she was in my last bmb but ended up leaving our small group after had offered tons and tons of support but never wanted to make changes about her complaints. ive reached out a few times but no we aren't very close thankfully in some ways.
My husband got me a frame that's made specifically for ultrasounds, it says love at first sight! He put that in my stocking. I told him I wished for things for myself not the baby (since next year it will be all about him) and he did a good job of mixing both items!
dd has been up so much tonight none of us have had a rem cycle. I don't kniw what her problem is all I know is I am exhausted. angry and dont know if i can manage being a mom of two
@lindsayleigh1989 Yikes! What a horrible comment on a pregnancy announcement post. I get she is going through a tough time right now but doing it on your good news is just rude.
Just a rant, my mom just cannot stop talking about my business to other people, her friends and our family. I haven't announced my pregnancy yet outside of my husband, sister, and my mom. She just keeps telling everyone, even though I have asked her to stop. I get that she is excited, but until I am in the clear and not considered high risk, I just don't want it out there
So I announced to my family yesterday, everyone was so happy! Come to find out my cousin is also pregnant- 7 weeks behind me! She has a son 8 weeks younger than my son too, what are the odds!?
@lindsayleigh1989 we ALL go through that moment, several of them actually! Hugs to you girl. In the hardest moments with one, its hard to imagine how you will muddle through being that tired with two, but you can do it! I understand your feelings though.
@Crystal321 ugh the struggle is real. My mom has difficulty keeping her mouth shut too. She already blabbed to her friends and my sister's in-laws (weird).
ugh my mom use to be like that where she would blab about every surgical procedure I’ve had and tried to plan baby stuff with DS when i didn’t want to, she’d tell the whole world about it. Finally got fed up and told her i would never talk to her about personal stuff anymore if she kept that up. I’d shut her out of that part of that. She always means well and i know it’s just excitement and part of her culture but gosh it was irritating. She’s better now.
My patience is running thin with my in laws. Things are better from two nights ago but omg i can’t stand watching the news this month or the constant joking around if my SFIL. DS has also been more whinny since they’ve been here. Two more days....
@acunamatada so glad your announcement went well! That's a funny coincidence with your cousin. H&H 9 months to her, too! I forget how many weeks along you are but it would make her announcement super early right? Did she plan to reveal or was it like she wanted to add herself to the pregnancy excitement?
My husband's cousin is also expecting (announced via Christmas card), but they tried so hard for so long I am dreading revealing our unexpected pregnancy. I don't have to tell her that but I am pretty sure we have said before that we weren't planning for a #3.
Also, I am disappointed by the lack of empathy regarding the loss mom who was tired of seeing pregnancy announcements on FB. @lindsayleigh1989 didn't say that the lady posted it directed at her, and Lindsay was respectful with her reaction to it. Saying that mom should get off social media if she doesn't like it is a cold thing to say.
@wildtot, hopefully the next couple of days goes by quickly! I would be really mad if that happened, especially the smoking in the house if he did it. I don't mind smoking pot in itself (did it casually in college) but our house rule is you do it outside. This rule applies when my BIL is in town. Can your DH help with your SFIL or is that ship sailed?
@flockofmoosen3 so it doesn’t look like he did it I’m house that night which is good. Probably just lingered in as he came inside DH did say the room smelled and suggested they put on a candle lol. My anxiety is high right now and i can’t deal with all of their joking (like those jokes that just keep going because they keep picking at it). I’m stuck watching the news and football because they don’t want to watch movies - but then they walk away and not actually watch. May God help me these next few days!
@wildtot, Good luck!! Maybe since they're there as extra hands for your DS, you could spend some time out of the house for a break. Schedule a massage?
I don't think anyone here was being cold and yes knowing her and the fact it was posted about two minutes after I posted our announcement it did seem directed at me. I guess you also have to know this person. she was someone who always begged for support and attention and was alwahs showered with jt but always through it in our faces and also rarely ever offered support to others and very self focused.
I think everyone here has proven their support for loss mom's
@flockofmoosen3 I didn't mean to come off as cold and being someone who lost a pregnancy I know too well how it feels. All I said was that part of healing, and that means when you get rational about things, which isn't right away, is to understand your triggers. I think if social media is one of them because it makes you post passive aggressive things, I think it would be best to avoid them altogether, and as someone else mentioned they are a double edged sword.
Andplusalso, loss and hurt comes in many different forms. We can be empathetic for others while also realizing as sane adults that Facebook is not “dear diary.”
@wildtot hang in there, hope the next couple days fly by
@lindsayleigh1989 I'm sorry, that's harsh of her. You're kind to feel empathy towards her. Please don't let her comment bring you down
Our Christmas was peaceful and fun. My parents stayed the night and just left a while ago. Now I'm lounging on the couch while DH puts our kiddo to bed. It feels good to just do nothing.
@flockofmoosen3 yes shes only 5 weeks, but she announced at only 6 weeks with her last, so it's not unheard of for her. I guess she was planning on revealing, but I did before her and she had a mini breakdown because she didn't want to steal my thunder- not that I minded!
So excited to be joining this community! I had been using Ovia and heard about The Bump a couple weeks ago.
Has anyone used an at home fetal doppler? I got one off Amazon and was able to find baby’s HB at 10 weeks. It was seriously the best sound I’ve ever heard, especially since I didn’t think I’d find it so early.
@kinny512 welcome! I personally haven't gotten a doppler. I have been tempted during my last pregnancy during the later weeks on the days I felt decreased movement.
@lindsayleigh1989 I'm sorry your former friend stole away the joy of your announcement. It's sad that she is in a dark place, but that is very selfish of her to take her unhappiness out on you. You do not deserve that.
Sorry, for the following rant... but i was at a Christmas eve party this weekend where there was a young couple who have a 2.5 yr old and 7 mos old baby. My 49 year old DH and my 43 year old self had to sit there and listen to the dad drone on about how gereatric moms over 35 have babies with problems, that old parents can't enjoy their kids, die young, and are 80 when they graduate etc etc.
Pregnancy was a huge constant topic of conversation the whole evening and I sat there with my tongue bitten since no one knew I'm 10 weeks.
Honestly, he verbalized my every deepest fear in a horribly judgemental tone with extreme detail.
All I can think is, oh God please let me return next year to the party with a beautiful 100% healthy perfect 5 month old baby. Please God. I feel so scared and freaked out since then that something bad may happen.
@babybakie that makes me so angry. People really should not have babies because time is running out. They should have babies if they want them, when they want them.period. we are born with our egg reserve and a lot of the issues that we will have as adults are probably already baked into our dna. I'm not saying that age is not a factor, but many, maaaany women over 35 and 40 go on to have healthy pregnancies. Don't think about those stupid conversations as the baby does not need that nonsense. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy! Are you doing genetic testing at all?
@babybakie I would have spoken up and made that situation super awkward! Something like "now that you've shared your lovely thoughts with us, we've got something of our own to share.."
@babybakie how tacky and rude of them. have heart you will be amazing and im sure baby will be too my mom had 2 kids over 40 and they are strong smart and totally okay
Thank you guys for listening and for your replies!! It really made me feel more at ease. I wish you could've heard his tone. And it wasn't just a passing few comments, it was like the theme of the night! Actually it was his gorgous little baby that was the theme (And rightfully so, he was awesome) but the age thing wouldn't end. And i know it wasnt just my horomes because even my husband thought it was ridiculous how he carried on.
@kissableviv thank you for saying that! And we certainly wanted, and tried for this pregnancy. I wish I was 25, but I met my DH late in life and we only married last year. I always wanted children but I accepted my DH was done since his kids are 21 and 23. God, what a dream come true it was when he sat me down in April to tell me he wanted to try!! And Yes to genetic testing. My NT scan is 01/09. I cant wait.
@runsomewhere Don't think I wasn't DYING to!! We had a loss in June so we are waiting a while to share. If we were to MC, this guy seemed the type to have a "well I told you so" attitude.Trust me, if I am so Blessed to return to the party next year with a healthy baby, I will remind him of his comments.
@lindsayleigh1989 Thank you so much! It's hearing those stories of successful happy endings that bring me the most comfort. I just try to think, there is no reason that cant be me.
@babybakie I hear you, this is my second marriage. No kids with my previous, but I met my DH in my early thirties and we knew we wanted to start right away. My stepsister met her DH at 38, they married when she was 39/40 and she got pregnant on her honeymoon too, like me. She gave birth to a wonderful baby girl and she was almost 41 I think. So yeah, unfortunately the successful stories don't make the "news" as much
Thank you @kissableviv I really appreciate you sharing your personal experiences with me. I hope one day, my story will be one to help older mom's feel positive!
Re: Weekend Randoms 12/22
They’re your guests, they should take more care.
@lindsayleigh1989, wow, the timing of your friend’s response stings.
Feel better, @kat029!
Good of luck with the announcement, @acunamatada
Come to find out my cousin is also pregnant- 7 weeks behind me! She has a son 8 weeks younger than my son too, what are the odds!?
My patience is running thin with my in laws. Things are better from two nights ago but omg i can’t stand watching the news this month or the constant joking around if my SFIL. DS has also been more whinny since they’ve been here. Two more days....
My husband's cousin is also expecting (announced via Christmas card), but they tried so hard for so long I am dreading revealing our unexpected pregnancy. I don't have to tell her that but I am pretty sure we have said before that we weren't planning for a #3.
Also, I am disappointed by the lack of empathy regarding the loss mom who was tired of seeing pregnancy announcements on FB. @lindsayleigh1989 didn't say that the lady posted it directed at her, and Lindsay was respectful with her reaction to it. Saying that mom should get off social media if she doesn't like it is a cold thing to say.
@lindsayleigh1989, I feel you. That's how I feel about going from 2 to 3. Help us!!
I think everyone here has proven their support for loss mom's
@wildtot hang in there, hope the next couple days fly by
@lindsayleigh1989 I'm sorry, that's harsh of her. You're kind to feel empathy towards her. Please don't let her comment bring you down
Our Christmas was peaceful and fun. My parents stayed the night and just left a while ago. Now I'm lounging on the couch while DH puts our kiddo to bed. It feels good to just do nothing.
Has anyone used an at home fetal doppler? I got one off Amazon and was able to find baby’s HB at 10 weeks. It was seriously the best sound I’ve ever heard, especially since I didn’t think I’d find it so early.
Hope everyone had a great Christmas!
I have a Doppler too and found the HB around 9 wks this time. With DS i found it around 13 wks.
Sorry, for the following rant... but i was at a Christmas eve party this weekend where there was a young couple who have a 2.5 yr old and 7 mos old baby. My 49 year old DH and my 43 year old self had to sit there and listen to the dad drone on about how gereatric moms over 35 have babies with problems, that old parents can't enjoy their kids, die young, and are 80 when they graduate etc etc.
Pregnancy was a huge constant topic of conversation the whole evening and I sat there with my tongue bitten since no one knew I'm 10 weeks.
Honestly, he verbalized my every deepest fear in a horribly judgemental tone with extreme detail.
All I can think is, oh God please let me return next year to the party with a beautiful 100% healthy perfect 5 month old baby. Please God. I feel so scared and freaked out since then that something bad may happen.
@kissableviv thank you for saying that! And we certainly wanted, and tried for this pregnancy. I wish I was 25, but I met my DH late in life and we only married last year. I always wanted children but I accepted my DH was done since his kids are 21 and 23. God, what a dream come true it was when he sat me down in April to tell me he wanted to try!! And Yes to genetic testing. My NT scan is 01/09. I cant wait.
@runsomewhere Don't think I wasn't DYING to!! We had a loss in June so we are waiting a while to share. If we were to MC, this guy seemed the type to have a "well I told you so" attitude.Trust me, if I am so Blessed to return to the party next year with a healthy baby, I will remind him of his comments.
@lindsayleigh1989 Thank you so much! It's hearing those stories of successful happy endings that bring me the most comfort. I just try to think, there is no reason that cant be me.
@babybakie no doubt you will have a very happy and healthy pregnancy!
Side note- is there a way to set up alerts if someone mentions you?