UO Thursday 1/18

May14th2011 · January 2018

I didn't see this started so I figured I'd start it-

I don't want celebrities to run for president. I'd fully support them if they ran for lower offices first, but just because you're popular and rich does not make you qualified to run a country.

lrichhx05 · January 2018

@May14th2011 I agree!

I get super annoyed by people who make motherhood seem like the best thing ever. I LOVE being a mom, but not all the time. This girl on my FB posts about how she thinks it's terrible when people complain about being a mom, and everyday she posts pictures of her kids and talks about how awesome they are and how much she loves them etc etc. Like is it really that great to you? Because I'm over here struggling and my 2 year old is on my last effing nerve so what am I missing here?

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@May14th2011 I don’t think celebs should be inherently disqualified, but I don’t think their celebrity-ness should be a qualification either. Ditto doctors, businessmen, etc.

May14th2011 · January 2018

@lrichhx05 yes! I love my kids, but also they drive me nuts.

dinodna3 · January 2018

@lrichhx05 I feel like people who post stuff like that constantly are unhappy and just want to project this perfect life to be world. I love my kids but they drive me nuts all the time.

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@dinodna3 yeah or they have something to prove. I have a friend who moved to NY from the south for work, and I know that she mostly hates it, but she pretends on social media to love it because I don't think she wants her family in the south to know that perhaps they were right that she wouldn't like it. Not that people necessarily regret having kids, but they're not rainbows and sunshine 24/7.

RatParade · January 2018

I guess this isn't that unpopular based off the discussion, but I don't like it when anyone states their affection via social media, whether to their child or spouse or whoever. Like, I'll post pics of MH and I sometimes, but I never go on about how much I love him or anything. It seems weird to me, like you need other people to know who you love.

izza2 · January 2018

I definitely think people who constantly post about how happy they are, how much they love their job/spouse/children, etc. aren't actually as happy as they're trying to make people think.

I.e.: My brother and SIL basically hate each other, but won't admit it. She's cheated on him, he trash talks her, etc. -- but they constantly post how much they love each other and how thankful they are of each other on FB.
Those posts that trash talk each other are usually taken down after an hour, but it's long enough that screenshots are taken and everyone sees it. He even complained about her need for him to validate how "great" she is online every day.

But I don't think that's an UO.

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@RatParade yes! It makes me cringe. If I put up a post about our anniversary or something, I'll caption it like, "I guess this guy's okay..."

RatParade · January 2018

@doxiemoxie212 Haha I do the same thing! When I posted a pic on our 10 year anniversary I just made a joke about still not knowing his middle name.

dinodna3 · January 2018

@izza2 yikes to your brother and SIL. I’ll never understand why people feel the need to publicly air their dirty laundry.

@doxiemoxie212 Idk why people have such an issue admitting they’re wrong. Like that’s how you learn and grow. Hate the south, move back. Why be unhappy?

momac1919 · January 2018

@lrichhx05 Amen! I love DD more than anything in the world, but this is the last thing I posted on social media about her...

ramblebee · January 2018

Has anyone seen the Nosedive eposode of Black Mirror? It's all about the social media fakeness, so good!

lrichhx05 · January 2018

@momac1919 lol! This is too true

ramennoodlegif · January 2018

@lrichhx05 DD doesn't let me forget about the time three months ago when I accidentally called her an @$#hole. Being a mom is absolutely a gift, but that does not mean mama doesn't sometimes lose her ish because her kids are crazy.

icecubeinthedesert · January 2018

Re: Facebook fascade. There is an acquaintance from high school that doesn't post much, but when he does it's often one of those obnoxious pictures with text and graphics along the lines of "I have the best wife in the world." Every time I see him post one of those, I figure either his wife hacked his account or he's in the doghouse.

May14th2011 · January 2018

Because DD insisted we watch Willy Wonka tonight (the original), I have another one -

Grandpa Joe is a terrible person. He lays around for 20 years letting his grandson survive on cabbage water soup and when something fun happens, he gets out of bed?
Get a job and support your family you lazy bum.
Also he uses tobacco, depleting their minimal resources further, without helping pay for it.

Amphibious22 · January 2018

@May14th2011 omg DH and I watched that movie last night and I was saying exactly the same thing! Like you can't get out of bed to help your practically starving child and grandchild, but the second you can tour a chocolate factory, you're doing a choreographed dance???

My UO I guess is that I don't like how secretive people get during their pregnancy. I know some people don't want unsolicited advice/opinions, but I just stand my ground. We announced the pregnancy at 13 and a half weeks, the gender the same week we found out, and are not shy about telling people his name will be Jack. My sister is also pregnant and doesn't want to post anything on social media and says she will post a picture of the baby after he/she is born. Idk, I just feel like not everything needs to be a secret/surprise. One exception is I definitely understand if someone has a history of loss or a high risk pregnancy, they might be more cautious to share information.

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@Amphibious22 I would never fault anyone if they’re genuinely uncomfortable sharing private details of their life with the world, but if it’s just societal pressure holding someone back then that generally bothers me. We also tell everyone her name will be Evelyn and people look at us like we have five heads for sharing before she’s born. But like, that’s her name. We call her it all the time. We talk about her (at least to each other) all the time. Why wouldn’t I tell people that? IDGAF if they dislike the name; they’re allowed. I feel like if it won’t hurt you to share, it’s nice to share. The more we’re all honest about what we’re going through (good and bad), the less alone someone else might feel. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

Amphibious22 · January 2018

@doxiemoxie212 completely agree! I'm getting a lot of confused looks when people ask if we've started thinking about names and I say, yeah his name is Jack. I also hate that people make aspects of their life/pregnancy into a cliffhanger. Like "One week from today we find out the gender.." "The cake is baked, what color is inside??" I'm like omg I don't care this much. I had a friend that didn't want to tell the name until after the baby was born, but would give everyone who asked a list of 5 names for them to guess. It just felt overdone.

lrichhx05 · January 2018

@Amphibious22 people who are super secretive about names bug me. I will say though, if this baby is a boy we most likely won't announce the name until after he's born because I can't see us deciding on a name before then. But, if we're having a girl I'll tell everyone her name will be Violet because we're dead set on it. And a list to guess from, really? Yeah, I don't care that much.

icecubeinthedesert · January 2018

@doxiemoxie212, for us, we're not sharing the name we pick (if we ever start discussing it ourselves) until the baby's born. Mostly because my MIL is not afraid of tearing down names and ruining them forever. It's not her decision, and I don't need her ruining it for me. Once it's official, it's too late and I'll own whatever we pick. The most recent example from my MIL that comes to mind is that she doesn't like DH's cousin's daughter's name. She's Penelope, nn Penny. MIL thinks that it makes the kid sound too cheap since it's the lowest denomination of money. I've never once thought about that name that way, and it doesn't sit right with me how she made it about perception of wealth/lower-classness.

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@icecubeinthedesert oh lawd that’s bonkers. That would send DH through the roof, but I’d honestly laugh and be like oh man, imma tell her every day that’s what you think of her. Lol I’m giggling. That’s so cray.

momlyfe29 · January 2018

We don’t share our kiddos names before they are born for the same reason @icecubeinthedesert stated. My MIL didn’t like what we named our son so she refuses to use his name. She will just call him baby or cowboy. So we mostly just don’t want to hear her isht for an entire pregnancy since we know how she will react to our little girls name.

Edited to add: we tell other people though. Just not her or anyone remotely close to MIL

buffalove1211 · January 2018

May14th2011 Haha yes! DH calls him the “4 time loser”… I cant remember the 4 reasons though lol.

My UO is that I don't mind if acquaintances touch my belly or comment on how the bump is looking/growing. I think it is endearing and shows they care!

buffalove1211 · January 2018

.....my comment posted twice and now i can't delete it... plz ignore!

buffalove1211 · January 2018

@Amphibious22 Agreed! Ugh its so refreshing when a friend just comes out and says the name without making a big fuss about it.

May14th2011 · January 2018

@Amphibious22 my friend refused to tell anyone her baby name because she was convinced that someone would steal it. The name ended up being #2 on most popular name list for like 3 years so basically everyone was using that name. I really rolled my eyes at her (mentally).

helenbz · January 2018

@Amphibious22 That’s funny...my UO is kind of the opposite

This culture of celebrity means people feel the need to over dramatically announce every detail of their pregnancy. Social media posts, pictures announcements, gender reveals. This experience is deeply personal and I plan to keep a piece of it just for me and my husband for the few remaining months of our family just being the two of us.

I just tell the people I care about and I talk about it on this app because I am learning a lot and I love seeing everyone’s progress and hearing different views/options.

I don’t judge others ...it’s just not where I plan to focus my efforts.

dinodna3 · January 2018

I’m the literal worst at naming babies. Like we didn’t even have a short list of names when we went to the hospital with DD and DS. I just feel like they are all wrong until I see the baby and then I can find one that sounds nice. But this makes people so mad. They just like can’t handle the fact that I have no idea what we’re gonna name the baby.

krash_ · January 2018

We are team green so we don't have specific names yet but we do know that if it's a boy he will be David and we have told people that.

We had a friend that wouldn't tell people the baby's name until after he was born. I had another friend that had a baby around the same time and I knew what his name was so I got him a personalized receiving blanket. My friend that refused to tell people the name made a comment about how it would have been nice if someone got her something that was personalized. I reminded her that we couldn't because we didn't know his name until after and she said that someone could have gotten it after he was born. *eye roll*

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@dinodna3 I always figured I would wait until baby is born to name him/her because I’m an only child (so no other frame of reference), and even though I was born 2 weeks late, my parents still hadn’t named me 2 weeks after that. I always figured that was the norm. But then Evelyn felt like fate so. TBD if any future children will even have names; seems at least one of us hates every single other name.

PatientlyWaiting10 · January 2018

As far as sharing names before/after baby is born - I don't think I've known ANYONE recently to share the baby name before baby. Seriously. I'm thinking about it and can't think of anyone I know who has shared. We don't share either because I like there to be one surprise. DH doesn't even want us to share gender with our family just to be a butthead. lol He thinks it'd be funny to keep a secret and torture them.

We haven't shared anything on social media about this baby and I am not entirely sure why we haven't; part of it was that I was having some anxiety about the 20 week a/s not going well and the other part is that it's kind of fun to not have the whole world know. That's hard to do these days. We will post something eventually, but all of our closest friends and family know anyway since they got our Christmas card and that's what's most important to me. DH's mom asked after Christmas if she could post it on FB and I got upset at DH. Like why would she think SHE can post it before even I do? Call me irrational but that's not your news to blast all over social media. Just MHO.

ffw0617 · January 2018

I guess my UO would be I don't understand the entire why do grandparents want to post my child/ about my child outrage. In context they are probably just as excited as you about this baby. I don't get it. I told my mom last, after my father, step mother, siblings and grandparents, bc I knew she;d be so excited she'd tell the entire family before I could. I'd never expect anything less, she doesn't have social media but if she did I sure it would be all grandkids all the time. My mom literally called crying bc my sister said my niece was a little sad and my mom drove 6 hours bc she was sad my niece was sad. I mean in context this is a huge deal, probably the best thing that happened in their lives in years. I've seen grandparents who move across country, even quit their jobs, finally retire once they have grandkids. IDK maybe its bc I was SUPER close with my grandparents and they died when I was 18, so I get the grandkid craze. Whose to say how long they'll get to have in that kid's life?

dinodna3 · January 2018

@ffw0617 I’m glad my parents and ILs adore our kids but I don’t want them blasting pictures of them all over Facebook because we don’t do that. We occasionally post pictures of our kids on Facebook but very sparingly. I mostly use instragram and have that on private so only a few people can see. It’s mostly just for my own photo editing pleasure.

Speaking of social media, I hate when people tag you at a location without your knowledge. I have my account setup to review everything people tag me in but it still annoys the crap out of me.

also, random question but do you think it would be weird for me to post an announcement when DH posted on on Monday but didn’t tag me in it? We have a lot of friend overlap but obviously not all my friends are his too.

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@dinodna3 same exact announcement or different announcement? (and instagram or fb or both?)

krash_ · January 2018

@dinodna3 you could just share his announcement. But I don't think it would be weird if you posted your own personal announcement especially if it was different.

But also, how rude! YH should have tagged you! Hello, you're the one growing the baby!

murraydog2008 · January 2018

We are also in the secret name camp. Mostly because we don't completely decide on a name until we see the baby and meet them. We also don't want to hear other peoples opinions on our name choices. We also have a family that can be very outspoken and judgmental, but if you hand them a sweet little baby and say "This is baby CrazyName" they'll go....awwwwww what a sweet baby and that name is perfect for it! So we stick with tight lips in our house.

PatientlyWaiting10 · January 2018

@dinodna3 just tag yourself in the announcement. I think it will pop up on your newsfeed then like it was a new post so your friends will see it.

ffw0617 · January 2018

@dinodna3 I posted my announcement on facebook the day before Thanksgiving (I didn't tag him & we aren't friends on social media, haven't been for nearly 4 years) and DH posted the same announcement on Thanksgiving. Only about 10% of my fb friends are his friends so I don't think its weird. Its a new set of people finding out.

dinodna3 · January 2018

His announcement was “and another one!” with the ultrasound picture. I’d probably post something different, cuter, proabably including our kids.

@doxiemoxie212 It would be facebook only. All my insta friends are my fb friends too.

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