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May 2018 Moms
sandbar517
member
Except don't. Otherwise this thread will be super boring.
UO 12/21
sandbar517
member
Except don't. Otherwise this thread will be super boring.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Re: UO 12/21
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
I LOVE my inlaws. My MIL is one of my best friends (so is my own mom). She is not like what it seems a typical MIL would be. She does not pressure us on any decisions, even if I know she disagrees with them. For example when we bought our home she thought it was too much of a fixer upper and clearly didn’t love it. But we basically told her we were buying it anyways. She has been nothing but supportive and has helped us on every project. She now brags to other people about how cute and wonderful our house is (even though we have yet to fix about half of what needs done).
This isn’t really controversial, I just wanted to let you all know that some inlaws don’t suck hahahah
edit : typos
@cups4 - I buy a lot of clothes in the boys section for my 2yo. She love dinosaurs and dragons... plus for some reason all the gender neutral stuff is in the boy section.
He usually just says “not any more nervous than I would be if she were a boy” and leaves it at that.
DH was awesome about it though. He would say things like “I couldn’t possibly love anything more than my girls”
We're also getting lots of people going for a boy on our behalf. We are having a boy but not telling people. We honestly had no preference before deciding to have another. If we did have one, we'd adopt.
As for grandparents, I don't know that cutting them out is a great plan, especially for things like car seat. There are certainly ways around that. Ultimately, you also have your just to answer/explain things to. I've seen people cut out different family members and they kids don't see the whole picture. They feel rejected by the people who don't see them or blame the people who don't allow the visiting. It's just not black and white to me. It definitely depends on the reasons as well.
My ILs are basically satisfied with their other granddaughter. FIL has never made a single attempt with my kids. MIL sometimes does. We just don't push it. If they want to have a relationship, they can do something about it. They always give the girls nice presents but wouldn't drive 2 blocks out of their way when we had a lemonade stand.
weight gain and I find it so upsetting. I don’t need to be reminded!!!!
I will say, my English family says lovely things about pregnant women. Instead of “you’ve popped!” They say “ you’re blooming” I like thinking of myself as a flower and not a bag of microwave popcorn haha!
I was reminded of my UO reading another thread, so hopefully no one thinks I’m singling them out. Mine is that if you know you aren’t coming back to work at all, you should not take a “maternity leave” just to get several more weeks of pay. I think it gives women in the work place a bad name.
If if you are planning to leave work, do that. We have had a few attorneys do this recently and leave huge messes to be cleaned up after they took 12 weeks off and never came back. Upon getting more info, it became pretty clear that they were never planning to return.
HATE girl clothes. Part of the reason why we are team green. I don't want people to even be tempted to buy us frilly shit (although if we do have a girl, nothing will stop them from buying it after the baby is born. But, yeah. People say to me "if you dont know the sex how will you buy baby clothes?!" ummmmm even if we knew, I'd still register for/buy all the same clothes.
HATE people commenting on my pregnant body. Even the nurse this week at drs was like "oh you have a little belly (as I am sitting down and my fat rolls bunch up). My aunt constantly comments during my pregnancy about how much weight I lost and says "you are the thinnest you have ever been"....um no lady...not ever. I even overheard her telling a stranger at tasting at our family's winery "oh yeah. two of my nieces are pregnant. The one over there *points to me* is so teeny tiny and the other one looks huge!" ummm wtf. Although, I am just barely starting to show (but only in tight clothes or obviously naked) and this morning my husband commented on my belly, but he said it in a really sweet/admiring/loving way. So only he is allowed to comment- and he can only tell me how great I look! hahah
HATE the idea that pregnant women should have a super close relationship with their parents (especially their mom). Sorry, I love my mom, but I don't want her anywhere near the hospital when I am giving birth and I definitely don't want her driving baby around unless its an emergency. I may change my mind later on....but, honestly out of all of our parents (in laws included) my dad is the only decent driver, so it's easier for us to just say "no one drives the baby unless absolutely necessary"...did I mention I am a control freak and I am sure motherhood will test those limits for me hahah
@attorneyworkproduct I get where you are coming from, but I really have no problem with people never coming back after maternity leave. I mean....they are entitled to that pay and leave.I plan on coming back to work, but why should we expect women to quit before maternity leave and forgo weeks to months of pay that they are entitled to? My firm has 4.5 months of fully paid maternity leave....that's a lot of money. I would never expect anyone to pass that up for the sake of quitting before maternity leave rather than after. I mean....the effect is still the same...you lost an employee/team member. The only difference is that they get less money if they quit before.
I agree that you have no idea how you will feel, how baby will adjust, etc. once you are actually staring down the prospect of returning to work. I plan to go back to work this time, but I recognize that I may get there and say a big NO to that (although personally, I think I would at least give it a try for a while).
I guess my (unpopular) opinion is for the person who is 100% sure that they are done with the job, but explicitly lies to coworkers to say that they are coming back, simply because they want the paid leave. In my office we all have extremely heavy case loads and I would rather get the open position filled before they leave, than have a few people covering for someone for three months + several more weeks to get the position filled.
As far as lying to everyone about coming back, we have no choice but to lie about it. As someone mentioned in the other thread, if you tell HR or your manager that you plan on leaving, they can use that against you. I wish I could be open about my plans, especially so my boss could plan accordingly, but it's not possible.
I have a friend who is adopting because she really wants a daughter. I have no issue with adopting a specific sex, but I feel uncomfortable with only doing it because you want a girl. Adopt because you feel called to adopt. I guess I don’t like the idea of objectifying children. They aren’t toys to bring us joy, they are human beings who should be loved for who they are.
I'm curious for those who put their girls in boy clothes: would you put a boy in girl clothes?
I'm planning to use maternity leave to look for a new job. I'm not sharing this with anyone at work. @gildah is right.. My company doesn't care about me. In a cog in a machine and can be easily replaced. Yes, it will sick for my co-workers for a few weeks, but I've done my share of covering for others and gotten pretty screwed. It's part of employment.