@hayhay93 just adding that I am glad you are doing what's best for you and baby!
@lindsayleigh1989 just saw on the other thread about your fall! How are you doing? I swear every time I'm outside I walk like a penguin. So ready for winter to be over!
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@hayhay93 kudos to yoh for doing what is best for you and your baby! I can’t imagine how how difficult your situation is, you’re a very strong person and your baby is lucky to have a mama like you!
That is excellent advice @christycalifornia I am very sorry to hear about your personal experiences with suicide.
@Hayhay93 I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he is in need of serious help. I am glad you are removing yourself from the situation. And I am really sorry to hear of your aunt. I was once with a seriously manipulative person myself, and leaving that relationship was personally easy for me once i realized what was going on but it took me 3 years before I realized the truth of what I was dealing with. The first few months after leaving were confusing as I made sense of all his untruths. It was like finding light though a fog that I had gotten trapped in and it was a painful awakening. It may be useful for you @Hayhay93 to speak to a professional yourself. I always found talking things out with an impartial party to be useful. You are definitely doing the best thing by leaving. I wish you all the best of everything. Xo
WHY AM I SICK AGAIN? I had finally gotten over the sickness i had over christmas and new years. For sone reason I habe had a continuous runny nose since I got pregnant and it seema that it is just recycling a cold about every 2 weeks. The deep cough i have know is making my chest so sore and just draining my energy. I think i might actually have to go get antibiotics this time around. Ugh.
I also wanted to say that I agree with what everyone else says @hayhay93. You are doing what is best for you and baby and that is what is important at this time. ♡
Married since 5/23/09
Stepdaughter-2/17/02
DS #1 born 1/25/10
DS #2 born 4/25/12 BFP 2/2016 M/C 3/2016 @ 5 weeks Trying for #4 since 11/2015
Hahahahah @hayhay93 my cover is blown!! But seriously I’m so glad you’ve found a good support system! It really seems like it made all the difference with your situation!
@mrsmiller06 thanks! so nice of you to check in! im all recovered thankfully. fighting a migraine today though sadly. i was so hoping they would magically disappear the instant i hit second tri haha
@babybakie Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you went through that, too. For me, it’s been extremely hard to break away because he is a master manipulator and makes me feel bad for him every single time. I definitely want to go to a therapist when I leave because I feel that I might need the reassurance that I’m doing the right thing every once in awhile, even though I know that I am. Some days I feel more confident than others. I honestly don’t know how I ever got into a situation like this. I feel like I should have known it would end up like this and seen the red flags earlier on.
Thank you to everyone for the reassurance! The support from all of you is what makes this decision easier for me.
I get to spend my Saturday night doing homework because I am a procrastinator. There are 7 chapters in the book i am supposed to read. Three of them don't have any questions I HAVE to answer on the take home test, and there is only 1 in chapter 5 with a footnote on what page to find the quote they reference in. So really I could get away with reading nothing else and starting the assignment.
@hayhay93 FWIW, you're doing the right thing from what I have read about your situation... A lot of people have found themselves in a relationship with an unstable party... It's hard at first because you feel like the bad guy, but now it's not just about you anymore, you have a child on the way. Don't doubt yourself and seek counselling once you leave, because I can guarantee he probably will not give up easily at first and will do his best to make you question your decision. Best of luck to you.
Hey if you are the praying sort or sending good vibes I could use a lot of then. Im at full blown migraine and in so much pain. I would go to the dr but I know there isnt anything they can give right now thats safe. Hoping and praying this bath and my unisom can help relax me enough to just fall asleep before my 5:20am alarm for work.
@hayhay93 I’m proud of you and agree with everyone’s comments. @christycalifornia good to hear from you mama! Your advice for hayhay was very well put!
@lindsayleigh1989 Sending you prayers. If you think it could be partially caused by tension at all, maybe your dh can give you a massage? I get tension headaches really bad and that usually helps. I know migraines are different though! Hope you get some relief ASAP!
@hayhay93 With the pain in my neck I think you are right and it is a combination of the two. DH was great and gave me a neck rub earlier and said he will again once I get out of the bath. Thankfully the Unisom is kicking in fingers crossed I will soon be sleeping
@hayhay93 I’m so so proud of you for making this step. Just a question, does he know your mom’s address? If he doesn’t know it yet, I would suggest not telling him... just in case?
@TheQuietThings Just saw this! Sorry. Thank you, pretty much as soon as I found out I was pregnant I started debating about whether I should leave or not but my bf was so excited, so I felt bad. I realized after the holidays and the way he acted that it’s never going to get better. I can’t imagine having a crying baby with him around. He can’t handle that kind of stuff.
@moguippy He does know it, because we used to live with my mom before we got our own place. Luckily, my mom and I plan on getting our own place before the baby comes because my mom and sister stay with my nana to help her out and she said she is too old to deal with a baby and doesn’t want us all there long term lol! Also my bf genuinely hates my mom (because she has called him out), and so I don’t think he would want to put himself through the stress of having to deal with her. She’s a tough lady.
@hayhay93 I’m glad you don’t think he would come and have other ppl there too. Gotta keep the babe safe! Good luck with the move. You are a strong woman!
I guess this is a trivial rant but... I ordered the sneak peek test fast track. I ordered it 4am on Thursday. They shipped it out 9am on thursday. It’s Sunday and it’s still stuck in California. I just hope they reimburse my shipping cost. 137 for an overnight package that doesn’t make it overnight is disheartening. I was so eager to tell SO on his day off what we’re having.
@chicxulub yeah they totally should reimburse. I have had places argue that it was overnight from "the day it was shipped" and take 5 days to ship, and then not reimburse me. This does not sound like that situation though, they had plenty of time to get it there the next business day, unless the rain an everything pushed it off. THere were mudslides and stuff in CA last week right?
@hayhay93 Just wanted to pop and say that you are one tough lady and an amazing mother to be making those tough decisions for a healthier you and baby. Be proud of yourself. You are amazing.
@stlmegs just had to give you a shout out for the sprouts inspiration! I couldn't use that recipe you posted because i was out of oven pans and space last night BUT I did bacon and onion brussels sprouts on the stove and they were ridiculous. So ridiculous, in fact, my DS at them, when he will usually not even touch them cooked (we leave some out and he eats them raw, lol). Recipe I used is below!
@Hayhay93 feeling "like I should have known" as you mentioned was the most difficult part for me, please Don't blame yourself. You didn't "let" yourself get into that situation. You were lured. People who exploit the kindness and compassion of others and coerse them by using guilt trips are predators. You're smart and strong. You're doing great!
@lindsayleigh1989 I hope you feel Better!! My poor SD and DH get migraines, and I know it's so much more than a headache. You poor thing! Get well.
@babybakie I guess I’m still in a mindset of feeling responsible for everything that has happened. I’m so ready to leave here! Thank you for your support!
@hayhay93 - I'm late on this but wanted to share my support for your decision to leave. It's great that you have family you can lean on during your transition out of this relationship. I think the time apart will help to give you much needed perspective and I wish you the very best! I don't have experience with this myself, but my younger sister was in an abusive relationship for a few years that she ended last year. It's been hard for her but she's finally realizing how weak he was and how strong she is without him.
@flockofmoosen3 Thank you for sharing that. It helps to see stories from people on the other side of things. I haven’t heard anyone say they regret leaving an abusive relationship. At this point, I’ve decided that I’m not coming back. I will take the baby to meet him and his family and when the baby is older, he can probably go stay with his grandma and spend time with his dad, but I am sooooo ready to leave and never look back!
Thanks @amylu914 and @ashbub714! I only got about an hour of sleep last night and then had to work this morning. confession time. around 3:30 still being up and in so much pain I caved ans took ibuprofen. I feel awful and ao guilty about it and called the nurse line today and said I should be fine it is more dangerous is first and 3rd tri abd since it was one time I should be okay. the worst part was it actually brought me some relief and I was finally able to sleep before gettinf up at 5:15 for work. Still present but has dulled some thankfully. DH said I can get a massage this week!! so fingers crossed that will help a lot too
@lindsayleigh1989 well I’m glad you got some relief. The stress of that much pain/ very little sleep can’t be great for the baby so good for you doing what you needed to do. No judgment here. And a massage sounds like a great idea! Releasing some tension would probably do you a lot of good. I hope and pray you continue to feel better!
@lindsayleigh1989 Oh no! I’m sorry your still in pain! My OB told me yesterday that Excedrin Migraine is okay until week 20 (I’m prone to migraines, too.) Obviously check with your practice, but just something to keep in mind!
Re: Weekend Randoms 1/12-1/14
@lindsayleigh1989 just saw on the other thread about your fall! How are you doing? I swear every time I'm outside I walk like a penguin. So ready for winter to be over!
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@Hayhay93 I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he is in need of serious help. I am glad you are removing yourself from the situation. And I am really sorry to hear of your aunt. I was once with a seriously manipulative person myself, and leaving that relationship was personally easy for me once i realized what was going on but it took me 3 years before I realized the truth of what I was dealing with. The first few months after leaving were confusing as I made sense of all his untruths. It was like finding light though a fog that I had gotten trapped in and it was a painful awakening. It may be useful for you @Hayhay93 to speak to a professional yourself. I always found talking things out with an impartial party to be useful. You are definitely doing the best thing by leaving. I wish you all the best of everything. Xo
I also wanted to say that I agree with what everyone else says @hayhay93. You are doing what is best for you and baby and that is what is important at this time. ♡
BFP 2/2016 M/C 3/2016 @ 5 weeks
Trying for #4 since 11/2015
But seriously I’m so glad you’ve found a good support system! It really seems like it made all the difference with your situation!
Thank you to everyone for the reassurance! The support from all of you is what makes this decision easier for me.
@busymommy23 @lindsayleigh1989 @acunamatada @julianne0 @zande2016 @MrsMiller8588 @comealongponds @kissableviv @christycalifornia
ETA: Sorry if I missed anyone!
@busymommy23 I hope you get well soon too!
@hayhay93 I’m proud of you and agree with everyone’s comments. @christycalifornia good to hear from you mama! Your advice for hayhay was very well put!
BFP 2/2016 M/C 3/2016 @ 5 weeks
Trying for #4 since 11/2015
Take care of yourself.
Son-10.5
Son-4
Daughter-2
#4- EDD July 14
@lindsayleigh1989 Good! I hope it works!
@moguippy He does know it, because we used to live with my mom before we got our own place. Luckily, my mom and I plan on getting our own place before the baby comes because my mom and sister stay with my nana to help her out and she said she is too old to deal with a baby and doesn’t want us all there long term lol! Also my bf genuinely hates my mom (because she has called him out), and so I don’t think he would want to put himself through the stress of having to deal with her. She’s a tough lady.
ETA my comment to moguippy
He wasn't amused when I made a soup ingredient joke.
Son-10.5
Son-4
Daughter-2
#4- EDD July 14
@TheQuietThings That is hilarious. Kids are the best.
https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sunny-anderson/pan-roasted-brussels-sprouts-with-bacon-recipe-1944571
@lindsayleigh1989 I hope you feel Better!! My poor SD and DH get migraines, and I know it's so much more than a headache. You poor thing! Get well.
@babybakie I guess I’m still in a mindset of feeling responsible for everything that has happened. I’m so ready to leave here! Thank you for your support!