TTCAL W/O 1/1

galactickates · January 2018

This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions?

ChloandCoco · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

TFAS - 3 early losses in the last 9 months (6.5 weeks, 4.5 weeks, and 7 weeks)

Status: TWW - 5dpo

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going ok. I’m starting to get nervous about getting pregnant again, but I’m hoping acupuncture will help me through the anxiety.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? HPTs this weekend, I need to go buy some this week...

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? I want to start meal planning. I tried a couple of years ago, but it just felt like a lot of work, but I’m planning on alternating weeks with my husband, so that should help.

acciocoffee · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 11/28 MC at 8 weeks

Status: CD2! Excited to be off the bench!

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm just excited to have finally started AF. I'm planning to book a massage for myself next week so I'm looking forward to that and a birthday dinner with DH on Sunday night. I'm trying to just make this a really good month so that even if we don't get pregnant, I will have a great start to the year.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just OPKs. I will probably start testing as soon as AF stops just to be sure I don't miss it.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? This year I will be working on letting go of my control issues and trusting God.

galactickates · January 2018

@acciocoffee I am visiting AF too right now. Yay for being off the bench right?!!

@ChloandCoco I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!!!! I have a feeling the Sept board is going to be filled with all my favorite people. I hope I can make it happen and join too!

ChloandCoco · January 2018

@acciocoffee Yay for being off the bench!! GL this cycle.

acciocoffee · January 2018

@galactickates I'm glad to see you are off the bench too! Hopefully we both have luck this month!

@ChloandCoco Thank you! I hope you get good news soon!

coco2787 · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MMC dx @ 9 weeks. D&C 3 weeks ago on 12/12

Status:

WFBFN, supposed to be benched until AF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Feeling ok emotionally, I've made it through a few days without crying. A lot of the time it feels like a bad dream and like I was never even pregnant. Mostly really struggling with the waiting game. I was in school in the fall (done now) so I'm on break and I'm grateful I have this time to not have to think about anything important and focus on myself.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Just HPTs so I can try and figure out when my cycle might happen.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions?
Nothing specific, just want to get in a better place physically and emotionally. I would like to lose 5-10 lbs but I'm not going to get too hung up on numbers. If/when I get pregnant again I just want to be feeling healthy.

dpjennifer · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Unexplained RPL.

Status: CD 34. TWW. 11 or 12 DPO.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Had a pretty good ‘vacation’ over the holidays. Got to relax some. Came home to the heating regulator being frozen so we have no heat in our house. *sigh* Really hate being back at work, and I’ve only been here a few hours. Oh well, glad to be getting back into a regular schedule again!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Um, maybe POAS if AF is late-ish?

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? Nah. I don’t do resolutions. But, now that we’re past the holidays and I’m at my highest weight ever, I’m looking at cracking down on the exercising and eating thing.

acciocoffee Yay for being off the bench!!!!

galactickates · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

1 loss from ectopic at 9 weeks. Resulted in laparoscopic surgery. Worst time of my life.

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

They have mostly been ok, except last night and this morning the thoughts keep creeping in that I should be bringing a baby home in 6 months and I'm not. It really makes me sad but I'm trying to not let those thoughts creep in because it doesn't change the situation I'm in.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

I'm supposed to do one last blood test but I'm just not ready to go back in and get stuck with a needle.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions?
I really need to lose some weight. Once we get settled in our new house wherever that may be I'm going to get on a regular exercise routine. I miss running and I'm sure my dogs would love if I took them with me.

acciocoffee · January 2018

@coco2787 I think the waiting is just really difficult. Especially when you are waiting for AF. I felt so helpless all last week. It's like I was ready to move forward with life and I was stuck in this time of grieving. Hopefully your AF comes soon! I feel so much better and more hopeful this week than I did last week. Try to find a distraction if you can. It really helped me get through that time.

@dpjennifer I need to work on that exercising and eating thing as well. I've been eating so terribly I actually found myself craving broccoli this morning. That never happens so I know my body is asking for some veggies!

@galactickates I completely understand what you mean! I couldn't deal with the thought of the due date being just another day (technically a holiday since we were due 7/4), so I am planning a vacation for me and DH that week. I have the week off work so it's actually kind of perfect. It's making me look forward to that time instead of dreading it. Plus, June is our 5 year wedding anniversary so we are counting it as an anniversary trip as well. It just all kind of worked out. I know not everyone can do a vacation (especially with a new house!), but every time I get sad that I won't have a baby in 6 months, I just start planning our trip again and it gets me excited instead of sad. Either way, I have my FX that you will have a LO coming again soon! It seems like we are about on the same cycle so I'm excited to have someone on here who is going through a similar stage as me.

galactickates · January 2018

@acciocoffee - I really love that you're at the same stage as me too. Not that you had to go through this, but that I'm not alone obvi. DH and I have the travel bug so we're always thinking of our next adventure. We're going to try to go to Yellowstone this year. Once we get settled I can focus on that. I just looked up my EDD if it happened this month and I guess I'd be on the Oct board. That feels soooooo far away. That's if my body does what should... So frustrating!

boniface · January 2018

Chloandcoco sorry for your losses. I tried acupuncture recently and LOVED it. I also went to a practice that had NP's, so my acupuncturist was really interested in my health history and my BBT chart. I really hope it helps with the anxiety.

@acciocoffee YAY for AF and being off the bench and Treat yo self time.

@coco2787 the waiting game is horrible and it WILL get better

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status: MMC in July 2017 Blighted Ovum in Oct 2017. I had genetic testing done after my last loss and have two series of the MTHFR gene, i'm taking a high dose of folate for that. I also have another gene that is linked to blood clots so now I'm on baby aspirin. My thyroid levels are normal, but on a high side of normal so im taking synthroid.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm doing much better now that the ball is rolling. Just waiting for AF and waiting on an appointment with a genetic counselor. Before I try again my DR wants me to meet with one.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? An ultrasound once AF starts.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? just want to be healthier physically and mentally.

acciocoffee · January 2018

@galactickates I feel the same way. I hate that you are here, but I'm selfishly glad to have you! I looked into Yellowstone, but the drive was way too much for us. We are probably going to Colorado Springs as of now. DH wants to do Universal Studios since I'm a huge Harry Potter fan, but if we do get KU this month, I wouldn't be able to ride any rides and I would probably be pretty miserable in Florida in July. I would be ok with an October or even November due date, but I kind of don't want a December one. I originally wanted a Spring 2018 baby though so I guess I shouldn't really be picky at this point. I hope that everything works for you this month! I can't imagine the extra stress you are under.

zamoraspin · January 2018

@ChloandCoco I'm glad the acupuncture is helping you to relax. I found the same but have fallen out of going regularly. Maybe I will make an appt soon.

@coco2787 I'm glad things are starting to feel a little less heavy. It doesn't go away completely but it does get less all-consuming with time.

@dpjennifer Ack! I'm sorry about the heater, that's terrible. Are your pipes ok? Gl POAS, you have amazing restraint to wait until AF is late that is so smart, I never hold out that long.

@galactickates I'm sorry for those thoughts, like I said above, the grief doesn't really go away altogether but I hope it gets less for you soon.

@boniface I'm sorry for your losses. Do you know which MTHFR mutation you have? There is A1298C and C677T. I am homozygous for A1298C. If you have not already, you might get your homocysteine levels checked. People with MTHFR mutations tend to have elevations in those levels. In addition to folate you might consider also taking some extra B6 and B12. Tbh, I have not figured out how worried I should be about my MTHFR mutation. My RE doesn't seem very worried about that but I do understand there have been possible links with RPL as well as with other conditions.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 3 first tri losses

Status: TWW, but really WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? The current conversation at our house is how long we will try before moving to IVF if I don't get ku. We had already decided one more loss and we would do IVF, but we haven't nailed down how long we would try if I don't get ku. I am inclined to get moving sooner (like 1-2 more cycles of trying). So many bad milestones coming up with my first EDD 1/24, my 36th birthday in a month, and our 12 month rollover of ttc in March. Just really feeling down atm about how far away a take home baby feels.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? BFN on FRER this am. Possible TW? I had a very faint colorless line on an FRER yesterday at 10dpo but I think it was just a nasty indent. end TW.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? Hmm, still in the process of crafting some goals for this year. One is to organize our house and get rid of stuff we don't need. Another is to lose some more weight while we are ttc. Was able to lose about 17 pounds last year with a slow and steady approach.

dpjennifer · January 2018

zamora_spin Well, FF says AF should arrive Thursday, but according to my slip-shod charting I think Friday is more likely. I think I'll keep charting and see what happens, and if I haven't gotten AF Thursday night, I will probably just POAS Friday morning? But meh... we'll see how much crazy enters between now and then. Had some nausea yesterday and was totally like "PG!!!!" ::rolls eyes:: Even though I've had a few AFs since MC where I had nausea so bad I thought I'd vomit everywhere. *Le sigh*

ChloandCoco · January 2018

@coco2787 Being in limbo is the hardest part, but it's good that you are focusing on trying to get to a better place emotionally and physically.
@dpjennifer Hopefully you get the heating issues solved quickly. And FX with testing this week!
@galactickates It's hard to keep those thoughts from creeping in, but it does get easier over time.
@boniface I'm sorry you find yourself here, I hope you get some answers from the genetic counselor.

@zamora_spin I know it's hard right now with all the milestones coming up, but you have to hang in there. **sending you all the creepy internet hugs right now**

boniface · January 2018

@zamora_spin I do not know which mutation I have. On my next doctor appointment I will ask about the B12 and B16. From what I've read with MTHFR your body is not metabolizing folic acid, and that isn't crucial for a successful pregnancy, so I'm really hoping the extra supplements will be the solution to my problem.

galactickates · January 2018

@zamora_spin - hopefully that indent turns out to be the real thing

FX!!! I'm sorry you're feeling down about milestones. I totally get it unfortunately.

zamoraspin · January 2018

@dpjennifer I use progesterone suppositories now after I O and I have found they cause nausea and even though I know that, when I get nauseous during TWW (even at like, 4dpo) I'm like, TOTES KU! Just the way the mind works.
@ChloandCoco Thanks, lady. I

you.
@boniface There is also a difference (as I understand it) in severity depending on if you are hetero or homozygous. Heterozygous means you have one bad copy of the gene but also one good copy, whereas homozygous means you have two bad copies. You can probably guess intuitively that the two bad copies are worse than the one bad and one good. And, again, intuitively, if your partner also has mutations that can worsen things more. Someone on TB once shared a chart with me that puts into a picture what happens in the body in relation to B vitamins. Basically, you need all three of B6, B12 and Folate (which is a B vitamin) to properly process the Folate into a form your body can use (or that is my lay person explanation). So that is why it is good to take extra of B6 and B12 as well as the folate. Most prenatals only have small amounts of B6 and B12. There is also debate on whether folic acid can properly be absorbed by folks with MTHFR mutations. I take a B6 supplement as well as a prenatal with Folate, and then also a 400 mg of methylfolate, and then also B12 (sublingual). Including the chart in the spoiler, although it is very science-y. I do know several TTGP TTCAL grads who have MTHFR mutations and are currently enjoying perfectly healthy pregnancies so it's certainly not a full stop kind of thing. eta words

Image: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4425139/bin/nutrients-07-02176-g001.jpg

boniface · January 2018

@zamora_spin wow thank you so much for the information. I will definitely have to check with my provider on which one I have. All she said was that I have two series of the mutation. She also wants my husband to get the test done, but unfortunately he will have to pay out of pocket and it will be almost $1000.
Its nice to know there are other sites who have gone on to have successful pregnancies.

verderosa · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC found at 10 weeks in April of 2017. No known reason. I am a Type 1 Diabetic and didn't have my blood sugars properly controlled, but the doctors said that women with much worse blood sugars than mine have had healthy pregnancies, so it was probably not related/not "my fault."

Status: TWW, 6 dpo

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Keep seeing more and more friends pop up with pregnancy announcements, some even their second pregnancy. Trying not to let it get me down! Did really good with stress relieving this month - usually I let everything get to me.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Every month that goes by with more BFN's, I keep pushing back the date that I start testing. I'm going to try and wait until after AF is supposed to arrive (next Wednesday). Buuuut, who knows, I might give in sooner than that.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? Stress less!

boniface · January 2018

@riqafortunada I'm sorry for you loss. It is very difficult seeing pregnancy announcements, I'm sorry, and I know how you feel, IT SUCKS!!!!!! What I tell myself is to acknowledge that it hurts, but to not let myself let it ruin my whole day. Sometimes I just wait till I'm falling asleep to express to my husband. That hey guess what seeing so and so that is pregnant hurt today. And just having him listen and hug me make me feel better. For me it's having the acknowledgement that hey it hurts still , even though people forgot or not think that it hurts me still. Anyways I hope it makes sens. Some will just be hard. Hope you get a BFP soon!!

offtoneverland · January 2018

@ChloandCoco How often do you do acupuncture? I just called an acupuncturist today and made my first appointment for this Thursday. It's pretty expensive and isn't covered by my insurance, but I figure I'll try it just to see. I hope it's worth it! Good luck with the meal planning. It's so hard! We do Blue Apron every few weeks and really like it. It helps take some of the stress out of meal planning and we usually get really yummy recipes. (DH made a Blue Apron tilapia recipe tonight with lentils and broccoli. Yum!)
@acciocoffee I love your resolution of letting go of control and trusting God. I'm trying to work on that myself and started a new bible study plan to hopefully help me get back on track.
@coco2787 I get what you mean about it feeling like a bad dream and like you were never pregnant. I feel that way too. It feels so surreal that I was happily pregnant just a couple of days ago and now I'm not. Big hugs to you. I hope you get your BFN soon so you can get this show on the road!
@dpjennifer Oh no! Will you get your heat fixed soon?
@galactickates Hugs, friend. It's a struggle not letting those bad thoughts in. I have to get another blood test this week, too. Maybe we can do it together in spirit to make it a little easier.

I would also like to start running again too, but it's way too cold right now.
@boniface I'm glad to hear about your good experience with acupuncture. I made an appointment at a women's health acupuncture clinic, so I'm hoping it'll be good. I'm nervous about it! Sounds like you're on tons of supplements right now. I have my fingers crossed for you that it helps you out and you won't have to stay here much longer. When is the meeting with the genetic counselor?
@zamora_spin ugh. I'm so sorry about the stupid HPT, the BFNs, and all the horrible milestones coming up for you. Sending big hugs your way. It sounds like you guys are having some good talks about what comes next for you. So glad you've been able to have these talks, but I'm so sorry you're facing the decision of when to start IVF. FX so so hard you won't need it, my friend.
@riqafortunada So sorry about all the pregnancy announcements you had to see recently. What kind of things do you do for stress relief? Anything specific?

ChloandCoco · January 2018

@offtoneverland I went once last month, but that was to kick start AF (which didn’t help, but it helped my anxiety). Now that all the tests and results are in, she can “do more” this time. I’ll let you know how tomorrow’s appointment goes and how often she wants me to go in.

offtoneverland · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Three early losses this year -- August, October, December

Status: Benched, I guess.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are okay. I have good moments followed by bad moments when I get into my head too much and imagine how it would be right now if I were pregnant and having morning sickness or starting to show. I'm trying my hardest to stay away from that dark place. I also don't like keeping secrets from people and when I'm obviously in a horrible mood, I wish I could just tell my coworkers what was going on instead of having to hide it. Not that I want their sorry's or pity, but it would just be nice if people knew what was going on in a way.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I called the OB today and should be getting my referral for the RE soon. After that I'll see about making an appointment and see what comes next. And like I mentioned in my previous post, I made an appointment with an acupuncturist on Thursday, so we'll see how that goes.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? My resolutions are only ever reading-related. This year my goal is to read 60 books. It'll give me a distraction from TTC! I also just want to take this time to work on getting healthier, but I don't like making that a resolution...I want it to stick and become a real lifestyle change!

galactickates · January 2018

@offtoneverland I have all the same thoughts...

I was lurking June (my old bmb for anyone that didn't know that) and they were talking about how they were going to be due in 5 and a half months. That should be me too... :'( and hdbd just made me so sad. I hadn't lurked in awhile but most of the time when I do I end up feeling pretty down. I try not to lurk, but I'm really happy for them, and a small part of me wants to know what I'd be going through right now.

meatballs37 · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. twins diagnosed with TTTS. Surgery to split the placenta at 22 weeks. Baby B passed. Baby A was delivered three weeks later, but passed after fighting like hell in the NICU for 24 days.

Status: benched for minimum 4 more months due to c-section.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? still zero signs of first PP AF. I will be 9 weeks PP this week and I have been done pumping for a month. I’m worried with everything my body has been through, it doesn’t know what to do.

Abraham would have been two months old today. I cried a lot when I woke up. It still hits me like a ton of bricks. The twins would have been delivered in three weeks if they had made it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I need to go in for my yearly exam. So I should probably get the appointment over with. And also make the appointment with the MFM at the end of these four months of waiting.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? I just desperately need 2018 not to have anymore heartache like we have experienced in 2017. So my resolution is to be kind to myself and do one thing for me each day. I start the gym tomorrow and I hope it goes well. I need to feel better about myself physically so that I can mentally heal this year too.

meatballs37 · January 2018

@zamora_spin hmmm very interesting stuff on B6 and B12. I might just add them to my vitamin regimen for good measure.

holly321 · January 2018

@ChloandCoco. I hope the acupuncture helps with your anxiety. How often do you go? I would love to meal plan, but DH is a really picky eater and it isn't worth my time with him.
@acciocoffee, I am glad you are off the bench, FX for you this cycle. What do you have planned for the birthday dinner?
@coco2787, I hope AF shows for you soon. How long is your break from school? I am glad you have this time to focus on yourself and not have to worry.
@dpjennifer , how long is your usually LP? FX for you. And that is terrible about your heat, when will it be fixed? And getting back to work is the worst. I did work one day last week, but it was 1 day in the middle of 10 off, so being back is hard, and I have so much to catch up on.
@galactickates , I am sorry you still have another blood draw. It is hard to not let those thoughts creep in. It seems like once a week it really gets to me.
@boniface, I am sorry for your losses. I hope everything goes well with the genetic counselor and your ultrasound.
@zamora_spin, I think FRER are becoming really bad about having indent lines. I an sorry you are in limbo. *Hugs* for all the milestones coming up. I hope you and your DH can come to an agreement about IVF (and i Ihope it isn't necessary)
@riqafortunada, I am sorry for your loss. I hate seeing pregnancy announcements out of nowhere. It is hard. GL with stress!
@offtoneverland, have you considered telling your co-workers? Mine all know, and I feel like it helps that people know why I am down sometimes. I love your resolution. I used to read all the time and don't anymore. I hope you can get in to see an RE soon.
@meatballs37, I hope AF shows for you soon. *Hugs*, I can't imagine how hard each milestone like today is for you.

holly321 · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC 2/12 MMC molar pregnancy 8/17

Status: benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

things have been better. Next week will be a month since I had a blood test (and I get one next week). I started to freak out the last few days worry the cancer returned. I have been cramping and sore breasts. I was going to call and see if I could have the test done a week early, but decided to take a HPT today and it was negative, so I am feeling a lot better.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

hcg test next Monday.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions?
it isn't really a resolution, but I need to lose weight I gained from the holidays. I was waiting until after New year's and just letting myself enjoy the yummy foods that come along with the holidays. I may have to wait until next week though, there are still too many snacks. I also need to get back to running. I have literally been saying this for months. But, I have actually had legitimate excuses. I have had sinusitis/tonsillitis issues for almost 2 months, so mixed with asthma, it is too hard. I go back to the doctor tomorrow.

dpjennifer · January 2018

offtoneverland Yeah, we warmed up the pipe so the propane could flow again. Temps were warmer yesterday and today. DH is gonna put heat tape on the line and some new foam, and hopefully that will stop the issue from happening again as we go into the end of the week/weekend 'polar vortex.'

holly321 MY LP Is usually around 13 days. Have you considered a tonsillectomy? Sucks as an adult, but I did it like 8 years ago because I had tonsil stones.

acciocoffee · January 2018

@holly321 I think we are going to Buffalo Wild Wings since we got a gift card for Christmas. We don't eat out very much so I'm really excited!

ChloandCoco · January 2018

@holly321 I started going to acupuncture last month, and will probably go once a month until I have a take home baby. I live in Canada and have pretty decent health insurance, so I might as well use it for this. As for meal planning, I'm alternating weeks with my DH, so if he wants to meal plan his week it's up to him. Maybe that's something you could do with your DH?

boniface · January 2018

@offtoneverland Thank you, I hope your visit goes well and you end up loving acupuncture. As for my appointment, I was hoping my DR would of called me yesterday to let me know it was ok to schedule with the genetic counselor, but she didn't, so I might call their office today.

eleven_ · January 2018

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP on 1/2/18

Status: WFAF I guess? I don't even know right now.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm just jumping in here because I feel so lost and devastated right now. I feel like I'm in a bad dream and just want to wake up.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I had my HCG levels tested yesterday and I was at a 5. I know I have to wait until my Friday test to compare but I know I am out. I am experiencing heavy bleeding along with cramping.

GTKY: Any New Year's Resolutions? To read 75 books this year

ChloandCoco · January 2018

@eleven_ I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. This is a very supportive group of ladies and remember that it's ok to not be ok.

dpjennifer · January 2018

eleven_ Sorry for your loss. Are they still making you get another beta test with a first level of 5?

eleven_ · January 2018

@ChloandCoco Thank you so much. I have lurked here before and have seen the level of support you give each other. You are all so amazing and strong to be able to get through all of this heartbreak

@dpjennifer Yes, they still told me to come back on Friday. I wish I didn't have to because the clinic is 45 minutes away from me.

galactickates · January 2018

@eleven_ oh no I'm so sorry to see you here. I wish I had more comforting words, I feel like when these things happen there is just nothing you can say that can make someone feel better. ((So many hugs)) We are all here for you.

offtoneverland · January 2018

@eleven_ I'm so sorry you find yourself here. We all completely understand the devastation you're feeling right now. There's just no words for what it's like to see that low hcg number when you know it should be way higher. I love what @ChloandCoco said: it's okay not to feel okay. It's okay to be mad and sad and hurt all at the same time. Feel it all. My last beta on Friday was 4, and the doctor is still making me go in for a repeat beta to make sure it hits zero. We can do our betas together in spirit this week. I'm sorry your clinic is such a long drive for you.

eleven_ · January 2018

@galactickates @offtoneverland Thank you so much for the kind words. I really appreciate it. It's so nice to be able to come here and talk about it. Being at work right now makes me feel like the whole thing never happened.

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