-up method of birth control and I was on the pill daily since 2010. Yeah, an April Fools due date fits this pregnancy perfect

knottiec91e725aebadbe54 · February 2018

My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Two years into dating and living together my sister's twin girls (2 1/2 years old) were placed into state custody. This began the proceeding 8 years of relative care (back and forth). We always wanted children of our own, but could not stand the idea of bringing a baby into such an unknown and emotional situation. In 2015 we finally adopted the twins and got married (on the same day). We weren't trying and weren't not trying when life slowed down, then surprise!!! Our little guy is definitely worth the wait. We all can't wait to meet him.

GTKY: How long did you wait until you decided to have a child?

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