I am adopting / fostering OR want to adopt / foster - September

SaphireSweetie88 · September 2017

Are you thinking about adopting / fostering? Are you in the process of adopting/fostering? If so, please tell us more about yourself and your experiences so far.

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

-How are you feeling about the process right now?

-Any questions?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

-Anything else to add?

britters314 · September 2017

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Foster Care

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) Waiting for a placement

-How are you feeling about the process right now? I just hate all the waiting. However, I've learned from you all that the wait for a match through domestic adoption is even longer, so I am still feeling good about our decision to foster-to-adopt

-Any questions? Our agency told us that they get a lot less hotline calls and new children coming into care during the summer. Anyone else going through foster care hear something like that? I'm wondering if it's because of school or if it's just a weird local thing.

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? Nothing I haven't shared already.

-Anything else to add? Not right now. Just hoping that we get a call soon. Summer is pretty much over (kids are back in school after this weekend here) so if that trend is true they'll need to be placing more kids soon.

AnnieR81 · September 2017

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Domestic Adoption

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) Still working on marketing materials and waiting to be matched.

-How are you feeling about the process right now? Better than last time around. I think we finally landed on a good way to explain my living situation in which I am the legal adopting parent but my BF that I live with will play a significant role in parenting.

-Any questions? None right now.

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? In the Home Study process you should be more open than you intend to be in your adoption contract. For instance get approved for children up to 6 months even if you plan to contract for a newborn. You never know how time will change your preferences.

-Anything else to add? Not much. It's a holiday weekend here so I'm enjoying spreading out my weekend chores a little so I have time to visit with friends. We had a great barbecue today and I got to see friends I don't often see outside of my public speaking group.

AnnieR81 · September 2017

@britters314 My BF works for a local foster shelter and he says that he sees more kids being placed in foster homes from the shelter during summer because it's easier to move the kids around after school is out.

britters314 · September 2017

AnnieR81 said:

@britters314 My BF works for a local foster shelter and he says that he sees more kids being placed in foster homes from the shelter during summer because it's easier to move the kids around after school is out.

That's interesting. So that's the opposite of what our agency told us. Maybe it just depends on how each state or even each agency runs things.

AnnieR81 · September 2017

britters314 said:

AnnieR81 said:

@britters314 My BF works for a local foster shelter and he says that he sees more kids being placed in foster homes from the shelter during summer because it's easier to move the kids around after school is out.

That's interesting. So that's the opposite of what our agency told us. Maybe it just depends on how each state or even each agency runs things.

Yes. I'm sure that each state or agency has their own system.

SoonToBeMommaHowe · September 2017

Just finished Home Study #2, just one 2.5 hr session left!
However our SW mentioned getting us permitted a couple weeks early and submitted our name into a matching pool for an 8mo baby boy whose mom just left the state and said she doesn't want any further attempts at reunification. So they want to place the baby with a preadoptive family since it's looking like reunification won't happen and all relatives have declined care.
That match meeting is tentatively scheduled for Friday, so I'm just saying my prayers and trying not to get ahead of myself.

mommabmb · September 2017

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?
We are adopting from foster care in GA.

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
Placed for 22 months, pending finalization

-How are you feeling about the process right now?
It is slow, but we have been FPs a little while and are used to the state timeline.

-Any questions?
I don't think so. My cw is amazing.

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
Just be patient. And LEARN ABOUT TRAUMA. Too many FP enter the system not understanding trauma and how it changes parenting requirements.

-Anything else to add?
We are just ready to wrap up the process. We continue to foster with no plans as of now to adopt again (out of space in our house and I'm pregnant)

SoonToBeMommaHowe · September 2017

@mommabmb I just read your intro! So you have four under 4 and one on the way?! You must have your hands full. I bet your house is always full of excitement. We're going on year 4 of nothing but a dog, I'm so ready for some noise and chaos!

mommabmb · September 2017

SoonToBeMommaHowe said:

@mommabmb I just read your intro! So you have four under 4 and one on the way?! You must have your hands full. I bet your house is always full of excitement. We're going on year 4 of nothing but a dog, I'm so ready for some noise and chaos!

We actually have a 4yo BS and 2yo BD and our FS is 5 and our FD is 2. So, 4 kids under 6 and one on the way.

It is a little crazy!

singlemommanbean · January 2018

As a birth mother who is reading all these impatient adoptee mommies whines of impatience- I get it, waiting is hard. But on the other end- it's much uglier. Don't complain. Be thankful that you have the money to go through this process of adoption because I know first hand how expensive it is after talking with and getting close to the prospective parents that are going to adopt my baby. Please take this time you have waiting to prepare yourself for a life time of helping your child understand adoption from the moment it first reaches your arms. Don't lie or hide things from it- a mother sacrificed and loved carrying that precious baby you are holding. I had to put college on hold for a whole year while I carried my baby. I sacrificed my time, my money, and luckily my parents were kind enough to care for me but other women out there are not so lucky. Take this time that you have to yourself to write to future baby, prepare for future baby, and pray for him/her... To pray for the woman carrying that baby too.... That special woman out there is doing a thankless job. I know. I have lived it for 8 and 1/2 months. You get no reward for your efforts- you give away the best you have so someone else can raise it and nurture it better than you can... Because sacrificial love for your baby is what it's about, so use your time wisely ladies. You never ever know when that precious baby will come. And decide on a name early please, because birth mothers will come up with a name for him/her and if you don't like it? TOUGH. She bore your child she should name it. Renaming a kid is rude, don't be THAT adoptive parent who thinks renaming a baby Someone else loved and chose to let him/her live inside them is ok.... That baby wouldn't be there without a birth mother. Respect her name that she chose for your sweet baby. It'll grow on you I promise... (Sorry my heart is breaking because my adoptive family I'm choosing isn't choosing my baby's name that I chose for her.. It's been hard)

tamalahoops · January 2018

@singlemommanbean Thank you so much for coming here and sharing your story. I can't imagine how you must be feeling as it looms closer to your due date. You are absolutely right, adoptive parents waiting to adopt are fortunate beyond measure to be able to afford adoption and raising a child. I try to remind myself of this everyday when I am feeling low about not being a mother yet. I completely agree about changing names. I hope that adopters on this page are reading your words and feeling the pain behind them and not just brushing them off because they are at odds with their own feelings. Changing a name takes away from your child as well, it takes away a part of them that ties them to their birth family.

I hope that you will stay and continue to participate. Your voice is an important one that is often overlooked in the adoption triad. I hope that you will feel comfortable and supported by all of the women here regardless of if you decide to place or not.

nikki2427 · January 2018

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nikki2427 · January 2018

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I am adopting / fostering OR want to adopt / foster - September

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