My brother-in-law "Bill" lives in our city. He's an... underachiever type of person who's in his mid-30s but has never held down a job consistently. For most of his adult life he has sort of just mooched off of the family. Like if there's a family trip everyone pays for themselves except him; everyone else chips in to pay for him because nobody wants him to miss out. If there's a gift exchange occasion he receives gifts but never gives gifts, even nominal things, even to his nieces and nephews. Anyhow, my husband found out Bill will be alone for Christmas (his girlfriend is flying across country to see her family). We'll be 2.5 hrs outside town with my family and now my husband wants to find a way to get him up there for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. He can't just ride with us because we're going several days before but he has to bartend the 23rd. So my husband has proposed us driving back down to pick him up, paying for an Uber ($100) or rental car (about $150), or letting him borrow our other car (Bill's is super unreliable). I feel like Scrooge but all of these options make me resentful. I guess him borrowing our car would be free but what if he gets in an accident with it? He *could* pay for his own transport but he doesn't want to and so we're in another situation where the family "doesn't want him to miss out" so we're expected to foot the bill. Ugh. Vent. Thoughts?
DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018
Re: OT: WWYD Re this Christmas Conundrum
I know it sounds harsh but you just have to stop enabling people like this or they will be drain on everyone forever. I think you should try to make your husband see that enabling is not the answer and if he continues then Bill will expect help for the rest of his life.
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018
I guess I'm a bit confused - why does YOUR family have to find Christmas day entertainment for your DH's brother? Why isn't HIS OWN family scrambling to including him in something?
Also it seems like a sign that his gf didn't bring him with her. Agree that enabling him is not a good solution.
DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018