Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? DD is pretty spoiled as the first grandkid on both sides. I’m hoping getting a cousin later this week will get her used to sharing grandma and grandpa. Over Christmas my mom held my cousin’s newborn and she freaked out and had to sit in the same chair with my mom. I’m hoping she adjusts.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: my sister is my best friend. I can’t wait to watch my kids play together!
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? I hope to eat less ice cream so I don’t have another 9lb+ baby.
How old are your other kids? 18 month old daughter
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? I'm really nervous how DD will handle having to share Mama. She cries when I pretend to hold even her baby dolls. I'm also nervous about how I'll handle a toddler and newborn.. sometimes I get really frustrated/impatient with just one kid, and she is pretty good most of the time. The no sleep during the newborn phase was horrible, but at least I could nap when DD slept.. don't think I'll be able to do that this time. Also, my husband is a medical resident with a crazy demanding schedule. I know he'll help as much as he can, but I still think that I'll have to take on a lot of the childcare responsibility.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I'm so excited to see how they will interact with each other. I have two younger sisters pretty close in age to me. We were best friends when we were little.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same?
I plan to let my mom/MIL help more. With DD, I really wanted to prove that I could do this myself (esp right after getting home from the hospital) and didn't take enough time to rest and recover. I think it really delayed my recovery. I also hope to be braver about taking the kids out my myself (and nursing in public!)
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? 1. Lack of sleep. DS still doesn't SSTN so it's great knowing that I'm signing up for possibly another 17 or possibly more months of that! 2. Lack of space. We live in a 2 bedroom so we either really need to ramp up our house hunt efforts (unlikely) or accept that baby2 will sleep in our room until he or she can SSTN, which as I mentioned, might be a while. Also theres no room in our room for a crib so that'll be a fun challenge... 3. I'm worried about how I'll do when there's 2 of them and only 1 of me. I already feel a bit overwhelmed at the thought of starting ALL OVER when we're in such a good place with DS. 4. Money. Always money. 2 kids in daycare?! What are we thinking?!
@lilsebastian I have the lack of space concern, too. We also live in a 2 BR house and I'm trying to figure out the logistics of having the kids share once I'm ready to kick #2 out of our room. I'm planning on doing a pack n play in our room rather than a full crib in the beginning. Will that fit in your room? Also, DD refused to sleep in anything but the rock n play the fist 4 months of her life, so I might not even set up the pack n play right away to save even more space in the beginning and just use the rock n play beside my bed.
@lilsebastian I TOTALLY feel you on the 2 kids in daycare aspect. The cost is astronomical ...I keep telling DH that when all the kids are in school were gonna feel like were rich from all we save from daycare.....I wish there was a different way to care for the kids but mama gotta work.
BFP #2 4/3/15= ectopic treated with methotrexate 5/1, YET ruptured 5/18/15= One Tube Wonder!
2 Cycles of Femara, Ovidrel, & Progesterone= BFP #3 DS born 5/17/16 TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free) BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17 BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!! DS and DD born 8/21/18
How old are your other kids? 20 months on Wednesday
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? DS was such a dream, other than frequent illnesses from daycare, once he got tubes this past September his health has drastically improved. He started sleeping through the night at a decent time and was always a good eater, so I am just paranoid because everyone keeps telling me baby #2 is not going to be so easy. I also worry, like others have said, about how I'm going to get rest while minding a by then 2.5 year old and being up all night with an infant (with DS I slept when he slept in the day). Going to need to find some reinforcements or hit up the grandmas more often.... But ALSO on the negative side DS is going through a "Throwing" phase where he throws toys far/hard and is swatting or kicking his legs at dogs/people...hoping its a phase he grows out of soon but do worry about him injuring baby.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I was never very close with my older brother. I am hoping since these two will be a little bit closer in age than we were that maybe they will develop a close relationship (I know this is not always up to me). DS is very sweet and has been practicing loving on a baby doll so I hope he will love his new real baby too.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? I think things went all right before, we BF up to about a year and that saved so much $ so hopefully can do the same (esp with double daycare costs). One thing I definitely need to work on is my communicating with DH. There were so dark days (nights rather) where since I had the boobs I would be up 3..4...5... times per night feeding/getting baby back to sleep and DH would not/could not hear baby stirring so I would get upset and feel I had to do it all by myself. I also felt guilty waking him to help me because he worked a normal 8-10 hour 1st shift job and at first I was on Mat leave, and then I only worked 2-3 days a week, so I felt I had to do it all. Im a semi control freak and a little OCD/particular, so I've learned there are more ways to do things than just my way, and DH is plenty capable, I just need to let him know. But also, its the whole "I want you to want to buy the lemons" scene from the Break Up- I want him to notice things and take it upon himself to do things rather than me having to tell him sometimes, but thats mind-reading and sometimes unhealthy expectations, so I need to work on that too.
BFP #2 4/3/15= ectopic treated with methotrexate 5/1, YET ruptured 5/18/15= One Tube Wonder!
2 Cycles of Femara, Ovidrel, & Progesterone= BFP #3 DS born 5/17/16 TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free) BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17 BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!! DS and DD born 8/21/18
@Mandamay1414 we might do a pnp, it'll fit, but it would also block off access to the closet. Or we might do a mini crib. Ds refused to sleep in a pnp until he was about 10 months old, so i worry that a pnp might not work.
Which made me think of another challenge - seeing baby #2 as his or her independent self rather than DS version 2. It's so hard to not assume that #2 will be like #1 when that's all I've experienced.
@Jyoung327 I struggled with the same thing with my DH. I also breastfed and basically took on the whole responsibility for getting baby to sleep for the night and any MOTN wake ups. My husband is also a really deep sleeper so he would never automatically wake up if my son was crying. I really hope to communicate better this time around about what I need from him to avoid feeling like all the baby care rests on my shoulders. Much easier said than done, but I think my H will be more confident with soothing skills now!
@lilsebastian I TOTALLY feel you on the 2 kids in daycare aspect. The cost is astronomical ...I keep telling DH that when all the kids are in school were gonna feel like were rich from all we save from daycare.....I wish there was a different way to care for the kids but mama gotta work.
THIS. I only work part time so the kids would only need daycare for 2-3 days a week, but even this basically takes up all the income I would make working. I love the work/life balance of being part time. Honestly, it would probably be more cost efficient to not work until at least one of them is in school, but it would be so hard for me to get back into pharmacy after taking that much time off. I guess as long as I'm not losing money by working I'll consider it worth it.
@mandamay1414 I also work only 2-3 days per week but honestly I dont know how SAHM's do it... I need work to keep some identity and to get out of the house, plus I know DS loves "school" and all his little friends...the days he is home with me he gets bored pretty easy and we have to get out of the house at least once a day because they keep him so busy there. I am hoping to use grandparents a little more here and there with the new baby at first to hold off on having 2 in daycare at once as long as possible...but I also plan to keep DS in daycare 2 days while on maternity leave 1)for sanity/naps, and 2) for him to keep his play time and friends and have fun, so that will be an added expense still. ughhh the struggle is real. Ive been thinking about working extra before baby comes to make up for it and have a cushion, but Im 6 weeks and already needing naps so Im worried its gonna be a real struggle.
BFP #2 4/3/15= ectopic treated with methotrexate 5/1, YET ruptured 5/18/15= One Tube Wonder!
2 Cycles of Femara, Ovidrel, & Progesterone= BFP #3 DS born 5/17/16 TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free) BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17 BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!! DS and DD born 8/21/18
@Jyoung327 - you've basically described my life. I couldn't even do 12 weeks of mat leave without losing my mind last time. And like you said, DD loves her teachers and all the activities she does at school. I'm keeping her in school after #2 comes to keep her routine and to keep my sanity (like you said). Plus, I love the cuddling/bonding time I had with DD when she was a newborn, so I'd like to have some one-on-one time with #2 as well. Another bummer is that I'm a casual employee, so I don't get any benefits/paid FMLA this time. I'm going to do my best to save up what I would make in 8-12 weeks of work before this babe gets here to soften the financial blow.
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Just working to discipline through the terrific twos!!! I often wonder if I'll be able to handle two, but I trust that the big man upstairs has my back.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I love my kiddo and I'm excited to do this again without having a relocation hanging over my head.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? I want to have the room ready early, and to really enjoy my leave off.
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
We are in the throws of potty training so I’m dreading the potty training regression right around when DS could enter preschool... he’s doing an awesome job I just don’t know how that will all look once a baby is in the mix
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
Cannot wait to add a 2nd to the mix, there’s so many things a sibling helps you learn that cannot be taught so I want that badly for my DS
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same?
I hope to chill out with my DH and let him parent the way he wants. Hoping to breastfeed better/longer, but not going to beat myself up if I can’t. Savoring the moments. Taking more pictures and videos that first year.
How far along are you? 7+2 How old are your other kids? 21 months on Thursday Challenges or concerns about being a second time mom? Worried how DD will react to a sibling. She's a mommy's girl and is used to getting all of my attention when I'm home. She's struggling now with me being as tired and sick as I am and never wants DH to change her diaper or put her to bed. Current joys/happy thoughts I can't wait for her to have a sibling. My older brother and I were such buddies growing up and I want that for her too. What do you plan to do differently this time? Not let people make me feel bad for not breast feeding. I have a cardiac condition that requires medication that makes breast feeding not an option. When people asked I was always really quick to bring up my medical issue because I thought they were judging. Not going to let that happen this time. They can side eye all they want because I know I will be doing what's best for my child.
How far along are you? 5 weeks 4 days or 6 weeks (not positive due to changing cycle lengths!). Ultrasound scheduled for 2/5.
How old are your other kids? 19 mo son
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Our house is also fairly small so between the current nursery and guest room (which would be nursery #2) I'm worried about noise. If you're in the guest room, you can hear my son talking to himself if he wakes up during the night so I assume its the same the other way! Might do some interior wall insulating to muffle noise...
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: We had a rocky road the last few months with high FSH and low ovarian reserve and limited options for fertility treatment. So the fact that I got a BFP again is a shock and an answer to multiple prayers and fingers being crossed!
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? We found out when we tried to switch to formula at 9 months that my son had a dairy intolerance. In hindsight he was likely reacting to me EATING dairy and nursing when we thought he had acid reflux. With #2 I'd likely cut out dairy while nursing from the start in the hopes of avoiding the puke-fest and amount of spit up my son was capable of! He was also a super early teether which affected his taking bottles when I was at work (leading to lots of midnight nursing sessions) so I'm just steeling myself to that possibility again and remembering that it does pass and they DO sleep eventually...
Sorry if this is a repeat question and I missed it, but are there any former team greeners who are planning on finding out this go around? Or reverse, anyone who found out last time, but plans to be team green this time?
@bms46 Formula is an AMAZING thing. And I get so annoyed when people act like it's poison. It's incredible how so much mom culture flipped so fast from being pro formula to pro breastfeeding and anti-formula. Everyone should make the choices that will keep their babies and parents healthiest. End of story.
@megnwingate which did you prefer? I'm assuming not knowing? We were team green last time, but I have a bigger urge to find out this go around. Granted I have, oh, 16 weeks to change my mind a million times.
@lilsebastian team green hands down. My husband missed #2’s birth because he was at work and had to wait in a helicopter to bring him in (works offshore). Announcing to him that #2 was a girl and the look on his face was the best. I hope that he makes it in on time when I go into labor with #3.
@lilsebastian we were team green and will be again. DH is adamant about being team green, I would prefer to find out but I definitely couldn't keep it a secret and I guess team green was ok. I did enjoy taking all the old wives quizzes to determine boy/girl
@lilsebastian we were team green last time and will be again this time. Having H say "That's a big boy!" only to hear it was a (really big) girl is a memory I will never forget!
@lilsebastian Yes! We were team green last time and are thinking we'll find out this time. The moment was amazing last time when DH said "It's a boy!", but I'd like to do my own social experiment and see if I like a 'Family Present" announcement just as much or less.
It worked out great the first time because all of our essentials are non gender specific - all we'll need this time is clothes!
@bms46 Have you ever considered a sound machine? Our house is super echoey (lots of ceramic tile and a 2 story foyer) and DS’s room is right over the kitchen (lots of noise while cooking). We have a Dohm sound machine and it drowns alllll of that out. It’s amazing! We will be getting one for #2 for sure, though their room will be much quieter due to it’s location (over the rarely used dining room).
@lilsebastian Team green this time and definitely want to be Team green again. I can’t imagine it any other way. Plus, it drives everyone nuts that we don’t find out, which I take great pleasure in!
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same?
4+4 - total newbie .
4 and 6, so I'm totally out of the baby phase and have forgotten everything.
My biggest concern right now is how my older kids will adjust to a baby changing our dynamic - making sure everyone gets the attention they need and feels loved and secure.
We haven't told our kids yet, but my daughter, the 6 year old, has been begging for a baby for years - I can't wait to see them with a baby.
I'm a pretty relaxed mom, very go with the flow, but because my orders are pretty scheduled with school and activities, I know this one will need to be a little more scheduled (more sleep training, nap strictness, etc.).
@megnwingate which did you prefer? I'm assuming not knowing? We were team green last time, but I have a bigger urge to find out this go around. Granted I have, oh, 16 weeks to change my mind a million times.
I was team pink x2 and then team green x1 (and had a boy!). I have found that team green people tend to say it's so much better, but I don't have a big preference. Sure it was amazing to find out I was having a son as he was laid on my chest, but I think it was really just amazing that my son was being laid on my chest. The first half of pregnancy sucks so much with the puking and exhaustion, it's kind of fun to have something fun to look forward to in the middle of pregnancy. I think we'll be team green again this time only because H prefers it. I'm very meh on it. Both are fun.
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
Hey guys! I'm late on this. I was here early on, but then when nausea kicks in, I tend to avoid TB. I think I have a bad association from last pregnancies.
Anyway: How far along are you? 7.5 ish
How old are your other kids? The girls are 6 and 4. My son is 16 months.
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? It's just hard to feel so miserable and try to pretend to be normal for the kids. I have to try to hide puking from my 6 year old because it freaks her out.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I love my first three so much. Can't wait to add another crazy little person to the family.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? I'll be working a lot less so I'm excited to be home more. Other than that I plan to be about the same mom that I am now.
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
Team green first time and a cake reveal 2nd time (really to help my first son prepare for being a big brother). Both are so special but we will be green again (for this last time)..
both are so special really! We just thought team green was really really fun
You team greeners amaze me! I don't think I have the discipline to not look. We found out with both and told family. Maybe we will find out and not tell this time *evil laugh* Joking aside, I do kind of wonder how crazy people would get if it was a girl. I feel like we'd have tutus coming out of our ears (it would be the first girl for anyone)
I agree @lumosmaxima ! I wish I was more go with the flow and could be team green. That does sound like an awesome moment finding out if it's a boy or girl at birth. But I'm too big of a control freak I think. I want to know everything about everything and can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl this time! Also I wonder, how do you refer to the baby throughout pregnancy? I'm already having trouble saying "it" instead of he/she. Lol.
I agree @lumosmaxima ! I wish I was more go with the flow and could be team green. That does sound like an awesome moment finding out if it's a boy or girl at birth. But I'm too big of a control freak I think. I want to know everything about everything and can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl this time! Also I wonder, how do you refer to the baby throughout pregnancy? I'm already having trouble saying "it" instead of he/she. Lol.
This is me exactly. DH tried to entertain it this time around saying we have 2 boys and a girl so we have all the stuff. We should keep it a surprise this time. My response “hell no get away from me”. Haven’t heard anything about team green since.
I ended up being a control freak about everything else because DH was adamantly team green. Lol I didn't get any surprises at the baby shower because I was constantly monitoring the registry
You team greeners amaze me! I don't think I have the discipline to not look. We found out with both and told family. Maybe we will find out and not tell this time *evil laugh* Joking aside, I do kind of wonder how crazy people would get if it was a girl. I feel like we'd have tutus coming out of our ears (it would be the first girl for anyone)
@lumosmaxima how is this for discipline...at my job I have unlimited access to getting an ultrasound whenever I want. With my last pregnancy, a few people knew but I refused. I had a friend go buy a going home outfit and I drove around with the bag holding the outfit in my car for 2+ weeks. Lol.
@megnwingate that is amazing self control. I am a staunch team green person, but that's because I need to have self control for an hour during the anatomy scan and then I have no choice. I can make it the hour, but hats off to you!!
@megnwingate wow that is seriously impressive! Maybe knowing you could have a peek anytime takes some of the thrill out of it? Probably not haha. I'd be like, ok everyone going for my daily lunch break and baby scan!
@abundantlilacs friends of ours who have been team green said "the baby" a lot. "The baby is kicking like crazy", "when the baby is born...", "the baby is the size of a pumpkin and I can't handle being pregnant for a single second longer"...etc
I really do love the idea of the surprise. This is likely our last baby so if we are going to do it, this is our chance!
We are definitely finding out but I am seriously considering not telling other people. I would tell my parents but not sure if my mom can keep a secret. My daughter got some really over the top outfits that I had to give away due to excess frilliness (I can only handle so much pink and ruffles), and my sister just had a boy so we are very set on clothes! We need another crib and a double stroller and that’s it, so if people buy us a thousand clothes without gift receipts they are all getting donated.
@megnwingate That is amazing self-discipline. We were team green last time and I loved it, but not sure I could have resisted in your position! We're team green again this time. I would have liked to find out, but my husband is staunchly team green. Since I enjoyed it last time too I was easily convinced. Plus, like @Wishilivedinflorida, I love how much it drives people crazy that we don't know lol
@Spylon Almost everyone we've told so far has asked us to find out with this one, lol. Nope, it was too much fun to piss you guys all off last time! Andplusalso- I hate pink and ruffles, so if it's a girl I wouldn't want anyone to know that, even me, because I might accidentally slip.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@Spylon@pourmeamocktail we are also of the repeat team green variety. Honestly one of my favorite parts is pissing off people who think they need to know haha! We have a boy already, have lots of gender neutral small clothes, and I too despise all things pink and fluffy!!!
Re: STM+ Discussion w/o 1/10
How old are your other kids? 14 mo on Friday
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? DD is pretty spoiled as the first grandkid on both sides. I’m hoping getting a cousin later this week will get her used to sharing grandma and grandpa. Over Christmas my mom held my cousin’s newborn and she freaked out and had to sit in the same chair with my mom. I’m hoping she adjusts.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: my sister is my best friend. I can’t wait to watch my kids play together!
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? I hope to eat less ice cream so I don’t have another 9lb+ baby.
4+2
How old are your other kids?
18 month old daughter
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
I'm really nervous how DD will handle having to share Mama. She cries when I pretend to hold even her baby dolls. I'm also nervous about how I'll handle a toddler and newborn.. sometimes I get really frustrated/impatient with just one kid, and she is pretty good most of the time. The no sleep during the newborn phase was horrible, but at least I could nap when DD slept.. don't think I'll be able to do that this time. Also, my husband is a medical resident with a crazy demanding schedule. I know he'll help as much as he can, but I still think that I'll have to take on a lot of the childcare responsibility.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I'm so excited to see how they will interact with each other. I have two younger sisters pretty close in age to me. We were best friends when we were little.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same?
I plan to let my mom/MIL help more. With DD, I really wanted to prove that I could do this myself (esp right after getting home from the hospital) and didn't take enough time to rest and recover. I think it really delayed my recovery. I also hope to be braver about taking the kids out my myself (and nursing in public!)
How old are your other kids? 16ish months
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
1. Lack of sleep. DS still doesn't SSTN so it's great knowing that I'm signing up for possibly another 17 or possibly more months of that!
2. Lack of space. We live in a 2 bedroom so we either really need to ramp up our house hunt efforts (unlikely) or accept that baby2 will sleep in our room until he or she can SSTN, which as I mentioned, might be a while. Also theres no room in our room for a crib so that'll be a fun challenge...
3. I'm worried about how I'll do when there's 2 of them and only 1 of me. I already feel a bit overwhelmed at the thought of starting ALL OVER when we're in such a good place with DS.
4. Money. Always money. 2 kids in daycare?! What are we thinking?!
TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free)
BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17
BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!!
DS and DD born 8/21/18
6 weeks today
How old are your other kids?
20 months on Wednesday
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
DS was such a dream, other than frequent illnesses from daycare, once he got tubes this past September his health has drastically improved. He started sleeping through the night at a decent time and was always a good eater, so I am just paranoid because everyone keeps telling me baby #2 is not going to be so easy. I also worry, like others have said, about how I'm going to get rest while minding a by then 2.5 year old and being up all night with an infant (with DS I slept when he slept in the day). Going to need to find some reinforcements or hit up the grandmas more often.... But ALSO on the negative side DS is going through a "Throwing" phase where he throws toys far/hard and is swatting or kicking his legs at dogs/people...hoping its a phase he grows out of soon but do worry about him injuring baby.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I was never very close with my older brother. I am hoping since these two will be a little bit closer in age than we were that maybe they will develop a close relationship (I know this is not always up to me). DS is very sweet and has been practicing loving on a baby doll so I hope he will love his new real baby too.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same?
I think things went all right before, we BF up to about a year and that saved so much $ so hopefully can do the same (esp with double daycare costs). One thing I definitely need to work on is my communicating with DH. There were so dark days (nights rather) where since I had the boobs I would be up 3..4...5... times per night feeding/getting baby back to sleep and DH would not/could not hear baby stirring so I would get upset and feel I had to do it all by myself. I also felt guilty waking him to help me because he worked a normal 8-10 hour 1st shift job and at first I was on Mat leave, and then I only worked 2-3 days a week, so I felt I had to do it all. Im a semi control freak and a little OCD/particular, so I've learned there are more ways to do things than just my way, and DH is plenty capable, I just need to let him know. But also, its the whole "I want you to want to buy the lemons" scene from the Break Up- I want him to notice things and take it upon himself to do things rather than me having to tell him sometimes, but thats mind-reading and sometimes unhealthy expectations, so I need to work on that too.
TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free)
BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17
BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!!
DS and DD born 8/21/18
Which made me think of another challenge - seeing baby #2 as his or her independent self rather than DS version 2. It's so hard to not assume that #2 will be like #1 when that's all I've experienced.
TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free)
BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17
BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!!
DS and DD born 8/21/18
How old are your other kids? 22 months
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Just working to discipline through the terrific twos!!! I often wonder if I'll be able to handle two, but I trust that the big man upstairs has my back.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I love my kiddo and I'm excited to do this again without having a relocation hanging over my head.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? I want to have the room ready early, and to really enjoy my leave off.
6+4 unconfirmed
How old are your other kids?
2.5
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
We are in the throws of potty training so I’m dreading the potty training regression right around when DS could enter preschool... he’s doing an awesome job I just don’t know how that will all look once a baby is in the mix
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
Cannot wait to add a 2nd to the mix, there’s so many things a sibling helps you learn that cannot be taught so I want that badly for my DS
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same?
I hope to chill out with my DH and let him parent the way he wants. Hoping to breastfeed better/longer, but not going to beat myself up if I can’t. Savoring the moments. Taking more pictures and videos that first year.
7+2
How old are your other kids?
21 months on Thursday
Challenges or concerns about being a second time mom?
Worried how DD will react to a sibling. She's a mommy's girl and is used to getting all of my attention when I'm home. She's struggling now with me being as tired and sick as I am and never wants DH to change her diaper or put her to bed.
Current joys/happy thoughts
I can't wait for her to have a sibling. My older brother and I were such buddies growing up and I want that for her too.
What do you plan to do differently this time?
Not let people make me feel bad for not breast feeding. I have a cardiac condition that requires medication that makes breast feeding not an option. When people asked I was always really quick to bring up my medical issue because I thought they were judging. Not going to let that happen this time. They can side eye all they want because I know I will be doing what's best for my child.
How old are your other kids? 19 mo son
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Our house is also fairly small so between the current nursery and guest room (which would be nursery #2) I'm worried about noise. If you're in the guest room, you can hear my son talking to himself if he wakes up during the night so I assume its the same the other way! Might do some interior wall insulating to muffle noise...
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: We had a rocky road the last few months with high FSH and low ovarian reserve and limited options for fertility treatment. So the fact that I got a BFP again is a shock and an answer to multiple prayers and fingers being crossed!
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same? We found out when we tried to switch to formula at 9 months that my son had a dairy intolerance. In hindsight he was likely reacting to me EATING dairy and nursing when we thought he had acid reflux. With #2 I'd likely cut out dairy while nursing from the start in the hopes of avoiding the puke-fest and amount of spit up my son was capable of! He was also a super early teether which affected his taking bottles when I was at work (leading to lots of midnight nursing sessions) so I'm just steeling myself to that possibility again and remembering that it does pass and they DO sleep eventually...
BFP#1: 11/15/2010 * Missed M/C 12/28 * D&C 12/29/2010
BFP#5 12/26/2017 *SURPRISE* Due 09/02/2018
BFP#1: 11/15/2010 * Missed M/C 12/28 * D&C 12/29/2010
BFP#5 12/26/2017 *SURPRISE* Due 09/02/2018
@lilsebastian Team green this time and definitely want to be Team green again. I can’t imagine it any other way. Plus, it drives everyone nuts that we don’t find out, which I take great pleasure in!
4 and 6, so I'm totally out of the baby phase and have forgotten everything.
My biggest concern right now is how my older kids will adjust to a baby changing our dynamic - making sure everyone gets the attention they need and feels loved and secure.
We haven't told our kids yet, but my daughter, the 6 year old, has been begging for a baby for years - I can't wait to see them with a baby.
I'm a pretty relaxed mom, very go with the flow, but because my orders are pretty scheduled with school and activities, I know this one will need to be a little more scheduled (more sleep training, nap strictness, etc.).
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
Anyway:
How far along are you? 7.5 ish
How old are your other kids? The girls are 6 and 4. My son is 16 months.
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
It's just hard to feel so miserable and try to pretend to be normal for the kids. I have to try to hide puking from my 6 year old because it freaks her out.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I love my first three so much. Can't wait to add another crazy little person to the family.
GTKY: What do you hope or plan to do differently this time around? The same?
I'll be working a lot less so I'm excited to be home more. Other than that I plan to be about the same mom that I am now.
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
both are so special really! We just thought team green was really really fun
BFP#1: 11/15/2010 * Missed M/C 12/28 * D&C 12/29/2010
BFP#5 12/26/2017 *SURPRISE* Due 09/02/2018
I just call "it" the baby.
@abundantlilacs friends of ours who have been team green said "the baby" a lot. "The baby is kicking like crazy", "when the baby is born...", "the baby is the size of a pumpkin and I can't handle being pregnant for a single second longer"...etc
I really do love the idea of the surprise. This is likely our last baby so if we are going to do it, this is our chance!
We're team green again this time. I would have liked to find out, but my husband is staunchly team green. Since I enjoyed it last time too I was easily convinced. Plus, like @Wishilivedinflorida, I love how much it drives people crazy that we don't know lol
BFP #1: 9/12/2015
DD: 6/1/2016
BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
We have a boy already, have lots of gender neutral small clothes, and I too despise all things pink and fluffy!!!